Question asked by Eli Levine
Good evening Pastors.
One more question (for now). How does one get rid of memories of past relationships or people you genuinely loved and cared for? Almost 6 years ago, as of today, I met a woman whom I fell in love with, but who didn't love me in return. I've tried correcting all of my actions whenever she has reentered my head, and yet nothing has helped get rid of her memory or what I would consider sincere love for her. I have ceased communicating with her, out of respect for her needs and wishes and I'm afraid to even look at her now in real life or through photographs. Yet I cannot stop feeling and thinking about her, all the same, and I would love for this pain to stop.
Please, what is causing this pain to arise? I know the standard answer is some form of attachment or influence of some past karma. However, all the other women I have had feelings for have slipped away in time naturally. This one is lingering quite potently in my thoughts and feelings. How does one eliminate this kind of root attachment?
Again, I have broken off contacting her and have not communicated to her properly in almost 6 years, yet I'm still being attacked by feelings for her and wanting her. What can I do to stop this, considering how long it's been? Your help would be significantly appreciated.
Thank you for your time and effort.
Dear Eli Levine,
All pain or suffering arises from delusions. The only way out of suffering is to overcome your delusions, in this case, your attachment to this lady. As a Dharma practitioner, you should know that everything, including relationships, is impermanent. You can meditate on death and impermanence or the ugliness of the human body.