Question asked by Sirio
Dear Pastors,
My name is Sirio, I'm 22yo, I’m from Argentina.
I practiced Buddhism for two years, but about six months ago, I stopped because I felt I wasn’t making progress and was struggling with my understanding of other religions. However, two days ago, I realized that leaving Buddhism was a mistake, and I want to return to my practice. At the same time, I feel ashamed for having left the Dharma.
I began my Buddhist journey thanks to Rinpoche, which I consider the best decision I’ve ever made. I’m incredibly grateful that I was able to watch Rinpoche’s videos—they changed my life forever. Now, I feel ashamed that I may have disappointed him.
Before I stopped practicing, I was making daily offerings, practicing Guru Yoga of Lama Tsongkhapa as my main practice, confessing to the 35 Buddhas, and doing the Dorje Shugden free sadhana given by Rinpoche. I also love reading Dharma texts.
I’ve started chanting Migtsema again, and it brings me great peace. I truly want to return to my practice, but I’m unsure how to do so. Additionally, I feel lonely and lost, as there is no Buddhist community near me. Sometimes I consider to become a monk, but I do not know how to do that from the contry I am now.
I would deeply appreciate any guidance you can offer.
Best regards,
Sirio
Dear Sirio,
Nice to meet you, thank you for your message.
I have read your message, and there is no need to feel ashamed or bad about it. You are still quite young in a non-Buddhist country so it natural that you will explore other spiritual paths. But one thing is for certain, that you seem serious about spiritual practice. So don’t feel bad, it’s a good thing.
You haven’t disappointed Rinpoche at all. If after exploring other paths, you have decided to practice Buddhism again, it’s okay. It shows that the Buddhist path is for you.
For now, you can just start practising what you were before, these are all extremely beneficial practices. Learn how to do them well, you can find resources here on this website that will help you a lot. The practice of Lama Tsongkhapa’s Guru Yoga is excellent. You can find a commentary by Rinpoche here: https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/me/tsongkapas-daily-practice-video-commentary.html Watch and learn from the commentary slowly over time, and your practice will stabilise.
The next time you engage in the practice of the 35 Confessional Buddhas, if you still feel bad, think about and realise that they are helping to purify any negative karma or negative thoughts you may have had. And once you are finished, let go of it. It’s been fully purified and then continue on to practice what you were previously. This will be very good.
In addition, you learn more from Rinpoche’s teachings and read Dharma books. But when doing so, apply it to your own life and transform yourself slowly to become and better person for yourself and also for those around you. That is the core of Dharma practice. For now, you can do this. If you have any questions, ask here or you can contact us privately as well. You can find our contact details here: https://www.kechara.com/contact/
I hope this helps. You have our prayers for successful your spiritual journey!