This is important to know | 必须知道的重要事项
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This is very important for our well being of mind, body, relationships, emotions, work, family and spiritual… please read and contemplate deeply… I wrote it from experience, thoughts and talking to hundreds of people. I am no expert, but it might help…
When we are given an assignment, we should FIND REASONS TO COMPLETE IT… never give reasons why we ‘couldn’t’ do it. In life being selective might be ok for vice, but when it comes to your spiritual path and you have taken refuge, being selective is not a good sign especially when your teacher assigns you something. If you don’t respect the Dharma assignments, it means you don’t respect your teacher. That is a clear indication you don’t respect your teacher. If you don’t respect your teacher who has conveyed the dharma to you, it will be hard for you to respect others in the future (maybe past), then your spiritual journey remains stagnant.
If you are above 15 years old, then once you agree to something you should do it all the way without any reminders and excuses. You are old enough to know a promise is a promise. If you need reminders, it means you don’t respect or find it important. If you don’t find something important and your teacher does, but you still don’t do it, it means you know more than your teacher. You have more knowledge, more wisdom, more dharma than your teacher. Is that the case? Then why is this person your teacher? If not, your actions show that to yourself and others around you. Not a good message to share..That is not something good to show. No matter how hard your dharma assignment you should do it. Delays from beyond your control is inevitable sometimes, but not every time.
From keeping your commitments/promises, you gain integrity. From integrity, you gain respect. From respect your mind is calm because you know others like you. They respect you. Everyone needs to feel respected and welcomed. How would you be welcomed if you have no integrity. Not having integrity will make you an angry, volatile person who avoids the truth. Or fights back to save face, but in the end saves nothing. You may have saved effort not to complete what you promised, but you will have to spend more energy covering for it because you don’t want people to find out.
You may be good looking, have money, or can sweet talk others out of your responsibilities, but do you think they really respect you or just want to use you? After all if you are good looking, then people may make it easier for you the first few times, but that is only the first few times. Life’s like that. If you have money, you may think you buy yourself from responsibilities. But that is how you handle it. If you spend time earning the money to sponsor, of course people know where your time went and feel grateful for your sponsorship and not pile you with more work. But if wealth is a substitute because you’re lazy and you cover for it by paying for things, that would not earn respect either. There is wealth that is inherited or by chance and you didn’t have to work for it. If you can sweet talk, that is nice, but use it to benefit others from vice, not use it to cover irresponsibility. When you show up, think. How do people react to you. What is the energy your presence conveys to them… please think… only you would know that. I know many good looking people who cannot get a stable relationship and wonder why. Or wealthy people who are lonely because they are afraid of being used… I don’t blame them. But we have to be fair… did they use their wealth to cover for work also? All these are speculations of course… I am not judging.
Never put people in the position of asking you why you didn’t do it and then you babble some nonsense that everyone can see through clear as day. This tactic gets you nowhere. It never works in the long term and it’s time-tested.. Truth, hard work, integrity, commitment is the way to success for school, family, work, relationships, friendships, projects and all the more so for your spiritual goals.
Look in the mirror and ask yourself what have you achieved. Why do people like you or not like you. Ask yourself and be truthful with answers and applications of solutions. Each time you don’t finish what you promised or been assigned is another five times you have to explain to others why you didn’t do it. So it adds up. If you for example broke your promise 5 times, that would be like 25 explanations. Who would believe you after that? Not to be trusted or believed isolates you. Isolation from lack of respect makes you bitter, lonely and very depressed. You don’t deserve that. No one does. It’s up to you though. And others don’t deserve your broken promises and sad excuses that are easily seen through. Think. This is not to say you are a bad person, but sometimes we do it knowingly or unknowingly..But say you didn’t realize will only work once. Please never let good friends, your teacher, partners, associates slip by because you have no integrity. Money and material items can be earned if lost, human beings cannot. That is golden to remember. Integrity keeps the people you love and that love you around you. Those who tolerate you may not be around forever, then you are alone. You may not be around for long, and is that what you want to leave behind?
Your teacher/superior/peers or whomever may have given you work you agreed to. Or work you promised to do or you are responsible to do… Remember, you agreed to it. So do it. Don’t make them the bad guy when you don’t do what you said.
Whether you are suppose to wipe the kitchen table daily, or do your promised prayers or run a country does not matter. All responsibilities you have undertaken should be done perfectly without misgivings. That is integrity. Why would you want special people who can bless your life and give you wisdom to avoid you because they figure you won’t keep your promise anyways. Why would you want to avoid these special people because you didn’t keep up your promises. Don’t make it a stalemate. Finish what you promised, apologize and don’t do it again. Simple. It can be simple if you choose it. Special people do not come often. Hi and bye friends are limitless. True friends and special people you should never let go.
Good things comes from keeping your responsibilities no matter how difficult. Bad things come from wanting shortcuts that eventually someone else has to pick up the mess for you or cover for you.
After all, what is dharma? Dharma is fighting your bad habits and developing MORE GOOD HABITS AND KEEPING THEM. Integrity is the top of the list for secular and spiritual practice. While you are practicing sutra (Lam Rim) you should develop this before entering the quick path tantra. Tantra’s main crucial necessity is integrity to your vows, teacher, the sangha, practice, meditations, your yidam and all sentient beings. Then the attainments come forth. Without integrity all tantric practice will fail for sure. Your life will fail without integrity.
With integrity you are a winner in whatever you choose. Rich or poor, handsome or not does not matter. You will be loved, respected and sought after. I wish that for you very much. None of this is meant to hurt anyone, but it is my thoughts.
Tsem Rinpoche
必须知道的重要事项
这篇文章对我们的身、心、情感关系、情绪、工作、家庭和灵修上的健康都非常重要。请认真阅读并做深入的思考。这是根据我自己的经验、想法和跟几百个人谈话之后得到的结论。我不是专家，但它可能对你有所帮助。
当我们被指派一些任务时，我们必须找理由去完成它，而不是尽说一些我们“无法”完成它的理由。在生活上，选择性去做或不去做某些事尚算是还可以被接受的缺点，但在修行的道路上，若你已经皈依了，却依然保持这种态度，尤其是若你依然选择性去完成上师指派你的任务的话，那就不是一个好现象了。不尊重佛法任务，就意味着你不尊重你的上师，这是非常显而易见的。如果你连传授你佛法的上师都无法尊重，将来（也许是过去）你势必更难尊重他人，那么你的修行之路就会停滞不前了。
如果你已经是十五岁以上的人，一旦答应了某件事，就应该要全力以赴去完成它，而不需要他人的提醒，也不要找寻任何借口。这个年龄的你，应该已经明白什么是承诺。如果你还需要他人提醒，就表示你不尊重这件事，或根本就不认为它是重要的。如果你的上师认为某些事情是重要的，你却不以为然而不去执行，那就意味着你认为自己懂得比上师多。它意味着你认为自己比上师拥有更多的知识、智慧和佛法。既然如此，你为什么还把这个人视为你的上师呢？即使你不认为如此，你的行动却已经向大家透露了这样的讯息。这不是一个好讯息，也不是好榜样。无论你的佛法任务有多艰巨，你也必须完成它。有时候，基于某些无法控制的因素而延误了工作是无法避免的，但却不能次次都如此。
遵守承诺，能让你成为一个有诚信的人。这种诚信能为你赢得敬重，而他人的敬重则能给你一颗平静的心，因为你知道人们是喜欢你、尊敬你的。每一个人都需要被敬重和受欢迎。没有诚信的人，又如何能受人欢迎呢？缺乏诚信将使你变成愤怒、反复无常和逃避现实的人。你也许会为了保住面子而反驳，但最后你却什么都保不住。答应了某件事而不去完成，你也许可以省下一些努力，然而为了不想让他人发现，你却必须耗费更多的精力来掩盖它。
你也许长得好看，也许富有或擅长以花言巧语来推卸责任，但你认为那些人是真的尊敬你，还是只想要利用你呢？人们也许会因为你长得好看，而给你一些方便，但那也仅限于最初的几次而已。生活就是如此。你也许认为富有能让你免于一些责任，但那也要看你如何去做。如果你把时间用于赚钱的目是为了给予金钱上赞助的话，人们当然能理解你的时间都耗在什么地方，而对你的赞助心存感激，也不会将太多的任务推给你。然而，如果你是因为懒惰，而将金钱当成一个不去努力的替代品的话，你一样不会赢得人们的尊敬。有些财富是靠继承或运气赢来的，你并不曾为它付出任何努力。如果你懂得花言巧语，那也很好，但用它来利人，而不是用来逃避责任。当你这么做的时候，想一想，人们会有些什么反应。你向他们传达究竟是什么样的能量，请想一想，这只有你才知道。我知道有好一些长得很好看的人，却时常纳闷自己为何无法拥有一段稳定的关系。有些富有的人，却很寂寞，因为他们担心被人利用。我不怪他们。然而，我们也要公平些。他们曾经利用财富来逃避责任吗？当然，这一切只是推测，我并不是在审判些什么。
别让别人质问你为何没有完成该完成的任务后，才东拉西扯一些别人一眼就看穿的荒唐理由来为自己开脱。这种做法不能给你带来任何成果，它经不起时间的考验，长久下来是无效的。成功之道是面对实相、努力、诚信和承诺，这对学业、家庭、工作、情感关系、友情和计划等都是一样的，它对达致你的灵修目标尤其重要。
看着镜子，问问自己究竟达致了一些什么成就。为什么人们喜欢或不喜欢你。问自己，诚实地面对答案，并认真地解决问题。你每一次没有兑现承诺，你就必须耗费5倍的精力来向他人解释。这是会累积的。假设你违背了5次承诺，那你就必须解释25次。那之后，还有谁会相信你呢？不被信任，将使你与他人的关系变得疏远。因不受敬重而被疏远，将让你痛苦、孤独和十分忧郁。这不是你应得的。没有人应该得到这种待遇。然而，这一切都取决于你。没有人应该承担你不兑现的承诺，他们也没有必要去接受你那些一眼就被拆穿的借口。想一想。这不是说你是个坏人，但有时候我们在有意无意间就会这么做。然而，以自己是无意的作为理由，只能得到一次性的效果。别因为缺乏诚信，而导致你的好友、上师、伴侣离开你。失去了金钱和物质，我们尚能赚回来，但失去了人们的信任，却不是这样。这是你必须铭记在心的。诚信能让你所爱及爱你的人留在你身边。那些愿意忍受你的人，将不会永远都驻守在你身边，你最终将会变得孤单。你在这里的时间也不会很久，难道这是你想要留下的吗？
你可能答应了你的上师、上级、同事或任何人去完成某些工作，那是你的承诺，或是你的责任所在。记得，既然你已经答应了，就要去完成它。别让自己的不想兑现承诺，而迫使他人成为那个坏人。
无论你的任务是每天清洁厨房、祈祷或领导一个国家，那都不是重点。重要的是，你必须准确无误地去实践自己的责任。这就是诚信。对于一个能够为你的生命带来加持和给予你智慧的人，你为何要让自己的不遵守承诺，成为让他避开你的原因呢？你为什么要因为自己的不遵守承诺，而去逃避这位特别的人呢？别让这成为僵局。完成你所该做的，道歉，然后不再重犯。就是这么简单而已。你若选择这么做，它其实可以很简单。特别的人并不会时常出现。泛泛之交却比比皆是。你绝对不要放弃真正的朋友和特别的人。
好运来自无论任务有多艰巨，你都会完成它。如果你一心只想找捷径，导致人们最后必须为你收拾烂摊子，只会导致你坏事临门。
毕竟，何谓佛法？ 佛法就是要你克服坏习惯，培养更多的好习惯，并坚持下去。无论在世俗或灵修上，诚信都是最重要的。在修持密续这个快速法门之前，你就必须在做显教修持（菩提道次第）的时候就开始培养这些习惯。修持密续时，最重要的是要对你的戒律、上师、僧众、修持、禅修、本尊及一切众生有诚信。这样一来，你就会有所成就。没有诚信，你的密续修持将一无所成。同样的，缺乏诚信也会使你在生命中一无所成。
拥有诚信，能让你无论选择做什么，都会是胜者。富有与否或英俊与否并不重要。你将会被爱戴、尊敬和广受欢迎。我希望你能有这么一天。以上所说的每一句话，并不是为了伤害任何人，只不过是我的一些想法。
詹仁波切
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Make living our life with absolute integrity and kindness will be our first priority. Keep our word, commitments and always take responsibility for what we are given the task or work. Working in a circle of openness and honesty. We have to be true to the very best in ourselves. Integrity is a value, like persistence, courage, and intelligence. I do believe ,it is our choice of values and resolution to live by those values that form our character and personality. Having integrity, honest and truthful in every part of our life so as to ensure our success and happiness. By helping others, we help them to feel good about themselves, and we are also helping yourself by creating a healthy new relationship. When we you gain integrity, we gain respect and we gain trust .
Thank you Rinpoche for this teaching.
Integrity is very important in life.Integrity is choosing your thoughts and actions based on values rather than personal gain. We live our lives with intergrity for our spiritual growth ,to be happy in life without stressful and is the key to every success and happiness.
We have to always remind ourselves , to be a better person, with integrity
When we keep our commitments and promises, we gain integrity and we shall have the respect and trust of the people around us then
Thank you Rinpoche for these profound teachings .
As I read this article, three scenario came to my mind:
1. We do not live or work alone, whether secularly or spiritually. When we do not carry out our part, it is irresponsible because deep inside we expect others to do the job for us. When the job gets overwhelming because of our wrong view, it is easy to quit, drop the job, say ‘no’, walk away and pretend it is other people’s fault. Sometimes the person who has been helping us get the blame because we use our wrong view to judge. As a result, we are ungrateful even when there was no such intent. In the end, we never learn how to do it because it is always someone else who is doing it.
2. We may feel that finding money is more important, because with money, we can sponsor the centre, sponsor the Dharma project, And due to our generosity, we expect to be sheltered from responsibility that we don’t like to do. Only we know ourselves whether our intention is out of pure generosity and void of the eight worldly concerns. It is true that money can buy us comfort and convenience, but there are not many lifetimes that we can sustain with good rebirths. Eventually we will have to face the same situation perhaps in a harsher condition.
3. And when we finally do our job, we do it with resentment, completing it for the sake of avoiding criticism, we are robbing others who are keen & passionate of the opportunity to do it. We are also irresponsible and sneaky to say the least. Imagine if each lama tasked to pass down Buddha’s Dharma decided to do it with resentment? What knowledge will we have today? Imagine if every mother decided to bring up their children in this manner, what will become of us?
Since we have these negative traits, we must try our best to correct it in this lifetime, so that it does not stick with us in our future lifes. When we are ignorant of our own negative traits, and other point out to us, don’t quit and run away. We are habituated with negative traits from many lifetimes, the learning, unlearning, relearning, reminding and continuous practicing is necessary for us to transform.
Thank you Rinpoche for this impactful teaching. Thank you Cindy for sharing this on FB.
Humbly, bowing down,
Stella Cheang
[…] This is important to know for your life […]
I thought this was an inspirational story on integrity and pushing yourself for others. This man promised his dying friend he would run a 100 marathons in a 100 days to raise money for the hospice his friend died at. He kept his promise and completed this amazing challenge overcoming all obstacles like the injuries he received. He said one of his driving forces was the fear of letting anyone down. What a great man.
http://www.itv.com/thismorning/life/kellys-heroes-marathon-man-matthew-loddy/
Dear Rinpoche
Integrity is very important. Promise is a must to accomplish.
When we made a promise to people we must fulfilled it and not giving excuse.
Thank you for sharing this teaching dear Tsem Rinpoche.
As a child when we are growing up, we look up to the parents… If our own parents are forgetful, do things half past five, messy.. we tend to learn from that and think it is okay to be like that. As we get older, stepping into the society only we know that we can not be sloppy anymore… and it is kinda hard coz we lived our 15 years or so thinking that it was alright.
When I was studying aboard, i finally got a taste of what it is like to be independent. You work for your own pocket money, you clean your dishes, you take care of yourself when you’re sick, you watch your own time, you remind yourself of your own assignment due date, you do your own laundry, if any of the above fails, IT IS YOUR OWN DOING. What do we do? Blame our parents when things fall apart because they can’t fly in in time? I learn so much, simply because I want to be a responsible person in this world. A promise is a promise, after all we are not stupid to distinguish what is good and what is bad for ourselves… Most of the time, we are just lazy and want to stay in our comfort zone. When challenged, we justified ourselves with all the BUTs and Whys…
Now under the guidance of Rinpoche, I have learned so much more. Things that they don’t teach you in school and society. I am still learning and practising. I am not perfect, i am not the best; but I always know there is always room for improvement in oneself. So why not add another subject “spirituality” in your life? That’s how I think. Another wonderful teachings from Rinpoche. Please share it with your friends.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you very much for the sharing.I do believe that integrity is very important.This is how we can gain trust and respect from the people we associate with.Most of the time ,we make empty promise to escape from a situation or to look good at that point of time and very often the broken promise will catch up with us in time with disepointment.Many a time I dare not committ on something which I could not deliver , this could be a easy way out of not committing to a promise that the others had faith in me to fulfill.I will make and effort to change.Thank you very much for this timely reminder on life and commitment.
Sorry quite late to post a comment,
thank you Rinpoche you are one of the best guru….
It is quite hard to accept sometimes when our guru,even pastor as well as their teaching touch our hidden FAULT.
But we can be less imperfect only when someone especially our guru/teacher see our fault as well as their teaching….
Thank you very much Tsem Rinpoche for sharing this meaningful topic with us(‘u’)
Since integrity are so importance on our spritual path practice,I should change my attitude to deliver what I promise. thanks
Thank you Rinpoche Sharing ,
I like this statement as following :
‘What is dharma? Dharma is fighting your bad habits and developing MORE GOOD HABITS AND KEEPING THEM. Integrity is the top of the list for secular and spiritual practice.’
I am agreed that we need to have integrity in our life, for everything we have promised in our life. Finding reasons to explain why we can’t achieve out of laziness is a waste of time.
I would like thank you Rinpoche for writing your thoughts which reflects our laziness and bad habits in term of dharma work and our current life.
we need to maintain integrity in our work and our life. yet sometime we are sneaky to “try our best” to maintain and easily let go when facing some circumstances. yet we did not regret what we did yet we comfort ourself ” i m not doing wrong” .this blog have remind us again how important to maintain the integrity in our life and the impact on our spiritually path. if we don’t think it seriously, what value we can pass to our children? How we can attract people to dharma ?This is need to be put in priority in our life. Tq
信守承诺，无疑是迈向成功的不二法门。无论是佛法，家庭，事业，生活如果都能做到负起责任，信守承诺，这就必定能够达到成功，圆满的人生。虽然，有时会因为要信守承诺需要做出一些牺牲与改变，但是请你相信你的上师，只要你能坚持到底，成功的果实是甜美的。
Thank you Rinpoche for giving this profound teaching and i’ll read it again and again and must remember what Rinpoche mentioned in this post and put into daily practice “Dharma is fighting your bad habits and developing MORE GOOD HABITS AND KEEPING THEM.” Integrity is very important in one’s life and is the key to every success.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thanks for sharing your experience and thoughts,
we should stick to our Commitment and our promise,we gain respect from what we do,because we take responsibility for what we said and promise,we need to have integrity in our life,Having integrity is a key to success in live,our laziness is a waste of time.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thanks for the sharing.
Dear Rinpoche, Thank you for your most wise and profound teaching on integrity . Keeping promises , fulfilling responsibilities and holding onto vows are so important in one’s growth at all levels, especially in one’s spiritual development . By keeping one’s promises , not only does one have respect from others but more importantly , have self worth and the fact that no one was disappointed and hence feel less guilt ridden. I was let down , disappointed so many times by unfiullfilled promises that i kmow how it feels and i made a promise to myself that i will never hurt another by not keeping to my promises and commitments . All the more so, if i promise to do as assigned by Rinpoche , i must keep to that promise . At the end of the day, it’s for our own growth and development in being a better person and in our practice of the Dharma .
Thank you Rinpoche for this enlightening reminder .
प्यारो गुरु रिम्पोचे नमस्कार,
मलाई तपाईको प्रबचन धरै राम्रो लाग्यो । हामी आफ्नो कर्तब्य सधै पुरा गर्नु पर्छ ।जब हामी बाहिर धर्म को कुरा गर्छौ तेसै गरि भित्रि मनबाट
पनि कुनै खोट नराखी गर्नु पर्छ । हामीमा सहन सक्ने क्षमत हुनुपर्छ अनि रिसलाई सन्त पार्न सक्नु पर्छ। हामीले जसरि गुरु मान्छौ
तेसै गरि गुरुको शिक्षा पनि पूर्ण रुपले पालना गर्नुपर्छ र हामीले घमण्ड ,रिस ,डाहा,लोभ हटाउनु पर्छ ।हामीले बुद्ध जस्तै बन्न अनुशासन ,
उद्धार ,दया ,माया,अहिंशा , सहयोगी पन , मन बाट उत्पन्न गराउनु पर्छ । गुरुले दिएको कुनै पनि काम खुसि साथ गर्नु पर्छ ।
म यो गर्न सक्दिन, यो गर्न गारो छ, यो हुन सक्दैन भनेर पछि हट्नु हुदैन । गुरुले यो प्रबचनमा धरै शिक्षा दिनु भएको छ
मैले छोटो रुपमा आफ्नै नेपाली शब्दमा लेखेकी छु । अनिता पौडेल
“fighting bad habits and developing more good habits and keeping them”…. This is exactly what I’m gonna do from now on!
When given a whatever assignment. i see that it is a life responsibility already. So there’s no reason not to complete it. is it true rinpoche?
Thank you Rinpoche for this precious teaching.
I’ve watched Rinpoche’s video talk on integrity many times… and when I read this post, I couldn’t help but felt I have burdened my Guru once again… to remind me on integrity… Something that should have already been in me.
Integrity and responsibility is embedded in my mind… this is one teaching that I would read constantly because I want to advance spiritually.
Thank you for all the precious teachings….Integrity is truly important in doing our work well or in any relationship.I have make most of the mistakes mentioned above before and realised that without integrity it can cause alot of chaos in my life.Sometimes it is very hard to make others trust us again…Always remember that opportunity don”t always knock on our door twice.If given any tasks to do,just grab the chance and do it whole heartedly…A friend just lied to me recently and the reason is she just wanted something for her personal gain.To cover up the mistakes just to save face… so sad..Is it worth losing the trust?Now i have to think twice of everything that this friend says or do.Another lesson well learned and make sure to apply integrity.
Thank You for teaching about integrity..
Thank you Rinpoche for your precious teachings.
Whether it is an assignment from Guru or a job given to us by our superior, it must never be a burden to complete. We must always have integrity in all that we do. Earn the respect.
Leaving a task right until the last minute will only see us making more mistakes in our rush to meet the deadline.
namaste dear rinpoche,
I like so much this teaching .we need to do with out excuse.
we need to do what supposed to do.we cant broken our promiss.
Keeping promises is important to ourself and others.Broken promises only leads to much hurts and disappointments.Thank you Rinpoche for this important message.
Keeping promises is important to ourself and others.Broken promises only leads to much hurts and disappointments.Thank you Rinpoche for this important message.
Thank you Rinpoche for this timely reminder , especially when we are about to embark on our exciting KFR project. The part where you said that Dharma is about fighting our bad habits and developing more good habits and KEEPING them , really struck a chord in me. I for one has been struggling to do precisely that. Sometimes I try to cheat myself into believing that I am just fine , now that I am doing what little dharma work I can. But in reality I was running away from the fact that I am not really a nice person to the people I love , my family. After reading what you wrote made me realise that I still take my loved ones for granted by not keeping my promises to them. Simply because I am doing dharma work or some charity doesnt mean I should neglect them or push my responsibilty to them just because I am “collecting merits” .
Yes , charity should begin at home too, what is the point if we look good and smell good on the outside when we are rotten on the inside. Thank you rinpoche.
Thank you Rinpoche on this precious sharing.This sharing is easy and simple to understand yet due to our attachment, laziness and weak mind, we make it difficult and giving excuses for not apply it to our daily life.
I used to wonder and question about Kechara’s project and goal when i first joined. But after learning more Dharma and guidance from managers and colleague, i will think and contemplate the possibilities of the Dharma work method, solution and results.
Rinpoche’s biography book “The Promise” is a perfect example that from his strong guru devotion, he keep his promise to publish the book as his guru felt that Rinpoche’s life story will inspire and benefit many.
Thank you Rinpoche for the teaching and sharing this. This is very important and will remind us on our own responsibilities that what we promises with integrity and honestly. With dharma knowledge people improved, it depends on how much effort we sincerely put in. I will do my best to keep what I promises.
佛法就是克服坏习惯，培养更多好习惯和提升智慧。
诚信和承诺就是比金钱来的重要。
例如：
如果去相信风水命理不如去完成你的承诺。
如果和人去比较富有，不如去提升自己的智慧（智慧就是财富）
逃避不如去面对现实。
每天你都选择享受你的生命或是憎恨它，这是唯一一件真正属于你的权利，没有人能够控制或夺去的东西，就是你的态度。
如果你能时时注意到这个事实，你生命中的其他事情就会变得容易。
感谢我的上帅用心。
我赞同你的看法，佛法是让我们转化成一位更棒的人。完成承诺，就是其中一个先有原则。
谢谢仁波切把佛法简易，让我们可以实践。
诚信， 说起来容易， 做起来不简单。仁波切把它简化成“必须准确无误地去实践自己的责任”， 这让我想到必须顾虑没有遵守承诺后带给他人的麻烦， 提醒自己要尽力而为， 要不然就其实是在逃避责任。
同意仁波切的说法， 佛法不是研读哲理， 而是实践于克服坏习惯， 大家一起努力！
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this very meaningful teaching,this is very important teaching for us to improve ourselves to be a better person.It is realy a great reminder to us that we never break the promise,never give up no matter facing what situation,integrity is the key of success and respect,we must cultivate this value in our lives! I promise i will pratice it and apply it to my own !!
For my fellow french-speakers, this article has been translated here: http://tenzindamey.wordpress.com/2012/04/24/une-realisation-vitale-de-tsem-tulku-rinpoche/#comment-58
Thank Rinpoche for the teaching and remind for our ignorance mind, however by say we want to transform now is very easy but when we follow the path to do it is not that easy. But through Dharma i notice that if we do more Protector Practice sure we will be a better person faster with a smoothly path. Thanks Guru once again for sharing this article with fold hand _/\_
[…] http://blog.tsemtulku.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/inspiration-worthy-words/this-is-important-to-know-for… […]
Keeping what we have promise and deliver is one of the way to earn respect and trust. So that we don’t burden others to remind us or eventually do our job. It is not nice at all to leave that kind of impression of ourself to others. Thank you Rinpoche.
Having integrity is the practical aspect of keeping our precepts of NO LYING.It is of utmost importance for our spiritual path and mundane work. To commit to a task makes me stressful sometimes, but, I feel much more depressed and disappointed when I cannot accomplish my promise. It is not only losing respect of the others,but self integrity. As Dharma practice is such precious jewel in every lifetime, I pray to have more commitment to it than to my worldly responsibilites.
Without integrity, everything else is useless because of all the walls we built around us from covering one lie after another. Hiding and giving excuses because we don’t care how we hurt people who care about us. I know because I was hurt tremendously with broken promises by someone I loved very much.
I love the line “Dharma is fighting your bad habits and developing MORE GOOD HABITS AND KEEPING THEM”. This will show how much we have benefited from the teachings that our Guru make us contemplate on and be better. Integrity is one of the fundamental attitude we MUST HAVE whether in samsara or Dharma!
Whether it’s a promise to friends, family or Guru, it must always be IMPORTANT! I will always do my best in everything I am given.
Thank you Rinpoche for such a wonderful post and reminding us how important it is to always better our ignorant mind!
Integrity is so important in every facets of our life. Without integrity, no one will rely or trust us anymore. It is the truth that many know but failed to realize.
It is very hard (if not impossible) to rebuild our integrity once it is lost. Much time would have been wasted in our effort to re-establish ourselves. Even if we have attempted to rebuild our integrity, we may not regain the confidence others had in us before. Those who trusted us before will not have complete faith in us as we have constantly failed them. There will always be an element of mistrust in our character or ability to deliver. It is easy to remember a single fault or mistake of someone than all the good things that someone had done. That is how the World operates now.
Why do others have to waste their time to accept us again? No, they have no obligation to do that when there are others who are completely reliable to depend on! If others do accept us again, it can only be their compassion for us!
There are already so many obstacles in our life. If we lose our integrity, our life becomes insurmountable and harder to live. We will have fewest friends and people who would want to be associated with us at all. We will have no dependable partners, friends, associates to be with as we have had created so many causes in the past to not have them.
Without protecting our integrity, we are doomed to fail in life miserably. We will be left on our own to fend for ourselves in the end.
Thank You Rinpoche for this invaluable teaching on integrity.
I always gave a talk to customers, when we make a promise to others, we must do it.. Even a single small thing or a matter. We will gain a trust and respect from others. ( Before i gave a talk to customers, i will practice it and apply it own my own first )
Best Regards : Erickksiow
Thanks Rinpoche for the teaching. 🙂
Thanks for sharing.. its nice~
Many a times I find myself in similar situation like this. In the office & at home, depending on purpose & occasion, my responsibility & role is continuously changing all the time. I always try to arrange the tasks that I have been assigned to do based on their importance & priority in order to schedule my time working towards the goals. Sometimes I do miss the dateline or the goals but it is a lesson from me to learn from rather than complaint about. I think everyone wants respect but some may not realize that they have to earn it. When we have integrity, we will do things as we have promised, try our very best to do it diligently. In the end, you will gain the respect you want because of your integrity.
Dear Rinpoche, It seems to me that you have spoken all that is in me and in my heart. You I really feel so trapped that in my situation and I want to commit and I commit and yet I fear I am not able to perform and I fear to let others down and I am fear of failing to perform to expectations. I get your message after reading it again. Thank you Tsem Rinpoche. It seems that is really for me.
Everything that we seriously do need now are the raw materials necessary to produce the result of a fully awakened mind, as one famous Lama has indicated. It is as what our Rinpoche has pointed out, are what we have failed to do, or required to suceed! After all, Dharma is fighting your bad habits and develope more good habits and keeping them with top integrity, practice and seriousness. Without them our whole life fails, irrespective of what and who we are! It has been proven that honest hard work, commitments and integrity is the only way to success for our spiritual Goal!!! Thank you Rinpoche, once again for your ever deep constant care and kind concern for all your students and friends welfare.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful teaching Rinpoche.
It’s very true that integrity is the most important virtue we should have as a person. I’m confident this formula is 100% correct because I experience it.
Some personal sharing, I have come out with a lot of stories before to covered something that I couldn’t fulfill after I promised someone, I need to think the most “logical” answer to calm the other party down, after he/she found out I didn’t fulfill my promise. This might works once or twice but one day we will step on our own tail.
Actually by covering our own mistake that caused by selfish reason is very tiring and it will never be as easy if we just finish our job well. It’s really shame to face someone who trust us, but in the end we just let them down, disappointment in their eyes is unbearable.
But if we choose to use the same effort to fulfill our promise with integrity we will get all the respect, love, care, confidence or more. I would definitely choose to be surrounded by love, care, and respect.
Thanks Rinpoche again
Bryan
OMG I totally agree with you there. It’s just damn tiring trying to cover the mistakes. Some more, I’m really not clever enough to remember what stories I told before and keep up the story heh heh
Integrity is important. Promise is a must to accomplish. When we promise and we dont do it, at the end it will become more and more difficult and we still have to pass through and complete it. What is the difference to do it now or leave it in future to complete. Integrity is the key of success & respect.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thanks for sharing this precious teaching. Integrity to me, is honesty and sincerity in doing anything in life irregardless of age.
As for parents, if we sincerely love our children, we will always teach them to be honest all the times from young, so that they will remember and keep this good quality which can help and protect them in life. Noboby likes to be dissappointed by broken promises especially children. It really hurts, sad and create disbelief in them.
It is not about how old or mature we are, it is about our attitude in doing things. We tend to be selective in choosing things we like to do and breaking commitments and/or delays for things we dislike to do.
By keeping our commitments and promises, we have no fear of facing all the covered up consequences. Also it is a sense of responsibility of taken up what has been promised and not letting others to do our unfinished tasks. If we need others to remind us all the times, it clearly show that we are so irresponsible and wasting not only your time but others’ precious time of chasing after you.
If we hind away all the times, we will only regret at the end of not doing anything accomplished in life and spiritually. We have no time left for us to achieve anything good that will bring memories in your life and others’ people lives.
Integrity makes people trust and reliable on us also feel relieve to assign any important tasks to us. You create a pleasant relationship with others and will leave good memories in the heart of others now and forever. People like to be around or close to you and not avoiding you because of your trustworthy. Broken commitments will only make people that love and help you in life away from you.
In order to train in higher practices, we start to train ourselves by doing all good things and abandoning bad habits because ultimately we benefit the most.
Sincerely, Jan
Dear Rinpoche,
From your article, I have learnt that one must not be selective of assignments given to us. We must take on the assignment and complete it without any further reminder. I believe most of the time we be selective out of our ignorant and deluded mind of our idea of what is good or bad. So really, now I must have full trust in my teacher that whatever task that is given to me should be done with a joyous and happy heart. When we complete our work without reminder, we will then earn the respect of our co-worker and department head. Rinpoche, thank you so much for this teaching that we can apply not only in our spiritual path but also in our secular work.
This is a timely message, Integrity. It encompasses everything we like others to do for us, but do we do it ourselves for others? Life is already a struggle for many with daily obstacles popping up unexpectedly interrupting us. If we keep to our words to commitment we agreed on, that becomes a promise not to be broken. But if its broken, it has to be mended and not repeat the same mistake again. Having integrity breeds reliability and trust. Some have to learn how to have it, some have to be reminded of it including myself, some need to seek it for themselves to sail smoothly through all lives. These are my thoughts.
Thank you, Rinpoche for the reminder.
Dear Rinpoche,
Having integrity is accomplishing what we had promised to do. Whenever we made a promise, there’s an expectation from the person we promised to. Not only disappointment but we could possibly mess up many things behind the scene, or lead to something else that could not be done due to we do not accomplishing what we had promised to do.
This is extremely important for our spiritual practice, especially for our guru’s assignments. No matter how small or simple it is, how many times it has been repeated, it does not matter. What matter is to respect and care for the reasons behind it for us to carry it out. It is the sincerity that we have toward serving our guru.
It is the basic quality a person should have but it has been long forgotten. I think when we do everything with our heart, with sincerity, with a good motivation, thing does come along in the right way.
谢谢你，尊贵的仁波切，看了这篇开示让我想起了我已往生的爸爸，那已经是三十年前的事了。但是一直到现在，每逢我遇见我爸爸的朋友谈到他时，他们都会说我爸爸是个好人，有诚信，讲义气的人。这让我非常的以他为豪，他一直也是我心目中的好榜样。。。 还有，我很相信的一句话： 用心 就是专业 。。遇到任何难题和障碍，有用心的去面对它，就不会有逃避‘推卸责任和放弃的念头。。。还有，做事对别人就要好像对自己一样，你就会交个好的成绩给别人。 一直以来，仁波切的开示和教诲让我在佛法的道路上明白了好多好多的人生道理， 尊贵的仁波切。。。谢谢你
yeo,看了你写关于父亲的那部分，有些感动。事实上，要赢得他人的尊重就是那么简单：诚信！言出必行！
你父亲是个好榜样，他让你自豪，也影响了你。如果你能像他一样，你也一定会对别人的生命造成影响。这种影响力是不容小视的，像细胞分裂，一分二，二分四，四分八……简单的二进制分裂，让一个受精卵在短短的280天内就发育为人，不可谓不壮观。
仁波切常说，若想要改变身边的人，我们就一定要先改变自己。我想就是这个道理，我们必须让自己成为那个带头分裂的细胞。如果每个人都能做好本分，那么这个世界必然就会是更美好的。
It is a simple but yet very important teaching from Rinpoche, I thank Rinpoche for this. I always feel very bad and uneasy when something I promised and did not do more and more so nowadays, I feel obligated to do what I have promised.
Having to cover and make lies to defend and cover our broken commitments makes us feel so cheap, regretful and shameful (even when nobody noticed you actually made it up) when people find out. It is never a good feeling to sum it all.
And by simply holding integrity which is one of the recipe for being a successful person makes us feel proud of ourselves that we have kept our promise and did not disappoint someone even over a small/simple matter.
And by just keeping your promise, you have integrity and this makes people respects you. Breathtakingly simple!
You think this much at 5am?? WOW!
Keeping promises to someone is very important in all our aspect of life at the worldly world and spiritual side. Having integrity not just can get trust and respect for people. The important thing can uplift your spiritual side to higher, so you able to hold your vows and commitment to your lama.From that, we able to do more serve others and close to them. Imagine without integrity, that is no people can be trusted in this world except your lama.
Thank you Rinpoche has kindly post this article to shared it many of us. It benefit us a lot.
Dear H.E Tsem Tulku Rinpoche,
This article of yours really hits me right on.
First of all, I must confess, all my “Good Qualities” in me, to you…
1)”you agree to something you should do it all the way without any reminders and excuses.” – REMINDERS is something that I can’t live without !!! I think Pastor Yek Yee knows well about this “Good Quality” of mine.
2)”From keeping your commitments/promises, you gain integrity. From integrity, you gain respect.” – I am having a hard time trying to achieve this after all these years but in vain.
3)”But if wealth is a substitute because you’re lazy and you cover for it by paying for things, that would not earn respect either. There is wealth that is inherited or by chance and you didn’t have to work for it” – This is one of those oldest tricks in my book. Pay and get the job done. That is life, easy, right??
4)”Look in the mirror and ask yourself what have you achieved.” – sometimes…in one fine hour…one fine minute and one fine second, this statement did crossed my mind but I just can’t figure it out what have I achieved so far that I can really shout about. Hey, I think,I am not that bad after all, I have achieved to acquire a very fine skill…..The Skill of Covering Up, since I have all those “GOOD QUALITIES” stated above 🙂
To be honest, I have change from bad to moderately good, since the first day I have step foot in to Kechara and also by going through many of your teachings in Youtube but when I look around me,I know, all these “GOOD QUALITIES” of mine just doesn’t want to leave me alone and they are all around me, just like brothers and sisters.
To be fair to all concerned, there is nothing wrong with your teachings and I can shout it out loud by saying ” I Am Lovin’ It ” but I do know, there is something very wrong within me.
My Dear Guru, Please guide this poor and empty soul of mine.
Regards.
Having integrity can actually be very simple. Just do what we promise to do. And if we are not prepared to keep our promise, then why make it? Usually when we do not or fail to meet our responsibilities and keep our word, it is a sure sign that things are not alright in our lives.
If we say something and fail to do it then either we become very uncomfortable with ourselves and over time we start to dislike ourselves or we develop a seared conscience and start to become detached even further from that sense of nobility in us. Either way we lose.
I have not always lived my life properly and when I learned the great importance of keeping a promise, a lot of people already became affected by my lack of integrity. Going back to make amends and mending broken promises is so much harder, and often the damage is irreversible. Still, it is important to retrace the path where we mortgaged our integrity in exchange for pride or laziness, and redeem it no matter what our tricky mind tells us.
It would have so much easier and beneficial to just keep a promise from the start, no matter how hard it may be to do so.
Integrity is a good habit we can cultivate and it applies from the smallest thing such as saying we will return a phone call to fulfilling a significant task charged to us. It is good to know how having integrity can actually prepares us for higher spiritual training even as it protects us from degeneration of our values.
I agree that integrity gains trust, which is very important in all the things that we do. Opportunities lessen and nothing gets done when we do not honour our words.
I never really know the true meaning of integrity until very recently. Sometimes I make promises just to solve the problem temporarily and did not realise the importance in delivering it. Failing to deliver has caused other people to lose their trust in me and ends up damaging relationships – family, friends and colleagues alike.
Integrity has been an important part of my training since joining Dharma. Thank you for sharing your wonderful thoughts Rinpoche.
When reading this blog post, I can only think of the many times promises were broken by myself and by people I thought would never disappoint me…
Rinpoche, your teaching here is so kind and filled with deep compassion. I have met many people who have integrity and determination but how Rinpoche is with us, constantly teaching us and reminding us of the potential best in all of us, is the ultimate example of holding Promises and integrity.
When I sit here writing my thoughts, I reflect on the many times in my life when I felt great and when I felt lousy. The times when I felt good about myself were the moments when I did something good for someone, fulfilled my day’s assignments, achieved the results I was aiming for, someone told me I made a difference to their life, someone complimented me for a virtue I showed – I honored my promises. On the times when I felt lousy were simple – I felt bad because I was justifying why I did not do what I wanted to do. The worst moments were when I had disappointed someone by being dishonorable. In short, my own history tells me how I should be. Uphold my promises and gain respect through integrity. More importantly, I must uphold my self-respect which is from honesty to myself. You can lie and cheat others but you can never run away from yourself. The mirror tells no lies. And conscience is a very accurate indicator to measure how you are performing in life.
With folded hands, love and respect, THANK YOU Rinpoche for accepting me as your student. And giving me so many opportunities in my Dharma career to shine and be a magnificent person.
My dearest Rinpoche… It always seems easier to let a promise slide and create a situation whereby I play the victim and cover the non performance than giving myself that extra push.
Reading this post and some comments (especially by Paris), I have come to realize why I am on such a slippery slope and everything I do does not seem right to me and everywhere I turn there is a wall or a cavernous drop. I created this reality for myself from a simple broken promise. WOW… This is indeed profound and is hitting me like a 10 ton truck and what is really scary is my so called intellect is still debating the validity of my observation as I type this!
Talk about wrong views!
I am often told I tap dance (coined perfectly by Rinpoche) with my words and I used to get very defensive inwardly as I did not believe I was. I now see why Rinpoche keeps pushing that button of mine as it is through my eloquence (at least I would like to think so!) that i HIDE and DEFLECT.
When people close to me in my past have hurt and broken their promises to me (as I am sure everyone has in their past) I always made excuses for them and moved on. I guess I never dealt with it and have kept a huge chip on my shoulder! What a very loving Dharma sister told a couple of months ago makes a lot of sense now. I am passively aggressive. My aggression is really through not saying much, internalizing it and making excuses inside my head… to make things better (so I think).
And what actually happens is when things get really ‘depressive’ I literally SHUT DOWN and I do not deal with it or actually just sink into a “everybody is out to get me mode” and that is when my inner aggression manifest as wrong views (seething anger, doubt, hurt, pain and physical sickness).
I know one cannot literally change overnight but I know I can fulfill my promises with immediate effect. I cannot change my past or how people view me now but I can surely pave a much better future for myself and others in being a truthful person with integrity and I trust everything else will fall into place.
Hung up the tap dancing shoes for good… I am so sorry for all the hurt I have caused Rinpoche and everyone through my arrogance in thinking I know myself better or that I deserve better.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing a most profound teaching to such a stubborn and thick headed student such as myself!
With folded hands and much humility and much love… Andrew
Thank you, Rinpoche, for this profound teaching on Integrity which is a vital quality in the secular world , but more importantly when one is on the spiritual path.
INtegrity is manifested in the way we keep our promises and commitments and ,at a higher level, our vows.When we have integrity it shows we have the best of human qualities of respect, care and love for others, including those who truly love us and those special people like our Spiritual Guide who only wants us to transform and progress on the spiritual path for our best benefit.
Integrity earns us respect and love. When we choose not to have integrity, it is equivalent to choosing to tread the ‘black path'(in the Karma Chart that Rinpoche gave us) to pain and suffering and regret at point of death.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you for sharing the post.
The formula here is simple yet it could not be achieve if we are not fulfill our promises which lead to not gain other respect either.
Don’t keep our promises and complete assignments drag us fail and down and seem to be like domino that happen continuously as we lost self-esteem and create a bad habitual from that. To break off from this bad habitual cycle is not easy but with the strong mind that want to achieve, it can be success. And once it success one, it will be easy to have second, third and the following. And this is i’m working on.
Rinpoche’s post also remind me of someone whom shared with me a few years back that she promised her father that she will call him on Sunday, unfortunately she was busy with something and totally forgot about it and she told me that it might look so small as she can make a phone call the next day and her father definitely would not upset with her but the importance point is she has broken her promise to her father which she felt guilt of it and she doesn’t want it to happen again.. It remind me that the promise must be fulfil no matter it look big or small for us.
Dear Rinpoche
I’ve learnt my lesson for not completing assignment till the end and it has dampen on my confidence very much then. Took me a long time to build the confidence, trust and integrity back. This is to say once we loose that, we would take much more time and energy to build the confidence, trust and integrity back. Those ‘building time’ could actually be used productively on other assignments that can help organisation and many people. How foolish I was due to low self esteem and ego.
Whatever assignments Rinpoche gives is actually to rehabituate our mind to be someone better whom we have not been or have ran away from all be it in this present or previous lives. One thing for sure, I have also learnt that once we are engaged in any assignment given, just do it. We may not know the know how nor the experience to do it we can get the various supports for help and learn from there even we encounter problems and mistakes. As long as our motivation is sincere in any particular project/assignment to benefit others, all difficult tasks will become easier.
These are my thoughts which I would like to share with others from what the little things that I have done and learnt for past years (I may be slow, I am growing) and am very grateful to Rinpoche and Henry Ooi for their unconditional love, care and guidance they have very patiently given.
Time to grow up friends. We are not kids anymore!
With Love..May
Many people come to Dharma expecting everyone to treat them nice and like a VIP. That is a wrong attitude from the start. But in Dharma we cannot reject anyone because one way or another, we all have problems of our own, so who are we to judge?
If we cannot stand the attitude of just ONE person, do you then know how many people Rinpoche has to deal with every day? But He never gives up, never gave up a single person in fact. Whatever Rinpoche says, He has a reason for it and it is for our benefit, not His. He is more than willing to take in all our sufferings.
My point, how can we let down a person who cares so much for us? After everything that he has done for us, we let him down again and again. Whatever assignments Rinpoche gives, it is definitely for our own good. We may not be able to see it instantly but Rinpoche has proven time after time His words are true. and we should be fortunate that Rinpoche is giving us assignments. Do you know how much merits you are gaining by working directly with your Guru? How much of our negative karma are being purified!
DO NOT MISS THE OPPORTUNITY!
I was saddened at times when people (especially those people that you care & love the most) failed to keep their promises. They will have all sorts of excuses to cover up the broken promises.
Promises are like a test of your devotion and loyalty. If someone breaks their promises, then you will know they may not be a trustworthy person. It is also a test to ourselves to see if we can forgive the person who broke the said promises.
Thank you Rinpoche for the precious teaching.
Integrity… is not a alien word for anyone, regardless one is a Buddhist or non-Buddhist. I have been to self development and experiential training and paying thousand of Ringgit for it and integrity is still one of the few key points that i learned.
Integrity is impacting us in all aspects of our life, relationship, work, family and when I am in Kechara, i learn it is especially important in spiritual too!! Rinpoche has said it in such a a simple way, from keeping commitment and promises –> integrity –> respect. We all want respect from others as it makes us feel that we are worthy and thus when we have respect, we are happier too. it is so true that when we do not keep to our promises, we have to waste more energy to explain, to justify and this increases our stress level too. So, regardless it is big or small, we might as well surrender to it and just keep to what we have promised.
What i am learning to do now is not to be selective in keeping promises. Regardless it is big or small, easy or difficult, like or do not like to do, especially when it is an instruction from Guru, a promise is a promise and that’s important for me to follow. I must admit that i am still not 100% keeping all my promises due to laziness and ignorance and my bad habits. I am working towards it and working hard to make sure I am better than previous day. It is so true that “Dharma is fighting your bad habits and developing MORE GOOD HABITS AND KEEPING THEM”. I just have to do it repeatedly and create more positive causes to make integrity inseparably from me forever!
Thank you again Rinpoche for tirelessly showing us the way. With folded hand, wei theng.
Dear Rinpoche, Thank you for constantly showing and guiding me to be a better person. Yes integrity is very important. Keeping promises is very important. I have my downfalls on keeping promises in my pass but with Dharma knowledge I have lessen on breaking my promises over the pass years. I will read the above over and over again to remind me too improve.
Integrity is very important and we should always cultivate this value in our lives 🙂
I have had the extremely precious opportunity to receive several individual teachings from Rinpoche about the importance of promises, and how very very much they are connected to higher, tantric practices. Rinpoche isn’t giving us these teachings just to tell us to “do our work” or keep a promise for the sake of it. It has much, much deeper consequences and creates tremendous (positive) karmic causes for us to excel in many other ways.
Rinpoche explained this to me: when we don’t keep our promises and then we lie or cover up and conceal what we haven’t done, we create the causes to develop wrong, distorted views about what is really going on around us. We become confused or we blank out when we are taught good things – like Dharma, or any other spiritual teachings. We begin to like and be attracted to negative thoughts and negative teachings. We develop a very warped and twisted way of looking at the world but we believe that it is right and real. This is logical – when we don’t keep our promises and then we cover or run away, we are directly and indirectly being deceitful and creating confusion, wrong view for others. We say one thing, but we show another. Isn’t that a kind of deceit? Whether we intend to or not, we end up hurting another person and we inadvertently lie to them or show them something false. So logically, we create the causes for ourselves to go down that same path of “wrongness”, “wrong view” and deception. It becomes worse, because we eventually begin to deceive ourselves without even knowing it.
I asked Rinpoche what happens to people like this then? “Then,” I asked, “they just keep doing wrong things and thinking they’re right? Then they’re continuously creating negative karma?” He said, point blank, “Yes. why do you think there are creatures like snakes? Who kill and kill for a living? How did they get there?” It all begins with whether we keep our words of honour, being honest, maintaining our integrity. If not, you create negativity for yourself, you get accustomed to it, you feel comfortable with negative situations, and you want to do more and more of it. A snake, or any being that has to kills to survive (and perhaps enjoys it) didn’t get there by being an honest, upright being. It makes sense, doesn’t it?
It of course works the other way too. When we keep our promises – especially towards our teachers and our spiritual practice – we create tremendous positive karma. Our minds create the causes for honesty, and opening up to reality, truth (instead of going away from it). When we receive the much higher teachers of Tantra or even of emptiness- which deals directly with subjects on the reality / real nature of the mind and existence, we are able to perceive it much clearer, understand and most of all, practice it to gain attainments.
I also had the fortune to work with Rinpoche on translating and preparing some tantric texts. Rinpcohe explained certain parts to me where in the initiate makes a commitment to a certain practice every day after receiving the initiation. There is a part in the text that describes that if you fail to maintain your commitments, your head will split into a thousand pieces. This is not literal, but represents the severity of negative karma we can create for ourselves at that stage, when dealing with a practice so superior, high and beneficial. If doing good things, honestly and with integrity towards the Buddhas can bring us merit and karma, then surely, doing the opposite will also bring us tremendous demerit and negative karma.
Rinpoche is extremely strict about giving higher initiations and tantric practices only because he is so concerned about whether we will be able to maintain the practices and commitments. If we can’t even keep the simplest promises to our supervisors at work, or to our family members, then how we will maintain these commitments and promises? The repercussions are extremely high (as are the benefits, if we keep our commitments and devote ourselves to the practice!)
So it all begins with a promise. Rinpoche has given several teachings on this. You might wonder what the big deal is about keeping a promise – okay, so one or two people get hurt, you think, I’ll make it up to them. It’s far more than that – more dangerously, it’s not just about the people we hurt, but how much more danger and negativity we create for ourselves in the process. If we don’t care about what happens to other people, at least care what happens to ourselves!
There’s a brilliant short teaching on this on youtube too. Please do watch, it’s so so relevant to us in all aspects of our lives, and complements this blog post perfectly. Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4jqyYjVyS8
I hope I haven’t been presumptuous in what I’ve written here and by no means am I trying to override what Rinpoche has said or try to teach in any way. If it has come across in this way, I do apologise. I did not intend it to be like this. I just recalled what Rinpoche taught to me in private and think it will be of some benefit to share it with others here – I feel it matches what has been said here very much.
Dear Paris,
Thanks for taking the time to write and share this teaching that you have received. You are an excellent writer,and your memory is amazing!
You have opened up my knowledge how a simple promise can result in such heavy consequences of having wrong view and an inability to absorb the Dharma. On the contrary you have also shared light with me how, on a longer term, keeping promises have such beneficial results, and creates the causes for us to gain tantric practices.
Insane how small-minded we think, that breaking a promise is just short term and all we have to do is make up for it. Often we forget about the repercussions. What we don’t see is on a bigger scale, a longer term beyond our scope of comprehension, how it comes back to haunt us karmically. I am so glad you brought this up, because Rinpoche doesn’t think only short term for us. Everything is for our future. What we are tomorrow is what we do today.
Again, the choice is in our hands.
🙂
Love,
Carmen
Thanks Paris for sharing!
Paris, thanks HEAPS for sharing these teachings that you have received from Rinpoche and I agree with Carmen you’ve got a fantastic memory.
Paris, your style of “non-teaching” is clear and effective. I like it and I will read your version of the etchings your receive. Why not? If it helps someone “get” some Dharmic light turn on in their brain, isn’t that our job as engaged Buddhists?
Much Love,
Ana Montero from Toronto.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I guess keeping promises and commitments is something that everyone struggles with on many levels. I too am guilty of repeating such mistakes over and over again. But lately I have been contemplating on the fact that everything and everyone around me, including myself, are impermanent. And that the opportunity to change and improve oneself can be taken away as fast as it was presented. Hence, I now feel more urgency to improve myself before it is too late and am working on it.
I also agree that there is no point asking a teacher, friend, mentor, etc. for advice or guidance if we do not take them seriously at all. It is as if we do not respect the source of advice and guidance. Whatever respect we show them is superficial as our actions of not keeping to commitments and promises clearly show we think we know better.
Integrity is absolutely important in defining basic trust in a human relationship.
Doesn’t matter if its an assignment given by your boss, your Guru or your peers…if its given and accepted, then we must complete the task and deliver the results.
To complete the task, we must put in all our efforts, no short cut, no bullshit, no cover up, cos the results will speak for us.
We might be lucky for a while by covering, smooth talking, blaming others and pushing away the responsibility, but the truth is the truth, there are lots of eyes looking at us, there is no way to escape or hide, but to face the truth.
Since there is no way to hide, why border spending time in explaining and justifing why we should fail?
We should just do it, and do it whole heartedly to complete and deliver the assignment with results.
A person with intergity is a trust worthy person, and learning Dharma is to be a better person, a trustworthy person, a person with integrity.
So, we must do our work well, meet the deadline, and deliver the results.
Dear Rinpoche
Integrity and promise are important to keep us moving. Not to look for any excuses for ourselves that we can not do it. Most of the time we are runing away from our promise just because lazy, reluctant to change. I will definitely think seriously about it how to furher improve myself. Thank you.
Dear Rinpoche,
Dharma is about changing to become better. Get rid of all the bad habits and learning good one. In this sharing, Rinpoche has pointed out to us important quality that should be applied in our work, family and especially in dharma.
Every assignment/task given to us, we must commit and deliver. In an company or a dharma center, each and everyone has a role to play. If we are not committed and do not deliver, we might caused a delay in a project or worst case scenario the whole project failed. We need to know the direction of the leader and move towards the same direction. The end result should be beneficial to everybody.
Thank you Rinpoche for reminding us on the good quality.
Thank you Rinpoche for this post.
Living a life without integrity that means having a life that is full of lies, politics, cheats, complains, back stabbings and so on, because that’s the shortcut to get what we want.
When we promised and not do, or just simply do it and get over with it, it will be fine for the beginning, but after sometime later, we would not feel good, unhappy, and guilty, and it make other people suffers, because they have to run the extra miles to do what we didn’t do. Giving expectation and later on slam their face with disappointment.
When reading this post, it reminded me that how many disappointment i gave to other people, how much trouble i gave to other people when I said yes but didn’t deliver or conveniently forget about it, the feeling is not good, that’s for sure, and also a time that I’m telling myself: dude, you screwed up again…
To gain respect from others, it take months or years, but to make others lose respect on us, it is just in a glimpse. Of course, this is not where I want to be, It should be time to say goodbye to failing and head to the path of Integrity.
learnt commitment and keeping promise a lot from my children and my husband. My husband was a divorcee when I knew him. He was one of the men who was committed to not just money but time to his children from his previous marriage without much blame. I must be committed to be there for my step children whenever they came to spend the weekend with us in order to make them feel comfortable and I spent lesser time with my parents and brothers. They liked me. My children were very demanding for attention and I learnt I have to keep the promise that I have made or my children would not listen to me.
I remembered my disciplinary teacher told us that she would not stop her daughter to get married right after secondary school provided she must really know what she wanted and no regret to her own decision. I was surprised she said that and thought she has high expectation. Now that I can relate her claim to commitment and responsibility.
My experience as a volunteer from IBU, Joint Management Committee (property), Management Council (property) to now, I have witnessed people ie. professional people like navy captain, engineer, accountant etc. who liked to suggest, comment and complaint in the committee meeting but not willing to do any work, has in fact did not gain as much respect as compare to an ordinary housewife (I preferred to call homemaker) who was willing spend a lot of time to learn and committed to her work.
Many people like to find excuses to justify their wrongdoings or broken promises. For example, men like to use mid-life crisis in order to justify their either emotional affair or physical affair with other women. I believe people with integrity will not simply find any excuse to justify their wrongdoings but will bravely admitted their wrongdoings and promise not to do it again. In this case, how can the wife have faith in her husband.
Lately, I realise that I over commit myself to many works and neglect my children and housework.I have many unfinished works. I also can not focus in all my works due to overcommitment. I know I have to do something to ease my burden mind and before leading me to the path of loosing faith and loosing respect. Over committed = Not committed. I’m not pushing any blame to anyone because it is my responsibility to make the choice, and I just have to fix it myself. People tends to show sour face when s/he can not finish their work due to overcommitment, I personally feel that it is merely an reaction out of guilt conscious and to avoid blame. However, many people have the false perception of over committed will mean very committed. There will also be someone trying to use this to justify their laziness by giving excuse of over-committed to their work.
Thank you for reading my comment.
That’s so true. We are too ego and confident that we know more than others, Hence, we are not always commit what we promised and give a lot of reasons or execuses for not completing the assigned task on time. The same thing I am doing it. It’s our choice whether to take control our mind or let our mind control us.
Thanks Rinpoche for sharing this. We have to transform now. Otherwise we will regret when we are facing death.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you for sharing. I totally agree that having Integrity in whatever we do will bring positive results. A person with integrity cares for others that’s why they make sure whatever they do, they do it well and not break promised to let others down. I will keep this in mind always and will contemplate and improve myself or how else i can benefit anyone without having integrity in the first place.
Thank you and much care,
Jeffrey Gan
INTEGRITY = Everything, it can say so. As Rinpoche said: “This is very important for our well being of MIND, BODY, RELATIONSHIP, EMOTIONS, WORK, FAMILY and SPIRITUAL…”
Yeaa, we are old enough to know “promise is a promise.”
Thank you Rinpoche for this post. = )
好运来自无论任务有多艰巨，你都会完成它。如果你一心只想找捷径，导致人们最后必须为你收拾烂摊子，只会导致你坏事临门。
谢谢仁波切的开示与教悔
Dear Rinpoche . Life is so full of choices and mostly they are distractions from the real goal . I must prioritise and choose what is most important and stay on the course till the goal is achieved . On this journey , I have to work hard consistently with full commitment and integrity . With these qualities I can avoid anger and fear . My mind will be trained to receive the ultimate tantric commitments which will bring me directly to the ultimate truth and goal ! Thank you dear Rinpoche for always working so hard to find all sort of ways and means to keep all motivated and focused on the goal !
Many times from past, present and even in future. Without the integrity in every part of life. Yes, i will not see myself move from nowhere. We live too long in the comfort zone. Thank for Rinpoche value teaching. i have a slape on face to step out to do more.
承诺非常重要,不管对自己或是他人,我们都一定要遵守,感谢仁波切.
Dear Rinpoche, Thank you for the post, it’s really a great reminder for us. Integrity is the way how you treated your life, a lead to success and respect, with these we will find true happiness. Many people making promises just to comfort others but they never realize it creates more damage!! Promise its not meant to be broken, but somehow many people likes to give empty promises to make them look good, but as Rinpoche said time will show your true color :)you can’t hide from it!
For my own experience, when i was younger i never like to give promises as i know i will break it! its purely of my laziness and i am very forgetful! And also Giving promises stress me out haha but i will still do my best but no promise, if i achieve it then its a bonus, if i can’t achieve it then is ok because i never promise (This was what i thought)!!
Well when i am more mature now and with a little Dharma knowledge i knew that my previous action its purely ego and not responsible another word of it its “KIASU” hehehe… Its time for me to transform and be a better person, i really love this statement from Rinpoche “What is dharma? Dharma is fighting your bad habits and developing MORE GOOD HABITS AND KEEPING THEM.”
As In work I am very grateful to have a great superior that always guide us and give us good advise 🙂 even we are not capable in something he will always guide us all the way.
Lastly I am glad that i have met you Rinpoche, thank you for all your blog post. Its always a great reminder and great inspiration to me.
Thank you with all my heart.
Much love & care,
Helena
谢谢仁波切的肺腑之言！
在生活中往往因为惰性，导致你对他人所许下的承诺无法实现。我们都爱选择捷径来完成自己的任务。在逃避责任的当儿，也失去别人对你的信任与尊重！
自认自己在这方面也有很多不足，看了仁波切教诲，更能时时刻刻自我警惕，要更积极面对生活上遇到的挫折，以正面的方法解决它。
谢谢仁波切。
承诺真的非常重要,不管是对自己或者是别人,我们都要遵守.感谢仁波切.
When one decides to have a guru, one admits to himself his shortcomings and acknowledge other with higher knowledge, wisdom, if you will, over himself. If not, then why have a guru? Just like doctor, a patient will have complete trust over the advice and instruction of the doctor simply because he’s an expert and he cares for your well-being. If this s not the case, then we do not need to consult the doctor. Might as well self- administer our owm medicine and hope to cure our illness. Because of guru’s superior and highly realized knowledge, and wisdom, he is able to prescribe the correct ‘medicine’ specifically meant for our illness.
Not following his specific instruction and or promise is a clear sign action of undermining the guru’s knowledge and wisdom. This is usually acted out of arrogance and delusion. Medicine will not work for patient who do not believe in the doctor and who do not work hard to follow the instruction of the doctor nor keep t the promise to take the medicine at agreed dosage, time and frequency. This applies to guru-student relationship.
Only the doctor knows best for our medical health. Just like a guru who knows best for our spiritual growth. By not following instruction or keep promise to take the medicine, it is this patient that will end up the losing side. Just like we will end up spiritually stagnant when we do not follow and complete our guru’s instruction and keep to our promise to him.
To mean what we say and do what we say uphold integrity. We, without integrity, is like being reduce to animal realm. We ought not to do things we think is right but instead do the right thing. This wisdom can only be from the guru himself. If we know how the do the right thing, we would not be in this mess, would we?
When I was a child I used to hate my teachers. Because they were always telling me to do things I do not like. With better wisdom, I now know my teachers were right all the time. Because they had higher knowledge and wisdom. Because they cared for my well-being. Today, I am appreciative of their instructions and persistence. Because I come out as a much better educated person with the right habits. This is only through following instructions, keeping promise to finish home works and assignments.
Instructions, assignment and promises from guru are to be acted on. Try and try. If I don’t succeed, I seek the strength to try again and again. Like anything else, only through resolute and effort can we enjoy the taste of accomplishment. Only because of mistakes can we be stronger, and determined to recognize failure as an event and not a person.
Rinpoche is a reminder of my laziness, bad habits, abd ugliness. Why? Because a guru will always remind.
多谢仁波切的教诲。
遵守承诺=有诚信的人=赢得敬重。
许多时候我们总是忘了所承诺的事情，总是像他人开下“空头支票”，总是习惯性，以及选择性的去完成工作，无形中加重了他人的负担以及拖延事情的进展度。
很多时候我们为了掩盖自己所犯的错误，而为自己套上了多重面具，这样使得自己的心识一直往内在封锁。认为他人看不穿我们内在的不安，那知这样反而让我们不能以真诚的心对待别人。
拥有一位上师并不难，要拥有一位对我们不离不弃的上师是难上加难！我们一定要对上师所给的忠告以及所委派的任务及事情从一而终以真诚之心把事情办好。毕竟上师是以慈悲心来教化我们，让我们以最短及最快的速度达成我们的修行路。
学习佛法自然而然要把佛法融入生活中，这样才能真正转化内心。
Cynthia，我赞成你说的，我们往往为了掩饰自己的错误，而为自己套上多重面具。日子久了，逐渐将自己的心也封锁起来了。心一旦封锁，人就会变得淡漠，淡漠的人怎么会快乐呢？不遵守承诺，促使你必须伪装自己，令你开始逃避和愤怒，让你远离人群，最后甚至变得淡漠和厌世。简单的一件事不去做，导致雪球越滚越大，还卷进恶性循环，简直就得不偿失。仁波切曾经对“逃避”做过详细的分析和解释。（http://blog.tsemtulku.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/inspiration-worthy-words/avoidance.html）。
我个人很喜欢“逃避”这篇文章，记得那时候读起来简直就是惊心动魄，心虚得不得了。不过转念一想，解决的方法其实很简单：答应了，去做就是了！
Dear Rinpoche,
Thankyou for sharing the teaching. Be it we’re in circular world or in dharma work, i strongly agreed that when people walks the talk, putting promises into action, it shows the attitude about the person towards his/her life too.
I remember during my childhood time, my grandparent would scold my siblings & I when we were not being honest,irresponsible for what we’ve promised to complete.
In adulthood, when you’re out there in society, i think, it will be shameful if we constantly need people to remind us for what we couldnt complete as per promised. We must not cover it up. Instead, face it, and make a change.
I’m not perfect either. Thankyou for reminding us again.
谢谢仁波切的开示与教悔。
让我常常自我检讨，别再浪费时间。
感恩。
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you for patiently reminding us again with this article. Everything Rinpoche wrote is so true. Integrity is really very important if we want to achieve something meaningful and substantial in our lives. I make lots of mistakes in my life and even compromise on my integrity. I realise that it’s easier to deliver what I promised than to break the promise. The after effects are horrible and draining if I break my promise.
Without integrity, I don’t accomplish much. Then my confidence level goes down. Then people around me don’t trust me anymore. I get even more frustrated. And it’s a vicious cycle.
Solution is as Rinpoche wrote, “Finish what you promised, apologize and don’t do it again. Simple. It can be simple if you choose it.” Bottom line is I can always choose to rebuild myself using integrity and being consistent. I need to be brutally honest with myself.
Rinpoche wrote, “Dharma is fighting your bad habits and developing MORE GOOD HABITS AND KEEPING THEM. Integrity is the top of the list for secular and spiritual practice.” I couldn’t agree more. I am very thankful that I have the dharma. I can already see a big difference in my life with the little dharma that I learn and practice. I’m doing things I never imagine I could. I’m very grateful for that.
Thank you Rinpoche for your unconditional love and patience always.
Yes, integrity is earned by fulfilling, completing and holding every commitment and promise we made to others or to our self. By utilizing temporal advantages, i.e outlook, power, knowledge or monetary wealth would not help us to gain any integrity from others. In addition for only one time if we “misused” these temporal advantages, it is strong enough to destroy the entire hard-earned integrity. For instance, I personally will respect a not-so-intelligent guy who always fulfill his commitment and promise to others as compared to a brilliant smart guy who able to give wonderful sweet talk to cover his failure to complete the commitment and promise he made!!! What’s the point of misusing his intelligence to give thousand excuses instead of completing his commitment perfectly?
Thank you for sharing, Rinpoche.
Take good care, with love
Victor
遵守承诺,一定会成功.感谢仁波切的教诲.
When someone has integrity,this generally means that he or she have strong moral character which is one of the most important virtues a person can possess.Promises are not made to be broken and be responsible for our own actions.Thank you Rinpoche for this teaching.Am still contemplating on it.
Thank you Rinpoche for giving us your heart advice. This is the integrity, care and commitment of a teacher so rare to find that we shall hold dear and respect; we shall heed his advice and put into practice. Surely Rinpoche will be happy and proud of the person he wishes to see in us. Rinpoche is so selfless and full of unconditional love. This is the quality he so wishes to see in us so we could accomplish the higher yoga tantras he is waiting to empower.
Thanks Rinpoche for reminding students who always forgot about how important integrity was when we engage in our life.
Contemplate deeply is a must when we are not aware of how important this teaching can change us to be a real person of integrity.
Things move on when we have good integrity and people will have full faith on us.
“Dharma is fighting your bad habits and developing MORE GOOD HABITS AND KEEPING THEM.”
I always like what Rinpoche explain about Dharma, it is really simple and sharp!
Hank
Dear Rinpoche
Thank you for sharing Rinpoche’s thoughts here. The formula for success is simple. Keep our promises and what we promise to do, we should do it. i have always thought that if i do not do my part, it means that someone else will have to do it. Rinpoche’s advice is logical and practical and best of all, easy to apply. You don’t have to be Buddhist or any religion to agree with this simple truth – if we fulfill our promises, we will be respected because we will be reliable. Also, if we are not selective with what is needed to be done, more things will get done – simply because they need to be done.
Keeping promises, no matter what the obstacles, is a quality that Rinpoche has embodied throughout Rinpoche’s life; hence the title of Rinpoche’s pictorial biography!
If we look around us, who do we usually count on – it will often be someone who when they say they will do something, they do it without needing to be checked up on. Ironically, the more capable and dependable you are, the more you will end up doing because you do your job well! Then it is not fair because a few people will end up shouldering the work for those who are lazy or do not wish to step out of their comfort zones. If everyone stepped up, took responsibility and kept their words of honour, wouldn’t the world be a much more pleasant place to be in… definitely something to think about.
Hear hear!! I totally agree with you there.
I am too competitive, too worried about “face” to not do my work well. I wonder why it is that people lie and cover up to save face. Just do the fricking work well the first time and you will create a beautiful big gold shiny rainbow colored face for yourself!!!! I’ve wondered why so many people don’t get that the first time round?
I think it’s helpful to think, as you’re working or doing whatever it is that you’re doing “Is this good enough? Will it mean someone else has to pick up and improve it?” and, for the face-concerned, “Will they think badly of me if this work is a crock of s%*t?” That’s enough for me to stay up that extra hour to make sure I see something through!
I guess the problem is when people really don’t care what others think about them and it doesn’t bother them at all if/when someone else has to save their a$$ and cover the work for them. There are plenty of irresponsible, lazy, immature people like that (ask me! I’ll tell you where they’re all hiding!). Then, you know what, it’s very simple – for those people, they better not complain when one day, when wake up and find that nobody wants to be around them, nobody respects them, everyone else has moved ahead in life and they are still there doing nothing and nobody wants to entrust them with anything anymore. Don’t complain about your lot in life if you’ve been contributing to it all these years. People can be given changes only that many times.
So yes, doing your job well – like Sharon has already noted, is about really being beneficial and helpful to others – to relieve their burden a little and make their work easier because you’ve done your part. It is also about being beneficial and helpful to ourselves, ultimately, because then we grow, we push ourselves, we achieve things we didn’t think we could and PEOPLE LIKE US – we have a big happy FACE WORTH SAVING.
Thank you Rinpoche for this blog post. It is so straight to the point. We are selective because we want an easy way out, not wanting to push ourselves more. We do things that we like and capable of because that do not require us to challenge ourselves, especially our bad habits. Most of the time, we do things for ourselves or for our own benefits. This is when we become stagnant and not going any further.
‘Dharma is fighting your bad habits and developing MORE GOOD HABITS AND KEEPING THEM’, I couldn’t agree more. When I feel stuck in my work, I know I am fighting my bad habits and challenging my comfort zone, then it is my choice to run away or keep trying and not giving up. In Dharma, running away is not an option, to progress is to face it and keep trying. Do not let negative emotions win and pull us down in our spiritual practice. Once we have fought our bad habits and developed good habits, the next challenge is how to keep the good habits. I found contemplation (as advised by Rinpoche) is a very good way to overcome bad habits and keeping the good ones.
It sounds difficult to fight our bad habits and develop good ones. A very simple way to achieve it, is by having integrity, following instructions and fulfill our commitments. Once this foundation is developed strongly, nothing is difficult anymore.
Bottom line is, do not get comfortable with where we are and what we are now. To improve is to be challenged.
亲爱的仁波切，很感谢你的开示，就如你所说诚信是在我们生活和修行中是很重要的。过去的我尝试了很多捷径，当事情发生时我就要用更多的借口来掩饰我的失败，这让我领悟到世上所有的事是没有捷径的。
How we want people to believe in us, respect us and want to be with us is to gain the trust, from our integrity.
Keeping our promises, do our best for every single things that we agreed upon, no “but” and just do it all the way. If we like people doing in such way of course people would like us to do the same.
As Rinpoche mentioned, wanting respect from people we need commitment and is a consistent commitment. People will want to work with us for our consistent result. From this consistent result we are able to attract more people with us to do much bigger work.
With our integrity we can do more and more people will inspire because of the more success we achieve.
Commitment covers many different kinds of intentions, promises, convictions and relationships of trust and expectation. Commitments and promises are not to be made just to look good, temporarily cover our mistakes and trying to get away from it. Being lazy, fear, selective and refuse to come out from comfort zone are part of the causes that always drag us down from producing results progressively.
When we made a promise, no matter how difficult along the way, a person of integrity will be willing to bear the consequences of his convictions. To earn respect from others is not something we can fake it, it’s only when we are engaged with sincerity and honesty in every of our actions, we then get positive result.
佛法是沒有選擇性的，它不是說你喜歡就做，不喜歡就不想理睬，那並不是真正的在修習佛法，那只一種低賤的方式，想佔便宜佛法的方式。我個人很贊同这個看法，因為恶性使然，我自己也是其中一位只揀爱做的事去做，不喜歡的便丟在一边，故作看不見。
孰不知，佛法是殊胜且沒有选择性的，今天不管我在扫地或當一位主管，只要發心一樣，功德玄相同。諾言，也一样如此。所謂的諾言，它不分大小，只要承諾了，就要做。这點我自認沒有真正的做到，所以仁波切說得對，與其花費大量的力氣在找借口掩飾，倒不如去做，同样需要很大的力氣，為何要这般愚昧呢？
做不好事情或答應了不做，都是很不道德的行為，偏偏愚痴如我者，明知故犯？我想幸好我有位慈悲的嚴師，要不這些如此重要的人生道理，我還真沒有做好兩三樣呢。
慈悲的上師，以其身教幫助我在修行上精進，卻因恶習的糾纏，我卻失去承諾一次又一次，这篇文章，的確讓我再次深切地反省，我到底要選擇與恶習為伍，還是和佛法共存。。。???
Integrity, this invaluable quality will bring so much benefits ones cultivated. I appreciate very much how Rinpoche taught this quality in simple words with practical examples and logical benefits which comes along with it.
Just with everything else, cultivating a new habit is not easy. But focusing on the benefits and disbenefits helps tremendously for me to put in the effort to cultivate any good/positive qualities. I’ve experienced much and ongoing disappointments from people with no integrity….well, it must be because i’ve caused much hurt and disappointments in the past towards them. I do not wish to experience such disappointments and thus, each day cultivate good qualities
This teaching gives me much to mull over and is certainly applicable to people of all ages and culture…
谢谢上师的教诲，这真的很珍贵的一篇教言。从责任承诺到诚信，似乎就是我们常挂在嘴边，但又有多少人说到做到…其实很多时候发现说实话，或不去找借口，就单纯坦白的认错道歉，却比一切容易，也让自己的心踏实下来..读完这篇文章后，开始想自己曾经承诺了什么，而还没做到的？对家人，朋友，同事等等的人..将会让我思考上一阵子…谢谢仁波切的开示，让我们重新认识，诚实的面对自己的不是，谢谢
我非常认同詹仁波切所提到的 “拥有诚信，能让你无论选择做什么，都会是胜者。富有与否或英俊与否并不重要。你将会被爱戴、尊敬和广受欢迎。”
我亲身体会的是，往往都是因为我自己的惰性、不在乎他人的感受，而导致这些问题一一出现。有时候回想过去，以往所犯的这一些错误，是非常愚蠢。非常喜欢这段话“看着镜子，问问自己究竟达致了一些什么成就。为什么人们喜欢或不喜欢你。问自己，诚实地面对答案，并认真地解决问题。”做人还是要对得起自己的良心，别在培养我们自己内心的坏习惯，乘它还早来得及救。
~ 遵守承诺，能让你成为一个有诚信的人。这种诚信能为你赢得敬重，而他人的敬重则能给你一颗平静的心，因为你知道人们是喜欢你、尊敬你的。
~ 拥有诚信，能让你无论选择做什么，都会是胜者。富有与否或英俊与否并不重要。你将会被爱戴、尊敬和广受欢迎。~ 詹仁波切
得到别人的尊敬与信任是来自 ~ 承诺
佛法世界的承诺是帮助我们修习戒律和专化。
然而，无论在佛法修行或现实社会我们都必须面对承诺这个字眼，因为这是事实。。。
仁波切一直都强调佛法就是生活，生活就是佛法。
我们世人永远离不开责任这个事情。诚信是给我们立足在社会的保障,成功的护照。
仁波切这遍开示，也给了我一个当头棒。。。提醒了很多其实我们应该做的事情。
它其实很简单，上师说得对。。。
成功就是来自这个原理。
感谢上师教诲。
Actually, for the past few years, I have learned a lot about intergrity and about completing a project till the end.
Previously, while working for a secular world, u complete a project till the end because you were paid to do it and the company benefit by the increase in profit.
In the dharma world, when you complete a project or an assignment, u benefit so many others in their spiritual journey. Most of a time, an assignment/project has a direct benefit to others ie an assignment can rescue people from depression, save lives,and etc. Thus if we do NOT complete a project or we do not have integrity, many will suffer. I have experienced this and once is enough for me to learn that I have to complete what was given/started.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you for the teaching. What was mentioned is so true. Keeping a promise could be challenging at times, and running away may seems to be the easiest way out, but in the long run when feelings of guilt, unable to handle any form of responsibilities and low self-esteem piled up, it actually creates more suffering.
Thank you Rinpoche for the valuable teaching. Nothing can hide with our broken promises and only truthful with our actions can bring out one’s sincerity to shine.
Thank you Rinpoche for this wonderful teaching. Indeed integrity is a very essential part of our life, everything we come across is integrity is important in our daily life to operate within the context of life. dharma teaches us to respect others and keeping the promise not only of our Guru, but also to others .
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you for the teaching. What was mentioned is so true. Keeping a promise can be challenging at times, but the end results are always fulfilling. Running away or finding excuses not to keep the promises could be the easiest way out, but in the long run the feeling of guilt, low-self-esteem, not able to handle or take up any form of responsibilities will create a bigger problem.
感谢尊贵的仁波切给于那么好和重要的开示。（佛法就是要你克服坏习惯）这讲得很真实。还有对承诺的定义。 这让我受益良多并启发我做更多。
Even in something as simple as a school environment this applies. Doing your work well results in your teachers respecting you more. Don’t do it well and they don’t like you as much. I’m not one who hands in all my work on time, or finishes it with 100%, and its simple, it is because I am lazy.
I agree that when I respect a person, it is because they have kept their promises to me, they have done what they have said, and so because I can see this I would want to be like them. Thus, if i got out of my lazy self, and really pushed I can gain respect. It is simple, and respect can never be forced, the only way to earn it is through long hard work, and consistency.
Not doing my work properly in the past, whether it be dharma or school results in the same things. People lose respect, they lose patience, and when I don’t do my role, I don’t blame them for giving up on me. It is true that if you do your part with integrity, others will do theirs, and it will make life a lot easier for yourself.
I can see why integrity is the most essential characteristics for monks and nuns. Integrity is alike holding vows. We say we will do something and we stick to it. When we take a vow, we abide it. I feel that Rinpoche is showing us integrity through work, keeping promises to the guru and people around us is a reflection of how well we can hold our vows eventually in higher practices.
Being slack, not keeping our words of honour, irresponsibility will lead to letting people around us suffer. For example if we are assigned a job which will help someone from dying and we say we will do it but didn’t. Other people trust that we will do it and be rresponsible for it. Then this person dies because we didn’t do what we say we will. The result and consequences can be huge. We never know when someone put so much trust in us and we let them down and cause them much grief.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you for taking the time to write this blogpost and give us something to contemplate about. With Rinpoche’s time spent on each and every post, we must make sure that it reaches out to everyone, and comment on the post as Rinpoche did it for us, so we play our part and do the same.
Integrity, responsibility and keeping promises is fundamental in whatever we do. Spiritual or secular, our qualities we carry are inherent and that will be the basis of where respect is generated for an individual. When we promise to do something and we don’t, it creates the karma for us to keep breaking promises because we relate promises to empty words and of little value. We say that we will do it just for the sake of saying it. We won’t take things seriously, and likewise, people won’t take us seriously. Broken promises will push us to breaking more promises eventually, and really, people will get tired of listening to our redundant excuses on why we didn’t do what we are supposed to do. Continuously breaking promises will become easier, and then eventually, we lose everything. People won’t want to deal with us, because they cannot trust us anymore. Trust comes from respect which comes from responsibility and integrity.
When we don’t do our work properly, do not do it at all or are selective, it takes alot of energy to make up for what we didn’t do. When the truth is told to our face, we still have excuses, but living in those excuses is MUCH HARDER. Then, we start to twist and lie. You cannot face the truth that you will not make it, so you start avoiding those people you made your promises to. What Rinpoche said is absolutely true – True lasting friendships and relationships goes beyond what we can buy, it has to be earned.
What Dharma has taught me is that selectiveness is our choice. There is nothing we possibly can’t do – it’s a matter of whether we want to or not. What I find useful to remind myself when I start becoming selective is that if others can do it why can’t you?
When you can deliver your promises and responsibilities, you also gain self esteem because the people around you will like you, will want to work with you. Breaking promises pushes you away from everything, because you chose to hide behind face and a world of excuses and lies.
Ultimately, integrity comes from care also. It is because we care, that we push ourselves a little further to help others, and get our work done. When we don’t care, it is when we don’t do.
Love,
Carmen
其实，经验告诉我们，什么也不要想太多，藉口也不给地就去做，实践诺言就像把你点的菜心满意足的吃完，不挑剔不埋怨，身体和心理上都没有负担，还很轻松自在。但，我们还是经常没有把菜吃完，埋怨厨师厨艺不了得、服务生服务态度差影响食欲。
读了仁波切的教诲，我在想：我到底没有去实践什么诺言，又实践了诺却未必是全力以赴的？我做得的确不够，倾向于逃避自己不太喜欢的，做起来却还缺乏卯足全力。除了实践所承诺的，我们还必须不顾一切地去做，管他山崩地裂，这样才真正的时间承诺。
人生的功课就像考试，今天逃得了/考砸了，明天下辈子下下辈子，还不是要面对/重考。不如来的时候就去面对，去做吧。
感谢仁波切的教诲。
Thank you for this post that speaks on many levels about essential points that apply to all of us. Rinpoche has taken the time to explain to us in easy words and logic, the workings of karma when it comes to integrity. In fact, Rinpoche has explained it so skillfully that it doesnt seem like a teaching on Karma. What stands out for me in from this blog teaching are:
Integrity – who doesnt want respect, or to be liked? Its so easy to apply in just our daily life… look around us and see who we trust and who we don’t trust to do what they say, or do it well. If we can form such impressions easily of others, what then do others think of us? And what have we done to create that impression?
Equanimity – to have integrity with all promises and instructions, big or small. Who are we to decide what is important or not important, especially when it comes to our Guru’s instructions?
Urgency – there is no time like now to have and maintain integrity. Who knows when we will die, or when our karma will catch up with us?
“You are old enough to know a promise is a promise” – How true. No more trying to kid ourselves or others.
仁波切给予的以上开示是让我深有感触的！承诺了，我们就要去做，立下了承诺，我们要就有责任去履行。一个人的成功与否，责任与承诺,肯定是非常的重要！
Dear Rinpoche,
Yes, Rinpoche it’s true, integrity is very important in our life,just like the parents promise they kids to do something, but the parents always say no time, not now or later,1 time or 2 times is ok! but more than 2 times, the kids already got the answer in they mind , cos the kids already disappointed,so what we promise,we have to find the way to finish our promise, even is not susses.
If someone is not integrity,people wont ask they to works, they will lost lot of chance to so many thing maybe can help themselves.
Thank you Rinpoche to remind us!!
Integrity = Success.
This is very important teaching for us to improve ourselves. I will read it again and again to remind myself that intergrity is everything we got, nothing else matters especially in Dharma and doing Dharma works.
I will forever remember this line Rinpoche wrote:
“Good things comes from keeping your responsibilities no matter how difficult. Bad things come from wanting shortcuts that eventually someone else has to pick up the mess for you or cover for you.”
Thank you Rinpoche.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thanks for showing to the people who are always keeping their promise that they are doing great and should keep on fighting. I have a lot of images and past experiences flowing in my mind while im reading through what Rinpoche’s wrote here. As from my working field, a lot of time keeping a promise is really a tough and hard thing. Eg: a cameraman has to keep his promise as a cameraman in his working field, yet at a same time, he has to keep his promise to go home for dinner with children and wife, at a same time, he might promise to attend another meeting for next job with another crew team, etc. I can relate that making a promise is actually happening everyday. Before i understand the reason through dharma, it’s quite easy for people to break a promise. I understand better now, I will always keep in mind to be honest and sincere in making any of my promises. You cant expect people to respect you if you can’t even keep a promise to yourself. Thanks rinpoche!
谢谢仁波切的一番肺腑之言！
责任与承诺， 其实就是我们应该拥有的美德！只是我们把这美好的东西埋没在无底洞里，每天沉沦在我们的吃喝玩乐的世界。
三毒， 常常让我们忘了， 对家人， 朋友， 工作失去了责任与承诺， 让我们选择逃避， 欺骗，隐瞒，伤害爱我们的每一个！
遇见仁波切， 是我的幸运。
皈依仁波切， 是我自愿的。
听从上师的教诲，绝对是理所当然。
改变态度， 是自然而然的。
这些都没有人强逼，使我们自己选择。
就如我们，
渴望爱，就找爱人。结婚，立下承若， 拥有美好家庭。
都是自己选择的，难道我们许下这些山盟海誓是， 是具有破坏之心吗？
醒来吧！我们面前就有一位上师，领导着我们， 不要再被我们的三毒，把眼给遮盖掉! 幸运之神是不会常伴在身边！！
Dear Louise,
Wow !! You can write !!
I LOVE what you wrote.
Keep writing and you will become another dharma writer, in CHINESE!
随喜！加油加油！
Integrity, honesty, sincerity… 3 important ingredients for successful teamwork.
If we really remember the disappointment we felt in our hearts when we find out that the beautiful promises made by people we trusted are just empty or broken, or how we and other team members had to pick up the slack and take up the strain caused by other team members who said they would do their part but end up not doing anything or giving sub-standard work at the last minute… we definitely won’t want to cause this kind of emotional stress on others by flaking out ourselves, or over-promising others to look good (in that moment).
Saying we would do something but we end up not, that is just the same as lying, and covering up with excuses just shows our arrogance that we think other people are stupid.
Thank you Rinpoche for the constant reminders for us to do more and keep our promises. We have all to gain from expanding our comfort zones.
Thank you Tsem Rinpoche for sharing..
This is what we can learn and knows what is promises. We must always be responsible that what we promises and must do it. If we always keep our promises and do it, this is for sure others people will fully respect you.
何谓佛法？ 佛法就是要你克服坏习惯，培养更多的好习惯，并坚持下去。无论在世俗或灵修上，诚信都是最重要的。～詹杜固仁波切
仁波切给予的以上开示是让我深有感触的！无论是不是佛法事业，其实没有诚信的作为是不会受他人的爱戴，尊敬和欢迎的。立下了承诺，就有责任去履行。一个人的成功与否，诚信肯定是非常的重要！
谢谢仁波切这篇意义非凡的开示。
After reading this article, i feel.. thankful to Guru. Without Rinpoche, I can’t even identify these deadly habits. Before joining Kechara, hearing Dharma given by H.E Tsem Rinpoche, i do not know that these was an excuses for me to hide deep into my own wonderland or comfort zone. Again and again H.E have reminded me to keep the promises, to push myself out from my bad habits- such as laziness and wanting to avoid. These bad habits have causes me lots of troubles. These habits is killing me, putting a very negative mindset in me. Always wanting to run away, or to say- I can’t do it or i am going to fail. I still have these negatives thoughts but, at least i have a “lamp” to guide me that these habits and thoughts is a negative mara to make me be a failure. I pray hard that i can improve fast, i pray and urge myself to move forward. Thank you Guru, for the teaching. Please stay and spread dharma. _/\_
Hi Freon,
Very nice to read what you said here. However we need to constantly maintain mindfulness of our motivation and good thoughts from what we had learned from Rinpoche to not allow habituated attitudes to spring forth and spoil everything : ))
Thank you Freon for your comment as I can relate very much to what you wrote.
This comment of Rinpoche has been very helpful…Thank you so much Rinpoche ~After all, what is dharma? Dharma is fighting your bad habits and developing MORE GOOD HABITS AND KEEPING THEM~
Thank you for the meaningful insight that has a global message to all.
It’s an eye opener really. We may not realise we have unfulfilled promises as some things may be so small that we take for granted that it’s no big deal. We pass the buck as a defense mechanism to justify our actions- and at the end of the day it’s just to save face.
I have been guilty of this at one point in time or another.
But then you go home worrying what people really think of you and that ‘uneasy underlying guilt” stays with you.
Without “walking the talk” we don’t make an impact to anyone and without having or upholding one’s principle or value, we are directionless.
I am striving to be better and every advice helps.
Thank you very much Rinpoche.
Dear Rinpoche,
While doing the translation, I find it not so comfortable to read through this article. Perhaps what has been mentioned is too true and it hits the nail right on the head. However, after I finished the translation and trying to find a key message to share on social media with friends, I suddenly realized that we have actually learned all this since we were very young.
We all knew this very well by theory, though it sounds very simple, yet not everyone can make sure they have done it consistently. To keep a short term promise is easy, but consistency is the hardest part. I think the main problem is we don’t want to really let go of our attachments and walked out of our comfort zone.
It reminds me again of Rinpoche’s promise to Your Guru. To some people, what Kechara has achieved today is a miracle, but after reading Rinpoche’s life story, everything seems to have come from keeping a Promise, letting go of attachment and persistent hard work.
We all own a key to success, and Rinpoche has been tirelessly reminding us about that using different ways and methods. What we need to do is just listen to the teachings and follow the instructions. How lucky we are.
Thank you Rinpoche for your constant guide.
With folded hands,
Lanse
Totally agree with Lanse!
Integrity is such an easy thing which we have known it already, but yet to live with it and do it consistently is hard to most of the people.
And I agree that we are so lucky that we only need to listen and follow instructions, what an “easy” life compare to our dear Guru.
_/|\_
Dear Rinpoche,
When we were a wee little kiddo, our school teachers reminded us to do our homework and if we didn’t pass up our work in time, we were often reprimanded and punished. We thought that we would grow out of our childish feats, but we never really did. I actually wonder why is it so difficult to be honest, sincere, responsible, committed, keep our promises and have integrity in all we do and say. I thought we all screamed for world peace, unity, cookies and sunshine. But we do the exact opposite of creating more sufferings, unhappiness and pain. We are indeed very strange, almost paranormal.
Thank you very much for the reminder, Rinpoche.
Cheers,
Wendy
Dear Rinpoche, I personally would like to be associated with people who has integrity, therefore, I would place this value high on my priority list. It helps to be brought up in a family where great emphasis was placed on working hard, to me that is an important ingredient to compliment integrity, into doing what it takes to get the job done. Of course, I slipped too. In Kechara, there are many good examples of people who worked really hard, and I felt that I have done much lesser. When I do not do something is because I am being selective or because I am preoccupied with other work, which means I have not prioritized the importance. As a parent, integrity is very important as we cannot tell our children to do something when we ourselves do not keep to our promise. It is contagious ! Thanks to Rinpoche for always guiding us. With folded hands, Judy
I think integrity means honesty with myself, not being lazy and, to understand/look for the purpose of doing the work well. If we don’t feel motivate to work then we need to find the motivation. We might need to keep looking until in our heart we feel this is the motivation we seek…
Rinpoche says it very well,
“When we are given an assignment, we should FIND REASONS TO COMPLETE IT..never give reasons why we ‘couldn’t’ do it.”
Dear Rinpoche. It is definitely true that to gain other’s trust, we need to do what we promised and need to do it to the best of our ability. It is important that we do it with sincerity ie without personal agenda or gain from the work we are doing. It should be without conditions.
Of course we have leaders of different qualities. Regardless of their qualities, we need to just do what we promise. That will help the cause ultimately. Then, people know us as a person who delivers without conditions and as a person of integrity, people trust us, we build on that with more deliveries of good work. In time, we can only have growth.
We should not apply different standards for worldly work and Dharma work. It should be the same. There is only one truth.We sometimes think, people in Dharma are perfect and hence we apply a “higher” standard. People in Dharma are the same but with more superior motivations by the blessings of the Guru. If we realise that, and focus on the work we will deliver. The more we deliver the easier we will be able to accomplish the work and then we can do even “bigger” work.
That is my promise!
I know that keep promise is important and I also know that in the spiritual path if I don’t keep promise I would created bad karma. Therefore I thought I am smart, I keep very little/few promises and I made promise at my convenient when come to spiritual path.
After reading this article, I know I am a fool, a stupid person in the spiritual path. From this article, I realize that the more promises I keep means that I am more to take charge/responsibility of my own life (not this life but also future life), and also helping myself to develop all the good habits, at the same time can benefiting others also. Although I know is not the easy path to walk, “not easy” means we need to come out from our comfort zone and fight with our laziness, but it is worth to do so because it is win- win – win situation. Nothing to lose. Just like what Rinpoche said, Dharma is fighting my bad habit and developing more good habits,
Thank you for Rinpoche tirelessly to guide us.
Yes integrity is the key to every success, if everything is we have said we will do and we don’t do or later find it difficult and dont want to do. Well we wont be very successful will we? Yes we can cover once or twice and perhaps someone covers for us but for long how long can it last. We cannot live on past successes and we need to keep to what we have promised.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you so much for the teaching and I have been pondering on this teaching since i read so that it sinks into me. I am aware that I am unable to meet deadlines and i do make an effort to inform or rearrange my schedule to actually make sure that the work delivers on time and with quality. Or, I give an estimation time with buffer time to prevent deadlines from not being met and I am intensifying in this effort until I can deliver within the deadline and be consistent in it.
After reading through this post around 5 times, it made me realize that although chasing after deadlines might be difficult, not chasing them is harder as nothing can make up for loss of respect and people around me as well as the lost opportunities that will pass by. Thank you Rinpoche for stressing again the importance of integrity which will be one of the key points that I will develop in myself.
Thank you Rinpoche. My favourite line from the post would be:
“From keeping your commitments/promises, you gain integrity. From integrity, you gain respect.”
This line struck me the hardest. I’ve always tried to wiggle myself out of any responsibilities because I just refuse to grow up and take on ‘adult matters’ into my own hands. I was just too comfortable in my own ‘comfort zone’. Leeching of my family everyday and not contributing in any way. How selfish of me! I’m so selfish it’s disgusting. I find myself asking this question everyday: “What have you accomplished so far in your life?”. The response i get from myself is nothing short of positive. All that will change!
I’ve recently made a vow and a promise to myself that i tend to keep till the day I die. I WILL make sure I see myself through it.
Thank you Rinpoche for the post. This is just what I needed to hear at this very moment. Thank you Rinpoche. Thank you for always inspiring me to be a better person. Still myself, but BETTER.
Much care,Jess.
Thank you Rinpoche for this teaching that is applicable to everyone, regardless of age. Parents should read it over and over again to make sure they understood and put the teachings into practice. More importantly, our children brought up with this same value.
I remembered several years ago , Rinpoche gave a talk on Guru /student relationship.Rinpoche mentioned that it entails nothing complicated nor demand high levels of spirituality to maintain such a relationship for it to be beneficial.All that the student need to do is to be honest.To mean what we say.To follow through what one promises or had agreed without left and right turns. Integrity is born from honesty and sincerity.
If we are not honest, not follow advice or try to hide from someone special whom we take refuge in, whom we have accepted as our protector,how can we be honest to anyone else less than such a being?
Hence, if we need to be reminded by our Guru to finish assignments,etc it is a clear sign / reflection we have not much integrity.Who will believe we can hold vows ? We will live in our world where few people respect us and what we say will have little consequence.
In a nut shell… the secret to happiness with ourselves, the feeling of worthiness, loved, trusted, respected etc… is having “integrity” – keeping commitments and promises we’ve made. If one has integrity then there will be results and naturally comes the positive.
When we don’t mean what we say and not say what we mean, slowly but surely we will lose respect and even we ourselves will not respect ourselves, then depression sets in.
Yes means Yes and No means No. It is very simple.
All assignments given by a Guru is not just an assignment, big or small, they are all the same and not just a task/assignment but a path in discovering or realising ones potential or overcoming ones weakness/obstacles that hinders one’s progress. Hence it should be done with care and of course with full integrity always. In the end we are not fooling anybody but ourselves if we have no integrity and at the time of death, we’ll have many regrets that not even our Lama can help take away.
Dear Rinpoche,
Yes. We could be a very brilliant person but we couldn’t earn respect from people by solely brilliant. Integrity is the key to earn respect and love from people around us.
I guess we always think that our intelligence can cover up our laziness and thus we don’t really care about the promises we have made. We think that people will respect us as long as we are smart and we could get the job done, we don’t have to keep our promises. This is out of arrogant for sure and that’s why we don’t really sucess in our life. We sucess in life not just because we are smart, but beacause we are a loving person who gain respect and love from others, we care/love and respect others as well.
Thank you Rinpoche.
With folded hands,
Abby.
Integrity is very important whether in our secular or spiritual life. I always believe that if we are honest, people will trust and respect us.Life is a challenge, at times we do make mistakes, so we should just be honest and admit and learn from the mistakes so that it won’t happened again. It’s no point trying to cover up mistakes and have to spend time trying to justify and covering up the mistakes.
When given an assignment,a committed person will do his/her work diligently without having to be pushed, begged, coaxed into doing it. A promise is a promise and not meant to be broken. If it is meant to be broken, why then make a promise in the first place and break it eventually.
I stick by my principle that in life, honesty is the best policy.
I think everyone has tremendous unspoken integrity towards our pleasures, the easy way out, procrastination and forgetfulness. There are many times, I have been guilty of one of these and it has brought my downfall.
It is this superb teaching that reminds me that I am better than that and I should do more to honor my word of honor. It is a long drawn out battle to overcome these petty excuses and do more to overcome them. I had some success and failures. With more practice, I look forward towards gathering more successes than failures.
David, LOL @ what you said re “having tremendous unspoken integrity towards our pleasures, the easy way out…” I am way too familiar with that feeling.
Rinpoche has given a wonderful teaching once on how we ALL HAVE DEVOTION. We are very devoted to our stomachs in our search for the best meals. We’re very devoted to our girlfriends or boyfriends, or in our constant lifelong search for relationships. We are very devoted to our bank accounts – filling it up, maintaining it, keeping it safe from anyone, to the houses we spend our whole lives paying off, and to even sillier, nonsensical things that really are not more than that – JUST THINGS.
We have it in us to be devoted and committed, to meditate single pointedly on something that we love well enough. So now, we just need to redirect it something much higher with a much higher return. It’s like a stupid person being very very devoted to looking after a small piece of gold, when the rest of the village has discovered a gold mine just a short way away! It’s very much like that book The Pearl by John Steinbeck – how perfectly that illustrates a human’s total devotion and obsession with something so small that it leads to nothing but unhappiness.
Imagine how much fervour and passion we put into things in our lives. I daresay EVERYONE has dedication and commitment towards something. Even doing nothing and being a loser is a kind of dedication and commitment – we’re very dedicated and devoted to our lazy ways and maintaining a safe, comfortable comfort zone. That takes a different kind of effort too. Imagine how much more we’d achieve if we directed it towards something that was actually important – our work, our existing friendships and relationships with people we value, and of course, our spiritual practice.
I think we all have it in us to accomplish this. If we didn’t, then there is no more Buddha nature or Buddha potential. It would mean we’re all just destined towards achieving nothing. So yes… I guess perhaps the next time we’re obsessing over the next big thing – a relationships, an expensive THING, our bank accounts, having another child etc – perhaps we could try something new and redirect it towards a higher goal – a spiritual practice, or improving something great that we already have, like our existing relationships ,careers and practice.
Thanks Jamie for sharing this.
While reading both David and you’s comments I got enlightened, light switched on: I am totally devoted, I know exactly what devotion is, all this while I have been trying to figure devotion out, but I know now that I know what it means to be devoted… I am an expert in devotion, in integrity, in effort, even in joyful effort, in patience, in single pointed concentration… An expert, Olympic kind of level expert!
Only one little flaw… the object my devotion is not potent.
Ayooohhhh… so hard to rotate the switch from “mundane” and put the mark on “supra-mundane”, the switch is kindda stuck…
Dear Rinpoche,
I totally agree with what you say. It’s our choice to do our work/assignments well, or to give excuses and blame others for our own laziness. A promise IS a promise. It’s very easy to come up with excuses but how many times can we do it before we lose all the trust and respect that others have for us. Once we loses that, it’ll be very hard to earn it back. Some might say, it’s ok, I don’t need other people to respect me. It’s actually not so much on how others look at us. It’s us being responsible for ourselves. If we keep on creating such bad habituations and breaking our promises, we are actually creating bad imprints that will be brought on to our next lives (if we’re lucky enough to get rebirth.in the human form). Then it’ll be harder for us to break that habit, because we’ve been lazy and irresponsible for many lifetimes.Thank you Rinpoche for this kind reminder.
Joe
According to certain definitions, integrity is a concept. One of consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, principles, expectations, and outcomes. In ethics, integrity is regarded as the honesty and truthfulness or accuracy of one’s actions. Either way, I believe completely in all the above and that they need to be married into our everyday way of life. We are answerable to all our own doings and only we can undo all that is undesirable within ourselves. “Dharma is fighting your bad habits and developing MORE GOOD HABITS AND KEEPING THEM.” This rang true loud and clear. Thank you very much for the teaching, Rinpoche.
much respect + care…
Thank you Rinpoche for Rinpoche’s teaching about integrity.
It is true, integrity is very important as it is one of the key ingredient that forms the foundation of sustainable and fruitful relationships.
Besides developing healthy and valuable relationship with others, integrity is also very vital in developing our relationship with OURSELVES. I trust that we are all smart and realize a lot about ourselves, perhaps much more than we would like to admit. Thus, individuals who lack integrity will eventually develop a low view of themselves as the result of their actions will inevitably manifest based on the law of caues and effect. This low view will form low self-esteem, poor confidence etc. that creates a downward spiral with increasing momentum.
Thus, although it seems easier to hide at the beginning, this is a shortsighted approach. We will eventually have to take on the responsibility of our actions which builds up dangerously like a pressure-cooker over time.
Thank you Rinpoche for this teaching and reminder to always keep our promises.
One would think that having integrity as being the essential quality to a fruitful and happy life was common sense, but I guess common sense is not all that common. And even though many of us know this or wish this of others, we have to look at ourselves to see of we have this quality ourself before we can expect this of others. This is a lovely teaching to instill in our children too. Thank you again!
Dear Rinpoche, since coming into contact with the Dharma and your teachings, it has really emphasised the importance of keeping your promises, not letting people down and doing what you say you are going to do. I try to keep promises now, however I still need to get better, as my memory sometimes lets me down! Thanks for teaching such an important message.
There are so many obstacles to get Kechara Forest Retreat up…many challenges, many logistics, much planning, plenty of hard work. Everyone in Kechara will have to be involved deeply in this project then we will see it fruition perfectly. Not just in agreement, words and prayers, but also in deeds, in work, in action in consistent harmonious work…and then of course we need prayers…if you are elderly, ill or live in foreign countries send me your Tara prayers please… I ask everyone to join me in this please. Tsem Rinpoche
I will definitely send my prayers! I’ll pledge to recite the Sanghata Sutra 150 times to help clear the obstacles to the KFR.
Dear Don, Fantastic. Thank you very much. TR
thanks you so much RInpoche!!!!!
Dear Rinpoche, what I’ve learned from this post is kind of straight-forward: never break promises that I have made, never be selective in doing dharma works that have been assigned to, and never give up no matter how difficult the assignments could be.
Dear Koh, very very very clear and clean understanding of my points. No matter what work you do, you should do it in the attitude of the way you summarized it here. Thank you very much. TR
Thank you Rinpoche for your advice. Thank you.
IN PRAISE OF THE PATH OF SLACKING – Surely there must be an exception to this cruel lesson of responsibility for the poets and slackers amongst us. People are different and not everyone is put together to get up before noon. Therefore, I declare that there is merit to reading a book of poetry while others toil in the field. It only SEEMS this is a lack of responsibility from the point of view of those laboring under the delusion (as well as under the sun)that the appreciation of poetry is not a worthy calling. And just as there is merit to being a poet, there is merit to being a slacker. Give up the responsibilities associated with being a homeowner, a wage earner and a breeder and you end up with a pretty good candidate for an ordained member of the sangha.
Dear Maximo, LOL. I like what you wrote. Any work is fine…poetry or toiling in the fields. It’s the true motivation behind it, the results that speak for itself and the eventual benefits it brings..that is all…Yes Sangha with true motivation is a very good option. One word of warning…. A sangha’s life is not peaceful, laid back and easy. It is alot more work. Alot of responsibilities you couldn’t imagine. At lease it is for me..hehehe..Thanks for feedback. TR
Dear Rinpoche,
I think a person shall be responsible for whatever he/she had promised.
Everyone like other people to keep their promise to them. But very few like to keep their own promise to others. But, what goes around comes around. The only way for us to expect people keep their promises to us is that we must make sure we fulfilled our promise to them.
I have a question here, if let say they know that they are lacking capability to complete a certain task in time, will this be their responsibility to reject it so that this task can be assign to someone who are capable to complete it? Or they should take on the task as challege but knowing that they may jeopardize the task with their current capability.
Thanks Rinpoche
Dear Khoo, If you are not capable then you have a few options:
1. Take on the task and ask someone else to officially help you.
2. Don’t take on the task, but take another task or even two to cover what you could not do.
Most important is honesty and sincerity. TR
Thanks Rinpoche for the advise. I know what I can do now. Lacking of capability should never be my excuse to avoid a task. I can seek help from others who are more capable, and in return I can help them back with their tasks that I’m capable of doing. In fact, I should keep helping others because I will never know when I will be needing their helps.
Integrity is a quality that is respected and appreciated by everyone, in any organisation. It is one of the key elements for success in one’s personal or professional life. It is the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles.
It is most important quality for a both nuns and monks. It is essential. TR
From Thierry Janssens written on blog: Thank you Rinpoche. It is remarkable how from a mind polluted by un-finished assignment, non-fulfilled commitments, immediately defensiveness arises, like a reflex… making things worse… Not an easy habit to battle against, but a battle worth its result. Dixit Rinpoche : “After all, what is dharma? Dharma is fighting your bad habits and developing MORE GOOD HABITS AND KEEPING THEM.” Thank you.
Dear Don, I do not debate with what you say. I understand exactly what you are saying. As my teacher says, just because people around you are not honest or keep their promises it does not mean we don’t have to. It should inspire us to do so even more so because we see the harm it does Like seeing the sick in the hospital inspires us to keep healthy.. It may see this sort of behaviour more and more obvious in this day and age, but our spiritual convictions should be held steadfast with great humility and without any attitude of righteousness. After all, karma is karma and it’s individually created. I agree with my teacher 100% not just because he said so, but it makes sense. At the end of the day, I want to respect myself.TR
I’ve found that in the US, excuses are an art form. From the President on down, everyone passes the buck or blames others for their failings – or making promises they have no intentions of keeping.
Rinpoche and the Dharma have taught me that integrity is one of the keys to a happier life. I remember an old saying: “Don’t make promises life won’t let you keep.” If we all work to stand true to what we say, the world would be a much better place.
Thank you, Rinpoche!
Thank you Rinpoche for this post.
From my experience, not fulfilling my share, my commitment, my promise is embarrassing and leads to cover-up, to pretending, to hiding. Not having integrity makes me a person that I do not like to think about and that I try to disguise with a clumsy make-up of excuses that fool nobody.
I do not demonstrate respect towards the people that I engaged with.
I loose respect for me.
Others loose respect towards me.
Then, the opposite experience is that when I fulfill my commitment, when I finish something that I took responsibility for, something that I have been entrusted with, then I feel self-worth and I create causes for others to respect me, for others not to fear me.
From the result I have experienced, it is clear that the first experience brings me down to a point of depression, and the second gives me more energy to do even more.
Thierry, In this post I wasn’t at all trying to say I am better than others or others are bad and should have integrity. Not at all. I wanted to share with people how in the last 20 years of teaching, what quality I saw in people that made it easier for me to relate to them, to do work with them and to complete big projects. There are just some people I love planning and working with because I know whatever we plan, they will do their part. I really appreciate that. I really like to be close with people who keep their promises, commitments and agreemants. It is just so much less emotions and work when you can just relax in whatever they say. I guess for me that goes to top 5 qualities I look for in others to do work with them, hang out with them, get close with them and let them into my inner world if I may say. I like very much what you shared here. Thank you. Tsem Rinpoche
What struck me is the following:
1. The formula is very simple: holding our commitments means we gain integrity, which brings us respect
2. Do unto others what you would like done unto yourself – I like people to keep their promises to me. I like people to hold their commitments to me. So why shouldn’t other people like me to keep my promises and commitments to them? If I cannot solve all their problems, then me keeping my promises to them is the easiest way for me to be kind to them.
3. If that is what Dharma is, then who can argue against Dharma? Dharma is applicable to everybody, no matter what religion, faith or background you come from…after all, what is wrong with being resposible, having integrity and gaining respect? Therefore Dharma is ultimately about transforming to change our habits, so we improve our lives and also other people’s lives by being kind to them and not hurting them
4. The formula is very common sense but many people still struggle to do it. Why? Because we’re comfortable in our negative habituations but look at where it has got us. If our own formula for success was correct, then we wouldn’t need Dharma but why did we join Dharma? We didn’t join because everything was hunky dory; we joined because our own methods were failing and we needed help. So why join to seek help, but then reject the help? It’s like going to the doctor and saying, “Nope, I don’t want the medicine.”
In reality, our struggles and obstacles are all self-created. We already have nothing to lose, and our own methods to success didn’t work, so why not just trust the lama and go all the way with it?
Precious teacher at you feet I bow.
Thank you
Dear Rinpoche,
Yes without integrity, we will constantly be wasting time in telling why we cannot keep our promises or do not get our responsibilities accomplished. Instead of wasting valuable time telling stories of why not, it is imperative to set our energies to fulfilling our promises and commitments.
I do my best NOT to live on the premise of CANNOT but rather WHY NOT? Gives me challenges which are tough at times but worth having tried and succeed. Even if I have failed, I have learnt from having tried and the next time around will do better.
Assignment from our Guru is not just an assignment but a practice or puja for us, many time all the assignment are to purify our negative karma and to avert something bad to happen in the future so that we can continue to practice Dharma.
In daily work, to our boss or customer we have to keep our promise as well. If we can keep our promises, wherever we go will be fine.
Just like what Rinpoche had said recently, when death come, we can’t sweet talk or do anything to change the situation, what we have done will come back to us good and bad.
As a child , I was dead serious about keeping promises – promises from others and to others. I was disappointed at times when adults failed to keep their promises.
I like people mean what they say. It makes life less complicated and get things done smoothly.
Integrity is definitely a quality for us to develop if we wish others to believe and respect us.If we don’t set the example, how can we expect this from others ?
I can relate to your feelings YF. As a child, I saw too many promises broken within people around me. It made me sad but I was helpless as I was not able to change the situation. It made me angry at times. It was then that I told myself that I will keep my promises and deliver what i commit. I was too young to understand karma, but seeing the results of those with no integrity scared me and I did not want to end up like them. That was what scared me; no friends, no respect, and even their immediate family members stayed away from them.
Now that I have met the dharma and understand the workings of karma, it is even a stronger conviction now that I must deliver what I promise.
Dear Rinpoche,
Yes, it’s true, we need to have integrity in our life, not only for Dharma works, but for everything we have promised in our life. Finding reasons to explain why we can’t achieve out of laziness is a waste of time.
Doing Dharma works especially needs integrity because it’s not about us, or people we know, it’s about benefiting other people who we might not directly know. It’s important as any Dharma works, the effects is “public”, and it’s not just a personal practice’s issue.
We should also be aware of what we have promised and fulfill it, not just for the sake of looking good at the moment of promising.
Thank you Rinpoche for writing your thoughts which reflects our laziness and bad habits.
Having integrity is having success in lives.
Yes, this is such a simple formula: Keeping commitment -> Integrity -> Respect.
I find myself many times try to create a different formula, but it never worked. I thought there is shortcut but fail miserably when trying the shortcut.
This is no trick, but of course there is hard work, but then again, making excuses and covering it up is also a lot of hard work. Why not do something that bring benefits to others?
Also, I find myself very selective and set my own priority (instead of Guru’s priority) when it comes to Dharma instructions. At times when I get instructions from Guru and in my mind I form my own priority. This is something I am still working on.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing tirelessly your thoughts.
I think integrity is more important than a bunch of diploma and title. Of course it would be possible to know if a person I met or want to employ has integrity or not on the first meeting but knowing or working with the person over time will tell. So, if that person has the impressive diploma and title but the attitude is bad, I prefer to stay away or let him/her go if he/she was employed by me. Name, fame, position, power, wealth etc do come when there is integrity. I do my best to keep promises and at times when I slipped, I resolve not to repeat the mistakes and promises made.
What Rinpoche said here is absolutely true. In life, everyone wants a stable mind, a happy mind, a mind that does not harbour further pain and suffering. Somehow, and a lot of the times, our habits and actions are exactly contrary to achieving this state of mind.
We break promises, and we repeat it again and again, we give thousands of reasons and we are stubborn. What’s more, we want people to have empathy on ourselves and we end up in a vicious cycle of explaination and justifications.
There are many factors that contribute to success in one’s life, human factors (factors created by others and the one created by ourselves) and external environmental factors.
We can’t control much on environmental factors and the factors created by others,some like you and give you a chance but others may hate you and purposedly not give you an opportunity. But I think the least we can do is to DO OUR PART. To control the part we can play well in SUCCESS.
What Rinpoche shared here is the truth for everything. Committment to what we do and DO IT WELL, never be reminded of what we are asked to do or have promised to do. Then we will gain respect and be liked by others, and hence forth a peace in mind.
It is actually a very “simple” formula in life, and many of us including myself have slipped so many times,sometimes we just have to think we are doing this for “OURSELVES”, for our own personal as well as spiritual growth, even though the task may seem difficult, rediculous or mundane and not challenging enough, or we don’t like the task, or we dont like the person giving the task; whatever it is, if we take on the task, we must finish it, and give that extra flavour…..”extra well done” flavour!
Thank you Rinpoche for constantly and tirelessly guilding us in the right path to success.
Dear Tsem Rinpoche… Sometimes, would it be that a leader didn’t communicate to or convince someone clearly enough in the right way… And that creates doubt in the subordinate’s heart so he or she may find an instruction hard to fully perform with heart? Even the leader sometimes need to think for others too… And especially so with their capability… The best leaders usually attract people to look up to them because of their charisma and sense that promises to bring you up… and earn their subordinates’ work loyalty because they will make it meaningful for the people and the people are confident the leader would do it in the best way for them and the leaders exude or communicates that clearly.The people are weak and that’s why they aren’t the ones being admired… As leaders, have they thought about their ways, manners and weaknesses in doing things too…?
Dear Learn, sometimes leaders are wrong. Sometimes subordinates are wrong. We cannot make one statement that fits every situation. We have to listen to the situation carefully and then only can we determine. My talks are for overall mind training. For overall dharma practice. Not all leaders have charisma and can communicate perfectly. But if the leader is a good person, then why don’t we help them in their work. Can we do what they are doing? If we cannot we should think how to help. TR
Good morning! A very beautiful Sunday and rejoice for Rinpoche’s teaching. I love this statement: ‘Dharma is fighting your bad habits and developing MORE GOOD HABITS AND KEEPING THEM.’ Let all of us do more Dharma work together 🙂