Rinpoche Through My Eyes – Shopping With Rinpoche
Joy has been a student of His Eminence the 25th Tsem Rinpoche for over 15 years. Through the years, Joy has witnessed Rinpoche’s compassion and the unconventional methods he uses to benefit others. Some of the short stories she shares will tell interesting miraculous events that Rinpoche will not mention due to his humility. She hopes these stories will serve as an inspiration in your own spiritual journey.
Rinpoche Through My Eyes – Shopping With Rinpoche
“Shopping was not exactly Rinpoche’s favourite pastime.
When Rinpoche did go shopping, it was always for others, rarely for himself.”
– Karen Chong
What Karen mentioned above is true. I remember when I used to ask myself, “Why does Rinpoche love to shop?” but that question is like asking, “Why does Rinpoche care so much?” For Rinpoche, putting others first and caring for them was like breathing. It was his natural state and also his focus.
Rinpoche bought a lot of things for people, that is a fact, but it was about more than just making them happy. It was a way to connect with people and, if possible, guide them onto a good path. The items Rinpoche bought for his students and friends were always well thought out to suit that person. Those gifts could touch a person deeply. At times they were also given to heal someone and provide them with some hope and relief from their pain. But I am not going to talk about gifts here; instead, I will write about such generosity from the perspective of those of us who assisted Rinpoche.
The Tsem Ladrang (household) team, affectionately called “the slaves” by Rinpoche, served him daily which meant we also assisted Rinpoche on shopping trips. From our side, it was a mind-blowing experience to go shopping with Rinpoche because it was a whole new ball game. Shopping with Rinpoche was another method to teach us clowns about awareness, kindness and selflessness. Even if we did not understand the qualities being taught, we learnt how to be super-duper efficient at the very least!
There was a time when Rinpoche formed a small team to assist him daily. Rinpoche named our little team “The Kind Group” because we needed to be kinder and focus more on others, and Rinpoche took us under his wing to personally train us in this. One of the many things that Rinpoche loved doing was to ask us, “What shall we do for the day?” and such a question became a part of our daily routine. After Rinpoche woke up and finished his breakfast, and drank some tea, he would ask us the question. It was actually training us to think on our toes. To think creatively and thoroughly, but at the same time to be spontaneous.
One of our favourite proposed activities was to go shopping. We often suggested going to a mall or a particular shop that had many interesting items that either Rinpoche liked or would be good gifts to get for others. However, it was not just about thinking of ideas of where to shop. We also had to think of who we could get items for. We had to remember if we observed things about a particular student that might need help and let Rinpoche know. Sometimes, we also needed to remind Rinpoche that he wanted to get a gift for someone. Finally, we needed to think about the gifts themselves and if they were appropriate for the particular person in mind. It was a way to push ourselves to think in detail, which we usually do not do when it comes to others. I never thought that such a mundane activity like shopping, which I used to love doing, would require me to use my brain so much!
In addition, Rinpoche was highly susceptible to terrible skin rashes if he sweated due to humidity. Hence, going shopping was one of the ways Rinpoche was able to get out for a walk in a suitable environment. Walking around in an air-conditioned mall was one such ideal place.
If and when Rinpoche agreed to go shopping, we needed to get everything ready. From the car to Rinpoche’s cushions, shoes, and drinks, in case Rinpoche got thirsty, we prepared it all. We even had to ensure that there was enough dog food in the car, as Rinpoche liked to feed strays and bless them whenever he saw them along the road. Such preparations were another way to train us to be efficient. Shopping was never just shopping. We had to be prepared for anything.
When out with Rinpoche, one person always led us to where we were going. This was pretty stressful, especially if we did not know the way. That is why it was best to find out as much as possible before arriving at the mall. We also needed to be alert and mindful as Rinpoche might want to stop at certain shops or make a detour if we led the way. Sometimes, Rinpoche purposely changed directions to see how alert we were. And we needed to move very fast when shopping with Rinpoche; at 6ft 3in, Rinpoche was very tall so one of Rinpoche’s steps was at least three of mine when walking alongside him!
Rinpoche was also extremely fast at picking things out when shopping. Rinpoche would pick out the items in one shop and then move on to the next shop if we had several places to go. In the meantime, someone (usually Pastor Seng Piow) handled payment at the first shop. This meant we needed to be alert and fast to take the items from Rinpoche once he picked them out; since 90% of the items Rinpoche bought were usually for other people, at the same time we also had to check the items thoroughly to ensure there were no defects or they were not damaged, and get them ready at the cashier. Hence teamwork was vital to get things done efficiently and cohesively.
I remember one incident when Rinpoche bought a bunch of items for a student because she was not doing so well at the time. Rinpoche spent a couple of hundred ringgit on groceries for the lady and her family and had us deliver them to her house that very night after we finished shopping. She was surprised and moved by Rinpoche’s kind gesture. Who would buy groceries and deliver them to your doorstep in the middle of the night?
When on such shopping excursions, we did not just follow along. We tried to anticipate where Rinpoche wanted to go next and if it was getting close to mealtime, we would also have to propose somewhere to go. This meant having to find out if the restaurant was open, if it served vegetarian food, if it was air-conditioned, and if had a quiet corner that we could all fit in. This was usually a challenge since we would finish shopping quite late most of the time, when most places would be closed, thus leaving us with minimal choices.
And so teamwork became vital again, because it meant we had to crack our heads and make calls to various restaurants all around the city. We also had to be quick as well, because Rinpoche had gastritis and had to eat on time. So all of us always tried to have in our heads a list of places to go to, ready for when Rinpoche asked for suggestions.
All in all, it was fun and exciting to go shopping with Rinpoche, though it could be stressful if one were not used to being fast, alert, and being able to think on our feet. We also had to think out of the box because the whole shopping exercise was about making another person happy.
It is true that Rinpoche did not like shopping. When done for ourselves, it can be frivolous but Rinpoche always did it for others, to show his care and help someone. Giving was second nature to Rinpoche, and shopping was just another method that Rinpoche used, an extension of his altruism. Nothing Rinpoche did was ever for himself or his own pleasure.
As for the Ladrang team? It was all about training us to focus out. Let’s face it – when we usually go shopping, we are typically focused on ourselves and what we want to buy. How many of us go out shopping for others without an agenda?
How many of us would spend thousands on others? Or take the time to think thoroughly about a person’s character, likes, and dislikes? Or have the intuition to know what the person actually needs at that point in their life? And know the perfect gift for them?
When we shop, it is 90% for ourselves. But Rinpoche transformed this strong act of self-cherishing into an act of compassion. Indirectly, without us even realising it, Rinpoche was planting the seeds of Bodhicitta in our minds. He pushed us to think about another person in detail when we usually only think about ourselves.
For more interesting information:
- Rinpoche Through My Eyes – Tsem Rinpoche, My Protector
- Rinpoche Through My Eyes – Looking for That Switch!
- Rinpoche Through My Eyes – Taboo Words
- Rinpoche Through My Eyes – Cooking For Rinpoche
- Rinpoche Through My Eyes – Vajra Yogini or Anger?
- Rinpoche Through My Eyes – The Assignment
- Rinpoche Through My Eyes – Change Karma
- Rinpoche Through My Eyes – Creating The Causes
- Rinpoche Through My Eyes – Buddha Images and Imprints
- Rinpoche Through My Eyes – Food and Dharma
- Rinpoche Through My Eyes – Spreading Dharma in Jonker Street
- Rinpoche Through My Eyes – What’s the New News?
- Rinpoche Through My Eyes – Mission Impossible
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Hi. Amazing, just amazing. my merit for you, the author is truly amazing simple yet good for wisdom, inspiration, and motivation. I remember myself I visited shops. I rarely I bought something for myself if we visit a supermarket and my grandma needs it something in a supermarket I need quickly asked her what she needed because if she wants to buy who is not a must-have when if we come back my mom if she is not in the mood even bag of nuts can make her angry and provoking and she can start a bloody fight and provoke. grandma spends her money, but if bloody fights, that is not important. my grandpa rarely would agree to go to the supermarket if it was for my grandma only. I had to put a lot of time and effort to convince him in a skillful way. during the shopping process if they argue or fight I have to be ready to be a therapist, judge, babysitter, or ‘dharma master” I was put into that role because people around me were very wounded in all possible ways so someone ( me) needed to nurse and heal wounds they have at least for some in a moment of shopping I have to think about things who we need to have, prepare the plan when we come back home if my mom was in a bad mood or very bad mood she will start to fight bloody argument but before she will provoke I have to think the ways and all strategies how we should talk with mom every word must be rethought by my me and all my reaction and other peoples reactions must be analyzed well I must think at least 20-50words ahead my words and others words too. later in a very skillful way, I must present this to my grandma and convince her that this is the way to do it if I fail to be skilful or she feels to do as we planned when it’s going to be a very high price to pay if everyone will be very damage in every possible metric. stopping bloody fights and nursing 4 people without letting them destroy themselves or others seems a hard task, so like in a war with no guns falling, my plan is a very high price. I also have to set up a plan if the plan collapse I need to think about a backup plan if I fail to present my plan in the correct way my grandma will start giving me emotional scenes, mind games pity parties, comparing my life with her life demanding praise and comforting indirectly. busy how to make my grandma happy also my grandpa often humiliates her with words and that she took it hard so her weapons all those things above. also for samsaric beings, victory is the sweetest ignorance and ego will collect us countless victories against our enemies it will be like a sweet doorway to a sweet destination for most ignorant beings just craving to visit HELL. I truly had not much time to prepare everything to plan everything also I was extremely stressed out and almost have panic but being sad or any kind of unhappy worst sin. if I do that or try to share how I feel. endless pity parties, mind games, emotional scenes, endless comparing myself to their life. they never pity me they just pity themselves for being “forced” to look at me sadly. if I share anything with people that wounded would mean disaster for them and for me. so outside just a boy in a wheelchair looking at things in a shop, constantly smiling because if I do not smile it’s already very bad. trying to hide my sadness and shaking my arms and body from time to time is very stressful and a lot of panic fear etc. remember one time at the age of 5 I was eating ice cream at the supermarket for me they tasted so bitter I remember at that time one Chinese zen master use to say if everything tastes bitter for you because you suffer so much with everything you got to strive for transformation. for me, often, it was just my duty to protect everyone. in samsara, we gain a lot of “gold,” but when we came closer to shining gold it we see that it is shit and ignorant beings became, even more, drown in this shit, and we became shity but the good thing with dharma and tools and dharma tools we can clean ourselves and even better we can transform this shit into real gold awakening and attainment. May all Lamas live long and stay healthy. may they all have eager and diligent students around them may the students always fulfill instruction quickly and always stay happy. may HE TSEM TULKU RINPOCHE SOON COMEBACK TO GUIDE US and may all Dorje Shugden monasteries regain formal glory and make limitless countless living Buddhas for now and always.
Reading this profound post tells us important teachings , we odd to learn from. Shopping with Rinpoche was another method to teach students about awareness, kindness and selflessness. Whatever our Guru do is a lesson and examples for us to learn and practice Dharma. Everyone of us learned through experienced and mistakes to be a better person. Lessons in life will be repeated until they are learned. It is wiser to learn experience from others and view life as continuous learning experience.
Thank you Rinpoche and Ani Chokyi for this wonderful post.