Question asked by Eli Levine
Good evening Pastors,
I would describe myself as a practicing Buddhist, keenly aware of how much suffering needless attachment brings upon the individual mind. I am aware of the methods of how to relieve oneself of those attachments, yet am finding myself still wanting the same person who rejected me almost 6.5 years ago and highly reluctant to warm up to people who are much more worthy and desiring of my affections. This is not the first time I've come to Kechara seeking refuge from this seemingly common, yet uncommon illness of unrequited love. I just can't seem to erase the woman in question from my mind nor to be able or willing to let go, for some reason. I would not call this "suffering" in the sense that I cannot live or meet other people and date them. If you want my candid opinion, I'd say that the rejection back when I was 19 was for a myriad of reasons, including her recent painful break-up with a previous boyfriend of hers and the fact that neither of us were terribly mature enough at the time to delve really deeply into a relationship of any significance. I suppose it's just that she left me feeling an extreme lack of closure and a lurking sensation that the relationship between us wasn't going to be over at that "no". Out of curiosity, is there a way to pray for an effective and speedy absolution in this matter, such that I can be resolved, one way or another and be able to go about my life in peace? I'm talking with another girl, even though she's very far away from me who's very nice and seems to really care about me, as far as I can tell. I know that it may not seem like a concern for the Enlightened Sangha, but it's very much a powerful concern for me in the layman's world of humanity. I only want to do right by myself and all other people concerned in the matter. Any advice that you could give or ways to bring about an effective, solid resolution to this conundrum would be extremely appreciated.
Thank you and have a wonderful day!
Dear Eli Levine,
May I suggest you engage in the practice of the Guru Yoga of Lama Tsongkhapa and the practice of Dharmapala Dorje Shugden. Lama Tsongkhapa’s Guru Yoga will help to calm your mind while the practice of Dorje Shugden will help eliminate obstacles to your desired aim. Please remember to engage in the visualizations of the practices as this way they will be more effective, as you will be engaging your whole being in the practice, eg. Body (sitting in meditation posture), Speech (the recitation of the prayers and particularly the mantras) and the Mind (the visualization process).
I also suggest that you engage in meditation on death. This in and off itself will help you to realize and let go of the feelings you have been holding on to for so long.