This will change your life… | 这将会改变你的生命……
（译文请往下阅读）
Dear friends,
This was sent to me by Sharon Saw who really can find wonderful life changing experiences to ponder. Whatever Dr. Teo is describing can be applied to any of us in whatever career we are doing. Whether we live to 40 or 80, it is still the same. I am thankful Dr. Teo used the last part of his life to speak from his heart and the truth of his realizations. Dr. Teo understood the real purpose and happiness of life for everyone, but unfortunately too late. I wish him well for the hereafter. He shares with us from his compassion hoping we will do something with our lives that is just more than what we are thinking it is or maybe avoiding more because we have unnecessary reasons? Whatever it is, please read this and share with others. It could make a difference between ‘living’ and living. Thank you all very much for reading this article. Thank you Dr. Teo for speaking the truth from a totally secular layman’s view which is universal truth and benefits us all irregardless of race, religion or creed. I will share this with many. May help them to see life differently and their priorities change.
Tsem Rinpoche
This is the video of Dr. Richard Teo’s talk
这是张庆祥医生的演讲视频
Or view the video on Youtube at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umLkfADe17s
你也可在Youtube上观赏视频：http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umLkfADe17s
Read the video transcript: [English] [Chinese]
(English Transcript of Dr Teo’s talk)
Below is the transcript of the talk of Dr. Richard Teo, who is a 40-year-old millionaire and cosmetic surgeon with a stage-4 lung cancer but selflessly came to share with the D1 class his life experience on 19-Jan-2012.
Hi good morning to all of you. My voice is a bit hoarse, so please bear with me. I thought I’ll just introduce myself. My name is Richard, I’m a medical doctor. And I thought I’ll just share some thoughts of my life. It’s my pleasure to be invited by prof. Hopefully, it can get you thinking about how… as you pursue this.. embarking on your training to become dental surgeons, to think about other things as well.
Since young, I am a typical product of today’s society. Relatively successful product that society requires.. From young, I came from a below average family. I was told by the media… and people around me that happiness is about success. And that success is about being wealthy. With this mind-set, I’ve always be extremely competitive, since I was young.
Not only do I need to go to the top school, I need to have success in all fields. Uniform groups, track, everything. I needed to get trophies, needed to be successful, I needed to have colours award, national colours award, everything. So I was highly competitive since young. I went on to medical school, graduated as a doctor. Some of you may know that within the medical faculty, ophthalmology is one of the most highly sought after specialities. So I went after that as well. I was given a traineeship in ophthalmology, I was also given a research scholarship by NUS to develop lasers to treat the eye.
So in the process, I was given 2 patents, one for the medical devices, and another for the lasers. And you know what, all this academic achievements did not bring me any wealth. So once I completed my bond with MOH, I decided that this is taking too long, the training in eye surgery is just taking too long. And there’s lots of money to be made in the private sector. If you’re aware, in the last few years, there is this rise in aesthetic medicine. Tons of money to be made there. So I decided, well, enough of staying in institution, it’s time to leave. So I quit my training halfway and I went on to set up my aesthetic clinic… in town, together with a day surgery centre.
You know the irony is that people do not make heroes out average GP (general practitioner), family physicians. They don’t. They make heroes out of people who are rich and famous. People who are not happy to pay $20 to see a GP, the same person have no qualms paying ten thousand dollars for a liposuction, 15 thousand dollars for a breast augmentation, and so on and so forth. So it’s a no brainer isn’t? Why do you want to be a gp? Become an aesthetic physician. So instead of healing the sick and ill, I decided that I’ll become a glorified beautician. So, business was good, very good. It started off with waiting of one week, then became 3weeks, then one month, then 2 months, then 3 months. I was overwhelmed; there were just too many patients. Vanities are fantastic business. I employed one doctor, the second doctor, the 3rd doctor, the 4th doctor. And within the 1st year, we’re already raking in millions. Just the 1st year. But never is enough because I was so obsessed with it. I started to expand into Indonesia to get all the rich Indonesian tai-tais who wouldn’t blink an eye to have a procedure done. So life was really good.
So what do I do with the spare cash. How do I spend my weekends? Typically, I’ll have car club gatherings. I take out my track car, with spare cash I got myself a track car. We have car club gatherings. We’ll go up to Sepang in Malaysia. We’ll go for car racing. And it was my life. With other spare cash, what do i do? I get myself a Ferrari. At that time, the 458 wasn’t out, it’s just a spider convertible, 430. This is a friend of mine, a schoolmate who is a forex trader, a banker. So he got a red one, he was wanting all along a red one, I was getting the silver one.
So what do I do after getting a car? It’s time to buy a house, to build our own bungalows. So we go around looking for a land to build our own bungalows, we went around hunting. So how do i live my life? Well, we all think we have to mix around with the rich and famous. This is one of the Miss Universe. So we hang around with the beautiful, rich and famous. This by the way is an internet founder. So this is how we spend our lives, with dining and all the restaurants and Michelin Chefs you know.
So I reach a point in life that I got everything for my life. I was at the pinnacle of my career and all. That’s me one year ago in the gym and I thought I was like, having everything under control and reaching the pinnacle.
Well, I was wrong. I didn’t have everything under control. About last year March, I started to develop backache in the middle of nowhere. I thought maybe it was all the heavy squats I was doing. So I went to SGH, saw my classmate to do an MRI, to make sure it’s not a slipped disc or anything. And that evening, he called me up and said that we found bone marrow replacement in your spine. I said, sorry what does that mean? I mean I know what it means, but I couldn’t accept that. I was like “Are you serious?” I was still running around going to the gym you know. But we had more scans the next day, PET scans – positrons emission scans, they found that actually I have stage 4 terminal lung cancer. I was like “Whoa where did that come from?” It has already spread to the brain, the spine, the liver and the adrenals. And you know one moment I was there, totally thinking that I have everything under control, thinking that I’ve reached the pinnacle of my life. But the next moment, I have just lost it.
This is a CT scan of the lungs itself. If you look at it, every single dot there is a tumour. We call this miliaries tumour. And in fact, I have tens of thousands of them in the lungs. So, I was told that even with chemotherapy, that I’ll have about 3-4months at most. Did my life come crushing on, of course it did, who wouldn’t? I went into depression, of course, severe depression and I thought I had everything.
See the irony is that all these things that I have, the success, the trophies, my cars, my house and all. I thought that brought me happiness. But i was feeling really down, having severe depression. Having all these thoughts of my possessions, they brought me no joy. The thought of… You know, I can hug my Ferrari to sleep, no… No, it is not going to happen. It brought not a single comfort during my last ten months. And I thought they were, but they were not true happiness. But it wasn’t. What really brought me joy in the last ten months was interaction with people, my loved ones, friends, people who genuinely care about me, they laugh and cry with me, and they are able to identify the pain and suffering I was going through. That brought joy to me, happiness. None of the things I have, all the possessions, and I thought those were supposed to bring me happiness. But it didn’t, because if it did, I would have felt happy think about it, when I was feeling most down.
You know the classical Chinese New Year that is coming up. In the past, what do I do? Well, I will usually drive my flashy car to do my rounds, visit my relatives, to show it off to my friends. And I thought that was joy, you know. I thought that was really joy. But do you really think that my relatives and friends, whom some of them have difficulty trying to make ends meet, that will truly share the joy with me? Seeing me driving my flashy car and showing off to them? No, no way. They won’t be sharing joy with me. They were having problems trying to make ends meet, taking public transport. In fact i think, what I have done is more like you know, making them envious, jealous of all I have. In fact, sometimes even hatred.
Those are what we call objects of envy. I have them, I show them off to them and I feel it can fill my own pride and ego. That didn’t bring any joy to these people, to my friends and relatives, and I thought they were real joy.
Well, let me just share another story with you. You know when I was about your age, I stayed in king Edward VII hall. I had this friend whom I thought was strange. Her name is Jennifer, we’re still good friends. And as I walk along the path, she would, if she sees a snail, she would actually pick up the snail and put it along the grass patch. I was like why do you need to do that? Why dirty your hands? It’s just a snail. The truth is she could feel for the snail. The thought of being crushed to death is real to her, but to me it’s just a snail. If you can’t get out of the pathway of humans then you deserve to be crushed, it’s part of evolution isn’t it? What an irony isn’t it?
There I was being trained as a doctor, to be compassionate, to be able to empathise; but I couldn’t. As a house officer, I graduated from medical school, posted to the oncology department at NUH. And, every day, every other day I witness death in the cancer department. When I see how they suffered, I see all the pain they went through. I see all the morphine they have to press every few minutes just to relieve their pain. I see them struggling with their oxygen breathing their last breath and all. But it was just a job. When I went to clinic every day, to the wards every day, take blood, give the medication but was the patient real to me? They weren’t real to me. It was just a job, I do it, I get out of the ward, I can’t wait to get home, I do my own stuff.
Was the pain, was the suffering the patients went through real? No. Of course I know all the medical terms to describe how they feel, all the suffering they went through. But in truth, I did not know how they feel, not until I became a patient. It is until now; I truly understand how they feel. And, if you ask me, would I have been a very different doctor if I were to re-live my life now, I can tell you yes I will. Because I truly understand how the patients feel now. And sometimes, you have to learn it the hard way.
Even as you start just your first year, and you embark this journey to become dental surgeons, let me just challenge you on two fronts.
Inevitably, all of you here will start to go into private practice. You will start to accumulate wealth. I can guarantee you. Just doing an implant can bring you thousands of dollars, it’s fantastic money. And actually there is nothing wrong with being successful, with being rich or wealthy, absolutely nothing wrong. The only trouble is that a lot of us like myself couldn’t handle it.
Why do I say that? Because when I start to accumulate, the more I have, the more I want. The more I wanted, the more obsessed I became. Like what I showed you earlier on, all I can was basically to get more possessions, to reach the pinnacle of what society did to us, of what society wants us to be. I became so obsessed that nothing else really mattered to me. Patients were just a source of income, and I tried to squeeze every single cent out of these patients.
A lot of times we forget, whom we are supposed to be serving. We become so lost that we serve nobody else but just ourselves. That was what happened to me. Whether it is in the medical, the dental fraternity, I can tell you, right now in the private practice, sometimes we just advise patients on treatment that is not indicated. Grey areas. And even though it is not necessary, we kind of advocate it. Even at this point, I know who are my friends and who genuinely cared for me and who are the ones who try to make money out of me by selling me “hope”. We kind of lose our moral compass along the way. Because we just want to make money.
Worse, I can tell you, over the last few years, we bad mouth our fellow colleagues, our fellow competitors in the industry. We have no qualms about it. So if we can put them down to give ourselves an advantage, we do it. And that’s what happening right now, medical, dental everywhere. My challenge to you is not to lose that moral compass. I learnt it the hard way, I hope you don’t ever have to do it.
Secondly, a lot of us will start to get numb to our patients as we start to practise. Whether is it government hospitals, private practice, I can tell you when I was in the hospital, with stacks of patient folders, I can’t wait to get rid of those folders as soon as possible; I can’t wait to get patients out of my consultation room as soon as possible because there is just so many, and that’s a reality. Because it becomes a job, a very routine job. And this is just part of it. Do I truly know how the patient feels back then? No, I don’t. The fears and anxiety and all, do I truly understand what they are going through? I don’t, not until when this happens to me and I think that is one of the biggest flaws in our system.
We’re being trained to be healthcare providers, professional, and all and yet we don’t know how exactly they feel. I’m not asking you to get involved emotionally, I don’t think that is professional but do we actually make a real effort to understand their pain and all? Most of us won’t, alright, I can assure you. So don’t lose it, my challenge to you is to always be able to put yourself in your patient’s shoes.
Because the pain, the anxiety, the fear are very real even though it’s not real to you, it’s real to them. So don’t lose it and you know, right now I’m in the midst of my 5th cycle of my chemotherapy. I can tell you it’s a terrible feeling. Chemotherapy is one of those things that you don’t wish even your enemies to go through because it’s just suffering, lousy feeling, throwing out, you don’t even know if you can retain your meals or not. Terrible feeling! And even with whatever little energy now I have, I try to reach out to other cancer patients because I truly understand what pain and suffering is like. But it’s kind of little too late and too little.
You guys have a bright future ahead of you with all the resource and energy, so I’m going to challenge you to go beyond your immediate patients. To understand that there are people out there who are truly in pain, truly in hardship. Don’t get the idea that only poor people suffer. It is not true. A lot of these poor people do not have much in the first place, they are easily contented. for all you know they are happier than you and me but there are out there, people who are suffering mentally, physically, hardship, emotionally, financially and so on and so forth, and they are real. We choose to ignore them or we just don’t want to know that they exist.
So do think about it alright, even as you go on to become professionals and dental surgeons and all. That you can reach out to these people who are in need. Whatever you do can make a large difference to them. I’m now at the receiving end so I know how it feels, someone who genuinely care for you, encourage and all. It makes a lot of difference to me. That’s what happens after treatment. I had a treatment recently, but I’ll leave this for another day. A lot of things happened along the way, that’s why I am still able to talk to you today.
I’ll just end of with this quote here, it’s from this book called Tuesdays with Morris, and some of you may have read it. Everyone knows that they are going to die; every one of us knows that. The truth is, none of us believe it because if we did, we will do things differently. When I faced death, when I had to, I stripped myself off all stuff totally and I focused only on what is essential. The irony is that a lot of times, only when we learn how to die then we learn how to live. I know it sounds very morbid for this morning but it’s the truth, this is what I’m going through.
Don’t let society tell you how to live. Don’t let the media tell you what you’re supposed to do. Those things happened to me. And I led this life thinking that these are going to bring me happiness. I hope that you will think about it and decide for yourself how you want to live your own life. Not according to what other people tell you to do, and you have to decide whether you want to serve yourself, whether you are going to make a difference in somebody else’s life. Because true happiness doesn’t come from serving yourself. I thought it was but it didn’t turn out that way. With that I thank you, if you have any questions you have for me, please feel free. Thank you.
(Chinese Transcript)
这将会改变你的生命……
亲爱的朋友们：
这是苏舒美寄给我的一篇文章，她总会找到一些能改变生命并引人深思的精彩故事。无论我们从事什么行业，张庆祥医生（Dr. Teo）所说的每一句话，都一样是可行的。无论我们的寿命是40或80岁，那都是一样的。我感谢张医生利用他生命的最后一段时间，说出这番发自内心的话，以及他个人所体悟的真理。张医生了解每个人生命的真正实目标和快乐，可惜已经太迟了。我希望他能有一个好的来世。他出于慈悲，跟我们分享了他的体悟，希望我们能善用生命来做一些事。生命其实比我们所认知为的还要多，然而我们也许会基于不必要的原因而逃避它。无论如何，请阅读这篇文章，并跟他人分享。那将会在“生存”和生活之间作出一些改变。感谢大家阅读这篇文章。感谢张医生以纯世俗人士的观点说出了这番普世真理，它将给我们带来好处，无论我们来自什么种族、宗教或信仰。我将会跟许多人分享这篇文，希望能协助他们以不同的眼光来看待生命，继而改变生命的重心。
詹仁波切
以下为张庆祥医生的演讲稿。张医生为一名40岁、，有着百万身家百万的整形外科医生。，虽然身患第四期肺癌，他依然无私地于2012年1月19日为D1班分享他的人生经历。
早安，大家好。我的嗓子有些沙哑，请大家多多包涵容。让我来自我介绍，我名叫Richard，是一名医生。我想跟大家分享我的人生经历。这次有幸受到教授的邀请，我希望能让你思考……当你追求这个……当你您展开一名口腔外科医生的训练的同时，也对另一些事情进行思考。
自小，我就是今日社会的典型产物，可说是社会所需的相当成功的产物……小时候，我来自一个低下阶层的家庭。媒体告诉我……身边的人总告诉我，快乐就是取得成功。成功则表示富有。这种想法让我自小就极具竞争的心理性。
我不仅要上最佳的学校，还要在每一个领域都取得成功。制服团体、田径等一切。我必须赢得奖牌，必须成功，我必须赢取年度杰出学生奖项、国家杰出学生奖项等，所以我自小就极具竞争心理。我考上医学院，毕业后成为一名医生。有些人也许知道，在医学领域当中，眼科是其中一个最吃香的专业，当然我也选择了这一科。我获得在眼科实习的机会，新加坡国立大学还颁了奖学金给我，研究开发治疗眼疾的激光设施。
在过程中，他们给了我两个专利，一个是医疗器材专利，另一个则是激光专利。然而，你知道吗，这一切学术成就并没有给我带来任何财富。因此所以，当我一结束卫生部的合约期限，我就觉得这耗费我太长的时间了，眼科手术训练太耗时了。而且在私人界服务能给我带来许多金钱。如果你有留意，过去几年，整形外科业取得相当蓬勃的发展，可说是一门能带来厚利的行业。所以，我跟自己说，我在学院已逗留太久，是时候离开了。因此所以，我在半途退出训练，转而开设自己的整形诊所……在城市里，同时还有一个日间外科中心。
要知道，人们并不把一般全科医生、家庭医生当英雄。他们把富有、著名的人士当英雄看待。那些不愿意花20元向全科医生求诊的人，却愿意花上一万元来进行抽脂手术，一万五千元来进行隆胸术等等。这是无知的，不是吗？为什么要当全科医生呢？当个整形医生就好了。因此，与其继续救治那些生病的人，我决定成为一名耀眼的美容业者。生意很好，非常好。刚开始时，只需要等一周，然后就变成三周，接着是一个月、两个月、三个月。我很惊讶，病人真是太多了。美容真是一门太不可思议的生意了。我聘请了一名医生，然后第二名、第三名、第四名。在一年内，我们就已经赚取了百万。只不过是第一年而已。然而，这永远都不会足够的，我简直是太着迷了。我开始将业务扩展至印尼，印尼的那些阔太太进行任何疗程时，简直是眨都不眨一眼。生活真是美好。
那我如何处置多余的金钱呢？我如何度过周末呢？基本上，我会参加汽车俱乐部的聚会。我会驾驶赛车，我将多余的钱用来购买了一辆轨道赛车。我们有汽车俱乐部聚会。我们会到马来西亚的雪邦去，参加赛车。这就是我的生活。其余的金钱，我又用来做什么呢？我为自己添购了一辆法拉利。当时458型号还未上市，只有Spider Convertible, 430。我有一个朋友，是一名外汇交易商和银行家。他拥有红色的，他一直都想要红色的，我的则是银色的。
拥有车子之后还要做些什么呢？是时候买间房子，建所别墅给自己了。因此所以，我们到处寻找土地以建立我们的别墅，我们到处寻找。那我又如何生活呢？我们都认为自己应该跟那些有钱有势的人混在一起。这是其中一位世界小姐。所以，我们跟那些美丽、富有和著名的人物混在一起。这位是网络公司创办人。这就是我们的生活，在餐厅和米其林星级厨师用餐。
我到了人生中要什么有什么的阶段。我处于事业的巅峰。大约一年前，我还在健身室里想着，我仿佛到达了巅峰，一切都在我的掌控之中内。
然而，我错了。我并没有让一切都在掌控之中。去年三月份左右，我开始无端端地感到背痛。我想那也许是因为我健身过度了。所以，我前往新加坡国立医院，看着同学为我进行磁共振，确保那不是椎间盘突出或其他的。那天晚上，他致电给我说，说我们在你的脊椎上发现骨髓替代。我说，对不起，你这是什么意思？我的意思是，我当然知道那意味着什么，但我无法接受。我的反应是“你是认真的吗？”我还到处去健身呢！然而，第二天我们展开了更多检查，PET扫描——正电子发射计算机断层扫描，他们发现我其实患上第四期的末期肺癌。我想“啊，这都是从哪里来的？”它已经转移到脑部、脊椎、肝脏和肾上腺了。我前一刻还以为一切都在自己的掌握中，认为自己正处于人生的巅峰，下一刻却什么都失去了。
这是肺部的断层扫描（CT）。看，每一个点都是一个肿瘤。我们把这些称为粟粒性肿瘤。事实上，在我的肺部有着成千上万个肿瘤。所以，我被告知即使进行化疗，顶多也只有3-4个月的寿命。我的生命变得支离破碎吗？当然，谁不会呢？我变得忧郁，当然，严重的忧郁，我曾经以为自己拥有一切。
讽刺的是这些我所拥有的东西，成功、奖牌、汽车、屋子和一切，我以为它们会带给我快乐，。但我情绪十分低落，严重忧郁。想着我所拥有的一切，它他们并没有带给我喜悦。这些想法……你知道吗，我可以抱着法拉利睡觉，不……这不会发生。在我最后的十个月里，它并没有带给我丝毫安慰。我曾经以为它们是，但它们并不是真正的快乐。它不是。在生命最后的十个月里，真正带给我喜悦的是跟人们的互动，跟那些我所爱的人、朋友、真正关心我的人的互动，他们陪我一起欢笑一起哭泣，他们能够感受我所经历的痛苦和煎熬。他们带给我喜悦、快乐。我所拥有的一切，没有一个能带给我快乐，虽然我曾经那样以为那样。其实它并没有，因为若有的话，在我感觉最恶劣的时候，想起它们理应会带给我快乐。
你知道农历新年就要到来了。在过去，你知道我做些什么吗？我通常会驾驶很炫的车子到处去，探访亲友，向朋友们炫耀。我以为那是快乐。我以为那是真正的喜悦。然而，你真的以为我的亲戚朋友，有些正在面对生活困难的，真的会分享我的喜悦吗？看着我驾驶着华丽的汽车向他们炫耀？不，不会的。他们不会分享我的喜悦。他们生活困苦，只使用公共交通。事实上，我认为我所作的，更像是引起他们的羡慕，让他们妒忌我所拥有的。其实，有时候甚至会惹来敌意。
那些就是我们所谓的妒忌的对象。我拥有它们，我向着他们炫耀，而觉得这能够满足我的骄傲和自我。这并没还有为这些人带来任何喜悦，我的朋友和亲戚，而我却以为他们是真的喜悦。
让我再跟你分享另一个故事。当我在你们这个年纪龄的时候，我在爱德华七世医学院。我有一个我认为很怪的朋友。她的名字是Jennifer，我们现在依然是好朋友。当我走在路上时，若她看到蜗牛，她会把它捡起来，放在草地上。我奇怪她为什么要那么做？为什么要弄脏自己的手？这只是一只蜗牛。真实的情况是她对蜗牛感同身受。那种被压碎致死的感觉对她来说是很真实的，但我却认为那只不过是只蜗牛。若你无法从自人类的路上离开，你就应该被压碎。这是进化的一部分，不是吗？这很讽刺，不是吗？
在那里，我被训练成为一名医生，要具有悲心、同理心，但我却无法做到。作为一名实习医生，我自医学院毕业后，在新加坡国立大学医院肿瘤科实习。每天，每隔一天我都在肿瘤部门见证死亡。我看着他们受折磨，看着他们痛苦，看着他们每隔几分钟就必须按钮使用吗啡来减轻痛苦。我看着他们挣扎着呼吸最后一口氧气。然而但这只是我的工作。我每天到诊所、进行病房抽血、开药，然而这些病人对我而言是真实的吗？他们对我而言不是真实的。那只是一份工作，我完成了，离开病房，我迫不及待地想要回家做自己的事。
那些病人所经历的痛苦和折磨是真的吗？不是的。我当然知道如何使用医学名词来形容他们的感觉和，他们所经历的痛苦。但事实上，我并不知道他们有什么感受，直到我自己成为一名病人为止。直到现在。我完全明白他们有什么感受。如果你问我，若有机会重新获得生命，我会不会是一名全然不同的医生？，我会告诉你：是的。因为我现在真的明白病人的感受了。然而，有些时候，你必须经历磨难来学习。
即使你才刚进入第一年，你刚展开成为一名口腔外科医生的旅程，让我从两方面来挑战你。
无可避免的，你们都要开始进入私人界服务。你将会开始累积财富。我能向你保证。只是一个植牙，就能给你带来几千元的收入。这是一笔不小的钱。而事实上，成功、有钱或富裕并没有错，完全没错。唯一的问题是，我们当中有许多人，就像我一样，并没有办法处理它。
我为什么这么说呢？因为当我开始累积的时候，我拥有得越多，我就想得到更多。我想要更多，我就益发变得执着。就像我刚才向你们显示的，我所能做的，就是拥有更多，攀达到社会的巅峰，成为社会要我们成为的那种个人。我是那么地执着，以至于什么都不重要了。病人只不过是收入的来源，我尝试在他们身上榨取每一分金钱。
许多时候我们都忘了，我们该服务的对象是什么人。我们是如此迷失，以至于我们除了自己，就不为任何人服务。这就是发生在我身上的事。无论是医学、牙医的同行，我能告诉你，目前在私人界，我们有时会建议病人接受一些不需要的治疗。那些灰色地带。即使那并不是必要的，我们却鼓励吹他们接受。到了这一刻，我知道哪一些人是我的朋友，什么人是真的关心我，又有哪些人只想要借着向我销售“希望”，而企图从我身上牟利。在这个道路上，我们似乎失去了道德的罗盘，因为以为我们只想要赚钱。
更甚的是，我可以告诉你，过去的几年中，我们说同事的坏话，说同行竞争对手的坏话。我们毫不犹豫地这么做。如果贬低他们能给我们带来好处，我们就会这么做。这等事仍在发生，在医疗行业里、牙科行业里，处处可见。我给你的挑战是别放弃道德准则。我走了很多冤枉路才学会这个道理，我希望你永远不必经历这一些事。
第二，当我们开始行医，我们当中的很多人会开始对我们的病人感到麻木。无论是政府医院还是私人界，我可以告诉你，过去我在医院值班时，我有着堆积成山的病人文件夹，我迫不及待地想尽早摆脱那些文件夹。我迫不及待地想让病人从咨询室中离开，因为病人的数量实在太多了，这就是现实状况。因为这一切成了一份工作，一份非常例常的工作。而这也只是其中一个部分。我真的知道病人有什么感受吗？不，我不知道。他们有着恐惧和焦虑和其他的。我是否真的理解他们的经历吗？我不理解，直到这一切发生在我身上，而我想这是我们系统里其中一个最大的瑕疵。
我们被训练成为医护人员、专业人士，而我们却不知道他们具体的感受。我并不是叫你涉及个人情绪，我不认为那是专业的态度，但我们是否真正努力去了解过他们的痛苦等呢？我们多数人都不会那么做，我能够向你担保这些。所以，不要失去它，我给你们的挑战，那就是经常设身处地为病人着想。
因为这些痛苦、焦虑、害怕都是十分真实的，即使对你来说并不真实，。对他们而言那是真实的。所以，别忘了，我目前正接受第五个疗程的化疗。我可以告诉你，那感觉糟透了。化疗是一项你甚至不希望自己的敌人去经历的过程，因为那纯然是痛苦、恶心、呕吐，你甚至不知道自己是否能够保留自己用过的一餐。感觉糟透了！而即使我目前身体极度衰弱，我依然尝试接触其他癌症患者，因为我完全明白那种痛苦和折磨是什么一回事。但这太迟了，所能作的也太少了。
你们前程似锦，拥有一切的资源和能力，所以我想挑战你们跨越目前的病人，去了解还有很多人正在受苦，正在经历困境。别以为只有穷人才受苦。这是错的。许多穷人由于所拥有的并不多，他们比较容易满足。你们都知道他们比你我都快乐，但外面头，还有人正受着精神、肉体、困境、情绪、财务等等的苦，而那都是真实的。我们往往选择去忽略他们，或我们只是不想知道那些人是存在的。
所以，好好想想，即使你将成为一名专业人士和口腔外科医生。你依然可以帮助那些有需要的人。你所做的任何事，都将为他们带来巨大的改变。我现在正是接受的一方，所以我了解那种感受，当有人真正关心你、鼓励你等的时候。那给我带来十分不同的体会。这是治疗后的事。我最近刚接受了一项治疗，但我会留待下一次再说。这个过程中发生了许多事，所以我今天才能够跟你们讲话。
我将以这句话作为结束。这摘自一本名为《相约星期二》（Tuesdays with Morris）的书。你们当中有些人也许读过了。每个人都知道自己终将死去；每个人都知道这件事。事实是，我们没有一个人相信它，因为若我们真的信了，我们必然会采取不同的方式来做事。当我面对死亡时，当我必须这么做时，我会放下一切，而只是专注在必要的事情上。讽刺的是，许多时候我们必须先学会死亡，才能学会生活。我知道在这样的一个清晨说这些话，听起来很病态，但那是真的，这是我所经历的。
别让人社会告诉你该如何生活。别让媒体告诉你，你该做些什么。这些事情都发生在我身上。而我一辈子都以为这些能给我带来快乐。我希望你会对此进行思考，并决定自己的人生该如何走下去，而。不是根据别人要你做的去做。，你必须决定自己是否只顾及自己，还是改变另一些人的生命。因为真正的快乐并不来自自私自利。我原以为如此，但事实却不是。谨此，如果你有任何问题，请提出。谢谢。
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Many of us were brought up the same way that we have to achieve success and it is being measured by money, status, fame, how big our houses are and etc. Everything is about materials but not inner growth. That is how our society view ‘success’ and no one think it is wrong. I appreciate Dr Richard sharing about his own life experience. It is indeed sad that he has to learn the hard way to realise that material and wealth are not the benchmark of success, it is not the ultimate happiness and our live is not only about serving our own happiness. All these will only bring temporary happiness. His sharing is a good reminder of what we want to achieve in this life, continue to indulge ourselves in a selfish world thinking this will bring us happiness and do more by focusing out. Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this article.
Inspiring story of Dr.Richard Teo a millionaire and cosmetic surgeon in his final journey of life. He had everything going good and spending his life luxury. He live the life of the rich and famous and get whatever he wanted. All of that suddenly it didn’t matter any more when he who had lived a lavish lifestyle was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Success is often associated with wealth and finery ,people always think that more money equals more respect and happiness. However, one cancer-stricken doctor managed to spread his message before succumbing to lung cancer. He realised that holding on to material possessions to be happy is wrong. Having all these thoughts of possessions, they brought him no happiness. What really brought him happiness was interaction with people who genuinely care about him, they laugh and cry with him, and they are the ones that able to identify the pain and the suffering he was going through.
Beautiful and inspiring message .
Thank you Rinpoche for this sharing.
Thank you so much for the timely reminder,I would like to start living life the way that i should in the first place,through our guru guidance.
Having wealth is not bad but gaining happiness through material possession is false happiness. The moment of death we suffer the most when we see our possession just right in front of our eyes but yet those material cannot do anything to save our life.
Thanks once again for sharing with us…..
This is really a very sad and touching video about Dr. Richard Teo. i have learned that in life money may not be able to buy true love and happiness. We have to realize impermanence and death. Thank you very much Rinpoche for sharing this article and video.
Many people including Dr Richard (at the beginning stage) have the perceptions that happiness is come from the material possessions such as money, cars, houses and etc etc. In fact, all of the material possessions and status are just to satisfy our desires and not happiness.
Very grateful that Dr Richard stood out and shared his life experience by letting people know that true happiness is not only focus on the material possessions and serving ourselves. Be compassionate and always think of others and understand others’ pain and suffering in mentally, physically, hardship, emotionally, financially and so forth. Letting go give us freedom and help us find the true happiness. Adversely, the more we focus only ourselves, the more suffering may have to go through. The choice is in our hands.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this inspiring story of Dr Richard and reminds me that only Dharma can help us especially when the death comes to us.
It’s good to read this article again. Things I have learnt about are:
1. He realised that cars, houses, money and all the possessions we have never able to make a person to enjoy real happiness. The only thing useful at the time of death is dharma, our relatives, friends, lovers, money, success, cars and etc actually have no meaning and not able to help us at all at the moment.
2. He is able to empathy on others’ sufferings, and each and everyone of us actually suffer, no matter you are rich or poor, what colour you are. We all suffer either mentally , emotionally or physically.
3. He realised that we gain real happiness by serving others. True happiness never comes from serving ourselves. He realised life should be more than making money, making our life more comfortable and buying more things.
4. It might too late for him to realise some truth about life, but those are teachings of Buddha that can apply to all of us, to make us view our life, live our life differently, in a more meaningful way. We might be fortunate to meet dharma and intellectually know the truth he shared but not able to realise it. However, glad that he is at peace when he shared with others on his journey and his life, instead of blaming others or not able to accept his illness. He was trying to make his life and his suffering more meaningful by helping others and trying to inspire others by his sharing.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing Dr. Richard Teo’s story.
Reviewing this blogpost on a powerfully moving speech by Dr Teo, I would like to add that his ability to speak up and warn the young graduates about not mindlessly following the crowd and go for wealth, fame and a good life of luxury and ease, at the expense of losing one’s moral compass and losing one’s abilty to empathize and be compassioate,shows that Dr Teo had regained all this even though in the last months of his life.
There is much kindness , care and compassion for even strangers and others to want to impart this beautiful message to them. There is much sense of selflessness in him. Yes, this is a speech that must surely change the lives of those listening to it. Unfortunately, if we do not take time to contemplate on what Dr Teo says here, in a little while we will have forgotten it.
THat’s why Rinpoche and the Lamrim keep reminding us to remember and meditate on death , so we won’t forget that we carry nothing with us to the next life, except the karma we have accumulated and the Dharma we have applied to our mind transformation.
A beautiful true story shared, I have seen patients suffered under cancer treatment ,at times I felt sad for them and lost of words at times. Most practitioners I have come across thinks of their profit but did not take a real effort to understand their patients pain. When we care for our patients, encourage them really makes a big difference in their life. In my line of duty I have seen many patients suffered in pain, fear, anxiety and very emotional. When we are in the patients shoe,, we can understand and feels the pain as well. As a health provider its only my duty to provide words of encouragement, help and care for them.
Dr.Richard Teo spoke the very truth ,to inspire the younger generations of furture doctors when embark on their journey to be in health professioner ,to think of others too. Do agree with Dr.Richard Teo in private practice doctors made lots of money but at the end of the day they are not happy in life. We go through life attaching to things, wanting them to last forever. But they don’t last anyway. .Over time, we just came to accept that all good things in life must end. Nothing is impermanent
Since we all know death is inevitable. To Live a meaningful life till to the fullness to learn and practice Dharma ,to transform ourselves, lighten up and makes us a better person.If you want happiness for a lifetime, helping, caring for others can change our life. We should always appreciate people when they are alive.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing these inspiring post and hope more people will be inspired . Saluting Dr Richard Teo, who have touched the lives of thousands on views of life at the end of his lives.At the time of writing he has passed away since in 2012.May he have a swift rebirth.
Thank You Rinpoche for sharing this meaningful article based on real story. I can feel the regret of Dr Teo. If life can rewind or go back, I believe he could do it differently. However, sometimes life does not take two. It was awaking story for me to think different of my life even I have gone through death (almost) before myself. It was well said by Dr Teo that everyone knows that death is inevitable but just that no one believe it. “only when we learn how to die then we learn how to live.”, it is ultimately true.
I can not stress that we should seize our golden opportunity to serve our Guru, learn Dharma and put them into practice to benefit more people and collect merits. It is easy to say than done. Everyone knows it but we choose to do not believe it.
Thank You Dr Teo for your generous sharing. It is really wake up call for me. I do not know when my life will end but I will start to make it more meaningful.
Dear Rinpoche , thanks for sharing this heart breaking real life story . I have seen this video before sometime ago and I cried while watching it . What Dr.Teo shared is so true and we are all trapped in this materialistic society trying to outdo each other without realising that we are getting nearer to death everyday and those material cravings won’t help us when we are near death . Now that I have met Kechara & your teachings I hope to slowly remove my attachments to worldly acquisitions and start practising more Dharma by volunteering & financially supporting my Dharma center in the process of finding true happiness
感谢仁波切的分享。人生就是赤裸裸的来，赤裸裸的去，能带去的只是我们脑袋的记忆和我们所累积的功德或印记，然后再传给下一世或有更好的转世。Dr Richard Teo的故事就是一个很好的警惕。同修们！我们今世不学佛法，那还要等几时修佛呢？
It is truly sad how we as human beings do not know the true meaning to life till we are faced with death, then we will know the meaning to what we are really missing out on. It will only be then that we will be able to be compassionate enough to reach out to others and help them truthfully. Giving others the support that we should have given them a long time ago.
Revisiting this post for the second time, I recall the book “Dharma Punx” which recalls Noah Levine’s horrific experiences as a former drug addict and his journey on a zen Buddhist path. One of the practices he engages in as he starts his spiritual journey was a year-long experiment, where he consciously lived every day as if he would die within one year – he had even set a specific date for his envisioned “death” and would live every day leading up to that in “preparation” of this eventuality. There was profound transformation within just that one year – where he sobered up and gained much more faith in his spiritual practice. Of course, he didn’t actually die after that one year, but you see his journey across those 12 months – the realisations, regrets and his journey forward into engaging and living more meaningfully.
We are fortunate that Rinpoche has given us many teachings on this truth of death and many meditations that we can engage in on a daily basis. Actually, one year may well be too long a period. We could die in the next moment as we step out of the front door of our house, so really, we should be living not just every day as if it were our last, but living every hour, every moment. There is this wonderful post, for example, with instructions of death meditations we can engage in for greater clarity into the way we are living right now: http://blog.tsemtulku.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/inspiration-worthy-words/dear-henry-contemplate-daily.html
Finally, I’m reminded of this quote from Rinpoche in his book “If Not Now, When?” – a most apt one for this post: “We talk about death so we can live. We realise death so we can make others live”.
Everyone will die but no one believes it. Whatever we have or however wealthy we are, no matter how we try we cannot avoid death. We are very fortunate to have Rinpoche always telling us about taking the essence from this life by always focusing on transforming our minds and benefiting others. thank you rinpoche.
sory tis my big mistake this comment write bye me .
This post is indeed very touching and very true… this world is basically programmed to trick us in to believe that life is as what Dr. Teo thought then suddenly that misconception shatters in a second the moment you realise your immortality… that this really can happened to you.
Buddhism unlike other faiths, talk about death all the time. It is perhaps the only religion/faith/spiritual path I know of that does this so frequently. An indication for us to realise this life is but an impermanent one and while we’re here our every action leads to some kind of consequences. And when death comes, it is only these deed that will determined our state of mind and how the karma shall ripened.
All those things we thought we’re precious, even our lovers and family becomes just a mirage… hence it would be good if we can live without wrong perceptions that creates attachments.
In a another post I just read, is a sadhana practice that is most apt in helping us to cut down these wrong perceptions that causes so much misery to our selves.
White Manjushri daily practice
http://blog.tsemtulku.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/buddhas-dharma/white-manjushri-sadhana.html
This is a powerful reminder that it is inevitable that one day we will lose everything. Things that we are now so desperately trying to get such as money, fame, success, approval from people, and also things that we are fighting to hang on to such as our youth and beauty, our health, our looks, our relationships with loved ones, our sense of security and ultimately our life.
We may not have as much to lose as the late Dr Teo, or we may more than him to lose but the point he was making which is important, is not to lose ourselves and who we can be for others. When we all stand naked at death’s door which is the only guarantee Life provides, the only thing that has any value is the good we have done for others.
We all want to be happy and here is a testimony from someone who successfully met with and in many ways surpassed society’s conditions and ‘rules to happiness’ and he tells us pointedly as someone who has been there and done that, that those rules are false and instead the only way to be happy is to make others happy and to serve their others.
A very strong message which I got from Dr Teo’s talk although it was not verbalized, is how urgently we must change our views because we do not have all the time we imagine we have and death comes very suddenly and does not need our permission or approval and the only thing we can do is face death without surprise or regret.
What the late Dr Teo realized towards the end of his life is what the Buddha taught and what our Guru has been telling us all this time. So many messages similar messages already from so many different quarters and it behooves us to take heed so that we do not leave life full of regrets.
Thank you for this post Rinpoche and may Dr Teo take good rebirth.
When death arrived, everything ends. Money, wealth, reputation, friends…all will vanished like a smoke. What remain with us is our mind, karma, merits, spiritual knowledge.
In this samsara, no matter how much we understand that for example money is not going to bring us happiness or a safe guaranty for our next life, still, we will go for money.. we will chase the money for our comfort zone, we can’t let go of what we experience, no money means poor, means no reputation etc. Thus when the death is about to come, only then we realize what is too late. “Money can’t buy happiness ” how many people know this fact but still will blindly chase for money. We just can’t live without money, without kids, without relationship, we are so clinging into these, so attached that we can’t “wake up” refuse to know this truth and practice it.
I can’t say that i have realization on this fully. I can only keep remind myself not to be attached. By just saying this, i have to thanks Rinpoche for His kindness to guide us. Without the teaching from Rinpoche, i can’t even know what is the wrong view and thus attached. Not wait until when i about to die, then only i understand what is the truth for this life.
Thank you Rinpoche
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this short yet powerful video clip. We always tend to ignore death, stupidly believe that we are immortal. I confess that sometimes I will avoid thinking about death because I feel scared by just thinking about it. However, I have been trying to transform the fear into a spiritual path.
Dear Rinpoche,
many thanks to You and Sharon for sharing the story of Dr Richard Teo with us.
I have very mixed feelings after reading this article. I’m grateful to Dr Richard Teo for the stark reminder on how we should live and what we should live for. I’m deeply saddened that he had to suffer for us to receive this reminder. I’m inspired to live a life that has meaning RIGHT NOW but I’m bound by very real attachments that I’m not able to let go of.
I too am a 40-year-old business man and reading about Dr Teo’s misfortune really hits me. However, I see it a blessing that I did not have the early and quick success that Dr Teo had. I might have “enjoyed” my wealth the same way. In fact, I’m pretty sure I would have done it. I like fast cars too. I used to dream about owning them. Not anymore. I also see it a blessing that I found Dharma without having to go through such a shocking awakening.
My family is a real “attachment” to me. They are my responsibility and it’s something I can’t and I won’t walk away from. The “attachment” is the simple reality of financial needs. I have to make sure that they are cared for and to do that, I have to go on with my business.
However, what has changed significantly for me and within me in the last year, since I started learning from Rinpoche’s teachings, are the purpose of my business and how I conduct it. I’m now focusing primarily on clean technologies and products that have a direct and positive impact on the environment and well-being of society. I’ll still strive for success in my business but I now find more joy in giving than enjoying personal gains. I’ll be honest: I still enjoy samsaric pleasures but I have reduced excesses to what’s necessary with “only“ the occasional indulgence. I’m not there yet…
I know I’m in the fortunate position to benefit others through my company’s undertakings and I will work hard to achieve this. And I shall remind myself with Dr Teo’s story to never waver from this commitment, for there will be times when the trappings of success could be too tempting to resist. I shall remain strong and steadfast.
I pray that Dr Teo will find peace and less suffering in his next life. Regardless of how he lived his life, his last months as a cancer patient have touched lives in a more profound way than all the years he worked as a doctor. For that, he deserves respect.
Sean Pang
在很多的时候，事情没有发生在自己的身上，就不会感同身受。死亡，是每个人都会经历的过程，我们虽然没有控制权但我们却有使用权，如果我们可以选择做一些有意义的事，你一定能感受到无比的快乐和满足。我记得在新山做了一年KSK的派饭活动中，自己可以深切的感受到帮助人的满足和喜悦，尤其是当他们在吃我们所分发的食物时，看到他们真心的感激，这个感觉真的很好，至少自己觉得对这个社会还是有些许贡献，才不会虚度此生。
所拥有的一切，都不能带给我们真正快乐。
借助外力的快乐，不是真正的快乐。放下一些功利和实用时，心中才会发出真正的快乐光明。因为时
下许多人的不快乐，其实是贪婪导致的。生存其实不需要很多的东西。贪婪才使我们不快乐。
世上的一切都会失去的，甚至包括我们的生命。当我们不能改变结果时，就先改变我们的态度。
Thank you Rinpoche and Sharon for the sharing.What Dr Teo mention was very true,most of the time we lose focus on the true meaning in life and we chase after all the materialistic things that will help enlarge our ego.We rarely appreciate, what precious human life we are fortunate to be given through our past fortunate karma.Most of the time when we are about to lose everything then we only start to regret not doing the right thing the first time.
Thank you so much for this timely reminder,I would like to start living life the way that i should in the first place,through our guru gracious guidance.
May Dr Richard Teo have a good rebirth .
“Its better be late than never”, as the saying goes! That may also be the desire of Dr. Richard Teo in wanting to use the last part of his life to reveal to us from his heart, the truth of his realisations. Being trained as a doctor, he said he should be compassionate and empathetic, unfortunately he couldnt. Everyday, and every other day, he witnessed death in the cancer dept. He also saw all sufferings and pains, the patients went through, struggling with their oxygen, breathing their last breath! To him, it was all a job. They wern’t real to him, it was just a job. But the truth isthat he did not know it in all reality how they actually feel, not until he became the patient himself. Yes sometimes you learned it the hard way, admitted Dr. Richard Teo. Secondly, he also believed that “everyone knows that they going to die; everyone knows that; The truth is, none of us believe it, because if we did, we will do things differently. The irony is that a lot of times only when we learn how to die then we learn how to live. I know it sounds very morbid, but its the truth; This is what I’m going through”. Such were the final truth of realisations of Dr. Richard Teo, revealed for the benefit of us all, through the blog of our compassionate and sharing Guru, Tsem Tulku Rinpoche.
This sentence of Dr Teo said keep lingering in my mind: only when we learn how to die then we learn how to live…Really, not everyone knows how to live with true happiness. And people as we are taught to aim for success in life, not to aim for happiness in life. We never know where we are going to be tomorrow, even though i consider i’m still young.Dr Teo really get me thinking…
Thanks for sharing this inspirational story.
I like when Dr Teo says “…only when we learn how to die then we learn how to live”.
“…none of us believe it because if we did, we will do things differently”, and I am one of them.
Dr Teo’s talk is a reminder for me – don’t make realisation comes to late… Even though in Buddhism it’s never too late to realize, but to realize early is always better, to grab the opportunity when you are still manage to make a change is definitely better.
Dr Teo’s talk is matching with Buddhism, about real happiness, attachment, impermanence, selfless, put ourself in people’s shoe…
I will share with friends and family. Thank you Rinpoche for sharing and reminding.
What Doctor Teo has said is very true. In today’s society, we have been trained from young that money is everything. Money can buy you everything – love, cars, companionship, power, authority, big houses, indulgences etc… but many people forgets that money cannot buy health, money cannot stop death from coming. At times it is not that they forget, it is a choice that they make.
Until something terrible happen, which acts as a wake up call, people still will not wake up from their comfort zone.
It is great that Doctor Teo wants to share his stories, it will definitely benefit many but there will still be many who will think that such unlucky thing will not happen.
I always believe that bad things happen for a reason, sometimes only when you fall badly then you will understand, and through that, we will be able to pick up the right habits and make the right choice.
Nonetheless, the legacy that Doctor Teo left behind will benefit others. Let us not make the same mistake and live in regrets as we live our lives only once, we can’t relive the same life again.
This talk about living the life and death by Dr Richard Teo is very profound and hopefully it is able to bring some realisation to many people.
I personally do not wish any unfortunate events to happen to anyone. However, I do think that suffering can bring realisation to some, unfortunately NOT to everyone. Some never learn till it’s really too late. Imagine if we die in a car accident tomorrow totally unprepared? At the very least Dr Teo had a few more months to come to a realisation and regret on his past actions. It is amazing how when shit happens is when people start to reflect on what they could have done better and what not. It’s like humans naturally do know what is right or wrong but choose to stay ignorant because of the pleasures and temptations in life.
I would definitely like to live with no regrets when my “time” comes. One of the immediate actions is to forgive ourselves for all the things we are ashamed of and others who has mistreated us. Then move on and do the opposite of what we normally do which is to live selfishly for ourselves. The point to START is NOW as we never know if there is another tomorrow for us.
感谢仁波切的分享。
特别感谢Dr Richard Teo说出令人值得深思熟虑的一番话语，有多少人有着错误的观点认为人生的快乐就取决于成为有钱人、成功人士或是上流社会的高尚人，很多人从没想过快乐可以是很简单的。
年轻一代都不会去想太多关于死亡的问题，不会思考死亡来临的那一刻，事实告诉我们不论年轻老少都免不了“死亡”，重要的是要善用我们的时间和专长发自内心利益众生，不要被一时的歪念误导我们的思维。
“Everyone knows that they are going to die; every one of us knows that. The truth is, none of us believe it because if we did, we will do things differently. When I faced death, when I had to, I stripped myself off all stuff totally and I focused only on what is essential. The irony is that a lot of times, only when we learn how to die then we learn how to live.”
…. It is so meaningful. Lately I have been hearing and experiencing the death of friends, family & stranger. Some young, some elder. It really hit me that death is so certain and it can come anytime. It’s very important on how I live my life everyday. If this is the last day of my life today, will have have no regret and can leave peacefully. Karma is fair. All of us cannot run away from it.
I am glad I started to have the experience like Dr Teo and able to learn, practice Dharma now and have Rinpoche as the Guru. May I have the blessings and resources to do more and serve more using my life.
No matter how much money we earn, how high the position in the company we are, how successful we are in the societies, this does not ensure anything permanently and lasting. Worst thing is that it doesn’t stop us from facing death and how much all the materialistic help us or prepare us in this context?…..Non!
Dr Richard Teo sharing is very much a realization from a high achiever in this samsaric world that happiness doesn’t come from materialistic, not from serving ourself but others, making a difference in somebody life. Anything can happen to us at any point of time without any warning. We should always live our life like every single is our last day. Nothing material that we can bring over to our next life accepts for our good/bad karma and merits. Prepare ourselves from now and learn up what we don’t know for our future life. Our actions for others are permanent and results are permanent too.
Spiritual teaches us be a great being that able to bring benefit to others Dr Richard Teo share the greatest realization of what human should and can do to achieve true and lasting happiness.
nice.tx for sharing!
meaningful! =) TQ for sharing.
We cannot make friends with material or possessions and what really matters to us at the end of the day are the relationships we have built with others and how we have treated others. As Dr Teo has mentioned his best times in the last few months of his life was connecting with others. So i do thank Dr teo’s contribution to us all, his story is a wake up call for many of us, that money can help us make things easier but it is not the end all in terms of bringing us happiness.
Thank You Rinpoche and Sharon for sharing the real story and the video of Dr. Teo. It’s meaningful.
It’s sad to know what happened to dr Teo. But, I am inspire that he was speaking the truth of his lives before he had passed away. With his selfless speech given, it may help to benefit and to make people realize money and fame is not everything. Chasing after money and fame will not last forever! May Dr.Richard have a good rebirth. OM MANI PADME HUNG!
I am very fortunate, I came to know Rinpoche, through His guidance and teachings, it makes me realized that money can’t buy inner and outer happiness. Thank You Rinpoche.
A very depressing but true story on what a crazy world we live in now
It’s very sad for Dr Teo , to have such a tragic experience . But nevertheless the story of his sickness , his realizations and his death would have inspired many people , and I am sure will continue to inspire many more. We really ought to share this story with as many people as possible . In this degenerate period all of us need a wake up call like this one !! Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this with us . It certainly is the core teaching which Rinpoche has always tried in vain to instill in us .
So true. This story will change lives. Personally, I know how it feels like to have everything you want and then the next thing you know, its gone. But in this case, it is far worse as the person is suffering physically and dying of cancer.
When is it enough? What is enough and satisfying? Is anything ever enough? All the wastage of time chasing things because of our greed, arrogance, pride and ego. After knowing Rinpoche and Dharma, its like a wake up slap for me.
Feelings that I never knew existed in me. To let go and move on. Doesn’t matter if we have everything as we cant take it with us when we die. Its sad that Dr Richard found out the hard way but he learned and changed his way of thinking. Just because you think you have everything, doesn’t mean you can live forever without any problems. Everything is impermanent…
It is so sad that Dr.Teo had to find out the true meaning of life the hard way.. Too little too late. What is more shocking is that this is coming from a Doctor who saves lives everyday. He only learnt the true meaning of life when the illness befalls him.What he said in his speech is so profound and very Dharmic. And I’m glad that he spent the remaining days of his life benefiting others by sharing his life changing story. There are so many people like Dr.Teo out there. Hopefully by sharing his story, they will realize that not all materialism equals happiness. Impermance is definitely a very important factor to contemplate on everyday..
Thank you Rinpoche and Sharon for sharing this out. After reading the article provided by Dr. Teo, suddenly my mind flash back with the benefits of remembering death. I pray for Dr. Teo to gain swift rebirth as perfect human form and live again to spread the words of Dharma. Om Mani Padme Hum.
Thank you Dr. Richard Teo for sharing this profound story with us. May you rest in peace and for your kindness in the last part of your life to share with so many the true lesson of living and death, you will come back in the best form to benefit many sentient beings.
What I found most profound in Dr. Teo’s story is how we succumb ourselves to how we are governed by the norms and expectations of society and developed ourselves into selfish human beings. How we do not see what is truly important in life except to acquire materialistic possessions and equate happiness and success to wealth.
As Rinpoche has always taught us the only thing inevitable in life is DEATH and as buddhist believing in reincarnation, let us live our life in benefiting others.
Peakenl
Produces
Thank you Dr Richard for the sharing to all. I am sure he can be a much caring doctor / a very different doctor if he can be given another chance to live life differently … but it is too late, like Dr mentioned here. I guess this is the same story that is happening every day, every minutes in all part of the world… we all know death is near but how many really brave enough / willingly wanting to live our life differently, showing more care/compassion helping others ?
Dr. Richard really inspired me….I hope miracle can happen & he can practise as doctor again to benefits others.
When death is imminent, we look at what was once important to us as insignificant. That’s when we realize the crucial things in life that we once ignored. Dr. Teo’s sharing is extremely honest and forthright. Thank you, Rinpoche for sharing. Thank you, Sharon.
Dr Teo’s persue of material gains is very typical in our modern society. Being a Singaporean myself, I recognize these traits among many of my peers and friends and sometimes even occasionally in myself. We are so often bombarded by the media and messages from all sorts of avenue to propagate and persuade us to acquire more stuff and that these stuff will bring us happiness. Yes, it does bring happiness to most of us when we acquire something that we work for some time to get, ie a dream house, a flashy car or even that new IT bag. Moderation is the key, if we go mindless persuing all these material gains, we will likely end up being a selfish “ghost” like what Rinpoche said the other day during the talk at his birthday celebration, saying that some humans behave like “ghosts”, always thinking of “me, me and me” all the time. We would know that the Buddha has taught us that happiness is from within but many would be in search of something outside to give us that temporary happiness or contentment. As much as we often hear that money is not a good relation to our spiritual practise, I would think that money itself is neutral, is what you make out of it or do with it that brings out the good, the bad and the ugly. We all know, with money or the lack of it at times, draws the bright or dark side out of mankind. I do believe that as long as we work hard, earn a honest living or even while we are accumulating our wealth for our retirement or for the next generation, but at the same time remember to pay it forward, always remembering the less than fortunate and always ready to extend a helping hand, then we would have make our worth as a true spiritual and compassionate individual who is deserving of the blessings of being born in the human realm and able to live in a good conducive environment, with the right conditions to receive the precious teachings of Dhamma… When one truly understands the joy of giving, it is the time we would so unconditionally help without expecting much in return. Just a simple smile from a child, a warm touch of gratitude from an elderly and even a grateful look from a soulful pair of doggie’s eyes is good enough… this itself is the best reward. And with that, may all be well and happy.. Have a very good week ahead.
With love, light and Metta …
Despite the mistakes that he made in his life, but Dr.Teo used his remaining days to talk and inspired so many people, I would say his death is still worth, because his death brings lesson to so many people, especially youngsters that are going to be like him.
And I’m very happy for Dr.Teo, at least he learnt something from his mistakes, at least he knew what is the best thing in one’s life, that is to serve others. With this transformation, I wish Dr.Teo could get a good/better rebirth.
Rinpoche always teaches us, at the time of death, money, fame, lovers, family and friends bring us nothing. Only Dharma can help us. And what is the real Dharma? Yes, transformation. At the time of death, ‘let go’ is the key.
Thank you Dr.Teo for using his last days to inspire so many people. He didn’t just give up and remained to be selfish. Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this.
This is not easy to share the true feeling with public.Dr Teo stand up and share his realization sincerely just hopefully it can help to change our mind towards the life which we also in focusing pursue money, good food , good stuff …we have to remind ourself death will reach us at anytime, anywhere..change our mind now before regret and while we still alive.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this true story.This is very sad fact of realizations when it is too late.A good reminder for all of us–
” Don’t chasing all the wealth and material things in life,do more to benefits others !!”
OM MANI PADHE ME HUM…May Dr.Teo have good rebirth and can meet dharma in his next life.
One has to be strong not to be influenced by the ‘norm’ perception of the society relating status to wealth. Years ago, when I lived in KL, I owned a Kancil and behind my back. people were talking about why I am only driving a Kancil. When I drove to Sunway Resort Hotel for a function, I was ushered into an uncovered car park when my friend who drove a Mercedes was ushered into the covered car park. In a society where ‘dog eat dog’, many people want wealth and fame quickly as they think that by having wealth, people will look up to them and respect them. Even with my friends, when they name drop, it is about someone famous or rich. How many houses or Hermes handbags they own, which prestigious area they live in, etc…Unfortunately the modern high tech world is making it very difficult for people to see ‘the wood for the trees’, to see the true essence of happiness until it is too late. The young want to get rich quick, venture into business they do not understand, enter competitions to become famous and in the process create more suffering for themselves. And the old are now quickly ‘side-tracked’ to make way for the younger generation. Society has little respect for ‘down and out’, old and sick people. Really sad situation. If not for spirituality, in whichever way or form, many people will regret living the life they live.
Dr Teo’s story has a poignant message – as i would quote from a text called Lalitavistara Sutra as no other words can express this point more clearly and powerfully. The sutra says’
The three worlds are impermanent like an autumn cloud, in autumn the cloud come and disappear very quickly.
The birth and death of beings is like watching a dance on stage, it comes for a few minutes then it goes and then something else appears; it keeps changing. So birth and death are like watching a dance or a drama.
The passage of life is like lightning in the sky, lightning is very short, very brief and momentary; the passage of life is also like that.
Time moves quickly like a waterfall, sometimes we go to see a famous waterfall. Normally water runs very quickly but we can observe how quickly it goes when we see a waterfall.
The point here being that there is no time to waste and to familiarize the mind with leisure and endowments that are difficult to find, reverse the familiar, the allurements of this life, contemplating again and again the unfailing effect of karma and the suffering of cyclic existence and then reverse the allurements for future lives.
Without pure ‘renunciation’, there is no way to pacify attraction to the pleasurable effects of the ocean of cyclic existence, for attachment to cyclic existence completely binds all beings.
I am writing this because I need to remind myself, time and time again, the Noble Truth of Impermanence.
Time, Value and Money. When you had the money you have forgotten the value of time to practice value of life. To be humble, kind and compassion. It is only when one realises that time is no longer on their side then they value time to practise kindness and understand. All his assets he owned in this temperary place cannot bring forward to his next life. Hope he cuts his attachment and hopefully he takes a good rebirth.
Its so sad to see someone only starting to realize that everyone is living in samsara just when they know that they are going to die. Such a waste. I guess thats the main difference when someone is being exposed to Dharma and someone who is not.
Nonetheless the speech that Dr. Teo gave to all the new medical students will be making so much impact on their lives in the near future.
Nothing is permanent and we should always meditate on impermanence as part of our daily practice. With that, we will be able to appreciate everything that we have and all the people and things around us.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this posting with us.
As many have said, it’s sad to realise and change when it’s too late. Some never change, even till the end.I think the key to this story is actually instilling change from the beginning and not just when something negative happens. But whether we can or want to do it is a challenge in itself.
Very inspirational talk by Dr. Richard Teo. It is sad that he only realised the true meaning of happiness when it was too late, but at least he realised it at all. Through his talk he will inspire others to think about how they live their lives.
Thank you Rinpoche for blogging this. Dr Teo has nailed it right on the head and everything he says is true to the spirit of Buddhism, although he said it from a secular/lay point of view. It reminds me very much of the first teaching of Rinpoche that I attended. The key points from that teaching that have stuck with me till today are:
1) IF YOU WERE TO DIE TONIGHT, WOULD YOU HAVE REGRETTED ANYTHING YOU DID TODAY?
and
2) WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU DID SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE ELSE WITHOUT AGENDA? AND VICEVERSA.
It’s a shame that we only really learn the truth when we are close to death, as demonstrated in the case of Dr Teo. Otherwise we get so caught up in our material worlds of me me me that we always lose sight of what really matters. I suppose that is why the first topic of the Lamrim is death and impermanence, because once we realize that death can come anytime, and that all our plans could come to naught, we would then focus on the things that really matter.
Dr Richard Teo gave a very touching account of his life story that hits us to the core. He said only when we learn to die then we will only learn to live – that is so true. It is hope that everyone who listened to Dr Teo will benefit from the talk and re-examine our lives and prioritize what is real happiness.
When Dr Teo came to know he has only 3 to 4 months to live, he went into severe depression and yet he managed to give such a sincere and honest confessions to the public.His talk is very inspiring and i am sure this will change your life and many people’s lives as well.Thanks to Rinpoche and Sharon for sharing this article.
This is apt reading, for a time when we have been living in the jungle at KFR with very minimal facilities and luxuries (yes, luxuries!). I didn’t think I was such creature comfort, until I found myself sleeping with 5 other people in a tin container, and sharing one bathroom with 15 other people… All the spoilt-ness and want for comfort from my whole life came right to the fore. It’s so true what Dr Teo says about wanting more and more, even as we get more. It is never, ever enough.
In the face of all the mosquitoes, the tiny toilets, minimal living space, our own dear Lama, Tsem Rinpoche is still bouncing around. Everything is as normal. In fact, he looks more in his element than ever. I realise, with a shameful hanging of my head, that truly, there is nothing material that phases Rinpoche in any way. He could be sitting in the finest place – like on a brocaded throne in our Gompa – or walking through mud and battling a thousand mosquitoes. He is just the same. And that is true happiness – for how many of us can say we remain as focused, energetic and happy once our immediate surroundings change?
The talk by Dr Teo – it is incredible and poignant, but actually, there is nothing in this that we haven’t heard before from Rinpoche himself. Isn’t this what he has been telling us for years and years? From the very first moment we met him? And as we run around trying desperately to accumulate things for ourselves (many bejewelled, rich things!), he shakes his head and reminds us again, for the millionth time, that truly, “true happiness doesn’t come from serving yourself.”
After reading Dr Teo story, one word pop up in my mind, life is IMPERMANENCE. To be good, kind, love, forgive, accept to others is very important in life.
Regards : Erickksiow
If I have not met Rinpoche, I would be in that position. All of us lived our life to what has been “taught” to us or what the society perceived it to be like.
It is very sad to read this article as Dr Teo could have a different life whereby he didn’t need to regret. However, he did realised it towards his end of life and did not die deceiving himself.
Being 41 years old myself, the life of Dr. Richard Teo indeeds hits a close nerve. I may not be as successful financially and not a doctor but I can completely relate to his definition of happiness before he found out he was dying. I think that if I found out today I was ill and only have a few months left I too would be devastated. I will not preach to be all Buddha-ish just because I have been in Dharma for the past 3 years. But, being in the dharma has given me many opportunities to live caring and compassionately for others. Doing “work” for the benefit of others. I am glad that I made this choice to make Dharma my career 3 years ago…if I should die today I would have less regret knowing I have done good stuff in the last 3 years.
Let’s not wait till we are dying to do something more meaningful with our lives. If not now, when?
Thanks Rinpoche for sharing the late Dr.Richard Teo’s sharing. Though his realization and full understanding came late but it is better than not at all. He had given such an encouraging talk to the young Dentists to be what he had missed out earlier in life and wish that these young people do not make the same mistakes that he did before. Actually money is not everything and it can’t buy the true happiness that we all want….
It is very sad to watch this blog and hopefully many people out in the world who has not realized what is stretching out to benefit others and not just focus on what we want for our own befinits would have the insight of doing more to help others. Then more would benefit not only from the medical field, and also education, business and from all walks of life.
We are lucky to have Rinpoche to teach us Dharma and would not regret later in life that we are doing to help all sentient beings. If everyone plays their part, the world would be a happier and peaceful place to stay……
Thanks again to Rinpoche for sharing.
This is a cruel but a true story that must share with everyone. Do not think of all doctors are kind and wanted to safe our lives. At the end of the day It’s all about the bill that you going to settle before you leave the hospital bed. Where has the dream of saving people’s lives gone to?
But I rejoice for Dr. Richard as he finally sees the light in the tunnel. He realized the truth happiness does not come from things that he has but the care and love that he shared. Although he has not much time left but what he shared to the world will bring some inspiration to many young doctors and hope this would set as a good example for them on how they could live a better life. I hope whoever read about Dr. Teo will realized something from here. Julia
It is sad that for many people, it takes death to be a catalyst for their transformation. But what most people don’t realise is that we are ALL dying, and we will all die eventually. So where is that realisation and change in the rest of us, because we are all going to go through the same experience that Dr Teo did, later if not sooner?
Dr Teo changed because he was shocked into it – suddenly, his death was going to come a lot sooner than he had expected. And ‘expected’ is the key word here…we all expect death to be far away, which is why we don’t change. But if we learn to live everyday knowing that death can come at any moment, we will have the same epiphanies that unfortunately Dr Teo could only have at the end of his life.
And personally, I prefer that option – to live everyday knowing I can die at any moment, because it gives me time to change and make my life right. I’d rather be given the chance to do that, than to live until my last moment equating happiness to success and wealth.
I am grateful to him and others like him who speak up (Mitch Albom, Dr Randy Pausch, etc) who use the moments of their lives with such compassion.
Dr Teo spoke from his own experiences. He conveyed his experiences of pursuing medical career alone without much thoughts of others. Using the money to buy material things for his own personal enjoyment.
When he was hit by stage 4 cancer he has the support of his good friends who are genuinely concerned of him. He came to realizations of what does it mean to serve others especially in medical fields. This is a very good sharing to young people who have started to pursue their careers.
“Don’t let society tell you how to live. Don’t let the media tell you what you’re supposed to do.” How many of us are victims of society expectation of how we should lead our lives? The cause of our suffering is wrong perception and projection. And grasping at it. Then we pass it on to our children, our neighbours, and the ripple goes on….
How many testimonials have we heard from people at the brink of death regretting their past and wishing that they could have lived it differently. Dr Teo’s story is real, it is happening during our time. It can happen to him, it can hit us anytime, just like it did to him. Scary, but may it be a real shake up.
Thank to Dr Teo for his wonderful sharing. May be is a reminder to myself. I would think that he is really lucky being enlighten by our lord Buddha for this life time. I do believed that “some thing happen to us, happen for a meaning”. But as a human, some time we are blinded by our materials and artifical surrounding,we need to fall to feel the pain and is the journey nearer to GOD.
OM MANI PADHE ME HUM !!!!
“Hey money is everything, money is the key to life, money is the secret to life, and if you make a lot of money and if you’re living in a lot of money, you will be secured, happy, respected and you will have an easy life and you will be at peace…” This has always been implanted in our mind that without money, we won’t be happy, this is a wrong imprint. At least Dr Teo has proven that money isn’t really everything. Rinpoche has also mentioned in one of his post why we are so obsessed by money and the suffering later on. (http://blog.tsemtulku.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/buddhas-dharma/you-and-your-imprints-how-to-break-bad-habituations.html )
Both poor and wealthy are suffering. So what makes us think that having money is having true happiness? Everyone has to go through death. Some people tells me we live only once, why bother so much? Just enjoy life before we die. I understand this is spoken out of ignorance, not everyone has the chance to realize the true meaning of life before they die. Material obsession and self-cherishing mind bring only false happiness. Dr Teo’s talk is a very inspirational and awakening. Thank you Rinpoche for posting this.
Death is unavoidable, it is real and it can come anytime, none of us can stop it, it doesn’t matter what occupation you are, your status, your wealth, your power, even if you are the most powerful and the richest person in the world, you can’t change the fact of death.
Many people thought wealth brings happiness and security of life, but the fact is when you obtained these wealth, you will lose the sense of security. Your fear arises, you became afraid of losing all your possession.
It is Sad that Dr Teo realized this fact so late, because if he realize it earlier, his life would be so much more meaningful than now, it is too late because he does not have much time to do good.
Materialism is the worse enemy we can have, because of being materialism, all our negative side surfaced, become ignorant, greedy, jealous, competitive, pride, ego, etc etc etc, so many examples out there. The real happiness comes from within, the inner peace that we should be after, not the outer and temporary one.
Wow, what a powerful story. I know that I really try to put myself into other people’s shoes because I too at a young age was very ignorant and I feel like life has opened my eyes to many dispairs in life that I wish I didn’t have to go through but are very thankful for the experience. It allowed me to think twice how it makes other people feel, what my actions in results can do and leave an everlasting impact on people’s lives and views. I teach my children these views and hope they will learn early to live their lives to its fullest and follow what you heart, hopes and dreams. I truly believe that I have been through these horrible life experiences for reasons to help others. I have gone back to school to become a nurse which is what I have always wanted to be and for once in my life I am following what I believe to be my destiny….to help others in pain. I have gotten an entry level position in the hospital where I will begin this new journey of discovery. It’s funny that I have been surrounded by stories like this one along with inspiring publications like “the secret” and “becoming enlightened” by the His Holiness the Dalai Lama and wonder if i am being guided. I always felt that I am a compassionate person but now I want to put that compassion to good use. If I could help one person understand “empathy” and compassion then I have done my job. Thank you for posting this. It really inspired me to do more.
Om Mane Peme Hum…..
This quote “when I start to accumulate, the more I have, the more I want. The more I wanted, the more obsessed I became. Like what I showed you earlier on, all I can was basically to get more possessions, to reach the pinnacle of what society did to us, of what society wants us to be. I became so obsessed that nothing else really mattered to me” will make most of us a big punch.
It make me an incident when KP roadshow at JB; there is a aunty wish to invite incense then she choose Dzambala incense to wish may bring more wealth back home. She ask me that is that really work? I asking her a question that if 10 years ago ur income is 2k is that enough? She quickly reply that ” sure, there will got balance for my saving also”. Then i ask her the second question ” aunty if today ur income is 20k per month is that enough?” she reply that ” how can enough?”
Then i joking with the aunty that ” wow u so greedy mer! Even ur income increase 10 times also no enough ar!”, suddenly she reply with shy that ” ya lor, how come not enough. Is just due to i wish to get more unnecessary things then only make me feel no enough!”
Thanks Rinpoche to share this article with us, we hopefully our inner wealth will grow and our mind can be transform faster to avoid the regret like Dr. Richard Teo’s talk
This is indeed a very inspiring video to watch. First, the professor of the university has the far sight to invite Dr Teo for giving this talk to the students. And in fact as what Dr Teo said, many will be carried away with the fame, wealth. It is such a noble thing to instill some ethics into the young students.
I have read the book “Tuesdays with Morrie” back in year 2000 (12 years ago). This book has inspired me and started me to think about what is my purpose in life. I would say at that time, I have no clue about my purpose in life, but it has definitely widen my thoughts. I would recommend to read (the book is very easy to read).
“Because true happiness doesn’t come from serving yourself. I thought it was but it didn’t turn out that way”. I think this is a very important message for all of us and I sincerely hope that the young students get the message and put serving others in front of serving own self.
Since this video has been spreading viral on the internet, the local Chinese newspaper also cover this story. I’m very happy to see that. There are still many people who read newspaper other than online, and having covered the story in newspaper means more people get to know the inspiring sharing.
I, like all others, will die one day, and I sincerely wish what I do in this life can benefit others (just like how Dr Teo has benefit many through his sharing).
Doctors is one of the top “Career” that envy by many…when small kid that time, always think DOCTORs can help/heal others, doctors is a profession that infuse with love & care….
In real life , quite common to hear that Doctors equal wealth, not 100% to the direction of “helping others”.
As a doctor, Dr Richard Teo said “We’re being trained to be healthcare providers, professional, and all and yet we don’t know how exactly they feel.” He treated “Patients were just a source of income, and tried to squeeze every single cent out of these patients.” how sad!
Realizations of Dr Richard Teo also help others to think in depth ,
How you want to live your own life. Not according to what other people tell you to do, and you have to decide whether you want to serve yourself, whether you are going to make a difference in somebody else’s life. Because true happiness doesn’t come from serving yourself.”
Thank you Rinpoche and Sharon for sharing this wonderful post.
Dr.Teo was really sincere with his talk…
“To understand that there are people out there who are truly in pain, truly in hardship. Don’t get the idea that only poor people suffer. It is not true. A lot of these poor people do not have much in the first place, they are easily contented. for all you know they are happier than you and me but there are out there, people who are suffering mentally, physically, hardship, emotionally, financially and so on and so forth, and they are real. We choose to ignore them or we just don’t want to know that they exist.”
This is really truth, most of us know but we never cared or bother.
Contemplate daily on the suffering exist will make us appreciate people and things we have.
Dear Rinpoche,
after going through the article, it made sense that society, environment and circumstances are shaping how we act, re-act and think. Success = wealth; wealth = success…or does it?
I’m really glad I’ve met Rinpoche years ago to understand such simple facts of pure compassion to any living thing. What Dr. Teo mentioned made sense and it serves as a reminder on how we should behave and think. Even if we’re already doing good deeds, changes in thinking, mindset, it is always good to have reminders to steer our path back to the right way, the good way, the Dharma way.
Thank you for the wonderful post, something for me to ponder before i sleep.
I think people in the “higher realms” as human, the rich, famous, and so forth, deserve an actively equal amount of compassion. Sometimes it’s hard to see, but not really, even when they seem perfectly happy there are so many “red flags” that a practicing Buddhist sees without trying to. It’s like, why do you need a new couch, you already have a couch? Why do you treat people poorly to get to the top? Would you want that done to yourself? Why is that the standard? “Society” isn’t a sentient being; it can’t “tell” us anything, so why do people pick up these cultural messages and gravitate towards certain paths? The editors make magazines with photoshopped models because they want to sell copies, because it is what readers want to buy, people see the images and may want cosmetic surgery, the cosmetic surgeon cuts them up in order to become rich — what??
Anyway I hope this man really puts into action what he’s said, if he hasn’t already. Save someone else’s life with the money. Die with nothing left, no one to fight over the money. Be peaceful and don’t beat yourself up so badly, no one wants to see that.
Honest and well delivered. Painful truth yet brave to share. Not many people would be so open to talk of their illness and be frank about it.
I like this: only when we learn how to die then we learn how to live.
Thank you, Dr.Richard Teo.
我们生在福中不知福。其实所有的教化都是在教导我们，一切无常。我们追求的其实是别人眼中的成功，别人认为的快乐。结果我们迷失了自己，有了车子，追房子，生子，结果责任越来越多。今天我们离去了，留下的是什么？
Thanks Rinpoche and Sharon for sharing this, it’s very meaningful.
“only when we learn how to die then we learn how to live” He is the living example for this.
Why people chasing for materials things it’s because they thought it will bring them happiness, it’s not their fault just that they don’t know. The society is educating people in this way is to make more money.
Money money money…wealth wealth wealth, these are things that people chasing after but we don’t really study what is that after it.
Thanks Dr.Richard for sharing with medical professional with this so they can become a better doctors who not only cure patients but also care about them.
This serve as a strong reminder of Rinpoche’s teachings and what I am always reminded of when reading and contemplating the Lamrim. While Dr Teo’s message of “wealth do not bring happiness” is really important, he also told us of his friends’ unhappiness of not making ends meet. More so when he brought his Ferrari and showed off to them. So both having and not having wealth also “brings” unhappiness.
He also said there is really nothing wrong with having wealth, just that most can’t handle it. I personally think that it all starts with intention and motivation. Why do one acquire wealth? If it is for perceived “happiness” based on self cherishing then I am afraid it will be sufferings from start to the end. But if it is based on benefitting others then I believe one can find true happiness. Nothing wrong in acquiring wealth but use it to benefit others more then yourself. Actually by benefitting others, we are ultimately benefitting ourselves.
Why be a poor Buddhist when we can be a rich Buddhist. Rich on the outside and rich on the inside. With this balance we know things are temporal and we can let go at the time of death.
May Dr Teo have a good rebirth and may I dedicate all my merits to him.
So sorry for Dr. Teo, but i really hope that his talk will bring some benefit to the students. Yes, we are all products, since young we were told to study hard, graduate, get a job and be successful. Successful meaning make lots of money. But never about be compassion and care.
Everyone will die but no one believes it. The mind is the biggest asset and also the “manipulator”. What we perceive as truth may not be it. This statement strikes me so much. May Dr Teo have a good rebirth and benefit many I his next life.
Thank you dear Rinpoche for sharing this message from the late Dr. Richard Teo. His message is very poignant.
The lines that resonated with me came at the very end :
Everyone knows that they are going to die; every one of us knows that. The truth is, none of us believe it because if we did, we will do things differently. When I faced death, when I had to, I stripped myself off all stuff totally and I focused only on what is essential. The irony is that a lot of times, only when we learn how to die then we learn how to live.
All of us can learn from these lines, that to die successfully is to live successfully by realizing that true happiness comes from living for others. True compassion and empathy for others’ suffering will make us all better human beings. If we are true Dharma students we will have the wisdom to make the right choices to make a difference in life.
We can learn so much and be so much happier serving other sentient beings.
We live our lives chasing after our dreams and thinking that having wealth will bring us happiness. However, most people on their death beds will have regrets and will want to change the way they live if given a chance to relive their lives. Understanding the dharma and learning to let go of attachment will save us a lot of
heartache in our lives. Dr Teo regretted how he lived his life and had given good advices that we should follow before it’s too late.
Let’s contemplate and reflect on his advices so that we can change our lives and not have any regrets on our death bed.
May you rest in peace, Dr. Teo.
Thanks Rinpoche and Sharon for sharing this. A good reminder for me to cherish life with love ones.
We can only take our karma with us at the time of death. Despite the wealth and reputation Dr Teo had achieved, he could not bring all these with him at the time of death. His realization that material wealth and fame does not bring ultimate happiness and his humility and sincerity in sharing his inner most feelings/thoughts/actions and advice to the young dental doctors was the best thing he did before his passing. For some of us, it takes something tragic to happen before we realize what is true happiness but then it is too late. Time is running out.
After reading this and thinking back to how we actually live our so called “life”, is just like what Dr. Richard Teo has said, we are all typical product of the society which we are told to how to live our life and what can make us happy. After reading and watching this, I think only if this message are able to be spread far and wide, maybe in a humble way some people will thought about it and change their perception of happinese and life. This is not about religion, merely just, a sick and dead person realized what true happiness means when it is too late. Hopefully people that has the chance to come across this video and article, may they have a different perception about happiness and life. We should all think beyond of that society structure of happiness and life, think out of the box. It’s so true that most of the doctor are just doing their job that sometimes they have neglected how the patients feel. Wish that doctors able to understand and put themselves in the patients’ shoes. This is a very inspiring post, thank you Sharon for sourcing this and Rinpoche for sharing this and the blog team for posting this. Thank you very much.
Only when we are about to lose everything that we thought we had, we understand what really matters and if we are lucky we start to discover our own potential. When my mother got sick, and then left me in only three months, I understood immediately that there is no time to lose, she was young, I am still young, but there is no time to lose. It is painful to think of death but I think it’s the only way to go after higher goals effectively.
Thanks for sharing this sad and inspirational story.
It is definitely a sad fact of realization when it is too late. Why is it always that way..a person only comes to true realization when it is too late to do more to benefit others? Instead we chase after all the wealth and material things in life which we think that would bring us happiness and yet forgetting or not wanting to know about how many people out there are actually suffering?
Rinpoche has shared many times again and again, the fact that we have yet to surrender to dharma to better our body, speech and mind to help and benefit others. Dr Richard Teo, here shared his side of realization which is so similar to what Rinpoche has taught. Many always regret over what was supposed to do but yet never heed advice. When calamities arise, it will be too late to do more.
Death is part of life, it is the undeniable truth that we have to live with. Living itself means dying, yet we live as if we are not going to die. Death seems so far and always been someone else’s business until it happens to us. The wrong view we have on everything, including death, has led us to think that we are not going to die, we are immortal. We avoid death, ignore it, made ourselves to believe that it is wrong to even mention about it. When it finally hits us, we ask why is this happening to us. Not many like Dr. Richard Teo who will actually reflects on the meaning of life and what it means to be living. There are sayings we are familiar with that start with “Life is too short…” Indeed, it is short, it is so short that it is in between breath. Once we stop breathing, that’s it! We can’t bring our body with us, what more our possessions? Everything is formed with the coming together of different elements, without which our body will not be formed, house will not be built, car will not be produced. Whatever we sees do not form on it’s own, no matter how new they are, they are also decaying at the same time. So, what is the purpose for us to be born apart from transforming our mind that has no beginning or end?
This transcript is a bit long, however, it is also a very precious teaching that so selflessly given out to all of us out here as warning.
Sometimes I feel that we as human beings are just like lions, who go after weaker animals and meat and stuff. Human beings, similarly, go for those things which we see as signs of success – money, big house, flasy cars, beautiful partners, all things that are physically, but which unfortunately we cant bring with us when we pass away. These are illusions that we find hard to get rid of and which we so happily and willingly let them blind our eyes.
There is surely nothing wrong with success and being rich. But those who have the hearts to share their wealth and happiness with the needy make this world a beautiful place.
Many times we learn our lessons the hard way. We feel pain only when we hit the wall hard. We regret over things which we should have realised earlier on. It is so important to be humble and to always reflect on our own doings.
I also read the elements of karma in play in this case. It may sound scary, but the thought of karma reminds us to be more responsible people. We reap what we sow.
I wish that Dr Richard’s speech can give inspiration to the students so that they can be more compassionate in their work in the near future. It is simply too easy to get lost in the jungle of non-ending chase-for-money.
i was very touched when i first read this transcript. Dr Teo is like most of us… especially most of us in Asia, who are programmed that success is measured by material wealth and i personally know so many Dr Teos out there, who are so entrapped in their own wealth and when i ask them to support with sponsorship to help others, they don’t, it really breaks my heart, because they can but they won’t – out of pure ignorance.
We are so very fortunate that we have Rinpoche who tells us the TRUTH about life – about what is important and what brings permanent and ultimate happiness. But just knowing that Rinpoche speaks the truth is not enough if we don’t change our lives as a result. If we still try to pursue all that is not important, we will reap that result which will not be pleasant. All Rinpoche wishes is for all of us to not suffer in the future and yet most of the time we don’t follow Rinpoche’s guidance. It’s pretty illogical isn’t it.
Dr Teo, by being told he was terminally ill, was actually fortunate that he had time to reflect and realise the truth and that he had time left to share the truth with others. If he had not known he was dying, he would never have had that realisation. Let us learn from his sharing now and let us not have to be in that situation of being at the brink of death before we do something about our lives. By then it will be too late.
As always, thank you to Rinpoche for his patience and compassion for his students here and everywhere. I will share this post with as many people as i can. If people won’t believe a high Lama, maybe they will believe one of their own – a young, wealthy person who thought he had the world at his feet and that he would live forever.
Dr Teo’s speech is indeed very profound. He talked about how he was conditioned to believe success=money and that lead to the loss of moral compass and more craving for material stuff. Just when he thought he had the whole world, he was diagnosed with terminal illness and he won’t have long to live. Death makes him re-evaluate his life again. He realised what he was told by the society was not true at all. Love and care for others are far more important than making money for oneself.
He said “Don’t let society tell you how to live. Don’t let the media tell you what you’re supposed to do. Those things happened to me. And I led this life thinking that these are going to bring me happiness. I hope that you will think about it and decide for yourself how you want to live your own life. Not according to what other people tell you to do, and you have to decide whether you want to serve yourself, whether you are going to make a difference in somebody else’s life. Because true happiness doesn’t come from serving yourself. ”
Serve others with love and care, this is also what my guru told me.
Dr Teo is truly a remarkable person.He did not wallow in self pity due to his sickness but spent the remaining time he has to inspire and advise other doctors to be kind and understand their patients pain and sufferings because it is for real.
“True happiness doesn’t come from serving oneself but making a difference in someone else’s life” very true indeed!.A realization gained from his experiences in life.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing Dr Teo’s selfless speech.
Thank you rinpoche for sharing this story… showing us the sad truth on society to us.
This really made me think… whats enough? Having millions of dollars, driving big cars, having big houses.. and having everything we wanted is what the society taught us to bring us happiness. But the sad truth is it doesnt… so let us all remember… being genuine and having compassion is the most important.
Cheers.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this speech of Dr Teo which is so powerfully poignant and moving.
It is sad that he had to gain the realization about what matters at death and hence what matters in life, a little too late. And that is, we cannot take everything we fought so hard for in life – wealth, success and fame and a luxurious lifestyle – along with us when we die. When we know we are going to die, these things which are supposed to bring us happiness, in actual fact, do not. What then was the point of living our life fighting for and pursuing all these things which are in essence meaningless? Dr Teo also finds out a little too late that happiness is not derived from focusing on ourselves.
In fact he tells the young doctors to learn to feel the pain and suffering of their patients and be able to show care and give encouragement to those in pain and suffering(because that’s what they actually need most).
We are very fortunate to have Rinpoche always telling us about taking the essence from this life by always focusing on transforming our minds and benefiting others. Rinpoche is always reminding us that death can knock on one’s door any time and we should in earnest begin preparation for death immediately. We must not leave it too late.
It will be good to share this with friends and others. Coming from a successful person and one without a religious or spiritual background, many people can identify with him and receive his message well.
True happiness doesn’t come from serving yourself — Dr Teo’s talk touched on the very basis of serving others. He realised that his life in the fast lane was nothing compared to seeking happiness – for himself and others. It took the big C to make him realise that.
Speechless… I hope the merits generated by his last message will bring him back to human realm and may he practise dharma. Or wait… Maybe he is a bodhisattva showing us the way the world is.
I particularly like this extract from Dr Teo’s talk:
“there is nothing wrong with being successful, with being rich or wealthy, absolutely nothing wrong. The only trouble is that a lot of us like myself couldn’t handle it.
Why do I say that? Because when I start to accumulate, the more I have, the more I want. The more I wanted, the more obsessed I became. Like what I showed you earlier on, all I can was basically to get more possessions, to reach the pinnacle of what society did to us, of what society wants us to be. I became so obsessed that nothing else really mattered to me.”
Dr Richard Teo (1972-2012), passed away in Singapore on October 18th, 2012.
Like what Tsem Rinpoche always emphasized to us, we can have money, riches, wealth but also to remember to allocate away some time (20% or more) to pursue other interests to CARE for OTHERS also.
It may be a form of spiritual pursuit or volunteering to relief the pain of others, but we need to do it.
I like this article a whole lot. Don’t take life for granted.
This story reminds me of what Rinpoche has taught us tirelessly. Whatever we have or however wealthy we are, no matter how we try we cannot avoid death. When death comes we cannot keep, or bring it to next life or enjoy those possessions anymore. We spend our whole life acquiring wealth and material ignoring the fact that it does not bring happiness but instead bring more suffering by chasing those material and wealth. Having material wealth does not equate to happiness. Having wealth is not bad but gaining happiness through material possession is false happiness. The moment of death we suffer the most when we see our possession just right infront of our eyes but yet those material cannot do anything to make us happy or save our life.
It is so easy to lose sight of our direction in life due to peer pressure, the demands of society or simply due to our ignorance. Dr Richard Teo had only realised the true meaning of life when he is diagnosed with terminal lung cancel. Dr Teo is not the only one. There are so many of us who fail to realise the real purpose of life or just refuse to accept the truth about impermanence of life. Death is certain. Death can come any moment as what had happened to Dr Teo.
Dr Teo had gained some profound understanding about life, about kindness and caring for others, about serving others and not oneself. His contribution before his death is so beneficial to others. Thank You Dr Richard Teo for your kindness and compassion for others and sharing of your profound understanding.
definitely got me thinking more after reading this…
Wow, reminds of Steve Jobs! The only trouble is if these dental surgeons can’t train their mind, their covetous nature will not be tamed unless they face imminent death just as Dr Teo and Steve Jobs did.
It is sad some people’s minds cannot be tamed till death is taking over their bodies, then it’s too late for anything, even realizations. TR
Thank you Rinpoche and Sharon to let us know this meaningful video. May Dr Teo RIP and have a good rebirth.
This is the very sad fact of realizations when it is too late. It is so “normal”for us to find the real meaning of life when at the point of dying. I am so glad that he has the opportunity to share his realizations with others and hopefully influence them to be more compassionate towards the needy. I will definitely share this wt many to help them with some perspective of on the parallelity of their lives wt Dr. Richard Teo. Thanks so much Rinpoche for sharing this. Thanks Sharon for this gem.