Question asked by Lucian
Hello, im sorry for bothering seeing time zone differaces and every thing and my poor grammar skills english not being my first language. I wold like to ask 3 questions if it is alright.1 What is happiness? 2. What is love? 3. Is it wrong to think about the future next to a girl that you met only 5 months ago but she fills you with so much joy and happiness, and makes you feel like a god (sorry if it sounds blasphemous) and you can't see any other girl the way you see her like everything is irrelevant as in not in the same light you see that girl am i just giving myself an illusion even though my heart and mind and soul crave for her ?
Dear Lucian,
1. There are 2 types of happiness: samsaric (temporary/worldly) happiness and real (lasting/ultimate) happiness. Samsaric happiness is like drinking salt water – no matter how much of it we drink, it does not satisfy. It arises from a self-cherishing mind which acts out of desire or attachment. Real or lasting happiness comes from cherishing others and wishing others to be happy and to be free from suffering. As H.E. Tsem Rinpoche said, “How happy we are is how much we do for others.” This is true happiness.
2. Love that arises from attachment or clinging to someone or something is deceptive and impermanent. This type of love is called a delusion because it binds you to samsara. On the other hand, love that is born of kindness and care for others will bring us lasting happiness. According to H.E. Tsem Rinpoche, “True love is simple because it is selfless.” This type of love is not selfish. It is love that combines kindness and compassion for others.
3. “Thinking about the future” is called “unrealistic thinking”. These are your projections and they are not real. It is a cause for developing delusions such as attachment. This is the reason why you are “craving for her”. Such thoughts and feelings are illusory and you will realise one day that they are impermanent. According to Rinpoche, “Finding happiness is elusive if you look in the wrong places.”
My advice is to have a balanced mind, and not be carried away by projections which are self-deceptive. Study the Dharma to understand your mind and learn how to control it through practice and meditation.