Question asked by Melanie P
Good evening Pastor
Everything I do will not work out.
All my plans will have to change many times.
Example : if buy a house .. stay in that house not happy always argue with husband
If my child want to go school … change 2 Or 3 times only my son will settle
Always must have a problem with something I do.
I am married with 3 Children …
all my life my parents never help me … selfish
Now my husband also selfish .
As I grow older I feel sad and lonely
Please advice me
Dear Melanie P
Thank you for your questions. I am sorry to hear that you have been going through such a difficult time. The Buddha has taught that the way we think and behave is based on something called projections and expectations. When we do anything, from buying a house, or even in our relationships with others, we want the situation to go the way we want it to. However this is not the way things really work out. This may sound unfair, but unfortunately it is just the way things are.
That is the reason that Buddhism teachings to live in the present moment, without having expectations and projections of how things should be. It is the reason so many people have benefited through Buddhist practice, because it alleviates our suffering. But this suffering we face can be immense. To learn more about this, you can ready and study the Liberation in the Palm of Your Hand, which is step by step guide to reach enlightenment, and along the way solve our own problems and overcome negative states of mind. You can purchase a copy online here: https://www.vajrasecrets.com/lamrim-liberation-in-the-palm-of-your-hand. Alternative, your local bookstore should be able to order a copy for you if they do not stock it themselves.
Coupled with this however, you need to first calm your mind so you no longer feel so sad and lonely, and then engage in the practice of a Dharma protector, who can help to overcome the obstacles you face in life. One such practice is the joint practice of Lama Tsongkhapa’s Guru Yoga and Dorje Shugden practice. You can find the text for this practice here: http://www.dorjeshugden.org/practice/diamond-path-a-daily-sadhana-of-dorje-shugden
Lama Tsongkhapa’s practice is very beneficial in and alleviating it of negative emotions. Once we are in a better frame of mind, we can face the challenges of life better. You can find a commentary to this practice here: https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/me/tsongkapas-daily-practice-video-commentary.html. If you are feeling depressed, His Eminence Tsem Rinpoche has given a very powerful teaching in the past called Sayonara to Depression, which you can watch here: https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/buddhas-dharma/sayonara-to-depression.html I hope this helps. Please do write back if you have any further questions.
Thank you