Question asked by "June"
My question is about helping family with money, one of my brothers just called and asked if he could borrow money to get him through the week because he was gonna give all his money to his Mama so she won't get evicted from her apartment, she has asked me for money a lot of times. I am not working and I don't have a lot saved up, and that is what I told him which isn't a lie, I just couldn't come out and say no, but now I feel awful. I also have another brother who is in prison and has been asking me for money a lot, I told him no, my mother has been out of work and asked me for money, she knows I don't have much, I've had a family member ask me for $4,000, I really don't have that. Being out of work is my choice for right now and I saved up so I could live off my savings until I got ready to go back to work. I have made it clear to everyone that knows me that I don't lend money because I have learned my lesson on that. Is that bad for my karma because I didn't help
Dear June,
I understand your situation. You are afraid to lose your hard-earned savings and you do not have much. Some people are afraid of generosity because they feel that they are being exploited. Right now, you do not wish to part with your money. Yet you are worried about your karma.
There is a verse in the Dhammapada that goes like this:
“Misers certainly do not go to heaven. Fools don’t like being generous. But the wise, rejoicing in giving, finds joy in the higher worlds.”
Buddhists believe that attachment and anger will result in rebirth in the lower realms. Buddhists also believe that by giving, we will create the causes to receive. If we believe in karma, we would choose to be generous and give happily without expecting anything in return. Sometimes, the expected reward cannot be seen, for example, the loan is not repaid. But the reward is there because the effect is similar to the cause. If you believe in karma, your reward will come, if not in this life, then in a future life.
From the Buddhist point of view, the advice is – just give happily what you can afford. If there is no attachment to the money, your mind will be relaxed and peaceful. Also be more caring and kind to your relatives. Think of the kindness they have shown you in the past, especially your mother. If you can think of some kind action they have done for you, it’s time to show some gratitude.