Question asked by Albert
Dear Pastor. Good evening. I know that as a Buddhist, we should hold the 5 precepts (not killing, not stealing, no sexual misconduct, no lying, no drinking alcohol )well in our daily life. However, what should we do if we sometimes fails to hold these precepts for example, we might accidentally kills mosquito that beaten us ; we might need to have some "social drinking" (alcohol drinks) when we met with client or attending some wedding event ? How can we purified our mistake in offense these 5precepts?
Besides that, I am unclear about the actual Meaning of "no sexual misconduct." Does it means that we only can have sexual activity with our wife/husband ? However between boyfriend and girlfriend? On the other hands, sometimes if one has negative thought about having sexual activity with her husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, does it will offense to this "no sexual misconduct" as well ?
Can Pastor suggest some methods that can let us to hold our precepts well in our daily life? It is because I do have read dharma books, confess whenever I offense those precepts etc, but sometimes I still out of control to offend some of those precepts.
Hope to listen from you soon Pastor.
Ta Si Teh Lek
Dear Albert,
Thank you for your question. It is very good that you know the importance of keeping precepts and vows. When we hold our precepts and vows, we purify our negative karma and accumulate merit, which is essential for progress on our spiritual path. In the case that we break any of the precepts or vows, we need to engage in purification practices in order to stop the karma from multiplying and instead purify it. Below are links to two very potent practice that you can engage in if you do break your precepts. In fact both these practices are very beneficial on the path to enlightenment because they are very powerful practices geared towards the purification of negative karma:
Vajrasattva practice: https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/prayers-and-sadhanas/an-important-purification-practice.html
35 Confessional Buddhas: https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/buddhas-dharma/the-35-confessional-buddhas.html
Both practices need to be engaged in using the Four Opponent Powers, for them to be effective. These are (i) refuge (taking refuge in the Three Jewels), (ii) regret (regretting that you have broken your precepts or created negative karma), (iii) remedy (the actual purification practice), and (iv) resolve (never to commit the same action for as long as possible). Note that number iii (regret) is not the same as guilt. Regret is knowing that your action has caused harm to oneself or another sentient being, and that this has generated negative karma. When we do this, the fault of breaking our precepts is purified. If you like, once in a while, if your guru is bestowing the same precepts, you can take them again to repair them, but it is not entirely necessary to do so.
In the examples you have given, the reason why you would break your precepts is because you are not being mindful of them, therefore you need to train yourself to be able to keep them. For example, most people find it a natural reaction to swat a mosquito that has bitten us, and in the process kill it. However, if we are more mindful of our surroundings, and our precept not to kill, when we are bitten, we train ourselves not to swat the mosquito and kill it. Instead we could blow the mosquito away, rather than kill it. Training to keep the precepts is not an immediate thing, we need to train ourselves over time to be able to keep the precepts well. As for drinking alcohol, this is the same. If we are in situations where we know that there is going to be alcohol served, we should be more mindful to ensure that we keep that precept. Overtime, we will train ourselves to not to drink alcohol in situations where we normally would have, such as at a wedding.
No sexual misconduct, traditionally meant no sexual activity outside of marriage. However the real meaning of sexual misconduct is that one of the people involved is not willing to have sexual relations, for example rape. In the case of a girlfriend/boyfriend, it is not sexual misconduct if both of them are in a stable, loving relationship and both give their consent to do so. In the case of having negative thoughts about the act itself, this does not constitute sexual misconduct.
The way to keep the precepts well, is to train yourself to do so over time. There is no quick fix to be able to keep the precepts well immediately, unless you have very strong Dharma imprints from previous lives. Therefore the way to progress on the path of keeping precepts and vows well is to be mindful of that you have them and keep reminding yourself of them. Overtime, as you continue to train yourself, you will find that you re-habituate yourself to live by them. Coupled with this, are the various purification practices that you can engage in if you do break any of the precepts, and purify any negative karma you have accumulated as a consequence of a particular action, such as killing. I hope this helps.
Thank you.