Question asked by Jason
I'm currently doing a heruka vajrasattva retreat and I have noticed that I'm running in to some very serious issues. I had to go to urgent care because I blacked out due to pain in my lower regions. I also bit my tongue when I blacked out and now have two deep 1 cm lacerations on my tongue…. I read that obstacles and health issues are a sign of progress but this has really shaken me… I am however still dedicated to finishing 111000 long mantra and have not broken the retreat even though I can only do on mala per day right now due to injury. WHAT SHOULD I DO? Should I stop the retreat? Has something gone terribly wrong?
Dear Jason,
Heruka Vajrasattva is a purification practice. Everything that you are experiencing is the effects of that purification. If you are engaging in the full retreat, you will have done a puja before the retreat started, such as Kalarupa puja to remove obstacles, and during your retreat, you should be engaging in Dharma Protector practice to help lessen the physical obstacles. Hopefully, you are doing that.
However, you are experiencing a lot of physical obstacles. You need to contact your guru that gave you the Heruka Vajrasattva initiation immediately and seek for help. If you cannot contact him/her directly, please contact his senior students or his Dharma centre or organisation for help. As you have a guru-disciple relationship, we cannot come in the way and give you advice about what to do as this may counter your guru-disciple bond with your guru.
If however, you are practising without having the appropriate initiation, please stop immediately. Heruka Vajrasattva is a tantric practice that requires initiation taken from a qualified guru who is supposed to guide you in the practice and retreat. It will create a lot of physical and Dharma obstacles if you are practising without the initiation.
I hope you are able to contact your guru to help solve this issue. Thank you.