Question asked by Eli Levine
Good evening Pastors,
Thank you for your reply, it was helpful. However, I'm still wondering how one can self-check as to whether or not they are on a good path or already are Enlightened? I've had many people in my life play key roles in developing who I am. However, every one of them has shown their human qualities, which makes me doubt them at times, and forces me to rely on my own highly critical judgment of myself. I feel as though I will never really be at peace until I am dead, no matter how many spiritual or worldly accomplishments I achieve in this lifetime. I know that this is the condition of living in existence, and it is the fate of all living beings in the universe. But to me, it feels awful, and the good things that I experience have this foul feel to them of impermanence or superficiality. I know I ultimately cannot help anyone but myself, even though I would love to be able to help anyone and everyone in the best manner that I can, which further sours this place because I can only help beings at their slowest pace possible. Please, how does one develop confidence in their own Buddhahood and/or their present state of Enlightenment?
Your words may be able to put a great deal to rest within me. I was born into this world in the usual fashion (no dreams of elephants, virgin births, or prophecies for me), and I don't like feeling like I won't be truly at peace until the natural or unnatural ending of my life. Hopefully you can help (I know you're going to try, at the very least). Thank you so much! Happy Solstice.
Dear Eli Levine,
Happy Winter Solstice to you too! I like your question. Let me give you a short answer first…if you were enlightened then you would know you are enlightened. So…if you asking this question, then like me, you are probably not enlightened. That is not say you are not on the path to be so.
Let me address your question point by point. The first part is about key people in your life showing their human qualities. Now, i’m not sure if by this you mean spiritual teachers or similar, but I will take it as such. We all hear that certain spiritual teachers, lamas, etc, are enlightened and certainly they have enlightened qualities in them for sure, but the form in which they are in are bound by human constraints. As such it can seem that are not enlightened but are in actual fact very human. They can also test students by acting and behaving in certain ways, to see how the students have actualised transforming their minds. However in any case, having a human form means that they can portray very human qualities, but one thing to remember most importantly is how we react to these instances. The measuring stick of our spiritual journey is how we react to these situations, what we do and how we think about them. This can lead to judgment of oneself, but instead of focusing on the negative, the aim of spiritual practice is to instigate a very powerful shift that occurs when we focus on ways to make things better, make things positive. When this shift occurs, we actually become beneficial agents in the world instead of being caught up in our own self-judgement. No matter how much knowledge a person has on the spiritual path, you cannot progress on the spiritual path without initiating that focal shift away from self-critical thoughts towards living the teachings through action and effort.
You said that you will not be at peace until you are dead, and this is in fact not true. Why is that? Because you haven’t yet been able to make the mind shift away from concentrating on this life, to realizing that you have many more lives in front of you. In the Lam Rim it says that at the beginning stages of practice we must think about and contemplate the fact that we have many future rebirths. In doing so we begin to realize that in all those lives, you will feel exactly as you do now…that life is suffering. This is the first of the Four Noble Truths taught by Shakyamuni Buddha. Knowing this coupled with the fact you feel the impermanent nature of phenomena, should actually propel you to do more, to help others more. We progress on our spiritual path when we concentrate externally to the needs of other sentient beings, rather than internally into our own selves. What you are feeling is perfect actually, but you just don’t see it. You are an example the first Noble Truth, that there is suffering. Now you should try to understand the second, the causes of sufferings (our self-deluded mind), that suffering end as with all phenomena, and that the path out of this suffering is through the spiritual path.
As for developing faith in your own spiritual development, as enlightenment is a stage to be reached, not something that occurs in stages, there are many ways of gauging your progress. The first I would say, is how have you noticed your mind reacts in certain situations. In the past, would you have reacted to the situation in a negative way? Rather than using the experience to delve deeper into your own state of self-pity, self-centeredness, have you used the situation to change yourself to be someone better. Traditionally there are many ways of gauging one’s spiritual path. If you want to know more about this you can read up on the Bodhisattva-Bhumi’s or the 10 stages of a Bodhisattva. I hope this helps!