Question asked by Elena
Hi. I have a bad relationship with my parents. especially with my mom. she always criticize me or verbally abuse me all the time. because of this, whenever someone mentions motherly Buddhist deities such as green Tara or Guan yin, I begin to think that they will criticize me or look down on me if I do something wrong in Buddhist practice. And I don't know why but there is this resentment feeling towards any motherly figure. I want to get rid of it because I know these enlightened deities are free from hatred. how do I overcome this?
Dear Elena,
I’m very sorry to hear that you are going through such experiences. In regards to this because of the association with motherly qualities to deities such as Green Tara, you are having such negative thoughts. The reason for this is because you are projecting you notions of ‘motherly’ on these deities due to your life experiences, not what ‘motherly’ actually means when in relation to these deities. The best way to get rid of these negative thoughts can be done in two ways: the first is to read and learn more about the deities themselves and how they are actually ‘motherly’. When learning about them, you will learn and understand what qualities they have, these will be different than your experiences with your mother. As you learn more about them, then these negative thoughts about them will lessen.
The second way, which is a lot harder, is to deal with the emotional trauma that you have experienced itself. To learn not to have negative thoughts towards you mother. This can be done by actually practising the Dharma, which is to implement the teachings into your life and to transform your mind, not simple reciting prayers and mantra. The Lamrim teachings is a great guide to do this, if this is something that you want to do. I hope all of this helps and you are able to get rid of the negative thoughts towards the deities, as you do have faith in them. Thank you.