Question asked by Davidson
Hello, I do not think i am deserving of practicing Tibetan Buddhism. I deeply respect its value and emphasis on altruism and compassion. But that only has led me to being hurt. You see, from where I am from, there are a lot of people who are narcissists and manipulators. Often times when I try to think positively of those people, my hatred for them diminishes and I think that they could never possibly betray, harm or hurt me. And many times, I am left disappointed because I keep getting taken advantage of. I know Buddhism also emphasizes the use of skillful means and wisdom, but I lack proficiency in those areas. I am unable to find a balance. The only solution I can think of is to keep my hatred and resentment towards them. If I try to lessen hatred, It leads me back to thinking only positively of them and me thinking they would never hurt me again. I am uninitiated but i would like to practice Je Tsongkhapa to increase profiency in compassion, power/skill and especially wisdom. But I am quite afraid to do the practice with the "wrong motivation" which is keeping hatred towards those people. I want to regularly chant the Migtsema mantra as I heard it can help develop compassionate, wisdom and skillful qualities quicker. The supreme bodhicitta motivation is for every sentient being including enemies but I just can't seem to let go of my hatred as I feel like its the only thing keeping me aware of their schemes. I am afraid doing the practice with the wrong motivation may cause unintended reversed/negative results instead. This is why I think Tibetan Buddhist practice conflicts with what i am doing. How do I lessen hatred and at the same time watchful of tactics and manipulation? Hope you can help me with this, Thanks
Dear Davidson,
Thank you for your question. You seem to know a little bit about the development of compassion already. However, most people go straight into this and try to develop it from the start. Though this can work, most often this does not, because we simply don’t have the proper foundational practice to develop this effectively without letting it be tainted by emotions or experience that stop us from progressing, as is happening to you.
In the Gelug tradition, we follow the lineage of Lama Tsongkhapa and one of his greatest works, the pillar of the entire Gelug tradition is known as the Lamrim. In that very big teaching, Lama Tsongkhapa lays out the path of practice in a sequential manner. These build upon each other one by one. The development of compassion, or Bodhicitta comes after building up a strong foundation and already having dealt with certain negative emotions, for example hatred. So if your aim is to develop compassion, which is fantastic, you will need to build up that foundation first, so when you focus specifically on developing it, you won’t have such feels any more. I suggest you get hold of a copy of the Lamrim and study it and implement the teachings in your life. We use a text known as Liberation in the Palm of Your Hands as the main Lamrim text here in Kechara, which is an experiential teaching on the Lamrim (https://www.vajrasecrets.com/lamrim-liberation-in-the-palm-of-your-hand).
In regards to chanting the Migtsema, don’t worry about it. Chanting it is better than not chanting it at all. Over time as you progress in your Dharma practice you motivation will change not to include keeping those negative emotions, and at the same time protecting you from being harmed by those people. You should combine the chanting with the actually practice of Lama Tsongkhapa’s Guru Yoga, which contains the Migtsema. The power of the practice and the mantra itself will have a very beneficial impact on your mind and help you. I hope all of this helps. Thank you.