Question asked by Christy
Hello dear Pastors! I have a problem which has been bothering me for a while: Since I did a lot of studying of the Buddhist practice I have changed throughout the process. I can honestly say that I am a better person than I was before, my heart is open for everyone and I feel for people and animals. My problem is that everysince I am so aware of what actions in life are positive and helpful to others, I of course also notice people around me who are mean, selfish, greedy and bad. I live in a small city and deal with people everyday, but so many of them are not nice and good to others and then it is very very hard for me to be good to them. How can I deal with people like this daily? Their behaviour upsets me since I know that they are on the wrong track. Should I not let it bother me?
Thank you very much for your help in order for me to understand this!
Dear Christy,
I’m very happy to know you have benefited from your spiritual practice. With your knowledge of the Dharma, why don’t you benefit others as well, especially those people around you? They also need the Dharma to become better people. Not having met the Dharma, and living in ignorance life after life, it is no wonder that they are “mean, selfish, greedy and bad” as you said. The way to practise is to be kind whether others are kind or not. Then there is a chance you will be able to influence them to be kind. Apply what you have learned in your daily life. You will encounter many difficult people throughout your life but if your attitude is positive, you will be able to deal with them with patience, knowledge and wisdom. As Mother Teresa said, “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” The fact that you are upset by those people’s behaviour shows that you need to develop patience and recognise qualities in others, not just their faults. In your small city, you can do a lot to bring the Dharma to people. Don’t expect others to respond with gratitude but do it for your own spiritual growth. This advice is from H.E. Tsem Rinpoche. Out of compassion, be an inspiration to others for them to change. People may or may not change but be good to them anyway. I hope this has helped you. Do keep in touch and let us know about your progress.