No more excuses please
Dear friends,
I received yet another apology from a student. And it has been many times already over the last two years with this person. I care about this person very much, but the situation is nearly the same. So I wrote a reply. I thought I’d share the reply. It might help or be applicable to some of us. I do not profess to know everything or have all the answers, but I do know doing our work well is essential. I am certainly not above it, but I still have to plug on and get things done just like everyone else. This is a private email but I will have it here without the name in the spirit of hoping it will benefit others. Forgive me if it sounds offensive, I do not mean it to be.
Tsem Rinpoche
Dear XXXX,
It’s very simple, you want ‘in’ or ‘out’? If you want out, you know life and the meaningless drudgery of it you will be going back to. You know your end result like many towards the end of your life will be meaningless death. The very purpose you are in dharma now is you have seen through the fallacies of life’s empty samsaric promises. That is the real reason underlying all reasons.
If you are in, you join an accepting group of people who literally wants to make a difference in the world. It is not by nice words, drinking endless cups of coffee in cafes, bantering gossip about friends and life in restaurants or rubbing shoulders with this or that friends who are just as unhappy as you BUT without a clue to a solution. You are in an organization that I am the head of and will work very hard. We have a philosophy derived from sacred Gaden and we have an immaculate protector(s). We have direction, we have purpose, we have hope and we have AN INCREDIBLE GOAL. You cannot find this anywhere.
Whether you are in or out IS NOT PHYSICAL BUT MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL. You may be in, but if you are still attached to your old life of sleep, deceptive freedom, friends, conveniences, easy life, socializing et al, then you will not perform well here or anywhere. Whether you want to do work in secular or spiritual, it is the same qualities that will get you there. What did the life of secular ‘freedom’ you had before Kechara bring you? Got you where? Resulted in what? What have you achieved? Whatever you are failing in Kechara is what you were failing in before you came to Kechara. What your parents didn’t teach you, is left to me to teach you. Whatever insecurities and failures you feel or self-hatred you feel before Kechara you brought into Kechara and into my world and you leave it to me to deal with.
If you are a bad communications person, then you make me and Kecharians suffer now for it. Lots of time spent to find out the real communications, repairs, extra energy and resources to do things over.
If you are not a hard worker, you burden Kecharians to cover for you. They have to do their share and cover what you didn’t do.
If you like to cover mistakes, then you make Kecharians spend more time to talk to you, find out what happened and that time could have been spent better.
If you like the night life, easy life, fun life and convenient life, then you make everyone else around you who want to work with you, work harder to cover for you. To accommodate you. Accommodating you is not the reason you came to dharma. It’s the opposite in fact.
If you are late, undisciplined, not on time, always give excuses and always do your work sloppily, you make Kecharians put up with this, tolerate this, be patient with this and also forgive you again and again and again with your myriad deliciously worded apologies.
If your mind goes up and down and up and down like a see-saw, it is not Kechara who made you this way. You came this way. Staying in Kechara you will see-saw and leaving Kechara you will see-saw in your new environment. In fact in your new environment you will see-saw worse having experienced the blessings of Kechara and our goals. Your see-sawing mind is because you are lazy, impatient and want the easy way out. When you don’t get that, you get sad, depressed, question why you are here. But that is what you have been doing your whole life.
When you make promises to your teacher or your fellow dharma staff and you don’t keep it, you set such a bad example. You reaffirm your failure of before entering Kechara. Whatever you did not achieve before you entered Kechara, you are leaving it to me and those around you to pick up your pieces daily and ‘retrain’ you to achieve… think….
You see, whatever mental or emotional problems you developed before Kechara, the people around you have it also. You, me and all of us suffer variations of the same problems and mental downs…When you show these traits again and again, you make them trigger in other people. Does that mean you can never be unhappy and pretend you’re enlightened? Of course not… but up or down, you still have TO DO YOUR WORK WELL, PERFECTLY AND TO COMPLETION. EVERYONE IN THE WORLD WHETHER THEY ARE UP OR DOWN MUST PRODUCE WORK RESULTS TO SURVIVE TO LIVE.
Whether you are in Kechara or not, you will be up and down and you still have to produce. But outside of Kechara, rarely do others want to or will cover you over and over again. You affect those around you severely… we all do. It becomes a chain reaction. You can cause those around you to have doubts, be depressed, be demotivated, not perform well and when you finally ‘bounce’ back from your current down episode, the people around you are down again… Then they drag others down. Then when they come up, you are in your endless cycle of down again. So it is a chain reaction… and how do you control it? Well there is no magic formula, you just focus on your goals and control it. How would you control it without Kechara? Same, you focus on your goals and control it in Kechara or in the secular.
If you have been a person without goals and now you are in a rush-rush hectic Kecharian environment of goal driven environment, count yourself lucky. Why? Because together with others you can achieve what you couldn’t achieve alone before you entered Kechara. Since you ‘don’t’ perform well, have so many ups and downs and you are not driven, then rather than paddle 1,000 miles on a static lake to get to the shore, you are on a river where you paddle and the river pushes you towards the other end also. The river is likened to many others around you that are into the same goal and work hard. Better to be on a river than paddling on your own. Think carefully of my example.
I receive hundreds of apologies over the years, very few move me or make me believe. I fight being cynical all the time. Why? Because so many disappoint me time and time again. If a few persons disappoint you and you feel down, then you are selfish. Because think of the hundreds over decades that disappoint me and I still have to keep going. Why? Because I am better than you, no not really…but because I focus on the goal and not my emotions as much. I focus on my goals and realize without dharma goals I HAVE NOTHING. My example is all the people around me. They have nothing of worth and value they can take at death yet they live as if there is no death. Silly self deception. Silly selfishness hidden behind depressions, down time and feeling like we can’t do it.
You are mature and older and you have to be double most of the people around you. Age is suppose to confer wisdom, maturity, stability and qualities others may look up to. If you are nearing forty, or forty or older, then you have a sacred responsibility to act forty. And combined with the secular wisdom of a mature person, top them off with dharma and voila you should be a shining light to all those around you.
You should be a person who is stable, does what you say, does not forget promises, tells the truth, works hard, nurtures others younger and older people (some come to dharma late or realize the truth late) and take your dharma work as your saviour which it is. Dharma work is your saviour. What does it save you from?? Dharma saves you from you!
Apologies are the first step but it does not purchase the respect you lost and the loss of confidence and deep pain, hurt and disappointments you have created. Apologies do not mend or make up for all the resources you have caused to be wasted. The single most important resource we have is the friendship/love and support we have in Kechara from those around us. This love and support will NEVER BE FOUND ANYWHERE ELSE.
Apology letters sometimes make me angry. Because you can’t rob someone and then it’s ok with just a letter. How can someone consistently do harm, not do their work well, not do their job well, burden others, make others disappointed, damage others and then it’s forgotten with a letter. People who do not do their work well do not deserve to be here by right. They are here because we have compassion and mercy. We love our people. Having said that, the Kecharians may be kind and forgiving, but your karma is ruthless. Karma is unbiased. What you have done, when it fruitions, will make you lose the most precious things you have. No words, apologies and delicious explanations will help you.
Buck up now. Change now. Whatever you have been failing at, do not expect Kechara or Kecharians or others to cover for you or constantly forgive. If you don’t buck up and constantly burden others, it’s not a matter of forgiveness, it’s that the work still has to get on. It still has to complete.
BOTTOM LINE-
We all have:
- anger
- low self esteem
- fear
- perhaps bad upbringing
- disappointments
- hurt
- pain
- feeling sorry for ourselves
- hiding
- wanting ‘easy’ life whatever that really means
- tragedies
- failures
- laziness
- attachments, etc etc etc etc and endless variations of the above and more etc…
BUT THE KEY IS:
Since all of us have these, why do some people still do their work well with all their emotional baggage? And some people use the emotional baggage as an excuse for not doing their work well? Either way, we all have the same emotional/disciplinary problems. Why do some people still perform and do their work well even with the baggage still? Because some hold their responsibilities firm and some have had very little responsibilities,’training’ them to be flippant about it most of their lives. Someone has always covered for them. This is the key for some. We all have to produce. How much is if we have had anyone to lean on. But if we have lived a life of not producing anything much or someone covered for us always, then we continue our ways now burdening a new set of people we are involved with. Dumping our excuses on them or dumping our work on them using our emotional baggage for sympathy/excuse for not performing. But you know what, deep down inside all of us, we do not want to burden or hurt others. And we know what to do. So do it. JUST DO IT. WHETHER YOU ARE NEW IN DHARMA OR OLD IN DHARMA, IS NOT THE POINT, RESPONSIBILITIES AND YOUR WORDS OF HONOUR (INTEGRITY) IS THE SAME.
So don’t wait for yourself to become a ‘better’ person. YOU ARE THE BETTER PERSON NOW IF YOU CHOOSE. NOW. Don’t wait for dharma to sink in and you change, that is wrong. We all have responsibilities, so just do it irregardless.
Do not take anything for granted. Do not assume. Do not take anything lightly. Do what you are supposed to do and do it now and well. Excuses had all been said and explained. If you keep failing, my love and care for you will never cease, but will you have the karma to keep the most precious thing in your life?
Tsem Rinpoche
This is in reply to XXXXX (below), but in hindsight, might benefit many. And also this is not to ‘get’ or embarrass XXXXX. It is for reflection please. The person in the photo above is myself.
Dearest Rinpoche,
I apologise for the disappointment I have caused. I do care about Rinpoche a lot and it breaks my heart to know i am causing more pain than relief for Rinpoche.
This is in no way a poor me reflection because i do really want to help Rinpoche in any way i can and i know i can do it.
My inconsistency i have come to realise, stems from me not caring enough and assuming things are done and not following through. And also largely due to me thinking i have everything sorted out in my head and in control but being big headed and stubborn, that if i do drop the ball or when someone points out my faults or mistakes, i get defensive and close up and at times even try to cover most unconvincingly (but my pride makes me think otherwise).
I also do realise i do fight/stop these negative thoughts/actions and catch them more these days. I know i am not perfect but i know i am improving as a person through the grace of Rinpoche. And i do realise fully that whatever actions Rinpoche takes in pushing my buttons is for my benefit and am very thankful and blessed to have the merits to receive such methods of teaching in this day and age!
I will not go into a whole song and dance of how i am going to improve but what i will do is just BE that person Rinpoche can trust and be proud of and cut the rest of the poor me crap out!
Through my realisations of late, i have written the following to reflect on which i would like to humbly share with Rinpoche: ”A lifetime of bad habits can be changed with a mere switch in attitude. A lifetime of heavy baggage can be lightened by just LETTING GO!”
I hope Rinpoche rested well.
Much love… XXXXXX
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The problem with us finding excuses will lead us to be a habit. In long run this bad habit will hold us back and we may never able reach our financial or life goals. Excuses prevent us from living the life we want and it cripple our happiness and success. We are the one who is loosing the opportunity. It will stop us from facing our fear of making mistakes, our lives will remain stagnant. They are a lot of ways that the habit of making excuses have hurt us and we may not even know it. Till someone points out . We have to be true to ourselves and take the responsibilities in our work. Not to burden others, try our best and see what we can do better. Take responsibility for our own actions, and we can live an incredible life of integrity for sure. Make time to create positive momentum, and we will continue moving forward in life.
Thank you Rinpoche for this sharing and the precise teachings.
When I read this blog, it hits me hard that whatever Rinpoche described here is a mirror for me and everyone. We all have the problem of not doing our part in some point in time one way or another. Hence, it is very important for us to take Rinpoche’s advice personally to do our part to the best of our ability. It is important to always remember that we should not burden others with the work we did not do, like how Rinpoche teaches us. It is also important to support our Dharma friends in ways that can improve him/her; there is a saying “Give a Man a Fish, and You Feed Him for a Day. Teach a Man To Fish, and You Feed Him for a Lifetime”. May I have the strength and tenacity to develop the qualities described by Rinpoche. Thank you, Rinpoche for this teaching.
Dear Rinpoche,
I came across this post when going through my old mail, and now, I’m glad I did. This really is a profound teaching about self-improvement; something that I really want, especially now at this time and age when I’m going off to study and will be away from my family and friends.
I know that I am sheltered by my family. Thus, I know that I hold a little naivety with me, and if don’t improve on myself, I know people will take advantage of me. I always want to help others, and that is not wrong, but sometimes being to eager to help may lead to undesired circumstances for myself or to people I care about.
That is why I want to improve myself, to be able to be useful, make the right decisions, and not hold anyone back.
Your humble student,
Keng Hwa.
[…] No more excuses please […]
We are always guilty of giving excuses or ‘reasons’ for not doing something. I guess this is not just habitual, but a state of our mind. All excuses given will have consequences. For not being able to deliver our work on time, it will have a chain effect on other people’s schedule. We must make a deliberate action to reduce number of our excuses.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this letter with us. Every word in the letter hit me hardly. Regret that I forever made mistakes some more fail to confess. Instead of contributing to the dharma, I created more work for my dharma brothers and sisters. I am taking full responsibilities on whatever I have done.
I may or may not live until tomorrow. I do not own anything from yesterday and I cannot take anything with me tomorrow. Why not just do it now. Do as much as I can now instead of regret when chances passed.
Everyone will do the wrong things but we should learn from the mistake then dun make the mistake again. Is seen to be easy to say out but uneasy to be done.
Due to our selective style and always stay in comfort zone our mind will transform very very slow. But when we start our FIRST STEP to change sure we may STARTED to transform it maybe slow but at least started.
Thanks Rinpoche for sharing the key to let us aware that we got no more excuses.
with out rinpoche and with out dharma we cant do anything.every people come kechara bucause they want good rejalt and we want better.we want in or out is verry clear for rinpoche teaching.
no more i dont know i dont want to do i scared to do .must do it.no more excuses.thank you rinpoche for ihis blog.
I’ve just been speaking with some people about something similar and some of them have been saying things like, “Oh but I’m not very capable,” “I’m useless”, “I’m stupid” – thing is, stupid people don’t know they’re stupid, useless people don’t know they’re useless. I think being capable or not, useless or useful, stupid or not is a choice, it’s not some kind of terrible prison sentence that someone else has imposed upon us and that we have to live with. I think nowadays, it’s quite easy for others to see through this kind of false humility and know straight away that it’s just yet another big cover up for not wanting to do more or not having achieved anything.
It’s also not a choice that someone’s putting a gun to our heads to make. If we don’t choose to do more and choose to make excuses for not being able to do it, that’s fine – that’s our prerogative to decide. Then we should also be happy with what we’ve “chosen” when the results of that come – which could be that we get nowhere, have no friends, don’t achieve the things we want to etc. To simply say that we’re lazy or useless, not good enough, not clever enough etc is denying that there’s ever such a thing as karma, and a kind of opposite surrendering to a dead-end fate, which is not logical.
Well said Paris. To add to your list of why they cant do this and that is another phrase which I always get; “it is not my forte”! Oh My Buddha! Nothing is not one’s forte until one is willing to learn and go all the way with it. Is walking a baby’s forte? NO, not until the baby decides to get up to learn to walk, fall, get up again, and keeps trying till he can run.
I agree Rinpoche that we are full of excuses to cover our selectiveness and laziness.Only when we respond to opportunities with action, we do it not only as an aspect of our practice,but also for the growth of our individual character.We are responsible for the nourishment of our practice by engaging with others in our communities.With such principles recognized,but unapplied to daily opportunities,the hold upon the ideal of what the Buddha taught.We lose the chance for realizing the opportunities for finding the lessons that can be awakened in us,that only through our actions can be experienced.Thank you Rinpoche ,for this priceless teaching.
Dear Rinpoche,everything that Rinpoche says is so right….have always been right….thats why deep down we either face it or be in denial pretend it’s not true or it doesn’t apply to me or simply turn a blind eye,a deaf ear all bcoz we don’t want to face the truth,hide..,it’s time for me to face it head on and never give up no matter what.I Thank you.
“Whether you are in Kechara or not, you will be up and down and you still have to produce.
But outside of Kechara, rarely do others want to or will cover you over and over again. You affect those around you severely… we all do. It becomes a chain reaction. ”
The above indeed very true, from my past experiences in the corporate sector, without dharma made me easily inpatient and feel pressured in works, the way we dealt with co workers also very selfish and narrow minded.
I am glad I am in Kechara and there are UP & DOWN as always, but I am happy that i gradually doing things that i do not like and feel happy to do it, eventually become like to do the DONT LIKE jobs….
Its tough initially, but this is the key of practicing dharma, Rinpoche always said, never forget DHARMA IS DOING THINGS THAT YOU DO NOT LIKE !
Thank you Rinpoche !
有时候我自己也会为自己做不到的事情找借口，这是为了不让别人知道自己做不到。可是，最近我自己发觉有时候是因为自己在作出承诺以前，并没有想清楚自己是否又能力胜任，只是认为只要是佛法的事，就应该去做，所以做到最后，自己因为累了或是因为其他的理由就放弃了。所以，现在的我学会凡事三思而行，要认真的想清楚，因为自己的承诺是金，不要随便的答应而做不到，这不但害了自己，也害到别人。
Yes, you were right Rinpoche. We must be real to our spiritual journey, be real to our teacher, be real to the people around us. All in all, we must be real to our ownselves and do the work well! Everyone have weaknesses and bad habits which must be got rid off immediately. The friendship, love and support which we have cultivated in Kechara must be savaged and manintained. It is the most important source of our devoted unity, as this love and support will never be found anywhere, as mentioned. To borrow an old saying, “Ask not what Kechara can do for us, but what we can do for Kechara to benefit others!” Thank you once again Rinpoche, for re-awakening our sleeping and deluded minds.
your advice agrees equally with my experience we are who we are in this time a bunch of bloated water and words and the only thing behind us is the result of the action we have taken and the only thing in front of us is oppprtunity , lets not waste this precious life lets stand up and take responsibiity for our home , mother earth and all of the children that live in it so they may see a future challenge that motivates them to be human
Thanks Rinpoche for the posting to reflect what we can not do due to our self-resistant, and what we can really do.
What Rinpoche says here is really true, we do have ups and downs and hang-ups, but the point is what we want and where are we going.
We may not be perfect, we may not be a good person before, but it doesn’t mean that we can’t be. If we really treasure Rinpoche and Dharma, we need to play our part to fight our inner negative thoughts, because it’s something that hurts ourselves and others. And it’s something Buddha concerns because this is the cause of samsara.
I remember Rinpoche said this in a teaching, “When you are in samsara, you are ready for Dharma works”. Dharma works buy us a ticket to leave samsara, but we need to work our way out to grab the ticket before we turn into another condition and lost the ticket. We must work hard, there’s no other way.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you for sharing this private mail with all of us. I truly understand your advice & concern.
Yes, all of us have a certain degree of these bad traits / habits in us … the bottom line is how much do we willingly push ourself to achieve set goals / promises / responsibilities in our life sometimes & all the times. How many people wish / can carry out these commitments for others benefits without agenda at all ? This is even a much tougher question to answer & to do, at least it applies to me… I ask myself this questions too.
I salute all those who work day & night without self-agendas but with the motive of benefiting others, some of these people whom they do not know/ met. I wish in the near future i too could do the same like these great individuals.
Rinpoche, wish you good health, Always.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you for sharing this letter with us.What was mention does reflect on how most of us will feel when we are overwhelm with emotion, rather then seeking a solution to solve the issue to reach the goal, we rather choose to run away by passing the buck to others to settle it.We might have friends who are willing to take ownership of the issue to settle it for us,we might have felt relived that the issue is settled.. But in time to come ,if we do not wish to change this attitude or be lost in world of excuses then we are only left with a name without “Integrity”.
I would choose to remember this letter well, to remind myself on the disappointment I would have cause others when I have failed to owe up to my own commitment as a “TEAM”.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this correspondence with us.
I take it that we are all addressees of Rinpoche’s reply, so I read it a second time with thought that the letter was addressed to me directly and it got me blushing…
I was brought up where every unnessary explaination is considered an excuse. If you are right then you are right. If you are wrong then you are wrong. No debate here. We humans are so full of excuses and bull shit (me included).
One thing I really don’t understand is why people still don’t transform even a little bit when constantly exposed to Dharma. Here we go calling people of some ‘religion’ hypocrates. Are we any better if we don’t transform ourselves? I know our imprints limits us in this department, whether its the Lamrin, Bible or Quran, emphasis is for believers to change or transform into better people. Why do we still go to temple, churches etc etc if we are not willing to change? Am really perplexed…..Wait! could it be……? I know most places serves food and refreshments during all services.
I hold on to my believes that if I’m not able to do anything right after many attempts, I would stop doing to avoid the whole world picking up the pieces after me. ONCE beatened TWICE shy.
Every one of us is bound to have at least ONE talent. Find out and harness that for the good of Dharma. If the person has non (which is impossible when you have all your faculties intact and workable) then too bad.
“the Kecharians may be kind and forgiving, but your karma is ruthless. Karma is unbiased. What you have done, when it fruitions, will make you lose the most precious things you have. No words, apologies and delicious explanations will help you.”
With the karma effect in mind, it’s no other way but look at the goals and go all the way.
Thank you Rinpoche for this precious & meaningful teaching.
Dear Rinpoche
I like this particular blogpost. Especially the part that say,” Because you can’t rob someone and then it’s ok with just a letter.”
Valentina
Thank you, Rinpoche for sharing this. I would take it as a creed to read and reflect on all times on faults and failures we have brought with us till now and not having achieve anything in life. Kechara is the real place, family and friends to support and assist each other to become better person in our spiritual path.
Whatever tasks entrusted to us we must strive to do it all the way and complete it by taking upon responsibilities of not burdening others. Everything we do are all interdependent for a common goal. Never can we be a lone ranger to champion a cause. We need each other to achieve it.
Passion drives just like what Jane Goodall did whom has inspired many. She has exemplified..”We have the power to affect the world positively and we have the poser to affect the world negatively.” How we use this power is a matter of choice for we are in control irrespective of how adverse the situation is. (http://blog.tsemtulku.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/animals-vegetarianism/something-incredible-about-jane-goodall.html)
Yes, no one controls our body, speech and mind, but we ourselves. It’s our choice.We can make the choice, HERE AND NOW, of identifying with the incredibly wonderful Dharma goal of Kechara and Kecharians and do Dharma work and practice Dharma with integrity and a strong sense of commitment and responsibility. Or we can continue to wallow in our laziness and our wanting to take the easy way out and in letting others cover for us; and, in the process, drag others down with us into negativity, suffering and depression.
Like many, I too have an emotional baggage, and a humongous one at that! I have also, in the past, let this baggage become my excuse for not being totally committed to Dharma work and practice.
When I look back at all the time wasted, and I look ahead and see how time is running out on me, I feel I have no other option left.
Thank you, Rinpoche, for your great love and compassion in reminding us that we are our own worst enemy.
Thank you Rinpoche for the very wise and profound teaching.
I realise that everything we do have a ripple effect , on every one around us and whether good or bad, that ‘ripple’ hits back to us eventually. We are truly blessed to have Rinpoche in our lives, who never gave up on us , understands our flaws and weaknesses , cares , loves and guides us with such compassion , and is there time and time again to back us up when that ‘ripple ‘ (which by now has turned into a tidal wave ) hits us flat on our stubborn arrogrant faces.
Thank you Rinpoche for being in our lives .
Thank you Rinpoche for such profound advice. I am afraid that I was one of the guilty ones. I used to have this attitude when i was working that I do not need to check my work as the next person who receives it will have to check anyway until my mentor who was my ex-boss and now a dear friend, so very patiently pointed out to me the selfishness of such attitude. I will further strive to correct all my other weaknesses as pointed by Rinpoche here.
Thank you again Rinpoche.
Every time I am lazy,
Every time I let my emotion go up & up,
Every time I created disharmony,
Every time I promised something but don’t do it,
I will burden others to benefit more people.
This is what I need to remember from now onwards.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this post and teaching us.
It is really meaningful to me and in this post have pointed my similar weakness..
Nowadays I try to improve myself and won’t let other people down and disappoint on me, that always care me and guidance me.
Really appreciate it much this teaching in this post from Rinpoche..
Thank you, Rinpoche for sharing this for us to reflect on. I admit that I too have these emotional baggage that Rinpoche pointed out that I have to improve on.
We should take pride in the work that was entrusted to us instead of pushing /dumping our work to someone else. As a dharma practitioner, we should be of less burden to others. Real dharma practice is not to make others suffer or burden them.
Thanks Rinpoche.
This is really a very good article to serves as individual wake up call. We can pretend and act ignorance, lazy and etc to escape from responsibilities. But as a sane person still intact with the last bits of consciousness, we should aware that we have a choice. And if we still want to be in Dharma line, its time to step up the game and make the correct choice. After all, what makes a happy person is the one that dare to commit sincerely to benefit others and keep up to the commitment, day after day, without degenerating the commitments.
The road for beginners is definitely not easy, but what is easy in life?
This article although condensed, I had learned, refreshed and realized many points on how to be a better and responsible person to ourselves and all the people around us.
Rgds,
Andrew chiam
I am guilty of what Rinpoche has listed here because I am not the perfect person but I strive to be better. I will trip and fall along the way but I will pick myself up and continue the journey.
No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path – The Buddha
Thank you, Rinpoche for showing great compassion despite many failures of students during these current conditions. We must take into heart this advice and transform our mind.
We have direction, we have purpose, we have hope and we have AN INCREDIBLE GOAL. You cannot find this anywhere. Whether you are In or out IS NOT PHYSICAL BUT MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL.
~ Tsem Rinpoche
Thank you Rinpochefor sharing this article.
To me, Focus on our DIRECTION & GOAL, once make the choice TO BE IT, hold this well and GO ALL THE WAY is the key!
Samsara and the Buddha and our Guru are opposites. The Guru/Buddha actually cares and wants us to be alright, samsara does not care and just gets us to create more and more karma to create and endless cycle of rebirths. I feel Rinpoche always pushing us to learn things, absorb knowledge and etc etc is to make us better and better, as we should never be selective in a spiritual path and keep doing until we become enlightened, develop Bodhicitta or reach a stage that we have reached our potential in this life. Why because we have a precious human life that can bring us to more rounds in samsara or give us control of our existence so which one do we want?
What I am saying is that for a student’s welfare Rinpoche has to fight against our delusions, our samsara and samsara in general, and what he has at his disposal is what we allow the lama, so at any time Rinpoche is trying to better you he is putting in tremendous efforts to figure out a way or method that can reach us, and most of the to time we don’t make it easy on Rinpoche. How much more we can receive help is how much good karma we have in the guru student relationship. Once exhausted due to it being used up and not replenished then even if the lama wants to help you there will be overwhelming obstacles.
Future tense is senseless. Wishes for the future is unsure. Be what you wish now. No one controls your body, speech and mind. So you don’t need to transform your body speech and mind in the future. Fortitude and tenacity is achievable now. if you don’t achieve it-then it is a choice. Pick the right choices. In real dharma with real dharma friends and real dharma work and real dharma environment, there is no future tense. We may not even be alive tomorrow. It is now. Your body, speech and mind is controlled by you..so don’t blame a third person that is fictitious. Don’t make your teacher a liar and Buddha not real..be here and now. Have the qualities now. You are in control of yourself. Your teacher is not a liar and there is a Buddha…Sarva Mangalam….Tsem Rinpoche
This I learned from Rinpoche – whether we can physically do the assignment now , tomorrow or half an hour later , we must be mentally committed to finish it the moment we said YES to our guru.
If we have this mindset, like Muhammad Ali said : “Impossible is NOTHING “
Just like the person who apologized, I too, have similar weaknesses pointed by Rinpoche in this post. My weaknesses may have varying degrees but they are still weaknesses that I have to improve on.
That would be for me to improve on and not let others suffer if I really want to practice dharma.
Thank you, Rinpoche.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing and for using every opportunity to teach us the Dharma.
It is so sad that we tend to harm and take for granted those kindest to us. Perhaps we have the ignorance and arrogance to believe that these people will never abandon us. However, we forget the law of cause and effect (karma) that will eventually catch up with us and run its course.
Living in the midst of a “dog eat dog world”, I witness that repeated mistakes and non-compliance are not tolerated. Consequently, everyone behaves themselves and play by the rule to keep their roles. Just to clarify, this situation applies to personal relationships as well, e.g. if a guy does not maintain his girlfriend “properly”, he will soon be replaced by a better candidate.
This is not the case in the world of pure Dharma where Rinpoche has 1) patiently accepted mistakes, 2) tried to help wrongdoers discover the root of their problem and overcome it as well as 3) shower His “employees” with Dharma gifts and teachings (as we can see in constant blog updates).
As smart people, which world would you choose? I believe the answer is the Dharma world for many of us. So, if we are smart enough to choose the Dharma world, let’s further develop our intelligence (I dare not speak of wisdom from the level we are currently operating) to stay in this world by abiding the centuries-old law of karma.
It could be hard to perfectly complete all the Dharma tasks assigned but it is no easier in the secular world. The difference is: in the Dharma world the challenges we are given are designed to strengthen our minds that will benefit us lifetime after lifetime while in the secular world the bulk of our so called achievements are allocated to pay for the lifestyle of the bosses.
So let’s buck up and help each other as dharma students by watching out for each other, actively giving honest feedback (so that our Guru does not have to), and ensuring we all get the job done perfectly. Now, that is true team spirit, which I believe will contribute to the group’s positive collective karma.
Dearest Rinppoche
Thank you very much for sharing with us. I very much like the way you pen it straight forward and direct to our problems. Looking for easy way out and let others cover for us and creating the workload for our counterparts working with us. This happens everywhere in any general organizations and do create frustrations for others with them. We do have all our problems as long as we live we have problems may it be money, self esteem and up bringing. Yes, these are all excuses we use when we failed and think it is acceptable but some forget that the person one work with also has their own set of problems but just because the handle it better then other we assumed they do not have their problems.
I really like this letter it makes me think harder and it give the impact on me to be more conscience of myself and the quality of work that I produce, and others.
Thank you very much Rinpoche.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you for sharing this! As you have said everyone has problems. Many people come to Dharma in the hope that it will be easier for them to “fix” their problems. At first they are all hyped up but then later they realize that it is not as easy as they thought it was (nothing is easy in life anyway.) People come to Dharma to better themselves (among other reasons) and this is a good thing. But if people are not going to do the work, then why are they here? If they are not going to do what their guru tells them, then why come to teachings practices, sit in front of the guru and get inspired. It is like the gurus words go in one ear and out the other. The people that do this don’t even study, contemplate and meditate. They just smile and nod and listen to the gurus teaching without studying, contemplating, meditating and implementing it in their daily life. If you are really serious please buck up, do the work and practices that have been given to you with a smile and happiness. No excuses or arguing! This is just my opinion and I do not mean any disrespect, ill will ect. I am just voicing my opinion. Again thank you for sharing this, and I am off to do the practice given to me by my teacher. Hope things are well! 🙂
Dear Liz, I like your straightforward, no-nonsense approach. Be real to yourself. Be real to your spiritual journey. Be real to your teacher. Be real to the people around you. Deception knowing and unknowing only invites more pain. So just be real. Face yourself and do the work well now. Not tomorrow or later…but now. Thanks Liz. TR
Dear Rimpoche,
Thank you for your advice to all of us.
My opinion only – to be able to prostrate at the feet of a guru and to have full devotion to the Guru is the basis of all blessings.
To change – a person must practice the teachings given by the Guru. The change will come gradually as our defilements are deeply buried in us. Faith and devotion is the key to the ‘changing’. Only a small opinion.
thank you rimpoche from a ‘student’
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this letter in the blog. There is no denying the truth in Rinpoche’s response to this apology. We get gung-ho when we first get involved in dharma but without commitments, over time this fell by the sidelines as we get caught up with our mundane activities again.It is much easier to be involved with samsaric activities as the main focus is ourselves. The only person we are disappointing is ‘ME’ as we cannot face the honest truth of what we are. I have come to the conclusion that I have not developed enough compassion to bring benefit to others for if I did, there would be no obstacles to doing dharma work.I have to let go of the concept of the ‘perfect’ condition for it will never arises and JUST DO.The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak…