Question asked by Irwanto
I recently saw a tsem rinpoche's video that explains that it is okay to do a "white lie" in order not to make other people suffer.Another source states that it's going to depend on your motivation. Like for example many high lamas speak straight to the facts and it will hurt you but since the motivation is compassion, the lama will not reap a bad karma. My question is if our ultimate goal is to liberate other from samsara, should we always strive to tell the truth even though it hurts? I know that a layperson like me did not have the ability like other highly attained lamas so I will reap some bad karma if i speak straight all the time, but if it's gonna be helping them in the long term and the motivation right should I be able to speak straight all the time ?
Dear Irwanto,
Thanks for your question. Actually, the motivation that was mentioned is exactly that you want to save people from suffering. They are one and the same, what Tsem Rinpoche said and what the other source says.
I’ll give an example of a white lie, if you see someone running away from a murderer and then the murderer comes up to you and asks you which way the victim went, you would tell a white lie and say you didn’t see or perhaps you tell the murderer the wrong direction. In that instance, what is motivation it is to ensure that the victim is not harmed, that they do not suffer.
When it comes to us telling the truth, then yes we also need to keep our vows and commitments of not lying, then we should tell the truth. However, this always depends on the situation. If the truth is painful for that person now, but can help that person to transform so that it leads to less suffering in the future then we should tell the truth. However, it is not as simple as just that. There are other factors involved as well, for example, being skilfull. If you are not skilfull, you could hurt the other person so much that it’s causes lasting emotional damage.
Speaking straight and telling the truth are two different things. There are many ways of telling the truth, but doing so in a manner that does not hurt others. “speaking straight” is not always the correct way of doing things, but that doesn’t mean you have to tell lies, it’s just how you tell the truth that matters because the delivery of a message can also cause suffering. It must be done in a skilful way. I hope that helps.