Five ways to love more by Tsem Rinpoche
Five ways to love more
By Tsem Rinpoche
1. Let go of pain from the past
Let go of the people who hurt your body, because you yourself should not keep hurting your body by holding onto pain anymore. Let go of all pain you wish on others. Do not wish pain on others and yourself. Let go of the people who abandoned you and did not help you. Let go of the people who cheated you and had bad intentions. Let go of something that was said to you that hurt you and something done to hurt you so much that it made you lock up your love. Let go of people who have not loved in the past, or those that cannot or will not love in the present. Let them go.
They do not have power over you anymore. You have power over yourself. It is only you that has power over yourself. Do not treat others negatively in the way you have been treated because you have let go. Do not be afraid to be treated badly because it is about them and not you. You can reject and accept anything as you are the one in control. Do not hold on, let it go. Love yourself by letting go of the anger, pain, frustration and fear of the past. Love yourself now by letting go and just be. Letting go is a form of self-love and the right love because you do not live from long-held pain anymore. But you live in the present moment.
2. Pray
Pray for yourself, pray for others, or pray for something that you have seen that has affected you. Prayer helps to release more love to others. Put energy into prayer and not into contemplating on past baggage and pain. Send your prayers to everyone and yourself. In your prayers do not ask for anything but send pure love embodied in your prayers that all may have peace, security and be loved. Expect nothing and be content. Prayer reaches deep within us and opens us up. It releases us. All divinity loves us. They will not judge us. They look at us with love as they have no fear.
3. Unlock yourself
When we are born, we have love for ourselves and for others around us. In time, 9 out of 10 persons lock up that love. The love is locked up for now but it does not get lost. It is there and you can open up and love again. It is impossible that you cannot love again because love is never lost. Remember the kind words, deed or smile given to you freely by someone in the past or present and focus on that and expand. Do not expand on the pain you have expanded on for so long. Instead expand on the love you received, even if it was not much. It was still love. Expand. A great tree can sprout from a tiny seed. Nurture your love even if it is small for today and make it grow. Make your love grow. A person who loves themselves is not about getting more greedy or wanting more for oneself, it is about letting go of the baggage that keeps you in fear and anger and does not let you love or give love. Not allowing love in your life or giving love gets us down, sad, depressed and physically sick. Loving is about letting go and recognising that you are greater than your pain. Pain is small and you are much greater.
4. Give love to get love
The more you give love and release love, the more you will be happier. To be happier is to acknowledge love, give love and get love. You have the power to love and to be loved. You are worthy of love. Believe that. Be conscious of love. Not romantic love, but unbiased non-judgemental love. Accept love as it comes the way it comes and not the way you expect it to be. Accept it as it comes the way it comes. Accept it and make it grow no matter how little you think it is.
5. Show you care
Show love to others every day. It could be helping them, a smile at someone or just a nice word to others. Do not think about how to take advantage of others, but how you can be an advantage to them. Do not close up anymore. Do not be afraid to love because when you really love, you will never be hurt. Sending true love out never has expectations. Without expectations we do not get hurt but we remain in love. Show love to others. If you want love, show it. Others may not give love because they are locked up in their pain, but send them love even from a distance if they cannot get your love from nearby for now. Send love, abide in love and be love. Not everyone allows your love at this time, but that does not matter, keep sending it quietly. Love is a state of having no projections, no baggage, no memories, no expectations and no wants. It is a state of just being. After all, the truth is that we came into the world with nothing and we leave everything behind that is physical. But love is eternal, so abide in it.
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To this day many people prefer taking, rather than giving. They are always asking/seeking more in life, wondering what more they can achieve, get and experience.
When you start doing more for others, and less for yourself, you receive more than you can imagine.
Prayer is one of the most powerful, most thoughtful, most loving things we can do for those we love. And the most powerful, thoughtful, and loving prayer we can pray for others .
Thank you for the thoughtful sharing.
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Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you once again for the endless teachings that you have given us unconditionally over so many years. Your exemplary example of love for all beings is already a great lesson for us to follow. You have loved us so unconditionally, that even the anti-DS people who abuse Your Eminence gets your love and compassion so that they do not further commit negative karma upon themselves.
The five ways to love more will be a great guide for us as we transform our minds in our Dharma journey.
Thank you Rinpoche for this beautiful teaching – simple and easy to remember practices for our daily life. To love others, we must first love ourselves, learn to let go and forgive. This will then open up our mind and heart to provide love unconditionally to others, be kind and develop compassion for others.
Love is wanting others to be happy. The more we give love the happier we will be. However the love we give should be pure unconditional love without projections,baggage, memories or desires.It is non-judgemental and unbiassed. This pure love can start to grow in us if we first let go of all hurts and pains of the past and the rejections, the fear and the anger. Once we are able to let go,they have no power over us. Others hurting us will have no power to drag us down, as we let go of any urge to retaliate.
Praying is a way for us to open up to love because when we pray to the divine, we will receive unconditional love -the Buddhas love us unconditionally and with a pure love that has no expectations. Pray releases us to love more. When we pray, we send pure love to all that all may have peace, security and all may be loved .We pray expecting nothing and are contented with what we have..
We all have at birth a pure love for all, for others and ourselves. But as we grew up that love somehow got locked up. We can begin to unlock this love by remembering the kindness of others, a kind word or even a smile. However little, it is like a seed and we can make it grow. No matter how small , make it grow and expand. Don”t let anger or fear stop us and drag us down into becoming depressed or sad. Remember that love is about letting go and recognizing that we are greater than our pain.
We must give love in order to get love. Happiness depends on our acknowledging love, giving love and getting love. Accept love as it comes, without expectations and we will not be hurt.
Every day show love and care to others -by helping others, giving a smile or a nice word to others. Be patient and keep giving love to others even though they may not return the love immediately. . Pure love is an eternal fountain that ensures our peace and happiness, while other things around us may fade and disappear
This is a very profound teaching but simplified into our level to practice. It really helped me overcome my own stubborn attitude that had made my life so miserable yet i ignored to wake up and face the reality. Open up your mind and to really contemplate with this teaching and look into your life honestly is very important. Because only then you can use this 5 steps to heal yourself. We are always endlessly hurting ourselves in many ways due to hating others, being judgmental, our own fixed perception, our selective attitudes, selfishness. Because being someone like that you will never be happy. Someone who cannot love, deep down inside is not happy. The moment you let go it’s like tons of burdens just dropped off from your shoulder. You will be so light and happy
This is what I see in Tsem Rinpoche, everyday. Rinpoche lives his life with this 5 steps. He brought this into our lives. He guides and trains us to use this 5 steps everyday. I’m grateful to have a great Guru like Rinpoche who himself is a walking Lamrim.
The beauty of Rinpoche’s teachings is that Rinpoche takes something complex like compassion and shows us the way to cultivate it through these 5 ways to love more. IMHO, I think that before anyone is able to develop any compassion, one needs to be able to love and be loved.
Love is fundamentally the wish of wanting another person/being to be happy. Compassion is an extension of love as not only do we wish for the person/being to be happy but also to be free from suffering. This post teaches us to how to develop more love and I do see elements of compassion as well, especially in point No. 2 – Pray. By tapping into divine energies, we not only send love to the recipient but the good energies from prayers help us awaken the innate goodness in all of us, which is our Buddha- nature.
The 5 points above will definitely help us love more and eventually develop pure compassion. An example would be how a person develops the love for a beloved pet and then perhaps this love would extend to beyond one’s pet and to all animals. When this love for all animals becomes more developed that one abandons eating meat as one does not want animals to suffer, this is when compassion arises.
Thank you very much for this teaching, Rinpoche. I am grateful to have found a Guru like Rinpoche who is able to simplify the Buddhadharma for people like me.
I’d like to thank H.E. Tsem Rinpoche for this teaching. I’ve followed Rinpoche’s advice for some time and have experienced good results. I must say that I have a more caring and loving attitude than before and consequently, I feel more happy.
For those of us who are feeling unloved, hopeless, and depressed, these five ways to love is a simple and easy method to follow in order to become whole and happy again. Start by letting go, i.e. by abandoning our attachments to things (or people) we think will bring us happiness. Nothing in samsara can bring lasting happiness. Prayers enable us to seek divine help. Buddhas do not judge us and it is easy to open up and let go through prayers. Love is something we all have in us. Because it is an innate quality, it is never lost. Allow this love to grow and give it to others without agenda, i.e. without expecting something in return. Show that we care in any way we can. This is the way to true happiness. It is this mind of love that we can take with us at the time of death.
In Buddhism, before become an enlightened beings, all living beings have to experience the suffering in taking rebirth for many lifetimes and each of the rebirth, we must have father and mother. It is possible that our previous lifetime’s father and mother have taken rebirth in other forms such as animals, hungry ghosts and etc in this lifetime. Due to this reason, we should love and treat all sentient beings well as everyone might once been our father or mother in the previous life. We owe them kindness and therefore we should practice dharma and help to liberate them from suffering and lead them to enlightenment.
I am extremely grateful that I meet and learn dharma from Rinpoche. Rinpoche’s skilful means teachings let me understand that I should not only care about myself, my family and friends but to be kind and compassion to everyone around me. Rinpoche reminds and encourage us to do our commitments and daily sadhana. Later, I realized that when we do prayers, sadhana or pujas, we must begin with Taking Refuge in the Three Jewels and followed by recitation of the Four Immeasurables. Through this practice, it is actually to help us to set a good motivation and generate our Bodhicitta for the benefit of all sentient beings.
Sometimes we can be in a situation that has a lack of ‘love’ for us or whereby we feel no love from others or a situation whereby we have been wronged. If we want to move away from feeling suffering or a lack of love one of the best ways we can do is to offer love to others. Doing so will create the causes for love to exist in our hearts once more and for others to love us.
Thanks Rinpoche and the blog team for this simple and profound teaching.
Reading the article is a flashback memory for me of how Dharma opens me up to love more and become who I am today. It started with letting go my pain and I found more capacity to perceive outer things as they are. When mentally not holding on something that actually not exist, there are much space to love others.
When I unlock myself to others, I get hurts too when expectations were not met, then I realize that’s love with condition which there’s nothing wrong with others but because of myself holding onto a wrong thing.
I learn from my Guru who take compassion into real actions and my Dharma brothers and sisters, I be able to love more even there’s nothing come back in return. I feel happy that I do something for others no matter how the “beneficiary” reacts.
Suffering is in inevitable, but pain is optional, and there’s a better option to choose pain, which is to love. Thank you.
From reading this, I mainly gathered that compassion and love are pretty much geared towards the same thing; with (i) compassion being the wish for another being to be free from suffering as well as causes thereof and (ii) love being the wish for them to have happiness. And the beauty of this is that by focussing on compassion and love in such manner, it necessitates changes from within (e.g. letting go, change of perspective etc) which in turn, allows for self-healing and self-liberation.
After all, it is the high importance placed on “self” that causes the negative reactions, be it temper tantrums, shutting people out, keeping only to self, depressive thoughts etc, that result in unhappiness. All of which is just to cover up one’s vulnerability and protect the “self”.
Unfortunately, the recognition of (a) the need to not focus on self and (b) also the nature of compassion and love as core elements which can bring about true and lasting happiness, only mostly translate to many being enamoured with them yet few truly understand, much less internalise them. As such, I remain very thankful and grateful for Rinpoche’s concise breaking down of these significant concepts to manageable bits which is useful and helpful for reflection as well as practical application.
Dear friends,
This meme is powerful. Who you hang around with and the types of attitude they have is who you will be influenced by many times and who you will become in the future. Look at your friends and the people that always surround you to know who you will become.
Tsem Rinpoche
I would say this are another 5 ways of forgiveness. If we learn to love, we have to learn to forgiving too. By forgiveness, we will able to let go of our pain, sufferings and our mind will be in peace.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this wonderful teaching. ❤️?
Excellent article on how to Love ourselves and others the right way. Good to share to anyone and everyone who wants love and to be loved.
The 5 methods are so important to put us into the right understanding and perspective. Not many would be able to follow the steps but it is really a good reminder for me. Many times , it is not easy for me to let go of the pain and it will keep pooping up in my mind. but once I let go, I can really feel pain lifted and we can then move on. It is so much better to focus our anger and hatred by giving others love and doing actions that can benefit others. When we create good causes, we will reap the good effect. Thank you Rinpoche for this profound teaching.
‘Do not be afraid to love because when you really love, you will never be hurt.’-Thank you Tsem Rinpoche and the blog team for the article. Love and to be loved,a nice statement to reflect and think about. It is actually very simple, yet sometimes the mind make it complicated.
Thank you Rinpoche for this beautiful teaching on pure unconditional love that we all have locked up within us. If we can let go of all the pain and hurt of the past within us, the anger , the fears and the frustrations, and the people who caused us all that pain and hurt in the past , we can then unlock this pure unconditional love within us.
We can release that love to fill the world. It is love that is free of any baggage, expectations or projections or desire.It is free of bias or judgement. That love is like a wellspring that keeps flowing from you regardless of whether it is returned. There is no hurt as there are no expectations . With this love, pain and hurt and all negative emotions do not have any power over us. As we give love, love comes back to us. We are liberated for peace and pure happiness.
Thank you Rinpoche.
Kindness, Compassion and Love is a universe language. It will be a peaceful place if everyone of us in this world shows and practise all the above.
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5 wonderful ways to remind us of creating moments of happiness and love without a thought of receiving anything in return. It all about compassion, caring and loving that will leads us to mind transformation to plant a bodhicitta seed . In life we got to let go and move on . When holding on is believing that there’s a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a beautiful future and accept the life that is waiting for us.
Time heals pains and suffering moving on will helps us in away to live our lives to the fullness and meaningfully.
Thank you Rinpoche for these beautiful teachings of love and compassion.
This is pretty much a concise teaching on compassion and awareness for others and incorporating it into our practice in a modern spiritual manner. Everybody likes the teachings on compassion and developing an altruistic mind but while all the theory is great, it is not something that comes easily to people.
This is because materialism and self-absorption is the norm these days. Hence, such teachings are powerful and practical reminders of our true nature – a far cry from what we have come to expect.
This is so beautiful. Five easy to follow ideas to love whole-heartedly and unconditionally. More often than not, we find ourselves locked up our love because of past hurt and experience, inhibiting our ability to receive love and accept people who love us. This makes the short life we have here even harder than it should be, with and for the people who are around us / care and love us! We should be allowed to give love to our fullest potential so that there is no regret. May everyone who still dwell in the past pain be liberated from it, and may everyone find the love they are seeking for.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing with us how to spread love with wisdom. I believe this is very important in life because we are able to feel happier when we share love with others.
As for those who have tried to harm me I just forgive them but also try to avoid them to create more negative karma for themselves and us. ?
Thank you Rinpoche for this great empowering teaching on LOVE. When we can practise and give love as in this teaching, we shall be at peace and the whole world will be a better place.
With folded hands, Datuk May