Question asked by Shirley Maya Tan
Dear Rinpoche,
As I understand transformation is an on-going process. Sometimes we seem to be making progress of leaps and bounds. But at other times, we seem to fall a few paces backwards. How do we minimize this unstable phases? I find that with every phase of trying to break through another level, there is much 'chaos' going inside. Sometimes it seems like the battle never ends and it gets harder. Is this a good or bad sign?
We move ahead a few steps, then we go back a few steps…we find it hard to battle the ‘inner demons’ within ourselves fighting all the time…we find the secret struggles never end…it almost seems futile… we find transformation so difficult. Does it get any easier? It doesn’t get easier. The battle never stops. It gets worse and the struggles will bring us down. THAT IS GOOD. If there was no battle, then we know we are on the wrong path. The battle is actually our own efforts….efforts long overdue and weak at this point. Sometimes we fall because most of the time we were down, and now we are starting to get up, as we get up we fall. The fact that we fall, means we are getting up again and again. Remember Buddha under the Bodhi Tree in the last watch of the night, the maras attacked Him full force…even one so close to Buddhahood was attacked…so imagine for us? Never give up..because there is nothing to give up for….Tsem Rinpoche