We are all hypocrites?
In the spiritual sense, when you always say you are disappointed in others and that is why you gave up, it’s only another way of covering your own shortfalls you don’t want to deal with because where and who will you meet that will not disappoint you? ~Tsem Rinpoche
(It is about using all sorts of excuses to fail in the improvement of ourselves. It’s using excuses to blame others because we keep failing because we don’t change our method. It’s about being jealous of others who do well because they work hard and sacrifice and we want what they have without the effort. It’s like we get revenge on others for ‘making’ us this and that or we cannot stand they can be without us. It’s about getting them back because they ‘exposed’ my ‘non-existent’ negative aspects and I want them hurt because the truth came out of why I failed. Or unhappy they did well without us. That they didn’t give us what we wanted so they are bad and I must destroy them. We can use all our time, energy, resources and our ‘friends’ to get revenge and destroy the people we perceived as hurting us or we can move on and use our energies to be successful. After all the best ‘revenge’ if we have to have get revenge is to be successful. We prove to them our methods worked. That would mean we put our energies into our success. If we continue to do nothing and fail, then they were right? If we keep repeating we are happy, then we are not. Remember who we exact revenge on may in return stop us finally and we end up worse. Better look within us and see what we need to change in the face of our hurt, pain and anger. We can be angry, hurt and in pain, but the ultimate source is where? Check within. Find the changes we need within. Sometimes when we do nothing to improve ourselves or our situation and claim depression (non-clinical) or whatever excuses is a sort of revenge too. We want others to suffer for what they ‘did’ to us. So we do nothing. Perhaps to be rescued again. Destroying our enemy may give us a false sense of victory or achievement, but in the end someone will get us and it doesn’t end. We lose. Face ourselves and blossom. 🙂 Flowers don’t compete with each other, they just blossom to add beauty.
It is about facing ourselves and dealing with ourselves the right way without putting others down.
Change ourselves. People will always ‘get you’. So what? Who can really protect themselves except live on an island on your own. Do not use others as an excuse to fail because it doesn’t work that way. No one will buy that line forever. Because you will be in another situation where you fail again and again and people will be tired of you blaming others again. So many of us fail because we don’t address why we really failed internally and change that which is within us, but we want to point externally. Some people really have many external factors that really did make them fail, but they change their attitude and still succeed! They are inspirations.
An inspirational person is inspirational because they went through so much to get where they are and did not have it easy. Who inspires others by quitting and doing nothing? You may have friends that ‘support’ you that are like-minded, but guess what, it could just be group hiding. You’re hiding within the group with each other? Numbers give false courage perhaps. Suddenly doing totally opposite of what we have been proclaiming we are passionate about is telltale also. Sooner or later it will be discovered.
Sure there are real circumstances where people get us, hurt us and they really did this. But what did you learn from that and do you stay down? Or learn, grow, rise, make the effort and succeed? Look at our own lives and what results we have? If none, then contemplate why and be honest.
Having kids and family are not huge accomplishments our gurus explained, because even animals can rear kids. That is just instincts perhaps. There are more than just a family and paying bills. It is just our neurosis of hiding again and not dealing with the truth. RESULTS SHOW no matter how we ‘justify’. If there are results, then what others say will be throwing an egg against a boulder. I mean this in the spiritual and psychological sense of how our minds work and trick us and we make ourselves lose and be unhappy. This is not judging success as that is subjective. This is not about judging others.
I am a monk and Buddhist teacher, so what else am I suppose to teach but what is in our minds that make us unhappy? Even if you may feel I am pinpointing you which I am not. Don’t blame me please, I am just the vehicle 🙂 sharing dharma. Dharma is your ‘enemy’. Not me. But actually Dharma is not your enemy so be honest. I am suppose to point out what harms. My duty is to share the laws of cause and effect. I am suppose to help you to ‘expose’ yourself to your degrees of laziness, fears, traumas, pains, loneliness, guilt, failures, ignorance, unhappiness and where it comes from. So you have the knowledge to eradicate it and be uplifted. All Dharma teachers in the past did the same. All Dharma books does the same thing. If everyone is perfect and enlightened, we don’t need Dharma books or teachers. All Dharma books ever speak of is our 84,000 afflictions, their causes and antidotes! Is this judging us? Of course not! When a psychologist tells you your fears, wrong behavior, anger and their source, should you exact revenge on him for trying to help you heal? Of course not! All dharma teachers share that truth and apply methods to help us alleviate the afflictions one by one! How kind is that? So when a teacher explains the problems, it is not judgement so don’t be angry. It’s your fears and ignorance that are threatened. Some people have gotten angry with me or wish revenge because I taught them the dharma or ‘dared’ to tell them what they were doing to make things unhappy. What am I suppose to say? Go drink, go gamble, go womanize, lie, fail, hide, blame others and be selfish? If I do I die, if I don’t I die is the situation some people put dharma teachers into. I am a monk and I am suppose to share the laws of cause and effect and go into detail when appropriate. I am not telling you it’s from me or I am perfect or judging you. Don’t use the label judge to shut the truth out. It’s your own insecurities labelling truth as judgement. So do I teach or not? If I teach you are unhappy with truth. If I don’t teach, you are unhappy because you don’t know the causes of your unhappiness. If you are not told, I am not doing my duty. If you are told, then I am a bad person for being so judgemental of you! LOL.
Also your dharma and real friends are suppose to tell you the truth of what they observe over time too because they care not because they are high and mighty or judging you. Don’t label everything as judgement or negative so you can continue to hide as you are losing time. Come out of the dark and it’s hard, but worth it! 🙂 You may or may not like me or find my methods to your suitability. Don’t use that as an excuse to block the truth. Sometimes our ‘enemies’ tell us the truth about ourselves that a ‘friend’ dare not say for fear of offending us. The most imperfect person can still alert you to something that is true and can help you. Accept it and change. Where this karmic truth comes from should not matter, just listen, adapt and amend to be successful. Successful people don’t waste time on anger, revenge, hiding, complacency or where the truth should come from, but just adapt, change and apply! 🙂 In the end when you make it, everyone will talk about all the things you did and didn’t do anyways. Let go. No one wins within samsara only by expelling it.
The dharma and or truth may seem harsh to people who don’t want to accept truth. Sometimes we make enemies when we tell them the truth because they requested or felt you threatened them or judged them and that is not the case. Everything said about us can be classified as either judgment or honest truth of how we are at the moment. Important to stress that: how we are at the moment is not permanent. We can take it either way. If we say it’s judgment, then perhaps we are hiding? If we say, well it’s not nice to hear, but let me do something about it, then we learned something vital towards happiness and success and living with others and living with ourselves.
In a way we are all hypocrites to some degree because we are not enlightened and we must realize this. We should embrace this as motivational to learn more and apply and not another excuse to be complacent, give up, fail or just be angry. What is important is the degree of hypocrisy we are conscious of or allow that benefits us or makes us fail. Using hypocrisy as an excuse to be angry, to fail or not improve our potential only hurts ourselves in short and long run. Every day you waste is a day closer to our deaths and that is final. Every day wasted is another day we could have gone in the direction of achieving something beneficial before that finality.
Achieving something and having something is subjective of course like Milarepa had ‘nothing’, but he was totally successful. The great soul Mahatma Gandhi had ‘nothing’ materially but achieved so much. We can too. Change within and stop blaming others no matter how hard it is to break this harmful habit. Don’t spiral into the dark side because the night is long. 🙂
Read the inspirational biographies of achievers to bring strength and inner courage.
I wish you success truly,
Tsem Rinpoche)
~~~ （中文翻译）~~~
我们都是虚伪的？
从灵性的角度出发，当你经常说对人感到失望，并且是你选择放弃的理由，这不过是你掩饰自己不愿意面对的不足的另一个方法而已。毕竟在这个世界上，有谁是不会让你失望的呢？
实际上是我们在利用各种各样的借口，来掩饰自己无法有所改进的事实。由于我们不愿意改变自己所用的方法，于是我们利用多种说辞责怪他人，为我们的失败找个下台阶。当我们这么做，其实反映了我们妒忌别人的成就，可他们的成就不是理所当然的，他们努力付出过，也牺牲过，但你却想不劳而获？这其实也像我们责怪别人害我们陷入这样或那样的困境，于是我们要进行报复。又或者我们无法忍受别人没有我们依然可以成功？你可以说你想报复他们揭露你那些“不存在”的缺点，你想伤害他们，因为你不愿意面对自己的失败恰好应正了他们所说的话的事实。或是因为别人没有你也依然能成功而不高兴。你说他们没给你你想要的，于是他们是坏人，我们必须“对付”他们。可你知道吗？我们可以用上所有的时间、经历、资源及人脉去报复及“摧毁”那些你认为伤害你的人，又或者选择往前看，致力取得成功。然而，若真需要“报复”，最好的“报复”就是取得成功。我们向那些伤害我们的人证明，我们选择的道路不是错的，这也意味着我们为证明自己而付出努力。你想想看，如果我们继续什么都不做，继续失败，那么不就意味着别人所说的话是对的？如果我们重复催眠自己“我很快乐”，其实你并不是真的快乐。记住，我们想报复的对象最终会回头向我们报复，结果将会更糟。于是，我们应该看看自己的内心，在伤痛及愤怒的面前，我们更应该看自己需要改变什么。感到气愤、受伤及痛苦没什么不对，但我们得知道，这种种感受最究竟的源头在哪里？其实就在我们的心里。从心中找出我们需要做哪些改变。有的时候当我们不为改进自己或当下的情况而做什么，然后又说自己面对情绪病的困扰（不经临床证实）或以其他的措辞做掩饰，这其实也是一种报复。我们要别人为对我们做过的事承受痛苦，于是我们什么都不做，或许是等待再次被“救援”。“摧毁”我们的敌人也许会给我们胜利或成就的错觉，然而到了最后，另一个人又会伤害我们，而这将变成无止境的恶性循环，我们终将是输家。勇敢地面对自己，活出自己才是正道。百花不争艳，它们百花齐放，只为世界增添色彩。
人生中重要的是诚实地面对自己，好好地跟自己相处，不把别人踩在脚底下。
改变自己更为重要。別人总会跟你找麻烦，但那又有什么关系呢？谁又能全身而退，毫无损伤呢？除非你独自生活在一座岛上。别拿别人当作失败的借口，因为事实就非如此。没有人会一直买你的帐，因为下次你一样会一而再，再而三的经历失败，那个时候人们会对你不停地责难他人而感到厌倦。我们大多数人之所以失败，因为我们不真的往内心检讨失败的原因并且做出内心的转变，更忙着往外找错处。一些人确实面对许多外在因素的挑战，外在的事物也是让他们失败的原因，但他们在改变了态度之后依然可以成功。他们的经历非常鼓舞人心。
一个人之所以能启发人心，是因为他们历经了那么多的艰难，才能走到今日，他们走的路并非顺遂如意的。有哪个轻易放弃，什么都不做的人能启发别人呢？你或许会有跟你持有相同的想法的朋友“支持”你，但他们也可以是跟你一样，都是在逃避的一群。你们在一群人当中互相逃避？是人数给了你们虚无的勇气吧？你突然违背自己过去的立场，违背自己过去热情追逐的理想，这种行为是无法被掩饰的，别人迟早都会发现。
别人会伤害、针对我们是肯定会有的事，但我们要自问是否从那些经历中学到了什么，我们是否因此而一蹶不振？或是你从中吸取教训、成长并站起来，努力取得成功？回看自己的生命，我们有哪些成就？如果一无所成，我们就要去思考为什么并坦承面对自己的答案。
我们的上师都曾向我们解释：成家生子并不是大成就，因为就连动物也懂得抚育幼子。这或许不过是一种天性。人生中除了家庭和柴米油盐之外，还有其他的东西。是我们的逃避心理再一次不愿面对真相。结果会“揭露”一切，不论我们如何辩解。如果我们有所成就，那么别人的流言蜚语也只是有如以卵击石那样脆弱。我这句话是从修行的角度出发，也从心理的角度出发。这就是我们的内心如何“运作”跟欺骗我们的方式，更是让我们感到不快乐及失败的原因。我并非在为成功下标准，因为成功是主观的。我也并非在审判任何人。
我是一个出家人，也是一位佛法老师，除了教导大家如何观照自心，找出让我们不快乐的原因，我还应该教什么呢？即使你认为我在针对你，我并没有。別把怒气归咎在我头上，我只是一个跟大家分享佛法教诲的媒介。佛法才是你的“敌人”，不是我。然而事实上佛法也不是你的敌人，于是你要诚实对待自己。我的责任是指出对你有害的事物。我的工作是分享因果的法则。我理应帮助你“揭露”自己怠惰、恐惧、创伤、痛苦、孤独、内疚、失败、无知、不快乐的程度，并且帮助你找到它们源自哪里。在了解、找到问题的根源了之后，你就拥有根除问题的知识，然后重拾快乐。过去所有的佛法老师都做相同的事。所有的佛法书籍，都有相同的作用。如果每个人都是完美或已成就证悟，那么我们就不再需要佛法书籍或上师了不是吗？无论何时，所有的佛书都讲述众生的八万四千之苦痛、苦痛之因及对治方法。难道它们全都是来审判你的吗？当然不是！当一个心理医生跟你分析出你的恐惧、错误的举止、愤怒及它们的源头时，你会因为对方帮助你疗愈而对他进行报复吗？当然不会！所有的佛法老师都跟人们分享赤裸裸的真相，并且千方百计地帮助我们减轻一个又一个的苦痛，这若非慈悲，它能是什么？因此当上师向我们解释我们有哪些问题的时候，它都不是什么审判，于是你也就别动怒。你应该知道，当上师告知真相时，我们的恐惧和无知受到了威胁。有的人确实动怒了，或想报复我，只因为我把佛法传授了给他们，并且“敢于”向他们揭露他们的哪些行为让他们不快乐。身为一名上师，我不说这些，还能说什么？难不成我要向弟子说：“去酗酒吧！去赌博吧！去沉迷女色吧！去欺骗、堕落、逃避、事事责怪，做个自私的人吧”？有的人还真把上师逼入左右为难的窘境。我是一名出家人，我本来就应该教授因果法则，并在适当的时候做深入的讲述。我并不是在告诉你那些教诲全都创自我或我是完美的，甚至在审判你。别把“别人在审判我”的标签用作拒绝真相的东西。事实上是你的不安把真相标签成了审判。那么我是教授佛法还是不教授好呢？如果我教授，你又因为真相被揭露而不高兴；如果我就从此不教授了，你也会不快乐，因为你不晓得你的不快乐源自哪。如果我不告诉你真相，我就是没在履行责任；如果我把真相告诉你，我就成了对你苛刻审判的恶人。哈哈！
你的同修及真心朋友们将坦白地告诉你他们长时间相处的观察，因为他们真的关心你，而非因为他们比你高尚或是在审判你。别把所有的事物都标签成审判或是负面的，以让自己能继续逃避，我们都没剩下太多的时间。从黑暗的角落走出来吧！虽然不容易，但值得我们去努力。你也许会喜欢我或不喜欢我，我的方法也许适合你或不适合你，但别用这个理由当借口，拒绝接受真相。有的时候我们的“敌人”会非常直接地告诉我们自己有什么问题，反而是“朋友”因为害怕得罪我们而不敢直接开口。即便是这个世界最恶劣的人也能点醒你并且启发你。接受别人的话，改变自己。真相“从何而来”不重要，重要的是我们听进去、照着做，改变自己并且取得成功。成功的人不会将时间耗在愤怒、报复、躲避、自满或追究真相从何而来，他们只会调适自己，改变自己，然后往成功前进。到了最后当你登上高峰时，每个人都会议论你所做过的事，以及未曾做过的事，于是我们不必太介怀。没有人在娑婆中获胜，除非我们能从中解脱。
对于不愿意接受真相的人，佛法的教诲或真相就会相当刺耳。有时我们在别人的要求下，或是别人觉得我们威胁、审判他们的情况下而成了他们的“敌人”，但我们毫无那样的意思。每一个对我们的评语，我们都能把它们归类成是一种别人对我们的审判，或是别人对当下的我们最诚实、直白的看法。我必须强调这一点：不管当下的我们是如何，它都不是永恒不变的。对于别人的话，我们可以看成是审判，也可以看成是忠言。如果我们看成是审判，那么或许是我们在逃避些什么？如果我们觉得那些话刺耳无比，那么我们就该有所行动，那么我们就能学到如何通往快乐、成功、能坦诚对待自己及他人的道路这个非常宝贵的一堂课。
在某个程度上我们所有人都是虚伪的，因为我们都还未达成证悟，这一点我们必须清楚了知。我们应该接受每个人在某个程度上都是虚伪的事实，然后以此为推动自己学习更多，而不是以此为借口，放任自己做个自满、轻易言弃、失败或充满愤怒的人。我们能清醒得意识到自己的虚伪程度也相当重要，否则它会倒过来影响我们——结果可以是正面的，也可以是负面的。以人人都虚伪为借口而愤怒、不思进取或不提高自己的潜能，不管是短期或长远来看，这样的心态只会对我们有百害而无一利。你浪费的每一天都是走近死亡的每一天，而死亡是谁人都无法改变的事实。逝去的每一天也可以是我们努力在死亡来临前成就些有益事物什么的一天。
成就什么及拥有什么当然是主观的。像是米勒日巴，他一无所有，但他有极高的成就。伟大的灵魂——圣雄甘地以一样在物质层面上一无所有，但他却成就了那么多。我们也可以做到。从内心开始改变，不论多艰难，都要停止事事责难别人的恶习。别堕入黑暗的漩涡，因为“夜晚”总是悠长。
多去阅读成功者的生平故事，以给自己带来力量和内在的勇气。
诚心希望你成功的詹杜固仁波切 上
Please support us so that we can continue to bring you more Dharma:
If you are in the United States, please note that your offerings and contributions are tax deductible. ~ the tsemrinpoche.com blog team
Accept things as they are, and look realistically at the world around us. Sometimes we have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to how they use to be. Even when times get really, nor matter what we still have to move on. Appreciate our mistakes for what they are and that’s where we can only be learned the hard way. Mistakes are a part of life, we accept take action and we learn from them. Even though it is painful way to learn, but without pain, there’s no gain. Well I found that to be true in my life.
Thank you Rinpoche for this sharing reminding us to accept and change for the better.
I was once a hypocrites before but coming to Dharma I came out from a nut shell and still learning. Positive thinking, rather, is used so that we can learn, grow, and evolve from what we experience in life. When failure is possible, view it as a challenge, as it makes us stronger. Accept whatever comes along , mistakes and try to correct it and move on. Its better to learn our mistakes then not knowing it. I don’t mind to accept mistakes as I learn from it , with a positive mind. Profound teachings indeed.
Thank you Rinpoche for this great teachings. Will read again and again to remind myself.
Spirituality is not an easy path to walk on. Being spiritual is not about not harming people but is to look into our faults and transform to become better. Most of us don’t see where our problems are, we like to blame others for our unhappiness.
Happiness is a state of mind, it is not something given by others. When people point out our faults, we should feel grateful. If they don’t point out our faults, we will not improve. Our teacher does not want anything from us but he wants us to be happy. If he points our faults out, it is because he cares, it is not out of his anger or he wants to make us feel bad.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you for the teaching. This article reminds me to self-check myself, see what I need to change in order to face my hurt, pain and anger. Blaming is not the way, especially when we engage ourself in teamwork.
Recently I engaged myself in an event, along the way I saw how the team worked seamlessly with each other and backed each other. The event was needless to say a success finally and the team achieved another milestone for the department.
“Flowers don’t compete with each other, they just blossom to add beauty”. I will paste Rinpoche’s quotes on my laptop wall to remind me, no more judgement and complain, focus on the objective brings more benefit to others and at the same time achieve my spiritual practice.
Humbly with love, hand folded,
Ng Jesvin
I agree that I am also a hypocrites. Why? Because it is not easy to accept our negative self when any one pointed it out to me. I prefer to hide and not talk about it because I don’t want to look bad. Rinpoche pointed it out correctly, if we don’t face and accept it, we will never improve.
Then we will not be satisfied and keep dwelling in the unhappiness state.
Thank you Rinpoche for reminding us – accept and change.
Nothing bad with being a hypocrite but something bad with knowing you are a hypocrite, and doing nothing about it.
Also, when taking advice, we shouldn’t dismiss people and say they are not qualified to give us advice because they are hypocrites. Buddha is perfect and he is not a hypocrite, yet we don’t follow all his teachings. So who is the real problem, the advisor’s hypocrisy or us not wanting to listen to feedback so we use hypocrisy as an excuse to not listen and improve?
If we are unhappy, we will be unhappy whether we are in dharma or not. Disappointment exist wherever we go. It takes the same effort and emotion to deal with disappointment with people inside dharma and outside dharma. So disappointment is not the logical reason for giving up dharma.
Our failures will follow us wherever we go if we do not make any changes. I’ve worked in quite a few different countries around the world, on the surface it looks like career progress and each time I tell myself I will live my life differently this time but it never happens. I took the same “me” from one situation to another situation. Different country, different culture, different job but still the same mind.
In a way we are all hypocrites and it’s okay to recognize this. It’s probably easier to confront our true self than all the efforts put in to hide and still ends up nowhere.
Another teaching that really inspire me. Thank you so much.
Like everything else in life, all things are subject to impermanence yes it is hard to accept that we are a hypocrite that says one thing and does another but it is not a permanent state of existence. This state that we are in can change too. Like they always say buddha was once mundane but he has transcended the ordinary to become a being respected and whose teachings are practiced by many people all over the world now.
Dear Rinpoche,
You has brighter up my day, Thank you very much.
Time is like water of a river, we cant touch the same water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again.
Dear Rinpoche,
Blaming others is easy.
Taking revenge is only short-timed as I know that the problem is not “them” but me.
I need to change, one day after another and gain myself the results i want. Better putting the energy in this as revenge will only lead further down and will bring negative karma and it will be even more difficult to change.
Thank You Rinpoche for Your Compassion.
Thank you Rinpoche for the teaching. We are all hypocrites to some degree and this happens to myself. Sometimes, I feel so hurts and pain when someone tells me of my shortcoming or “criticising” me. I try to hide and stay away from those people until I have forgotten it or my pain relieved. Thank you Rinpoche for all the teaching because I understand whatever I am experiencing know comes from my karma and my ego. I should gratefully accept it and let go. Time is so short and we should use it for something more beneficial.
In the spiritual sense, when you always say you are disappointed in others and that is why you gave up, it’s only another way of covering your own shortfalls you don’t want to deal with because where and who will you meet that will not disappoint you? ~Tsem Rinpoche
Many of us give up and leave and start to blame the others for our own failure, but in actual fact, we are just covering our own shortfalls that we are afraid to face and deal with. Most of us are used to blaming others and getting revenge on others because of something we cannot achieve. We don’t acknowledge our own failures, our own shortcomings, our own faults and yet we want success. We all have to start facing ourselves, look into our qualities be it good or bad and transform and change ourselves in order to achieve what we want to achieve. We should all stop living within our own lies and avoiding all sorts of difficulties. In the end, there’s no one to blame but ourselves. Why put so much effort and thought into plotting revenge to others and not put the time into transforming and changing ourselves? We are all hypocrites as long as we continue to blame and blame and blame.. Stop blaming and start transforming. Thank You Rinpoche for constantly guiding us to our spiritual path and showing us the truth that most of us try our best to avoid and not face them.
I admit, I am one of the biggest hypocrite here, losing sight of the truth and avoiding it by blaming other, external factors. This is something I wish to stop because at the end of the day, the pain is still there and it enhances, increases and keeps on growing till we end up destroying ourselves.
Yes the only way to really stop the pain is to face the pain, to really go deep within to stop our own self that created the pain in the first place that is why we experience whatever good or bad experiences. Yes cos no one is “enlightened” yet hence there will always be hypocrites and we cannot change the world but we can definitely change ourselves, our thinking, our method and our results.
Definitely it won’t be easy, and it won’t be overnight, instant success, but it is better to try daily than to fail daily. Thank you Rinpoche and all Gurus who with courage and compassion, dare to take on the roles of a kind teachers, to look like the ‘enemy’ (because of not wanting anything in return from anyone)dares to kindly point out our shortcomings.
Only when we can really start to work internally on ourselves and stop blaming others, is when the beginning of our suffering will end. This we, I must always remember to internalise and to apply. Thank you Rinpoche for giving us the potent remedy of truth when we are sick. The medicine is bitter, not the Doctor, but blame not even the medicine because it heals.
Thank you Rinpoche for this powerful reminders on awareness of samsara suffering. Because of our ignorances, we failed to see our Buddha nature- which is always loving kindness and compassion. We are constantly looking outside for validation, which only provide a temporary reassurance. We are giving our power away to those who judge us for our outside performance, not for our true being, that is the saddest truth. We must contemplate deeply this reality from our precious Guru for our personal growth.
I think this topic can be discussed and argued till kingdom come and while many may sincerely, diligently and even passionately agree or disagree, most will just goes back to exactly as they are. I think the foundation of Buddhiist teaching is impermanence because we are extremely “permanent” in my behaviors and habitations. We are taught about imprints and many lifetimes of habitations and about the unfathomable time period of called eons.
What is one lifetime in the scope of eons? Can one puny little dot we know as this life in an endless time be significant enough to change the karma accumulated for hundreds, thousands lifetime? Probably not but doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try, right? Everything has to start somewhere. Somewhere in the beginning-less time, we somehow created this karma that brought us to where each and everyone of us is at today and now we are struggling to exit this condition we seemingly or supposedly brought ourselves into. I don’t know about you but I for one admit I have no intelligence or wisdom to comprehend my existent or perhaps I should say my actual non-existence. In Buddhism, I’m taught it’s because I have no merit or have been clouded by many lifetime of delusions, whatever the reasons maybe, does it really matter because the bottom line is still that I have no understanding of my existence.
So what’s left when the “brain” has no true comprehension of its own existence? We are left with instinct, feelings, faith? We are taught feelings and emotions are unreliable. Very true, I agree. But we are also told what we think are delusions. So which should one rely on – the heart or the brain? Somewhere there is probably an answer that says neither because both are not “real”.
Yes we are all hypocrites. We have all professed something at some point of our life and doesn’t live up to it. Some just more often than others. So what are we seeking in spirituality? Perfection as shared by Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo? When we stop being a hypocrite, does that make us perfect?
Our very existence itself is a play, we have roles – at the very least we are someone’s son or daughter from the day we are born if we did not take on additional roles of friend/foe, teacher/student, husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, parent, employer/employee, etc, etc….it’s endless the roles we play in this movie called “Life on Earth”. Social ethic requires that we act and behave in a certain way, it’s how we are brought up and conditioned. So from young, we are taught to “act”. We meet different people and environment along the way that further taught us how we should be so we evolve and change but the act continues. Who are we? Who is your true self if you have not been told anything, taught anything or conditioned in any way? When the stage is taken away and one is no longer required to act, would you still recognize the people you thought you knew so well and are closest to? Would we even recognize ourselves?
Dear Rinpoche,
Truly appreciate this article
It pin point to me how my mind work to trick me into unhappy situation, even to the extend hurting myself and others.
I always think that people are judgmental and bias, some people are habitual in this way. But when I truly face myself and be true to my mistake and weakness, and I change towards betterment, I find it is more easier to handle the situation when I can handle my thought, and the mind become lighter.
Below are the verses that I wanted to remember when once again my mind become negative.
1) Flowers don’t compete with each other, they just blossom to add beauty.
2) move on and use our energies to be successful.
3) After all the best ‘revenge’ if we have to have get revenge is to be successful
4) Better look within us and see what we need to change in the face of our hurt, pain and anger. We can be angry, hurt and in pain, but the ultimate source is where? Check within
5) It is about facing ourselves and dealing with ourselves the right way without putting others down.
6) An inspirational person is inspirational because they went through so much to get where they are and did not have it easy. Who inspires others by quitting and doing nothing?
7) Don’t label everything as judgement or negative so you can continue to hide as you are losing time
8) Where this karmic truth comes from should not matter, just listen, adapt and amend to be successful. Successful people don’t waste time on anger, revenge, hiding, complacency or where the truth should come from, but just adapt, change and apply!
9) Every day you waste is a day closer to our deaths and that is final. Every day wasted is another day we could have gone in the direction of achieving something beneficial before that finality.
Thank you Rinpoche for the care and love
With Folded Hand
Freon
我们都常说，伤人的是真相。但是在很认真地阅读仁波切的这篇文章和思考之后，我对“伤人的是真相”这句话开始有另外的想法了。
为何我们都说真相伤人？一来是我们一直执着于自己所相信的，当事情不跟我们所期待的那样来运作时，当有人指出真相，或甚至指出另外的看法或角度，我们就觉得受伤了，我们就觉得别人在说我们的不是了。二来就是我们一直以来的幻想和想象幻灭了，于是我们说真相伤人，甚至也迁怒于告诉我们真相的人，说他们残忍无情。
在第一种情况当中，伤人的不是真相，因为受伤的是我们的自尊心和傲气——你说真相是A，但我知道的是B，我怎么可能会错呢？你是谁啊？你凭什么说我错了？你分明是在针对我！于是我们就陷入这样的愤怒中而忘了看真相是什么。姑且不说别人说的必然就是真相，但起码你也把傲气收起来，哪怕是暂时收起来，静心地听听别人怎么说，这不是更有利于你的进步和成长吗？骄者必败这句话是对的。我们要时时刻刻警惕自己。
第二种情况则是，我们确实认错了，承认自己所看到的并不是事实的全部，但我们却耗掉精力和时间去责怪别人，说他们残忍无情，说他们跟我们揭露真相的方式不对，不照顾我们的心情。但生命的事实是什么？就是你不能总是期待别人跟从你的方式，总是迎合你，呵护你，连告诉你真相都要按照你的期待吧！
仁波切点出来的这几点都非常有力，尤其是有上师指导的我们。我们往往会归咎上师的方法不对，他教导的方式不合我意，所以我不能进步。我们甚至也会觉得上师所说的未必是对的。但在这件事情上已经无关谁对谁错那么单纯了，因为我们的傲气和执着已经把所有人都拒人于千里之外了，我们已经把所有对我们好的东西通通扼杀了。即便是一个小人物来告诉你所谓的真相，你也要听听、看看，都无害是吧？
我非常感激仁波切跟我们点出这样的事实。仁波切说得对，我们每个人都虚伪，只是程度上的不一样罢了。而且更重要的是我们察觉、觉知自己的虚伪，并且时时刻刻看好自己的虚伪，不让它阻碍我们的修行修心。希望大家都能静心下来看看仁波切的教诲，也希望大家都能从中学习良多。 ：）
“Sometimes when we do nothing to improve ourselves or our situation and claim depression (non-clinical) or whatever excuses is a sort of revenge too.”
This line particularly is awakening for me as I have not looked at it in this angle before. This include suicide. You think they just want a way out but in actually, they don’t care about others around them and they think they will have a better life after taking their own lives. This is not true at all. Revenge ends with misery and the mind continues as the state it was before death. Humility is key. When we think we are less than perfect and work towards improving it, the habituation will continue after death. Next life, we can continue to work towards it and keep on progressing as a good human being.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thanks for caring and great teaching that transform our life. We will reach many people out there with these great teachings .
Accepting criticism is the way to look upon ourself. It is about facing ourselves and dealing with ourselves the right way. Since everything is on ourself, we should put an antidote on it, and not defend and continue repeating the same path same practice that we can see there is no results.
We are repeating exactly the same daily life till our life end again and again till we met and we learn why we are here in samsara. Accepting is wise.
We suffer because of ignorant, we ignore that cause we suffer. Avoiding because of fear , defending because of terrified , it doesn’t help us. Just accept and transform.
佛法教授的总是最赤裸裸的事实。上师的责任本来就是让我们看清事实的真相。再怎么不愿意听，不愿意承认，那些最刺耳、最难听的，往往都是真的。的确，我们都是虚伪的，差别只在于有者虚伪如戏子，有者虚伪如商贾，有者虚伪如滑头，姿态不同，内容却大同小异。目的可以是为了个人利益、商业利益、情感利益等。
无论如何，虚伪都是一种掩饰，掩饰必然是为了维护自身利益。有些人甚至自己都骗了，同样也是为了满足自我感觉良好的需要。这些华丽的衣裳一旦被剥下，当事人必然觉得狼狈不堪，有者更是老羞成怒，所以才会产生事后种种报复行为。
个人认为，当一个人在被掀了底牌之后，他若选择了报复，或“以牙还牙”，在某种程度上，可说这个人已经选择了放弃进一步思考和反省，而仅仅只想顾全自己的颜面。走到这一步，被愤怒蒙蔽了双眼的人，跟受伤的野兽是没有分别的。他满脑子想到的只有伤害，理性已经消失。这时候，如果一个人的定力或智慧不足，最好能暂时跟这个人保持一段安全距离。一来能让这个人有机会冷静下来，二来也避免让自己受到不良影响，继而产生邪见。
作为佛教徒，同情和企图协助自己的朋友的做法是可以被理解的，但有时候，单凭一丝善念，而缺乏足够的智慧和善巧，往往只能成事不足，败事有余。如果没有信心成功帮助对方，暂时抽身其实是个更慈悲的行为。然而，反过来，我们也不应该在这时候落井下石，趁机对这个人加以伤害。我想，如果真关心对方，我们可以做的，应该是找机会透过较为婉转的方式来重新启发对方的思考，也随时准备以开放的心怀来接受一个愿意改变的人。
慈悲是必要的，但正确的方法和智慧也同样重要。仁波切不厌其烦地透过各种方式来灌输我们佛法智慧，也从来不曾放弃任何一名弟子，为的就是让我们能够更清楚地了解自己的心识运作，从而找到解脱的方法。要做到这一切，一名上师必须具备慈悲、智慧和善巧，全然秉持包含了宗喀巴大师的传承法教和精神，这就是我们必须视师为佛法的原因。感恩仁波切！
Thank you rinpoche to sharing this article. It is so truth some of the point are directly point to me due to my habituation and laziness to change.instead just blaming people and situation, is better to face my own problem and overcome it. When we able overcome it, will help us move forward and never fell backward.
Dear Rinpoche,
I am really sorry for Rinpoche for having to bear with all those criticisms and bad name for being truthful and compassionate. I do hope , in the near future, they all will realised the truth why Rinpoche have to do so for them. I was once being told, when you are pointing one finger to another person and at the same time we are pointing three fingers back to ourselves. It took me a long time to correct this negative quality of mine but it is not perfect yet till now. Maybe, I can blamed this to the samsaric world that I am living in and that is why. ( Giving myself another excuse for my failure again !!! Ha..ha…ha ).
Anyhow, I will carry this teaching of Rinpoche to wherever I go and whatever I do, instead of drawing my weapon and activate my defensive mode once I am being criticise by others, especially from our Rinpoche because our Rinpoche is not ordinary and he will never be. Think twice , if you still don’t get it……think 3 times. 🙂
Thank you Rinpoche for this teaching, will wish you good health and long life, as always.
If we think that others are judging us wrongly but we could not prove that they are wrong, then they are probably right. What is making us frustrated and angry is that we cannot prove them wrong but we still insist that they are wrong. Why we cannot prove that they are wrong is because they are right! We spent time finding excuses to justify our problems but excuses for failure and blaming others are nothing new in this world anymore. We are hearing so many excuses, Seeing so many blaming statements on the social media everyday, and people nowadays are so used to it that the minute you said it they will know immediately that you are giving excuse or blaming others. The game has change now. People respect people who admitted their mistake and willing to change. Purple trust those who don’t hide their problems. Hypocrites are no longer popular. Let’s start a new game of improving ourselves and not blaming others.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this teaching with us.We are all hypocrites in different ways. because we usually do not practice what we preach.When others who cares point out our faults,We just need to be honest and accept the truth and change.We really have to check within.Better to look within us and see what we need to change.
Yes we are all hypocrites like Rinpoche said.
When we learn dharma, we are in awed with the ‘truth’ (as perceived by our tainted minds) and we love to apply it… on others. We became moral judge for others but not ourselves.
And so when others tell us about our shortcomings which mostly the truth, we can’t accept it and got angry. And then we will find excuses to discredit their comments/ opinions.
Yet, as Rinpoche pointed out, “Sometimes our ‘enemies’ tell us the truth about ourselves that a ‘friend’ dare not say for fear of offending us. The most imperfect person can still alert you to something that is true and can help you.”
Then again, we are not willing to accept whatever truth being told to us. Even when our kind Guru/ Spiritual Guide tells us, we chose to ignore. We hide rather than face the truth or accept because when we accept, it means we have to change, to get out of our comfort zone.
Sometimes we ourselves already know yet we still chose to dismiss it. Sadly we could not see the urgency to change… we still could not see that death is charging at us in constantly increased speed.
Every line of this post is a valuable teaching of truth. Need to contemplate this golden advice everyday as my reminder:
“Every day you waste is a day closer to our deaths and that is final.“
Thank you Rinpoche _/\_
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you so much for such an interesting teaching! I will be grateful if Rinpoche tell me the truth about myself rather than me going around doing something wrong and hurting other people and most of all, myself. If I do not understand and change myself, how can I help other people around me to be happy. I know for sure that wasting energy trying to get revenge is just a waste of time as I have been there and I have done that but in the end, I am the one who is hurting instead. Therefore, after meeting Rinpoche and learning Dharma, I have learned to channel those negative energy to doing something much more meaningful instead, to be successful with whatever I am doing.
And as I always say to my love ones, if I dont care, I wont even be bothered saying anything and its the same with Rinpoche, its because of Rinpoche’s love and compassion, that Rinpoche use so much effort to help us in so many ways, be it advise, gifts and most of all, teaching us Dharma so that we can use it long term and carry it with us always. That is the most precious of all…
We miss you Rinpoche. Love always, Pamela.
An honest, to the point, and truthful post that prompts us to look within ourselves. When we fail, what benefit do we get
by blaming others? It won’t help the situation, we still have to go through the result of the failure and the situation. So
we can keep blaming and continue to stay in the same stagnant situation and drown ourselves in the misery of other’s fault
or we can pick ourselves up and succeed, which is always the best comeback.
Everything said in the post is so true and echoes an underlying problem in society today. Coming from Gen-Y, the
priviledges of the younger generation has been good but in a way, has also maybe spoilt the generation a tad too much. For
most, everything has been nicely presented on a silver platter to us. When there are setbacks, most have their parents to
solve it for them, so having to come out of one’s comfort zone, and rising above it is not uncommon, but rare. It is
easiest to blame others for our failures, because yes, firstly it is so that we can avoid responsibility and having to
change and improve ourselves, but blaming others also means that you hope that someone will come along to solve it for you
too.. having an easier way out. Also, there’s the blame game, where you can protect your face, continue to look good, be
right, and continue to be lazy and self-indulgent.
The only way to succeed in this world is always to bring value to this world and being a step ahead of others. Success is
not determined by how you blame others, and dwelling in your stories, (coz it passes) but by coming back and rising above the expectations of others, and yourself. From learning from the downfalls, and changing your ways to make the situation better. Blaming arises from jealousy, hatred, anger, false expectations, and greed, because you only look inwards, but the minute you accept things as they are and look outwards, that’s when the success comes.
Thank you for this post, Rinpoche. Blaming others is very prevalent in society today because it is easy. But we do not progress no matter how much we blame others.
Watch this video too, guys:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNgBWAFV9gU
Thank you
Carmen
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this teaching with us. Pastor Adeline was kind enough to share this teaching with the Sunday Dharma School Teachers, after which there was a in depth discussion not only on how we each connected with this post, but also how we can implement this in our lives.
We simply need to let go of the hypocrisy in our lives and accept the truth about who we are and how we interact with others, and even ourselves on a deeper and more fundamental level. We need to realise that what we have been conditioned to think and feel about ourselves and our interactions with others is not beneficial at all.
To me this post is about being truthful, to ourselves and others around us, and through this we can achieve great things, as we each have the latent ability to do so, but just covered up with habitual hypocrisy.
We are definitely very critical of others including ourselves (without knowing) because we want to be right and the “me” and “I”is so strong in us. Our own self interest were of utmost important to us. We strive to protect our “me” so we can look good and not be the ones to bear the brunt, get scolded, be wronged about our bad actions, be responsible, bad behavior, bad speech. We are certainly “hypocrites”. We don’t even own up sadly.
This quote from Tsem Rinpoche stands out for me.
“It is about facing ourselves and dealing with ourselves the right way without putting others down.”
We do not put in time or effort at all into “facing ourselves, our faults, bad behavior, bad speech, bad actions.” We avoid others or anything just because we don’t wish to Face It.
Its translated into “not acknowledging” our own weaknesses and it was easier to blame someone or the other person.
In other words, we should stop the “crap” and if we face ourselves Inwardly, via meditation or through self-reflection to ask ourselves (talk inwardly to ourselves) or contemplate deeper, I am quite sure we can see ourselves and decide to do something positive about it ie. improving the lesser “bad” to be better.
This means we are not hopeless and it is doable. We need the dharma and the Buddhas to help us on this.
We are al hypocrites. One way or another and it’s a fact that Rinpoche so kindly explain and teaches us to make us realise ourselves.
So many of us don’t want to admit it but blame others. We must transform and be like the flowers. They don’t compete with each others but just blossom to add beauty.
Thank you Rinpoche for taking time to write so many posts to benefit so many people.
How do we feel when we are called a hyprocrite. Probably the not most comfortable label we wish on ourselves or anyone for that matter. The thing is our human nature we always want praise and to be seen to be doing beneficial things for others, but most of the time we end up doing the complete opposite either openly or in secret. Being spiritual is not about saying one thing and then doing another thing. If we are hypocritical it does not help others as we make them feel we are not dependable and they feel insecure about us and they cannot rely on us in the event of a problem.
Because our views is contaminated, friends can look like enemies and enemies look like friends. No matter how high a teacher or teaching we meet once we have obscurations and negative karma is arising we can see Mara as a Buddha. Because the teacher’s view cut at our ego like a hot burning knife, rather than seeing what should we do next, we put up defenses to defend out ego. The ego arises from the 3 poisons, the Lama arises from wisdom and compassion. Which should we follow?
We engage in the dharma, the person who benefits the most is US, US and US. If we leave the dharma because our expectations are not fulfilled, people did not rub us the right way, people disappoint us, we lose because the dharma is our medicine. without dharma, teachings, dharma people, etc we are on the losing side. The Buddhas, the high practitioners and lamas have ascended the purelands and achieve the pinnacle of human development, because they stayed on and never gave up.
If we stay then we have to make changes to ourselves, to have the armour of patience and perseverance. One of first phrases I have ever heard about Buddhism is to have the Sword of Wisdom and the Armour of patience when we do the dharma that was more than 20 years plus. That phrase still is valid up till today. The point not to make everyone perfect, but to purify and perfect our view about phenomena and sentient beings. If our views are pure then everywhere and everyone is pure, and we have created a pure land wherever we are.
It is true that we are all hypocrites to a certain extent but we must be conscious of it and not let it be a hindrance. Rinpoche has always said that the only key to success is to work harmoniously with each other. Then we can overcome a lot of obstacles. Be open and direct with each other but do not hurt others’ feelings unnecessarily. People who practise the Dharma are better at handling problems. They are more patient and tolerant of others’ shortcomings and are more forgiving. So it is important to learn, understand and practice the Dharma. Thank you, Rinpoche.
I do believe that all of us are hypocrite to a certain extend. If not, then a lot of us will be enlightened by now. To what extend is something we need to control & monitor. Many will be self destructive and some will just choose to succeed instead.
I choose to succeed even though sometimes it is really tough but it is more worth it in a long run for our own happiness. There is more to loose if we self destruct. Too much pain will be inflicted to others and most of all on ourself. Not worth it.
Thank u Rinpoche for this article.
Why waste so much energy in order to get back on someone instead of look within ourselves and truly understand what went wrong. Normally, this is the first think will come into my mind when things do went wrong at times. It is easier and better to look within us and improve the situation and not to repeat it again. (Unless it is not our fault and we must clear the air with the motivation not to put others down but just to bring out the truth)
Thank you Rinpoche for kept reminding us through your teachings..
With folded hands,
Adrian Chow
我一直以来都怕得罪人，然后人家说什么都说好好好，即使心里不舒服都勉强的应付。所以坦然接受自己自私的基因，接纳自己的不完美，不再活得那么累。
谢谢仁波切的教诲
生活中在面对选择时我们常常会犹豫不决，左右为难；我们常常难以自我控制，一边自责一边不知悔改，重复犯错；我们虚伪，欺骗别人，还欺骗自己；我们心口不一、言行不一、做事前后矛盾、患得患失；我们都是伪君子。
Thank you Rinpoche, for the teaching of how much we are hypocrites. Our minds are the most complex and it’s also the most difficult to control without having wisdom. Our enemies are within but we are always looks out, as it’s easier to blame others, instead of blaming ourselves which made us go down without knowing.
This statement hit my mind to contemplate of what was happened and what is going on now and there is no time to waste. “Every day you waste is a day closer to our deaths and that is final. Every day wasted is another day we could have gone in the direction of achieving something beneficial before that finality”
Thank you Rinpoche-la, as usual Rinpoche’s teachings is always an eye opener.
However, I think fault finders and complainers, even if we left them in a deserted island, they’ll still one way or another find fault with the trees and/or animals haha!
It is true that many times in life, we get much disappointment. But it’s not about the disappointment that we should worry about, but our attitude towards it. Not too long ago, I heard of a story on how sometimes in life, it feels like an elephant just dumped it’s waste on us! So what do we do? If we stay with the dump (which many of us do) we will definitely going to stink! There’s really no point complaining ‘Why did the elephant dumped on me?’
Instead, when we apply a positive outlook, we would turn that dump into fertilizer, sure it’s hard work to dig it all up and tend to a flower garden, but the results from the hard work is beautiful. It is for this reason that I think having a teacher is so important, coz our Guru points out our mistakes and negative mind when we can’t see it due to our negative habituation.
Whenever I look back at my past experiences, I can’t help but think the most selfless people are the ones that are most misunderstood. Because the things they do, do not reflect the norm. They rather put themselves in a difficult situation with others because it’s the right thing to do rather than let things be even if that’s the more comfortable solution. People that are easily lead astray when people talk bad about another person for advising them on the right way to go… I truly feel sorry for them, because they probably do not have even one sincere friend in their circle. Life would truly be meaningless if the people around us are only ‘actors’.
And yes it is true that there are times when people do really wish to hurt us and even some points when they succeeded. But we’re not perfect either. How can we be critical of others but turn a blind eye on ourselves? So nowadays, I always think, yeah… that person is out to harm me, I’ll help him/her to correct their wrong ways, and at the same time, forgive them… we’re not perfect, they’re not perfect either, what’s important is that we both strive for perfection, isn’t it better to always look for what’s similar rather than what’s not.
Life is just too short to waste it on anger and bitterness… spending each day to bring harmony, acceptance and peace; that’s the most meaningful and the best way to show our gratitude for all the Dharma teachings we have received from our teacher.
I totally agreed with what shared by Rinpoche. If i keep blaming others then i will not improve anymore perhaps i am planting a seed of anger ,ignorance etc it just make the situation more worst.Sometimes when i read something it feel like pointing at me but now i understand actually it just like a mirror reflect on myself and i just have to correct my bad behavior. I am not an enlightenment person but i am practicing the path of entanglement.
I should tell myself : is not focus how good i am but is what i can do more to make it even better.
Rinpoche love us so much we are your son and daughter. Your love and kindness is uncountable. Just read a post and comment on it already spend some times. I can imagine the person need to do research , think how to benefit other ,typing etc… i can guess is must more than 20 times effort if just compare with what i am typing now.
Thank You Rinpoche for take care of us by feeding us Wisdom -Dharma.So we can become a better person in a family ,company,community and even in my country. I think this will make the world more harmony.
Thanks Rinpoche !
When we failed, we are the one responsible for our failure. We should not blame others or take revenge. To blame or to take revenge is a very big project that make us headache. We need to spend a lot of time to work out the action plan for it. To waste time on this, we might as well learn from our failure to be success in the future. We also should not run away cos we failed. We must faced the challenge, make changes on the way to do things and achieve what we plan to do. We are not enlightened nor perfect, there are always room for improvement. We should be thankful that our Guru point out to us our problem for us to change. The truth might be bitter when we have our first taste of it, but if we can accept the truth and make improvement/change, we will taste the sweetness of the change.
Thank you Rinpoche for being so patience with us and keep reminding us on our imperfection and to keep changing for better.
仁波切这个开示再次提醒我们，改变是从内在开始的。改变的动力来自内在，有了内在的变化，才可能看见外在世界的改变。
当我们发现身边的人，不管是伴侣、孩子、同事、朋友还是家人，为什么“都没有改变”，“为什么还是那个样子”，“为什么他们的言行还是让你不爽、激怒你”的情况一再发生时，可能就是时候，我们往内看，是不是我需要“改变应对他们或看待他们”的方法，如此一来，我才不必一而再再而三的被“激怒”或“惹恼”。
如果我们足够慈悲，足够爱自己和爱他们的话，你会发现自己会改变方法或手段，来应对甚至解决问题。因为，我们等待别人／对方来解决——源自于我们可能认定对方才是问题的根源，或者认定自己时受害者，所以，问题的解决应该自来别人而不是自己。因为这样，我们在解决问题这件事上就很被动，很消极。我们对自己不慈悲，对别人也不慈悲。
越是如此，我们心里越是缺乏爱和关怀的感觉，我们对别人的痛失去了感受，对自己可以过得更好也失去了感受。我们只是消极地等待“被救赎”。很多时候，这一天很难等待，否则就是很迟才来到。等待别人打救，真的不容易，怎样都不必自己打救自己来得快速又有效。某个程度来说，能让自己下地狱的只有自己，能让自己从地狱里爬上来的也是自己。
我们很多时候都做过这样的傻事——让自己过得不好不如意，来惩罚自己在乎的人。可恨的事实是，我们在乎的人（可能是我们的父母、伴侣、朋友还是孩子）完全不晓得，或者不在意你如意不如意，更感受不到你的厌恨与苦恼。
全世界最好的报复就是让自己过得比以前如意又自在，让自己开出前所未有的鲜花，结出前所未有的美味果子。
我们把自己失败、苦恼、束手无策、生活不如人意的责任推给别人时——不管是任何人，甚至是整个社会时，我们内心深处完全是意识到自己在推卸责任，自己的不负责任，自己的卑鄙。然而，因为一直不愿意面对自己的愚蠢、懒惰、愤怒等各种各样负面的特质，我们继续允许自己“逞凶”，然后也继续不快乐和愤世嫉俗下去。
事实上，诚如仁波切曾说过的，只要一个转念，真的只需要一个转念，我们可以从愤怒不如意，瞬间变成称心又如意。重要的是，找出让你转念的动力。为什么我要改变？为什么我要去面对自己的不好？
面对的确不容易，但是不面对的前路更不堪。更何况，我们、我们爱的人、爱我们的人值得拥有更美好的明天。
与大家共勉之。
Thank you so much Rinpoche for the teaching.
I appreciate very much that Rinpoche will always let us know what is our problem so that we can work on it. Compared to learning Dharma without a teacher, learning and practicing Dharma under Rinpoche has actually helped me a lot in my spiritual practice and journey.
I am also very grateful that senior students such as Beng Kooi also have the same qualities like Rinpoche. No BS and not beat around the bush. You all will just tell us directly with the intention that we can be a better person.
Thank you Rinpoche for so much care and love to us that will tell us what we need to improve on.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this teaching.
This is so true and meaningful, that every words also have the point. It is just depend on ourselves how we look for every problem situation and see whether we want to change to improve ourselves or not. In this world everything nothing is impossible.
【诸行无常，有漏皆苦，诸法无我】
伪君子—是指【我】，我们的心中有个【我】所以产生了痛苦和自私自利。
【我】掌控身心而带来的痛苦，所以为了保护自己应该将【我】归依。把自己的心和态度修复好，就能看的明确，更愿意去服从他人。
Blaming is an easy cop out from making the effort to actually solve a problem. It is also the best way to not face the reality and continue to live in delusion. It doesn’t help — it doesn’t change the situation or solve the problem, except for the temporary emotional satisfaction from talking about how awful other people are or the situation is. People who blame others are dwelling in the past and refuse to move on. The past has already happened and we cannot undo it, so why not face the current reality and moved on?
If everything is someone else’s/ something else’s fault, then what part do we play in our own lives? Are we the puppet or the puppeteer?
The purpose of studying the Dharma or taking a Guru is to help us work on our ego-centered preoccupations. The Dharma teachings or the teacher challenge our selfish habits and destructive emotions. If
we decided to study the Dharma or have taken a Guru, definitely at one point or another, our comfort zone/ negative habits will be challenged so that we progress on this spiritual path to ultimately become an awaken, enlightened Buddha. We cannot choose to remain in our current selfish self and also be a Buddha at the same time.
We send our kids to attend school, it is so that the teachers equip our kids with new knowledge/skills, challenge our kids to improve and make our kids better than when they firsto enrolled. Hence, a real spiritual teacher has no choice but to challenge us because we ourselves couldn’t or didn’t want to. If we could, we would have. There are not many Pratyekabuddha around.
I like the image at the end of the post, “Don’t get upset with the mirror… Fix the reflection.” Ultimately, our successes or failures or realities are entirely our own.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing the article on “we are all hipocrites?”
Rinpoche understand and analyze so well on the human character and behavior in facing their own failure and their response to the success of others.
When we made a mistake or failed in what we did, the first thing coming to our mind was to find an excuse and to push the cause of failure to someone else instead of trying to improve ourselves so that we would not fail again . On the other hand, we also always felt jealous over the success of others instead of rejoice for them.
Thank you Rinpoche’s advice on how we should react to these situations and transform. We have to change to use our failure to learn and others’ success as motivation and inspiration.
对的， 我们全都是伪君子。无论在任何情况下，保住面子最为重要，即使我们犯错了，也得千方百计地将自己错误与缺点掩饰一番，用尽各种才能将自己最美丽的一面呈现出来，好让人留下好印象。其实，做人做得这么虚伪，常常将自己最真实的一面，即便是好胜，懒惰，贪婪，好玩，甚至内心是邪恶的，藏起来不让人发现，反而用另一些不属于我们特质的优点来掩盖这些不完美。 这，费时又费力。但，我们都爱沉溺在这种掩饰自己丑陋一面的游戏中。 我们爱在人前说好听的话以赢取别人的信任与赞美，也爱将自己打扮得花枝招展吸引别人羡慕的眼光，这些都是自我在作祟。久而久之我们失去真正的自己。自欺欺人。
人们对某些字眼特别敏感， 比如赞美与批评，善良与邪恶等，我们都爱前者，因为我们不能承受负面的东西。 这说明我们内心的软弱无力，眼光狭义，这是阻碍成功的特质。我们的上师就是那个无畏被人讨厌却坚持着必须以最真实无误的教导方式，循循善诱地将我们必须戒掉的缺点耐心地重复给我们听。 能够遇见这样的一位上师，绝非巧合，必须遵循上师每一个指示。
感谢仁波切始终都豪不厌倦的教育我们，一路执行上师的职责，背着被他人埋怨，讨厌，生气等等来教化我们不需要伪装自己。我们在学佛法的过程里必定要把佛法学习以及实践在生活里。我们要浩浩荡荡的坦然面对我们的缺点，从而进行改善，也尽量从不再犯。上师就是我们迈向证悟的康庄大道，一定要勇于接受上师的真心话语，学习，沉思上师给予的忠告。
其实我们每一天面对的人，他们就是我们的一面镜子。我从上师的教诲里学习到的是，不管任何时候我一定要先观照自己而不是他人，一切唯心造。先认真的面对自己的缺点那么我们才能够好好的处理问题和控制情绪，进而达到有自信，能调整起好的动机去服务以及协助他人度过困难。
一味追求他人的赞美与肯定的话，那只会让我朔造更多的伪装面具。这一些伪装的面具只会让自己陷入苦海，永远都不能学习和领悟到佛陀的真理。
他人的成就我们不需要妒忌，怀恨或口舌他人的辉煌成绩。如果我们能够协助他人达到成果的话，我们应该要感到自豪，成就他人也就相等与成就自己嘛！那也是值得开心的事。不要让自己再一次的寻找借口来伪装自己，让自己不能成长！
敬爱的仁波切，
感谢您的教诲，赤裸裸的把真相说出来。纵然难被接受，因为它像手上锋利的长针，一针一针往心里刺，每一针都是要害! 虽然心中百般疼痛，但是，那是要医好我们用的快速方法，因为我们的心都生病了。
改变，对大多数人来说是困难的(包括我)!所以大多数人选择了逃避现实。把负面的能量转移到妒忌心，报复心去怪罪他人，为自己的逃避行为找借口。了解了您道出来的真相，原来我们花太多时间在做没意义的事，伤了自己也害了关心我们的人!真的万分感激上师用心，让大家思考，然后转变。谢谢您。
Chon Kong.
Yes, I am one of the person who must admitted myself is a hypocrisy person.As Buddhist practitioner I didn’t follow 100% what Buddha said but I told people around me, I am a Buddhist. but didn’t follow exactly what our Guru and Lord Buddha teach us.
Rinpoche’s blog post”We are all hypocrites?” make me contemplate again and again, I will go to fix my weakness! What is my weakness, ten fingers also cannot finish it. YES, I need to fix all my hypocrisies. Acknowledge all hypocrisies, accept it and then fix!!!
人往往都会自视过高，乃至高佔了自己的重要性。这其实也是人的苦恼來源之一。当我们覚得自己重要时，就希望得到他人的重视，一旦发覚有人不那样对待时，就会生气或憤怒。
怀才不遇者，也未尝不是如此。过度评估自己的才华，受到冷落时，往往就会郁郁寡欢或愤世嫉俗，若有几分权力者，说不定还要搞抗议示威呢！
其实人类的许多问题源自内心及人类本身。然而解决问题的方法还是从外去寻求，而为何不回头來看看自己的本身去观自己的内心？然后去找出问题根源呢？
但是往往有些修行人还怪罪于自己同修或者上師和不可理喻的逃避責任。
所以到最后我们若不从内心的斗争种子去断根，再多的敎悔也不能把内心的问题除掉，感恩的心还是无法存在了。
幸运的我们今世遇上佛法和上師，唯有利用今世机缘好好的修学，因为也不曉得何时因缘以尽，到时候就难以闻法了。
I used to believe in “Love is All Around” and I still do but I have also added “Hypocrisy is also all around”. I do not say this with bitterness but simply in realisation like how I realise we are all suffering. I have met and become dear friends with people who have made failure their motivation to succeed even more. They live by “If it does not kill you, then learn from it.”
Similarly, “the wise is one who learns from a fool.” And trust me I have run into quite a handful of fools who have made my life hell but since I did not die from their follies, I learnt to be sharper and not so gullible. Do I still trust, YES I do but I am surely more cautious. A fool is one who does not recognise kindness and care given to them. Some even do not see support and help but instead think that it is their “right” to receive help and support thus have no remorse when they use and abuse people.
Personally, we are our own biggest demon because we seek no true wisdom which will bring us to the next level of humanity. We are easily influenced and give in because we are too lazy to be responsible for our own decisions. On this same side of the coin, we are also our own biggest Buddha. Such a paradox isn’t it…thus our continuous suffering. Therefore, we need to choose and make a powerful choice. Do I choose the demon or the Buddha in me? And we make this choice all the time over and over again because life is consistently inconsistent. The stability in all this inconsistencies lies in our mind. When you choose the demon in you to prevail, it is inevitable you create hell in your life. Common sense no? So why not choose the Buddha in you? It is only the wiser and happier choice.
Rinpoche, I completely understand what injustice and ingratitude have been thrown in Rinpoche’s direction. And I am sorry that Rinpoche still endures this but yet continues to impart and teach the Dharma. Guess what Rinpoche? Rinpoche is an amazing teacher who is able to connect with us who are in the state of varied degeneration mentally, emotionally and physically. I humbly fold my hands in gratitude for having met Rinpoche and serving in Kechara. May Rinpoche live long and healthy. Your student, Li Kim
谢谢仁波切的分享
对， 每个人都有不好的一面， 包括我在内。
有时明明就知道自己的缺点在哪里， 不过就偏偏没有真正对治下药， 去改善它。
惰性好恐怖啊！！！ 看样子就只有去改变它了， 别无办法。
就像之前Pastor JJ 和我说过的： 要得到成就吗？ 要就需要去做。
认命吧。。。
唯有改变自己的缺点才可以在灵修上更上一层楼
感恩仁波切的教诲与开示
我们在这娑婆世界里，不断地轮回着，滚滚红尘不断，然而我们总是没有依循着光明而舍弃那不好的心识（我们都不愿意正真地努力转化我们的心识）
多少遍的轮回，多少次重复的心识与习性，造就了我们都忘记了我们最初那一刻纯洁无瑕与正真让我们离苦得乐的心
我们因为习惯了莫一种不好的习性，然后我们就不断地让自己在这心识中打滚，宛如飞蛾扑火般，明知道不能，但还是依然择意如此，结果到最后我们情愿挂上面具，并伪装起自己，用不好的业来累积更多的恶业，直到善业耗尽，正真别无选择时，才如梦初醒
然而早已经千帆过尽
感恩我们的佛法上师，不断地给予我们最贴心的开示与教诲，真正的贴心是能够刻入我们的内心，即使知道我们抗拒与悲痛，然而依然不辞劳苦地教诲我们正真明白佛法里的因果，让我们了解什么才是佛法八万四千法门，让我们知道佛法是一门教育，而不是生活的莫莫点缀
既然我们在这娑婆世界里，已经重复了多少遍的习性，让我们载浮载沉地飘了多少轮回，我们往往会不知所措，会伤痛，妒忌，贪心，报复，我们难道就不厌倦了吗？
厌倦，然后………..我们会选择逃避或用更极端的方法来贪婪得到更多，还是依循着一位正真的佛法老师来好好修心呢？
生病了我们懂得寻找医生，然而医生给与我们再痛苦的治疗过程，手术等，我们都甘之如饴，然而我们的心识病了，我们接受佛法的治疗，但不愿意承担治疗过程中的痛苦，似乎有说不过去的理不是吗？
感恩尊贵的上师詹杜固仁波切您的教诲，祈愿您长驻在世，常转法轮
We should appreciate when people make the effort to tell us the truth, to point out our flaws, because it takes lots of courage for the person to tell us the truth because they risk being misinterpreted and eventually being seen as our enemy.
A lot of people choose to hide behind the truth, pretend that everything is fine, but in actual fact it is not. For example, we do not like our boss, our colleague or our job, but we remain for the sake of the income we need due to the lifestyle we choose. When the boss or colleague did something that we dislike, we complaint to our real friend, if we are lucky to have one, who tell us the truth about our situation – we choose to continue to be in the job.
If we sincerely wanted to change, we will accept the truth, whether we like it or not, and do something about it, because we understand by removing our blind spot, our situation will be improved immediately!
If we do not wish to change, why complaint at the first place? Just continue to “indulge” in the situation and be “comfortable”. Simple! It is our choice at the end of the day anyway.
If we blame our friend for telling us the truth, immediately we give rise to anger and all other negative emotions that will take our rational mind away and start to magnify the negative aspects of the things that our friend had told us. Because of that, we will perceive our friend as the enemy and whatever truth he/she told us will be twisted and perceive as lie, accusation etc.
Anger is the worst of the worst among negative emotions because it is like fire that burns everything to death. Nothing is positive in the eyes of anger, all truth will be seen as false and will be denied regardless. If we are smart, we’ll look for the source that gives rise to anger and work on it from there. As long as the source remain, we’ll always be affected and happiness will not be with us no matter what we do.
“After all the best ‘revenge’ if we have to have get revenge is to be successful. We prove to them our methods worked. That would mean we put our energies into our success.” This phrase is very true. Many time we are too absorb in emotional revenge when we are being attacked.
Jealousy, anger and hatred always arises when we see others who are successful, or even when being challenged or being attacked for no reason even what we do is correct. True enough, Dharma is every essential part for all of us, to learn to accept that everything arises from cause and effect.
We are all Hypocrites, always having 2 faces when facing friends and enemy, how sick and tired is that. even to the extend that pretending to be very Holy Smolly, yet actually not practicing what is being thought by the Guru.
Thank you Rinpoche for teaching us how we can improve ourself to b e a happier and better person. We have so many afflictions and we are not honest with ourself to check what really cause us to fail or to be unhappy. We start blaming others for our failure or unhappiness. As a result we avoid responsibility and hide and giving excuses.
The key word is to change the attitude rather then to look outside and look for excuses that cause us to fail or to be unhappy. If we don’t do that but blaming others for our failure, we are like hypocrites. I like this poster teaching.
If you think someone’s post is about you, truth is it probably isn’t, but you probably see yourself in it. Suggestion… Don’t get upset with the mirror….. Fix the reflection. I see this short phase explain Rinpoche’s teaching.
Who else check on us and teach us methods to improve ourself if not ‘The Guru’. With folded palms I say Thank you Rinpoche for teaching us how to improve the quality of our life.
Our big ego makes us a big hypocrite. To work with our hypocrisy is to work with our ego. If we want to be a better person or realise our potentials, we constantly have to peel our ego down like peeling an onion to reach to the core to be honest with our neurosis. When we can face our own neurosis we can learn to let go. The kindness of our Lama is this outer guru who brings out the inner guru in us on the spiritual path to enlightenment. We can never able to repay the kindness to our Lama on the spiritual journey.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you very much for this teaching. It is a labour of unconditional love and concern that Rinpoche has kindly bestowed on all of us.
To begin with, it is extremely easy to be angry, to blame and feel sorry for ourselves whenever things go wrong, when we don’t get what we want or when people don’t behave as we have expected. Friends can become enemies easily and someone we once liked turns ugly. And we say “you changed.” The question is not whether the person changed or not but what has happened is we have been exposed. Our vulnerability, attachment, jealousy, our need to control have been put to a test and yes, we failed. We got upset with others because they no longer fulfill the box we have created for them. Then, should this occur, we will have to examine our intention. When we started this friendship or relationship with this person or this teacher, was it to promote our hidden agenda? Chances are we all are, as Rinpoche pointed out, hypocrites or else we would have been enlightened.
Therefore, it is crucial that we practice and not give up on our Dharma training and opt for dramas instead. Failure or success is a choice. However, I would like to add that it is not just a choice. It is a commitment, a responsibility, a sacrifice, a willingness to surrender, to work hard, to be selfless, to take the poop when it hits the fan, to forgo our comforts, to be sidelined, to lead and most importantly to transform, to change and let go of our bad habits.
Many times we are told to let go of this person or that person because they are gone. However, if we contemplate deeper, what we are letting go of is ourselves and not them. There is nothing to let go when it comes to others because they have left and we don’t own them to begin with, even our children what more a partner or a friend. What we are releasing and detaching are our memories of these people that we keep replaying in our head that continuously churns out false sentimentality that leads to the thriving of our anger, hatred and ignorance. When things go wrong, when we feel negative, when we are let down, it is a good chance to sit down quietly to contemplate. What have I done? How do I make it better? As Rinpoche has taught us, offer an incense to Tsongkhapa. Chant our mantras. Generate both the intellect and merits to cut through the delusions and obscuration that arise.
Thank you, Rinpoche.
With folded hands,
Wendy
很多人就是不敢面对自己真实的一面，承认自己的过失，所以在某种程度上我们是虚伪者在学佛法 。
有经常检讨自己的虚伪的心有改善了吗？有降低了多少？在学习佛法时常会遇到一些障碍，应该学习如何，包容，了解，不管有多困难的事大家都要互相扶持和鼓励。
不要为了一句话，一些小动作就想离开或是逃避学习佛法。大家都是一起来学习佛法。希望通过修行和学习佛法来帮助增长我们的智慧，让我们拥有正念的想法去解决问题和烦恼，也可以帮助他人，利益更多众生。
I so agree with this post. There is NO reason to harm others, even if they have harmed us or perceived to have harmed us. How about having compassion for them – because of their hurt, because of their anger, because of their ignorance, they will continue to perpetuate and exacerbate their own suffering. I believe in karma, and karma says what we reap, we will sow. So if people are being nasty or negative – feel compassion for them because they are and will suffer greatly.
Don’t be paranoid – if people are saying something you think is insinuative, perhaps it is directed at you, perhaps it’s not. Just because you’re paranoid, it doesn’t mean that someone is not after you. If the cap fits, it fits.
We should all focus on building on positivity – on goodness, on kindness, on love, on integrity, on respect and not on negativity – on hatred, on schism, on anger. Anything built on negativity cannot grow and will eventually fall apart.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.”
― 14th Dalai Lama
Let’s not hurt each other. Please.
I wish everyone love, peace of mind and harmony within and without. Please let’s stop the hypocrisy – starting with ourselves.
Sharon, it is true that what comes around goes around. People can do harm. While it looks like they harm others and achieve victory on the surface, they have no idea the severe results of their harm is waiting for them at the corner. It is never a wise way to hurt others in order to protect ourselves. Otherwise, His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama will not insist on non-violence approach with the Tibet cause. Seeing the positive aspects in every situation is the right way to go. It is us who are unable to do so continue to hurt others and ourselves. Peace of mind can not be achieved when we hurt for we fear that we’ll be hurt in return. The nature law of cause and effect is what we should really apply at the end of the day, and yes it all starting with ourselves!
Rinpoche teaching helps me understand more of the dharma teachings and aware of my bad habituation. This motivated me to sincerely and selflessly work for the benefit of others and not to waste any more time for to transform ourself. Thank you Rinpoche for the wonderful teaching.
We maybe hypocrities to try to aviod unnecessary things happen sometime but most importantly don’t harm people whether they are treating us good or bad. Because no one is deserve to be treating bad if we always put oneself in another person’s shoes. No use think to get revenge because it will come back to you later.
Just focus what we can do now to improve and overcome the problem and then get the result done.
Thank you Rinpoche sharing us such a details teachings and so truth!
It i always easier to blame others for our shortcomings or give multiple reasons for us for not succeeding. That’s the easy way out because we do not take responsibility for our actions (not not achieving) and also our lives. Facing up to ourselves is definitely difficult because it challenges us to be out of our comfort zone, to be in a space of unknown and to be vulnerable. That is not easy cos we have our ego, our pride and our excuses to keep us comfortable.
Therefore, Rinpoche’s teachings goes right into our core where it hurts the most. It is like a mirror being shown right in front of our faces. Change our actions, change our way of thinking and change ourselves to achieve what’s more important for us than those silly excuses we keep so dearly. I am very guilty of this!!!
Thank you Rinpoche for being the “Bad” guy for pointing to us our areas we ignored to look into as others will not do so for us.
Thank you for the teaching. Again, it wake me up again to examine myself.
At the end of the day is I take charge of my life or I do not take charge of my life. If you ask this question to me, my answer is I have both. When I am complaining, blaming, can not accept others pointed out my weaknesses and mistake, angry with others, this is the time I do not take charge of my life. To me take charge of my life is I focus on doing things benefit myself and others and happily doing it. Not giving up even the obstacle is big, not giving up even others said bad thing about it as long as the outcome is benefit myself and others together.
We are lucky to have a Guru give us teaching everyday by blog, Facebook, twitter and so on. But can you imagine with all this teaching we are still very slow to improve ourselves, I mean not everybody but most of us. The only things I can think of (refer to slow changes)is I am not fully aware the cause and effect is with me every second, every minutes and every…. ,of course, the most obvious one is Lazy.
大家都是一群虚伪者在佛法中心学佛法 但是否有人曾经反省和检讨过自己的虚伪心有改善了吗？或有降低了多少％数吗？在学习佛法中我们时常会遇到一些障碍，或许某某人无心的一句话或一些小动作就引起了你离开或逃避学习佛法。其实大家都是一面镜子，你怎样对人，人家就怎样对你。那个就是放映你自己，而不要把自己当着是受害者或觉得自己很委屈。大家都是一起来学习佛法，所以应该互相学习，互相包容，互相了解。完成仁波切的心愿，把我们世界成为佛净土，利益更多的众生。谢谢仁波切给予宝贵的佛法分享。
Rinpoche, it is so true that most people feel hurt and offended when truth about themselves are pointed out to them. It is really because they felt they have been embarrassed and ‘lose face’. We must always bear in mind that only people who truly care and have concern for our well being would take the trouble to point out our mistakes. We often feel hurt and offended because our ego was bruised. The lesson learnt here would be to find the strength and courage to correct our weak points and not blame the person who have so kindly pointed it out to us.
Thank you Rinpoche for always being so caring to guide us be a better person even to the point of losing popularity.
How many of us can truthfully say that we are perfect, with no trace of any wrong doings? There are so many people in this world who profess to be goody-goody but their actions do not reflect so. There is no sincerity. A hypocrite is one such person who claims to be what he is not.
We are all subject to this flaw and we need to own up to it, to shed this image and really become that someone we profess to be. So the change should come from within.
Dear Rinpoche, Thank you for this very very practical post to many of us. Its is very very useful for us if we contemplate well and think deeply and transform ourselves and apply it.
This article is like a bang straight to the face! In our circles there are so many of people acting hypocrites, even ourselves haha. Well its all due to egos, selfishness and etc. and a lot of people will never understand being that it will be hurting a lot of people that really cares for us and love us. Hypocrites are all around but we must do our best and apply what our Guru have taught us to be good.
Working in Dharma I have learn a lot and seen a lot and i always remind myself do not be like them. I truly appreciates Rinpoche’s teachings and I will transform to be a good person.
Thank you Rinpoche with my folded hands for this incredible post to knocked our head hahaha.
Please take care and stays well Rinpoche.
Love from Home,
Helena.
感谢仁波切的分享，上師的教法让我憶起了菩提道广论里提到的其实我们每个人都是病人，所谓的（病人）就是被贪嗔痴慢疑五毒煎熬的痛苦。
可是不是每个人都愿意承认自己有病了，而且还是病入膏盲 ！更甚的是雖然了解承认自己有病，但是又不大愿意服食上師所开的法药，变成自己一直都活在虚伪的壮态中。我们能够皈依上師，可以说是非常幸运的，能够遇见真正具格的上師，如尊贵的詹杜固仁波切是非常非常难得的，如果不能遵从上師的教法去学佛，我觉得非常可惜，枉度此生，很高兴上師给予此开示，很贴切的，一针见血点出我们学佛的弱点，非常随喜，感恩上師。
弟子合什顶礼
Here’s my take on what Rinpoche spoke about. I noticed that people are highly protective of their flaws. I do that too sometimes. People in general just have this shield up and whenever something that has been said that puts us in a bad light, we are quick to jump to a defensive. I do that too and I guess I have learnt to deal with it by thinking it through first.
Although it is alright to correct misunderstandings but we must remember the cause of the misunderstanding and work on it. It is not the person but what was being said or expressed. If we are irked and angered, there is really something wrong somewhere especially when the incident was in the past and what we really should be doing is moving on with our lives. That anger lingers on and festers. That’s very dangerous and we leave our humanity behind in pursuit of the nasty business of revenge… even to those who had been very kind to us.
Hence, I feel for Rinpoche and it deeply disturbs me that people are out to get Rinpoche. These people are the ones whom Rinpoche had been extremely kind to before. All I can say is that humanity has left them and I dare not even think what kind of repercussions are awaiting them later in life (if they are lucky) or in the next.
Even the best athlete needs a coach because a coach can see what the athlete may not. Similarly, Dharma students need a Guru to guide them in their journey towards happiness, peace and, ultimately, enlightenment. The method of coaching is communication…communication of what? Feedback or the truth of the moment as Rinpoche wrote.
I am not proud to realize and admit to my hypocrisy but, hey, the good news is that this is the first step towards being less of a hypocrite! After reading the post, I see with more clarity how being a hypocrite has caused the destructive consequence in our lives.
For one, we developed friends who are afraid to tell us the truth because we would probably give them hell for doing so. Yeah, I reflect on how I defend myself, justify and, in a worst scenario, attack the people who gave me feedback. One day, one of my friends told me that people are afraid to tell me the truth because they are afraid of my reaction. Wow, I realized I was really losing out from this. With the kindness of Tsem Rinpoche through His Dharma teachings, I was able to slowly pretend to be open to feedback and as I received valuable information about how people saw the truth, I was able to improve and create desirable results. With results, our motivation to receive feedback with greater pleasure increases, i.e results can help reduce our hypocrisy.
We love inspirations and we love to be inspired by … success. From Rinpoche’s post, I understand that inspirations do not arise from success but from the capacity to rise from failure. As I apply this teaching to the inspiring stories that moved me, it is very accurate: the people I perceive as inspirational are those who faced great difficulties and stood up and rose tall from them. So, inspiration is not about victory but tenacity, humility, commitment and honor to excel beyond the bad cards life deals you.
Rinpoche’s statement about using “judgment” as a repellent for feedback is so exposing! It is so true how we label truths and feedback as judgement so that we become their victims. So that we can remain where we are. So that people who gave the feedback feel guilty towards us for being “so mean”. Thank you Rinpoche for revealing our little tricks that have become so automatic to us that we may not even be conscious of the damage we do to ourselves!
So, yes I am a hypocrite for now. As Rinpoche says, the truth of the moment does not necessarily have to be the truth forever. We can change the truth by our choices and action. Thank you Rinpoche for always shedding light on our darkness.
Thank you Rinpoche for this inspirational teaching.
Yes, I do agree that we are all hypocrites to some degree because we are not enlightened. It is happened in our daily life.
When we keep repeats failing, there must be reason why this is happen because everything happened must be a reason. Due to our ego, we always point externally and blame others that caused us failed. We always make all sorts of excuses to hiding from the truth. In order to wasting our time, energy and resources to get revenge and destroy the people, why not we just embrace this as motivation to learn more and transform ourselves to be better person.
We should start to check within, face our shortcomings and changes them. As an ordinary people, it will be very hard because our own insecurities of facing the truth. So I think we should practice Dharma to bring strength and inner courage to help us overcome our shortcomings like fear, anger, jealousy and other bad habits. When someone tells us the truth, don’t argue or defend, we just listen to it, adapt to it, change to it and apply it. Life is impermanent, it is up to us to decide wants to be change to be happy person or keep blaming people living in disappointment. Every day we waste is a day closer to our final destination – death.
I like this sentence ‘Face ourselves and blossom’. The only enemy is ‘ME’, the only person we want to compete with is also ‘ME’. So be honest to ourselves, be responsible to ourselves and others around us.
I am grateful to have opportunity to learn from Rinpoche’s teaching for being so honest and straightforward to tell us what is the cause of our unhappiness. Again, thank you Rinpoche for his compassion always care about us very much.
The post tile is very apt for all of us. Are we hypocrites and how much extend are we? Some of us like to blame external circumstances when we feel unpleasant. Unpleasant feelings arise or trigger by the external circumstances (is it true?). Is it because of the unpleasant circumstances to begin with, or is it us labeling the circumstances as something to be unpleasant? Why do some don’t feel unpleasantness? Does it mean others tolerate more? They are easy? It could be a simple as something doesn’t go smoothly when we are doing our work, or a pencil got broken while we are writing. Is the broken pencil the problem or is it something not right in our mind?
Or really, it is just the case that we are just very attached to unpleasant feelings? When something is interrupted we got angry. When others are different compare to us we got angry and jealous. It could be people lifestyles, ownership, property and of course success. The opposite is also true. We are attached to pleasant feelings too. When we got ‘freedom’ to choose, eat whatever we want, do whatever we want, and it is a ‘kind’ of lifestyle that we will think is happy, and can bring pleasant feelings. If it didn’t meet certain criteria we are disturbed, angry, unhappy, resent others as Rinpoche said. Why me?
Blaming others we find fault in others, and stop moving and changing. Blaming ourselves we find fault in ourselves, feeling inferior, we make it as excuse to ‘be’ as in I am slow, I am stupid, I am worthless and stop improving. This is another form of laziness. The truth of the matter is we don’t want to look into ourselves, when we look into it we don’t like what we see, or when we see it we feel it doesn’t worth the effort to change. But why we want others to change but not us, like they are owing us? The whole world owe us, I don’t need to change and improve but others have to. Think this way and you will forever be unhappy because you’re depending on others to be happy which is kind of stupid, honestly speaking. I do think this way many times myself. And we continue to be lazy, unchanging, and expect to feel happy? The world doesn’t work this way. If it is we would be forever happy long time already.
Stop blaming others, and stop blaming you, I, me. Take responsibility. Meaning what? Break out of comfort zone. Do and achieve no matter what it takes. For us who are spiritual Rinpoche has given us the formula, serve others and take care ourselves at the same time. Make full use of our time here and the enlightened beings will do their best to assist us. Dear Rinpoche, many thanks for your guidance, love and care.
这世上没有不劳而获的事，就连呼吸也要自己去呼吸呀！别人得到称赞，我们不需要妒嫉，因为如果我们没有做好，哪的来别人的称赞呢？你会称赞一个什么也没做的人吗？
为什么要对其他人失望？是不是期望别人做给你呢？其他人是没有义务，帮我们做任何事，除了我们范围以外的，没有什么不开心的和失望。只要我们有去做，总有一天，别人会看见你！如果真的没有，认命吧！这是我们的因果：）
Yes we are indeed hypocrites in one way or another because we are not enlightened yet..if we continue to b ignorant n do not comtemplate on ourself,we will continue to suffer more if we put the blame on others..we should actually look into our own mistakes and understand all this is because of our misdeed in the past life..we should not hurt other people in order to cover up or just to feel better..we should feel grateful if our guru were to point out our mistakes and learn and change ourself into a better person because we are practicing the dharma n so we must put the dharma into practice..if we were to delay then of course eventually our suffering will never cease…not until we put in the first step,the initiative to change..
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank for the sharing which englighten me. Ever since I joined Kechara, i slowly found the main purpose we are all here and the path we are heading is not only to benefit everyone but also ourselves. All those negative or positive thought or action arise is due to our karma or what we have done that cause it to happen. I do always advise people around me who always complain or having their own problem without using much complicated way or terms. But aside from advising or pray and dedicate to them. Hoping for things going for better are eventually depend on them. Working in retail dharma outlet allow me to meet many different type of person that need help which is a challenge yet a meritorious way to bring the person to path of enlightenment.
We are not perfect. In fact we full of negativities, downfalls that make up what we are now. I think we have to keep on motivate ourself to keep moving instead of blame, asking why, get stuck with the failure. We need to keep on motivate ourselves to fix the up and down in life.
Thank you Rinpoche take care of us and keep remind us. Before I joined Kechara , i was very bad attitude, always blame others when things cannot done probably and is a hot temper guy, easy get angry. Now I’m slowly change my attitude, control my anger, stop to blame others and also not to be so lazy. After learning Dharma, know everything have cause and effect, will learn more and continue practice .
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart for this wake up call. After reading your teachings and reading the wonderful comments from our sisters and brothers, I am truly amazed and awed by your love, compassion and endless giving.
I reflect on my life for the last 40+ years and realised how much of a hypocrite I am. And I still am, sad to say, but with this profound and wonderful teaching, I now have the courage and humbleness to start changing immediately. Why did I not realise the hypocrisy previously? Simple – I clouded myself and shut my mind out.
Since I came to KH last August, I have slowly but surely started to transform my mind with your wonderful teachings and moral support from all in KH.
In short, Rinpoche, your teachings have struck a deep chord in my mind and it boils down to DO I HAVE THE COURAGE AND BE HUMBLED ENOUGH TO CHANGE BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE? The answer is a resounding YES !!!.
Thank you so much Rinpoche.
自我保护是求生的自然反应。可是为了自我保护，而伤害别人就是错的。
有时候会非常生气，别人对自己那么坏。会向别人发脾气，可能会让人伤心。有没有想过，去面对呢？静下来， 想一想，真的觉得自己很笨。做错了，就去面对！改过就好了，为什么要让更多的人受到影响呢？
有一句成语：“一山还有一山高。” 我们总不会是永远的 ＮＯ１ 吧？每天为了排名而活。。。。。。那不是更痛苦吗？
虚心学习，不要怨天尤人！ 怨恨与憎恨，只会让我们活在痛苦里。
As long as we are not enlightened we are all hypocrites trying to cover up our shortcomings. We often do not see our faults and not many people will point out to us as they do not want to look bad. People who care and wish for us to improve will help us to overcome our shortcomings. It is up to us whether we want to push ourselves out from the habituation of our comfort zones.
Without Rinpoche’s care and love for his students, many will not be who they are today. Through Rinpoche’s teachings and guidance many have transformed and improved to be better in the secular and spiritual world. When we transformed to be a better person, to have integrity and be true to ourselves, we will be able to benefit others and be respected by society. The choice is ours whether we choose to fail or achieve something in our lives. We can’t change the world but we can change ourselves if we want to and by applying Rinpoche’s teachings into our lives that is possible!
Revenge may seems to be satisfaction for the immediate moment, but when we settled down our mind, we’ll start to feel bad and empty, because we have achieved nothing but more damages instead, where on earth will we find real happiness with damages?
Jealousy is just another damages for ourselves, we jealous about what other people gained and we didn’t, but we did not see what he has done behind the stage, he works while we are working, and he still works when we were sleeping, how can we accomplish something in our sleep? It make no sense for us to be jealous of someone or angry at them, they did not grab away the things from us, they just took it since we are busy with our laziness and not taking it.
We saw many people who group together to plot for evil actions against people who are successful, these people may portray to be innocent, to be helpless, trying to get help from everywhere to make their revenge successful, they seems to be very unite in carrying out such task, harmony, working together, caring for each other, but guess what, when something strike their group, they will be betraying each other to save their own selves, the reason they get together is so that they can lick each other’s wound, nothing more than that.
Work hard, achieve what we deserve to achieve, that’s the only way to live our life, we only sees the situation at the moment, what we gain and lose at that moment, but we do not see far enough to the future, we do not know what’s coming next, even when we are at the darkest moment now, it doesn’t mean that the brightest day won’t come next, and it can be in the next minute, so we don’t need to have to be jealous about others, just work our way through and we’ll reached there one day.
我们的社会灌输我们如何将幸福放在“别人”的手中：
有了房子你就会快乐，
有了“真正的爱人”、
有了钻石戒指、
有了跑车、
生了儿子、儿子考上大学、媳妇孝顺、
丈夫在外不偷吃、
自己身材不变形、
自己的女友会下厨、
孙子聪明、
手上拿着最新颖的包包、
受到别人的赞赏···
那么我们就会快乐。
事实上果真如此？就算全部都具足，现实中：
有了房子，开始了几十年的银行付款；
有了“真正的爱人”，天天担心他的离开；
有了钻石戒指，担心会有人偷去；
有了跑车，年年的维修，担心别人刮伤车漆；
生了儿子、儿子考上大学、媳妇孝顺，却要三五年才见一次面；
丈夫在外不偷吃，却天天对自己呼呼呵呵；
自己身材不变形，计算卡路里，餐餐不能放松的吃；
自己的女友会下厨，也吸引更多的仰慕者；
孙子聪明，但只会说英语，不懂你的方言华语；
手上拿着最新颖的包包，却都是独自出门逛街；
受到别人的赞赏，却怀疑到底是否真实还是有目的。
我们都是将“快乐”建筑在一个“分秒都在改变的因素”。当我们被告知事实的时候，我们不能接受，因为这个和我们被灌输的“幸福”的画面不符合。然后我们觉得别人是在批评、抨击我们。
有谁希望别人讨厌自己？既然知道说出实话会让人不开心，许多人宁可闭上嘴巴。
另一边厢，说者不要因为是为了让自己有着“关心别人”的好外表，不断的说却实际上从不行动帮助别人，甚至连用膳后都不洗碗碟者，大家都是伪君子。
As a normal human being living in samsara, we are all hypocrites. Not having a mindful mind, being lazy and ignorant, one will not advanced in his or her Dharma Practice. To say the least, by keeping these negativities, it will actually hinder ones Dharma practice. Hence, we should understand and apply the Dharma correctly, as taught by our Guru with great effort. We should learn to accept any criticism when we were exposed of our weaknesses and on the other hand, we should not judge others as well. We should carefully analyse the situation/matter beforehand.
Attendees :Gordon, Kai Lynn, Siaw Ching, Linny, Louis, Natsumi, Soon Huat, Loh Ann Leong and Chin Seong.
我个人非常赞同Rinpoche 所说的，在某种程度，我们都是伪君子，这是因为我们还没达到证悟及看清。这也令我想到其实Rinpoche 的提醒，原来也是有联系着《修心八颂》里第一颂至第八颂的涵义。
我个人的看法是，修行是可以帮助我们增长智慧，让我们可以拥有正知与正念来解决问题或烦恼。再接着就是帮助他人，利益更多众生。
但是，往往很多人不敢接触佛法或是半途离去，因由于业力或障碍所影响。因为，佛法会让你看清自己，但很多人就是不敢面对真实的一面。之所以不敢面对，这就造成一直堕落，而得不到平静心。除此之外，也不会去承认自己的过失，而一直埋怨他人，这样损坏了自己的善根，成见也越来越深。
当有了成见，无形中嗔恨心就生起了。这边厢我们在修行，那边厢我们有嗔恨心，这不是虚伪吗？？
非常感恩，因为Rinpoche再次提醒我们，为有转变自己得内心，不要再埋怨他人，不管那是有多困难的事。除此，我觉得如果我们坚持的去理解与实践《修心八颂》，这样修行与修心会更容易达成与圆满。
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this wonderful teachings. I will keep on reading as a reminder ,apply dharma teachings in my live to less sufferings and increase happiness !!!
When we live in integrity we are sincere and true to ourselves—we don’t say or think one thing and do another. People trust and respect us, our relationships are solid, and we feel good about ourselves. Those positive feelings from others and within ourselves reinforce our values and build our reputation and self-esteem, leading us to greater success in all areas of our lives.
There is no one to be blamed if we fail in something. Rather than viewing failure in a negative way where we put ourselves down and think WE are a failure or start blaming it on someone, think of failure as a valuable learning experience. When we look at our mistakes with a view to learning from them, rather than sending ourselves negative messages, we are on the path to success.
Thank you Rinpoche for reminding me of my faults & short coming in my practices.
Laziness, fear & anger are all stamp from our wrong perception & pride. Because of our pride & negative habituations we always find it difficult to due with changes even if we believe that it is good for us. This reminds me of the 8 verses of mind training which I recite in my sadhana. It is a powerful message in training the mind to be less self concerned but more for others. There are times that I find strength & courage in these verses to overcome my fear & pride when dealing with challenging people & situations in my life. In some ways, it helps me to be more acceptance of these difficult people & dealing with these situations by overcoming my fear & letting go of my ego. These days, I rely on these verse & reflecting on them help me to be more patient, kinder & caring towards people that I meet.
I do agree that we are all hypocrites to certain degree including myself. But we must not use hypocrisy to hide our faults because in the end we are only hurting ourselves. In spiritual sense, there is no benefit being a hypocrite because the negative habituations will hinder our progress & bring more suffering life after life.
With folded hands,
Ron
Thank you for giving us this teaching Rinpoche. It is very related to how our mind works in denial if we do not take the effort to understand, realise and practice the dharma. We would always blame someone of our own failure and give all sorts of excuses to think it was not our own faults, not realising that we would only dwell into further failure and disappointment. This is a wake up call for us not waste more time in training our mind. We must always look within and be honest with ourselves, then make effort to change the cause of our failure.
I am grateful for having met you Rinpoche and given the chance to learn Dharma from you. You have made the teachings easy to relate in our daily lives for us to understand and learn. But due to our own habitual obstruction such as laziness, complacency, lack of determination and anger, we often use it as an excuse not to apply the teachings. This makes us all hypocrites since we know it but do not practice it. I am one guilty of it myself. May I not waste further time but practice sincerely daily as an offering to Rinpoche, my kind Guru who love and care for us without any condition.
Thank You Rinipoche for sharing it and pointing out the ultimate “truth” we are afraid to face in almost our whole life; To face the ugliest aspect of ourselves. We always use angry to cover our short falls or blaming others to cover it. It sounds to me like the 3 pots story Rinpoche has told us; leaking pot, contaminated pot and upside down pot.
We should stop running away from our problems and start facing it with courage and conquer it (transformation). Time waiting for nobody, once we are dead, we will be controlled by karma. We should seize this opportunity to learn from our senior in Kechara and follow our root Guru’s instruction completely.
Cheers,
Soon Huat
Dear Lama
Thank you for your kind precious teachings as reflected in this article. The article is so relevant to me in daily life due to the following:
– Wanting to get someone and feeling victimized by a situation are temporary and illusory in nature.
– Dharma has always revealed the truth through kind lamas. However, sometimes, we humans are too carried away in the ocean of samsara of temporary and illusory circumstance that we blamed those who have been so kind to reveal the truth (denial mode).
– It must be due to the great compassion of kind Lamas such as H.E. Tsem Tulku Rinpoche to continue to turning the wheel of Dharma regardless of the negative reaction that they received from their students.
Much love and care
Valentina
Thanks for another profound teaching. I have to admit Buddhism teaching is not a feel good religious to ignorance mind, it’s an antidote to mind transform. Our beloved “vehicle sharing dharma” is pinpointing to the truth fact that most people unpleasant with.
This is not an easy task for mind transformation within “flip of switch”. Our bad habitual driven by subconscious mind to seek for pleasure and worldly excitement.
But if we willingness to consistently improve our spiritual path by pursuing Rinpoche teaching, apply into daily life and not another excuse to be escaped, we are step ahead of spiritual growth and well confront with negative thoughts.
Thank you so much for this insightful teaching and for Rinpoche’s care for all.Coming to the realization that we are no better than the next person can be a difficult truth to face,but in reality it takes a great weight of our shoulders.Coming face to face in the realities that we have been denying for years is by no means an easy way to do.Whether we like it or not ,most of us judge others more severely than we judge ourselves. Keeping the truth in mind and Rinpoche’s precious teachings has helped me come to terms with many life’s lessons. Thank you Rinpoche.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you so much for your teachings and a good to keep on reading as a reminder.
Your post reflected much is my past attitude before now. Yes, people are always pointing out fingers is much easier then pointing in (ourself) or wanting a person to change into our ways is much easier also. In long run, this has no benefit to the pointing finger person instead benefit the person who absorb the blame as this person will learn more than the “One”.
Oneself changes will eventually send out the message to people surrounding and people will see and treat differently than before. In my experience now that I have made changes myself and will do this continuously. Again, I’m humbly prostrate to you for your tirelessly teaching and spreading dharma to benefit others.
Sincerely and much love,
Victor Choi
The Buddha has given practical guidance for lay life and sound advice to cope with lifes’ difficulties. Many of lifes’ difficulties for which we blamed on circumstances and chance may be the result of our ignorance or negligence. Because of the lack of understanding of things as they truly are; i.e. the wrong sorts of things, the pleasures that money can buy, power over others, fame and name, and last but not least, the wish to go on living forever. But as stated, when we find them to be passing unsatisfying, and empty as hollow as a bamboo which split, the results are frustration and disappointment, sense of inadequacy and insufficiency. If we don’t get our wishes, we react with hate or take shelter in a world of delusive unrealty or fantasy! To remedy these, we must correct our understanding and thinking, as taught by our wisdomised Guru of experiences. Though it is not easy, we have to, and must remove all shades of desire that are the causes of such restlessness and discontent. We must be able to reach a state of perfection of calm, thereby bringing an end to our painful cycle of birth and death. Such achievement can only be depended on our own devotion to our Guru and the determination of ourselves, as always reminded of through our Guru’s teachings! Om mani Padme Hung.
Thank You Rinpoche for this wonderful teachings, where I can relate most parts to my personal experience one way or another. Self reflection and “look within” for answers in every occasion especially when faced with failures & unhappiness, to me, is an essential part of one’s spiritual growth.
In the past, through habituation, I constituted any unhappiness to the doings of others, always finding excuses or pointing fingers. As a result, I became a self created victim and it is natural that the bad result spiral. There was no way out of it, unless I started looking within and transform.
Hence, it is my wish to make self reflection as an intrinsic value to eradicate the bad habituation of blaming & finding excuses. I wish for all my Dharma friends to succeed in this too.
Thankyou Rinpoche for this post. Its really a good post for us to contemplate on. It is also like a reminder for us, to deal with everyday life. This is a post that I must share to others, as it makes a lot of sense and like a wake up call for us *slap*slap* (time to wake up). Its quite funny when I read the part ‘ If I do I die, if I dont I die ‘ because its really true this is how we act. We get angry when somebody speaks out the truth. We get angry because it is really the truth, it touches something inside of us and also our ego reacts to it. It is very true that there’s no point clinging to the past, it brings out anger and other negative emotions which is unpleasant, brings us no where and no benefit. This post remind us to always be open minded,listen,contemplate,accept, learn from our mistake and then move on to do something beneficial.
Thank you Rinpoche for your sharing.We are indeed hypocrites.Most of the time ,we wish to see weakness in others to drop a cynical remark in order to feel righteous.Even though that person had help us out numerous times without an agender.
Our mind is weak and we do not appreciate others.If we spend all our energy to understand the inner beauty in others and learn to follow the proven correct path of enlightened ones in the present and past.
We would be counting our blessing and value our precious human lives.As it is, we are deceive by the false pleasure in samsara.We view anger and arrogance as a form of human reaction that we should be proud of as it shows the level of power an individual possess. There are those who are actually mentally weak .But they chose intimidation and induce fear in others to hide this.
I could only pray for wisdom and practice the correct application of dharma knowledge that had been imparted to us by the most generous person .Who did it solely out of compassion for us to transform our weak and deceive mind.
Thank you Rinpoche…
Thank you Rinpoche for highlighting the subtle working mind that lead to all my unhappiness and failures. Just by acknowledging and accepting without actual efforts in wanting to transform is in fact futile. I will endeavor to confront with all my negative thoughts with all the teachings I have heard from Rinpoche. Hence, the magic words to succeed will be “Just do it and keep doing it!”.
Because of our own desires, we refuse to admit our hypocrisy and refuse to change ourselves. We live behind a mask that causes misery to ourselves and others. Sometimes it is not easy to overcome our ignorance to change but our guru’s teaching of Dharma is the antidote, provided only if we are willing to change.
I am a hypocrite. I am lazy, ignorant, egotistical and quick tempered. I acknowledge all these and accept they are bad. They are obstructions to my happiness. I must make the effort to curtail these negativities by starting to reduce the degree of each of my bad points. I will learn dharma more and practice them as the practice of dharma is the only salvation I have.
Thank you, Rinpoche, for this wonderful teaching of self acknowledgement. _/|\_
Agreed with Pastor Henry. Would like to make effort to ( Correct ) all my hypocrite,laziness, ignorant, egotistical and quick tempered.
This teaching is like a hammer knock out my mind. ( Time to wake up )
Thank You, Rinpoche for always knocking out my mind.
Best Regards
Eric
This post was like a mirror as read through every single line. My heart was pounding as I reflect back all my actions of past and present. The truths does really hurt, ruled by the worldly concern, I acted in hypocritical way to hide myself behind the Dharma curtain, refusing certain task or avoid a certain people. There’re few key points I summarized on my failure:
1) Due to laziness and wanting to takes short-cut that leads to me doing nothing!
2) Jealousy of others success leads to me thinking “Since you are doing it, there is no need for me to participate”.
3) Wasting of energy on my own pain, anger and being depress leads me to being too tire for anything else.
4) I’m a “Bad company” to someone as they are one to me. We encourage each other to do nothing.
5) Focusing all my energy to maintain a household left me little energy to think about my Guru teachings and his works.
The Guru advises,
1) An inspirational and successful person is inspirational because of his hard work on overcoming obstacles.
2) He doesn’t spend his energy on jealousy but focusing on his goal.
3) There is no perfection in samsara, whatever you do or don’t there always peoples who support or disparage you.
4) Check within to see where the actual problem lie. If it is within us, do something about it. If it is external, just let it go as our result will quell it down.
5) Always choose the right company, choose one that inspire you to overcome your own weakness. Also always choose your Guru who’s only intention was to guide you alleviate from all your neurotic problems.
7) The Truth (Dharma) is not meant to be critical or to judge you. It just there remind you of your actual situation.
6) Remembering death as it will come at anytime. Change now! Or else we would be left with only feeling despair and regrets at our final.
Thank you Rinpoche for your Kindness and constant reminder.
Dear Rinpoche,
Yes we are all hypocrite as we are not enlightened. We say one thing, promise something and we do not 100% do what we say or promised. If we blame others then we are truly a hypocrite. But if we know our imperfections and sincerely improve daily on it then I feel this hypocrite will finally triumph.
With Folded Hands!
Dear Rinpoche,
The practice of teachings of the Buddha that You are actively, compassionately imparting on all of us in Kechara and through this blog must necessary be practice by the practitioner to gain any benefits. This is means we can only reap what is sowed by ourselves. This includes everything on the outside and what is going on in our mind that you so clearly explained. Everything about others including the perceived faults and the “good” are results of our actions and perceptions. We cannot control others, whether the perception is “right” or “wrong”. We can only transform ourselves as you mentioned, it is like a mirror. It is true reflection of ourselves.
So don’t blame others, only correct our thinking and actions. That is the only way we can transform ultimately.
Rinpoche has mentioned it before that being a Dharma teacher is not easy because the teacher is going to point out the issues or things which will make the student unhappy. I am feeling the similar difficulties (of course is lower magnitude) when I shared Dharma with friends. They had this feeling that I am making them wrong.
Supposedly you are a sponsor, and you give Rinpoche money for Him to do my Dharma work, why would Rinpoche want to upset you and eventually you leave and don’t sponsor anymore? However, if Rinpoche sees what is wrong and point it out to your so that you can relief from suffering, as your teacher, He will still point out the issue regardless. If Rinpoche doesn’t care about you, Rinpoche would just keep quiet and continue receiving your sponsorship. To me, Rinpoche doesn’t really care about the sponsorship, but instead, care much more about the mind transformation of the student, because mind transformation is what will make a person truly happy.
Lastly I would like to share this picture (tweeted by Rinpoche as well):
https://twitter.com/tsemtulku/status/467976961776947202/photo/1
“In a way we are all hypocrites to some degree because we are not enlightened and we must realize this. We should embrace this as motivational to learn more and apply and not another excuse to be complacent, give up, fail or just be angry.”
Thank you Rinpoche for this wonderful teaching, always sharing the truth inspirational words with us and I want the above message to sink in my mind as great reminder. Thank you with folded hands.
Thank You Rinpoche for spending thousands of hours to write, do research, teach and benefit others. Your endless concern, care and love for the student’s spiritual path is very much appreciated. You are a Real Guru, Who always thinks of how to benefit others no matter what happens. When we have disappointed Rinpoche, You are still there for us! Thanks Rinpoche.
Thank You again for the teaching and the reminder. The teachings has touched me deeply and I will consistently keep this teachings close to me, before it’s too late.
Dear Rinpoche thank you for giving us a very inspiring teaching. In order for us to succeed in something we need to be able to accept criticism and we do blame others if the method we use is not work the problem about us is we do not like to accept changes when there is situation we need to make some changes we find it very upset then we start to put a blame on others we even get angry about the situation or that person . I guess we have to blame no one else except our own karma or our own mind that trick us . We are so fortunate to have a guru who guide us and pit point our weakness we should not think he is wrong because in the first place when we take refuge in our guru we should put our full trust in him that he can help us to overcome all our problem and uproot our delusion in our mind, bear in mind do not create the karma for us to leave our guru we should have full guru devotion in him because everyone of us do have a lot of short coming that need a guru who have higher wisdom to guide us.
Thank you so much Dear Guru for your empowering teaching.we disappointed to other and we west time for doing nothing .Rinpoche always care us love us because he want us to become better and better. dharma only one way to make people life better.Thank you again kindess guru.
Most people do not like to hear the truth and the criticism of ourselves but somehow we have to face the truth and change ourselves and can’t be a hypocrites all the times!
Thank you Rinpoche for being so straight forward by telling us the truth and point out what harms can cause us by teaching us the law of cause and effect constantly so that we must practice the eight mind transformation to become a less self cherishing person to benefit others.
When people didn’t change within, they couldn’t stop blaming others. Although I am trying to practice compassion and kindness, when same person keep coming back to me and blaming the same people did the same things to them, I feel very impatient and I hope we all can open up to ourselves like what this article says, We Are All Hypocrites, that’s why we feel unhappy, and we generate so much anger to others from this.
I think when we focus our energy on “How to get them back” (in a negative way) is totally wasting of time. Like what Rinpoche says, we focus on growing, be successful is more practical. Both might be same in physical action, but the latter one generate more positive energy and direct us to a better life.
For me, most of the time, we think others always “get us, hurt us”, think deeply, does it really exist or our mind is playing game with us driven by ego? If it doesn’t exist at all, won’t it be crazy to “get people back” for something that not exist, or the one who “get people” first are us? If it truly exist, why do we want to add to the karma circle to get people back, then what goes around comes around?
I am that kind of person that would think people is “getting me”, but sometimes I think deeply that it’s just our mind games or if it’s true, it’s a game of karma. I want to win this game by stop creating same causes, and change within in order to get out of this circle.
I always thanks Rinpoche from my heart for being so honest and straighforward, tell us what is the core of our unhappiness and the truth of our endless sufferings. I still have a long way to go, learning more from Rinpoche will definitely make me realize more. Thank you Rinpoche, may you be super well.
In the corporate world there is a mantra: Same people, same strategy, same (poor) results. In this case: Same mind, same thinking, same samsaric results. Wise up, learn and practise. Thank you Rinpoche.
The truth is always hard to swallow. Here Rinpoche has yet again delivered a painfully honest and biting teaching but a necessary one because we all must be reminded again and again to face the reality that we really are hypocritical victims unwilling to face up and accept the truth. We are always looking for an easy way out instead of working harder to improve ourselves. Personally I wish to take to heart all of Rinpoche’s good teachings in order to transform myself for a higher purpose. To humbly accept all criticisms and learn from them.
Thank you Rinpoche for the teachings for telling us the truth and reminding us to transform. Rinpoche has tirelessly doing this for years and years and Rinpoche still doing. Because Rinpoche cares and loves us very much and never giving us up. Although it seems like just another teachings but when we really stop, read and think deep about it, we realized it’s been long that we have been doing this and how long more can we do this? Every time when things fell apart we blamed the whole world, we depress, we angry, we asked “why me…….??”, we cried, we creamed, we drink, we smoke and the list is long. Answer is very simple, we fail to face ourselves and face the truth. What’s the truth? The truth is we never look into ourselves to find the fault in us and change our bad habits. So we spent lots of time to cover it nicely like a nice make up that we spent hours to do it everyday to hide all our scars and dots on our faces so that we can be seen as a nice and happy person… and then what’s next?
You can say it’s all fated so you can’t change. wrong wrong wrong.. why? We are not animal. We have brain that can think very well and we even have the ability to be enlighten. You can also listen to Rinpoche’s talk, watch Rinpoche’s youtube and read what Rinpoche had blogged. Reading many many times does help cause it can remind us again and again until it gets in our mind. Being alert of our own bad habits is very important so that we can let it pass quickly at the same time we watch our own mind and we guard it for not creating more damage. In control and change of our own bad habits can be very hard if I put in the poor me drama but it also can be very easy if i think about death.
One day wasted on blaming others, revenge, say something to hurt, thinking on how to lie so that i can cover my faults is really stupid because all these never bring benefits to me but more depress, angry and fear. Haven’t we had enough sufferings here? Why create more sufferings for myself and others? Who gain? no one but time and energy wasted that’s for sure. Stupid isn’t it?
Some people may say that they have no choice because they were trapped in a certain situation. Think what actually trapped you? Check our own mind. For whatever excuses or reasons you gave yourself no one will judge you but remember nothing is permanent. Things will change. There’s always a chance out there. Chant the mantra, do our prayers, make offerings and do dharma work so that we can purify our karma and collect enough merits to see that opportunity when it comes.
Dear Rinpoche,
It is so true to face our own fears and failure, rather than pin it down someone and blame them and exact revenge on them. It’s a waste of time and to gain pittance sympathy.
Getting ourselves on our feet, working towards success, focusing on what will makes us happy, and the people around us positive is the best deal, and the best “revenge” we can show to others that seems to bring us down.
Thank you Rinpoche. This post came at a very right time for me. To clear some of the dark clouds in my mind and head.
Dearest Rinpoche. Thank you for consistently reminding us what is the most important thing we have to develop before the end of our time. I am sorry you are often misunderstood and have to bear with our ignorance and stubbornness. Most ordinary teachers would have given up on us a long time ago. But because you are the essence of wisdom and compassion you never give up on us. I humbly thank you for your sincere love and care.
Thank you Rinpoche for the teachings. There are 2 things we can learned from this blog post.
1. The role of a teacher
The teacher is like a psychiatrist, his job is to tell us where our problem is and he gives us guidance to fix our problems. It is just right that a teacher pinpoint our weakness for us to improve.
2. The role of a student
As a student, we have to put in the effort in order to see results, to have improvement, to become better. It is only when we fully accept our weakness, we would be able to solve the problems we have. If we have decided to have a teacher, it is because we want to learn and become better. So, we have to face the truth and do something about it. Not to run away and be angry at our teacher. A teacher is not here to put us down, to make sure we fail. He is here to make sure we succeed!
We pay the psychiatrist to tell us our problems and be told that we have to deal with the problems ourselves. Yet we do not go around and criticise the psychiatrist for throwing the problems back to us. But when our Dharma teacher (who does not charge any fees), with compassion, tells us where our problems are and give us guidance to solve our problems, we are not appreciative, we say bad things about our teacher. This is very wrong.
We have to always remember our Dharma teacher is not our enemy, he cares about us. No one can take our problems away except for ourselves. Any teachings our teacher give is to lead us into solving the problems in our lives and becoming a happier person.
Thank you Rinpoche for this very inspirational and empowering teaching.
Yes, as long as we are not enlightened, we are all hypocrites. We practice self-deception and deception of others in so many ways and at so many levels. Yet the greatest deception is ‘convincing’ ourselves that our guru is nasty and ‘evil’ because, he just wants to criticize us and be judgmental of us and to put us down.
That self-deception, if allowed to play out in all its fullness, with the accompanying traits of blaming others,laziness, jealousy of and anger with others, fears and delusions , guilt, failures,will surely in the end lead to our spiraling downwards into darkness and self-destruction.
We seek happiness and success. The only road-map to true happiness and success is that provided by our compassionate Guru of infinite wisdom and pure motive.Only he can expose us to the degree and the nature of our guilt, our laziness,our negativities, our fears, our delusions,and our laziness, that are the true source of our suffering. Only he then can skillfully help us to eradicate our suffering and its causes. We need only put our 100 percent faith and trust in him, and offer him our wholehearted devotion.
But we must start by looking within us and face our shortcomings and traits that pull us down.See what needs to be changed and change it.
“Everyday we waste is a day closer to our deaths and that is final. Everyday wasted is another day we could have gone in the direction of achieving something beneficial before that finality”.So let’s start NOW !
Accepting criticism is just so difficult for many people. If only we realise that the person who so call criticises us only cares about us to improve. Such a person who tells us what is really wrong with us is no means our enemy but rather a dear beloved friend who wants us to succeed in life.
We do not see our faults as we have blind hooded ourselves and are great hypocrites in being not true to who we are. We put forth a facade that indicates the norm of a beautiful person. But truth be told most of us can blind many but can never blind ourselves eventually because we cannot be happy internally.
I have learnt that from the teachings of Rinpoche and have learnt to face up to my shortcomings, learning to cope with them and correct them. Acknowledge my shortcomings, find ways to eradicate them so that I benefit the most, with that so sought after INNER PEACE.
Thank you, Rinpoche for always loving us to teach us about ourselves and how to progressively improve. When that happens we can be pure vessels to propagate the Dharma which is so beneficial to elevate sufferings in Samsara.
How true it is to say that all experiences in life are lessons, that difficulties are mirrors of our souls and that a bruised ego deflects rather than reflects on the blame! I was in a difficult emotional agony when this article popped up in my email and boy, the pain was dispelled almost immediately after reading the first few lines! There is really nothing and no one to blame for anything we experienced. An experience is just an experience, a transient sensation that immediately becomes memories, perhaps soon even forgotten. The point is that we must take these as precious gems in our hard to come by human existent. It is from these momentary sparks that our mind reflects, learns and elevates. That’s just my little two cents. My homage to my gurus who are one with Je Tsongkhapa.
Thank you Rinpoche,
I make so many excuses in my mind, I don’t want to do this anymore….slowly i think i am getting the hang of it. It feels like just observing situations with less emotionality envolved really helps. Even if the emotions come up later anyway ~ i will have more space to allow them without judging and move on from here.
Meditating puts everything in even perspective,
Love and care in Dharma,
Oya
We are very ignorant of our suffering, the origins of our suffering, its cessation and the path for its cessation. We must take full responsibility and accept whatever unpleasant experiences that befell us. In reality, we are the cause of all our problems and sufferings. We should not blame others. Blaming others will not remove our miseries. The more we do not accept but blame others for our suffering the more we will remain miserable.
2Why be ungrateful to the kind guru who had pointed out our faults in order for us to transform for the better?
Thank You Rinpoche for such a clear teaching.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thanks for Rinpoche powerful teaching that Remind Us how to be a Better person through Dharma.
Yes, most of us are hypocrites in the daily life with hundred of thousand of million peoples we met. Its very hard and need too much energy to putting our Mask On daily to meet them.
“Dharma is your ‘enemy’. Not me. But actually Dharma is not your enemy so be honest. I am suppose to point out what harms. My duty is to share the laws of cause and effect. I am suppose to help you to ‘expose’ yourself to your degrees of laziness, fears, traumas, pains, loneliness, guilt, failures, ignorance, unhappiness and where it comes from. So you have the knowledge to eradicate it and be uplifted. All Dharma teachers in the past did the same. All Dharma books does the same thing. If everyone is perfect and enlightened, we don’t need Dharma books or teachers. All Dharma books ever speak of is our 84,000 afflictions, their causes and antidotes!”
After learn more Dharma from Rinpoche teaching, is not easy to putting down our Mask but at least through Dharma protector, Guru Yoga and Manjushri practices we able to try removing our Mask sometime to deal with real life society.
“I am a monk and Buddhist teacher, so what else am I suppose to teach but what is in our minds that make us unhappy? Even if you may feel I am pinpointing you which I am not. Don’t blame me please, I am just the vehicle 🙂 sharing dharma.”
Thanks Rinpoche for being a Great Guru and Spiritual Guide to always push our button to make us to be a better person hence able to collect more Merits to be free for sufferings (Enlightenment)
Thank you Rinpoche, for sharing this teaching. Instead of hurting others in an act of vengeance, you should better yourself as it is a more appropriate use of energy. This is useful in situations where you have to work with more people.
Tashidelek Rinpoche, thank you so much for sharing us the inspirational teaching about the truth of life. No words to say, just want to thank you a lot:-)
Thank you, Rinpoche for the making us face the truth. If Rinpoche does not care, Rinpoche would not even bother to tell us anything. Thank you for your compassion and love.
Fong,
You are right, I do care and very much. Doing blog work is extremely time consuming and lots of energy, thoughts, research to. I have spent thousands of hours on it in hopes it will benefit. I get nothing from the blog as I do not charge or ask for anything in return and if I know it benefits I am happy.
It moves me when people take the time and appreciation to leave their thoughts on this comment section. Their thoughts that are sincere and well thought out.
The backend of the blog is expensive and also very time consuming for my team and yet they work hard and plug on. I appreciate them very much. My work for this blog has totally been a commitment to be of benefit to others. Tsem Rinpoche
Thank you for all your love and compassion. I cannot repeat it often enough. I sometimes wish I know how to help further Rinpoche’s cause.
Rinpoche’s teaching is always so true and direct and after reading Rinpoche I am one more time reminded that time is short and to not waste any more time but work for the benefit of others selflessly.
I have a very deep gratitude for Rinpoche for his endless generosity with everything I am learning and being reminded from this reading.
Thank you Rinpoche. It’s very true as taking revenge on someone who makes us disappointed is a waste of time and energy. Why not we improve ourselves in many ways and evaluate back on our inner mind to progress further in both physically and mentally?
This teaching from Rinpoche is very useful and effective for those who are working in a factory with thousands of people.
I am happy this helps you. My intent to do so much work blogging is to help people in my limited way. I am not perfect, but I have listened to many teachings from perfect gurus that I can share with everyone. My prayers for you. Tsem Rinpoche
Thank you Rinpoche for your prayers.
Thank you Rinpoche. This is a teaching I’ll be going over and over again.