Remembering Guru Deva Rinpoche

By Martin Chow

Spending time with H.E. the 25th Tsem Rinpoche is always a joyous time. It is a time of great learning, it is a time when Rinpoche uses a range of methods for us to show us our mind, and it is a time of bonding and character building. And all the while Rinpoche makes these occasions full of fun and laughter. Often, Rinpoche will tell us stories and when Rinpoche shares his stories, it is like a magical portal that opens up giving very close insights and an almost personal experience of places, people and situations that Rinpoche has encountered. Amongst the many stories Rinpoche has told, one of my favourite is the story of Guru Deva Rinpoche.

Sogpu Rinpoche, or Guru Deva Rinpoche

The Guru Deva Rinpoche story is a tale of extraordinary and selfless giving and generosity. It is a story of how the kindness of one great Tibetan lama changed the life of our own guru, Tsem Rinpoche. In many ways, we have Tsem Rinpoche today because Guru Deva Rinpoche contributed immensely towards Rinpoche’s journey to becoming the most important person in our life today. But there is a parallel story, which is an important narrative of the quality of the person who became our Guru. It speaks of Tsem Rinpoche’s courage, strength, gentleness, hope and kindness in the face of incredible and punishing odds, under which most people would crumble and claim valid reasons to fail and become bitter and fearful. The Guru Deva Rinpoche tale is providentially also a declaration of Tsem Rinpoche’s love and trust for the Dharma, which now illuminates so many people’s path away from samsara.

But to understand the story of Guru Deva Rinpoche you first need to know the circumstances that led to Tsem Rinpoche’s meeting with Guru Deva Rinpoche.

H.E. Tsem Rinpoche, when he was a young boy in Taiwan

When anyone asks Rinpoche what his earliest memories are, Rinpoche will say his earliest memories are that of him as boy nicknamed ‘Siaw Niu’ (Little Bull) walking down a lane in Taiwan – Taipei to be exact – to go for a haircut. The school Siaw Niu attended when he was a little boy had a rule that all students are to sport crew cuts and so when it was time, the couple that Siaw Niu assumed were his parents would give him just enough money and send him down the street to get a haircut. But in fact, Siaw Niu’s ‘parents’ in Taiwan were just caretakers paid to look after him. To them the young Rinpoche was merely a job and so they did just enough to get paid.

The lama so many of us know as Tsem Rinpoche and whom many in the world trust and depend on today grew up as ‘Siaw Niu’, an unwanted child who used to run around in the streets of Taipei. As a child Rinpoche had very little in terms of toys, clothes, affection and attention. Rinpoche recalls that as a toddler, he would look forward to the visit of an elderly lady who came to see him from time to time. Her name was Dechen Minh and she would bring ‘Siaw Niu’ sweets, new clothes and toys. Those visits would be the only time Rinpoche as a little boy was shown any love or affection. Rinpoche was told that Dechen Minh was his grandmother but being a child the significance of that was lost on him. Neither did Rinpoche know that Dechen Minh was in fact a Queen and therefore he himself was of Mongolian royal parentage.

H.E. Tsem Rinpoche with Dechen Minh

One day Dechen Minh came and said to Rinpoche, “We are going to America.” There was no explanation why they were going and what he was to do there. Rinpoche was six years old then and being a child, he didn’t really know what America was or what to think of it. But he went along with Dechen Minh because over the many occasions she had visited him, she had been kind and shown him a lot of love, and the two of them had developed a warm and affectionate relationship. Still Rinpoche the boy was sad to leave his guardian – although they had not treated him properly (some would even say they treated him cruelly), still he had regarded them as his parents. Rinpoche was the kind of boy who appreciated every single little thing done for him and he would grow up with this uncommon attribute and be known for having a love for all beings, and with no capacity to bear hatred and grudges.

Rinpoche slept throughout the long PanAm Airlines flight and when he woke up they had arrived in this new place, America. And just like that, the life, place and people that Rinpoche had known up until that moment was over and uncertainty awaited him.

Having arrived in America, Dechen Minh took Rinpoche to a lady’s house in Philadelphia. Her name was Dewa Nimbo and she had a husband and two sons. Dechen Minh told Rinpoche that the lady was her daughter but being very young, he did not draw any conclusions about the relationship between his grandmother and Dewa Nimbo, to him. Rinpoche was in a strange new land where everything seemed strange and incomprehensible, but there would be no time to rest. The next day, a Mongolian couple came to the house and Rinpoche was told they had driven up from Howell, New Jersey. Introduced to Rinpoche as Dana and Boris Bugayeff, Rinpoche was told that the couple he had met just moments ago were his real parents and that he was to call them ‘mother’ and ‘father’.

Dewa Nimbo (left) and Dechen Minh (right)

While uncertainties and capriciousness have marked Rinpoche’s life all these years, the shock of being thrown from one set of parents to another, and from one home to another, was too much for him and he resisted saying, “No, they’re not my parents. I don’t know who they are.” But Dechen Minh was firm and insisted the boy accept his new family, and to greet his new mother and father. With no emotional connection to these people he had just met, the small boy found it very hard to just call them ‘mother’ and ‘father’. Though lost and confused and very afraid, Rinpoche obeyed anyway.

And so, just like that, Rinpoche was again packed off into a car, a huge Ford LTD, and he was driven back to New Jersey. There he was, a child amongst strangers, living with a Mongolian couple and their daughter who had suddenly become his family. ‘Siaw Niu’ was now ‘Burcha’, named after his new father Boris (‘Boris’ being the Westernized version of the Mongolian name ‘Burcha’). In a matter of days, he had gone from being a Chinese-speaking boy in Taipei to being a Mongolian child with a foreign name, whose parents were in reality strangers, speaking a language the boy could not understand. No one had asked what such upheavals would do to the mind of a child and it would appear, no one cared. From that moment, the boy Burcha Bugayeff had to live in yet another forced reality.

Rinpoche as a young boy with the Bugayeffs, Dana and Boris Bugayeff with daughter Lidshma

Once in a while, the nice lady whom Rinpoche had met in Philadelphia, Dewa Nimbo would come and visit him in Howell, New Jersey. The boy who was now known as Burcha just couldn’t figure out who she was and why she would come visit him. Also, Rinpoche’s grandmother, Dechen Minh visited him frequently. In the meantime, Dewa Nimbo told Burcha that she was his aunt and that Burcha’s grandmother Dechen Minh was his mother. It was not only painfully difficult but also extremely unnerving for the young Rinpoche to work out who his real mother was – the lady in Taipei who was his caretaker, his grandmother Dechen Minh as Dewa Nimbo had told him, or this new Mongolian lady, Dana Bugayeff whom Dechen Minh had insisted was his mother. And who was Dewa Nimbo anyway and why was it that others were so eager to claim that another was his mother, as if everyone could be his mother and yet none was confidently his mother?

Dana and Boris Bugayeff (left) with Dechen Minh (right)

To Burcha, none of that made any sense and he could not work out who his real mother was, and why Dechen Minh who was supposed to be his grandmother was not in fact related to the Bugayeffs, supposedly his real parents. If all this complexity sounds disturbing, one shudders to think how it affected the mind of a child at a time when he needed stable foundations to develop. It was all very confusing and those around the young boy continued to subject Burcha to live his life amidst lies and deception. Being a powerless child, Rinpoche had to accept what the adults told him. Although it unsettled his mind greatly Rinpoche behaved himself well and pretended that his new environment was normal. But that was not the end of the trauma as more rude shocks awaited the boy.

One day, a few years later, after Rinpoche had grown accustomed to these new surroundings and the myriad circumstances and changes that dominated his life, he was dealt another devastating blow. One day when Rinpoche was in one of his cousin, Tsagan’s house Rinpoche and the other kids were playing when he had a little argument with Tsagan. After a few childish exchanges, Tsagan in her anger blurted, “You’re only adopted and they [Dana and Boris Bugayeff] are not your family.” That shocked and hurt Rinpoche very much and his mind went blank. After having endured years of unsettling confusion and finding a place in the chaos to survive within, Rinpoche’s world was crushed again. Just when Rinpoche the boy had allowed himself to believe that the Bugayeffs were his real parents that was taken from him yet again.

H.E. Tsem Rinpoche’s biological mother in the red sitting next to Rinpoche’s beloved cousin Gaga Toktun

The young boy who was Rinpoche was only 10 or 11 years old and it had been very difficult for him growing up being unsure all his life who his parents were and what to believe, and what aspects his life were truth and what were lies. What cousin Tsagan said shocked and hurt him, but things were becoming clear to him. Rinpoche wanted to know the truth but no one would tell him much except for a cousin he was close to and whom he loved very much, Toktun. He had constantly asked Gaga Toktun (‘Gaga’ being Mongolian for Auntie or elder cousin), “Are we really family? Who am I?” and she would tell Burcha little bits and pieces of information. She was careful in what she said because she did love the boy and wanted to protect his mind.

Finally, one day after the incident with Tsagan, Gaga Toktun finally told Rinpoche gently that Queen Dechen Minh was his grandmother and the nice lady he liked, Dewa Nimbo was in fact his mother. A lot of things began to make sense, like why Dewa Nimbo would visit him and why things were the way they were. Rinpoche had been told the truth but that did nothing to soothe the hurt knowing that his real mother didn’t want him.

Dewa Nimbo continued to visit Rinpoche and even though he already knew who she was, he had to pretend that he didn’t. There were times when Dewa Nimbo brought Rinpoche to her home in Philadelphia. Rinpoche remembers those moments very fondly and even though a lot still didn’t make sense to him, Rinpoche knew in his heart that this lady whom he was very fond of and admired was his real mother. Simply knowing that there was a person whom in Rinpoche’s eyes was beautiful, intelligent, educated and real, made Rinpoche very proud and valued for a change and that filled his heart with joy. Over time, Rinpoche got closer to Dewa Nimbo and although he knew who she truly was, he continued to greet her as ‘Auntie Dewa’. It was enough that he was able to spend precious time with her.

Dewa Nimbo, H.E. Tsem Rinpoche’s biological mother

In the years Rinpoche grew from a little child by the name of ‘Siaw Niu’ to become a teenager called Burcha Bugayeff, he had developed a growing passion for Buddhism and when other kids were playing with toys and make-believe heroes, Burcha was totally fascinated with the Buddha’s teachings, images of Tibetan Buddhist deities and prayers and meditations. What was uncanny about Rinpoche’s intense draw to Buddhism was that no one taught him and instilled in him that passion. Somehow Rinpoche just knew. The zeal and devotion to the Dharma seemed to be innate in Rinpoche from young and it was unquenchable even if it meant that Rinpoche was in constant risk of being beaten up and berated by his parents who had other ambitions for him. The irony was that from a young child who was uncared for, roaming the streets of Taipei, Rinpoche could now have a comfortable life and a family that would provide for all Rinpoche’s needs and yet, all he dreamed of and craved for, was the Dharma.

What was equally unexplainable was how Rinpoche had somehow found his way to live in close proximity to some of the most qualified and erudite Tibetan Buddhist lamas of the time, as if a divine plot was afoot. In the pursuit of his love the Dharma, Rinpoche suffered tremendously as his adopted parents would at times go to extreme measures to stop him from practicing the Dharma. They saw Rinpoche’s love for Buddhism as an end to the plans and purpose they had for their son. Many times in the young Rinpoche’s life he would be mercilessly beaten by his mother for engaging in any form of Dharma activities. Caught helplessly between the weight of a very tumultuous life and compounded by the way his adoptive parents would violently refuse his deep need for the Dharma, Rinpoche considered many times to end his life. In the end, Rinpoche would decide to give up the only home and the only stable family he had known after a lifetime of rejection, leaving this relative stability to find a life in Dharma. To have the Dharma, to be able to gaze at the holy images of the Buddhas, to be able to utter the holy mantras and to be able to engage in the prayers, meant more to Rinpoche than all the comforts and pleasures of the world.

H.E. Tsem Rinpoche’s biological mother as a young girl, in a picture with a family friend and Rinpoche’s grandmother (right)

Dewa Nimbo and Rinpoche continued to stay in contact over the years and talked about many things, writing frequently to one another. Rinpoche learned that his mother was a direct student of a very great Mongolian lama by the name of Sogpu Rinpoche, also lovingly known as Guru Deva Rinpoche. Tibetans called him ‘Sogpu Rinpoche’ which means the ‘Rinpoche of the Mongols’ but like many Mongolians, Rinpoche’s mother referred to him as ‘Guru Deva’, which means ‘Teacher of the Gods’, which was a very respectful name. Rinpoche didn’t know it then but Guru Deva Rinpoche would one day play a significant hand in changing the course of his life.

Many years passed and when Rinpoche was around 21 or 22 years of age, he went to Indianapolis to attend a teaching by his Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama. Indianapolis was also where Dewa Nimbo, Rinpoche’s real mother, lived. By then the young man known as Burcha Bugayeff had also decided to become a monk. Rinpoche called Dewa Nimbo over the telephone and asked to meet with her as he was going to go to India soon and didn’t know when he would see her again. At first Rinpoche’s mother agreed to meet but she changed her mind at the last minute, citing some urgent other engagements. Having become accustomed to disappointments, Rinpoche had no choice but to accept the situation.

But Dewa Nimbo then said something to Rinpoche that would prove to be fortuitous. She said, “You’re going to India, you’re going to Nepal and it’s quite far away and you’ll be alone but if you need any help, if you need any assistance, if you’re in trouble in any way, go contact Guru Deva Rinpoche and tell him that Dewa Nimbo said so.” Rinpoche had no idea then that her advice would impact on his life profoundly. He was just glad that his mother had said what she did because to Rinpoche, that meant that she cared for him and wanted him to be well and safe. That was the last time Rinpoche spoke with his natural mom. He went to India after that to fulfill a promise made to his root guru Kyabje Zong Rinpoche to become a monk.

Kyabje Zong Rinpoche cutting H.E. Tsem Rinpoche’s hair as indication of accepting Rinpoche’s promise to be a monk

When Burcha was 22 years old, he was ordained by His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama and was given the name Tenzin Zopa. The year was 1987. After that, Rinpoche made a trip to Nepal and whilst there, he decided to seek an audience with Guru Deva Rinpoche, his mother’s teacher. Arrangements were made and finally when they met, Rinpoche was pleasantly surprised to find that this great lama was extremely friendly, very good-humored and welcoming. They conversed in Mongolian which Rinpoche was already proficient in by then, having lived amongst the Kalmyk Mongolian community in Howell.

To Rinpoche, meeting Guru Deva Rinpoche was an honor because the senior lama was a very accomplished master who had the merits to study under and held the lineage of the most learned and realized grandmasters of Tibetan Buddhism at the time – Kyabje Pabongka Rinpoche, Kyabje Yongzin Trijang Rinpoche and Kyabje Yongzin Ling Rinpoche. Guru Deva Rinpoche had also been instrumental in the re-establishment of Lama Tsongkhapa’s lineage in India. But Rinpoche thought nothing more of that auspicious meeting and soon after, Rinpoche hurried south to India, where life as an ordinary monk awaited him in Gaden Monastery.

Gaden Shartse Monastery in Mundgod, South India

Gaden Monastery was impoverished and Rinpoche and the monks had very little to eat – very little rice, very little bread and there were some days when they didn’t even have food. On those days, Rinpoche would be content eating just flour rolled in tea. Poverty was simply a fact of life and even though Rinpoche was extremely poor, he was very happy to be there. It was a journey that began a long time ago in the heart and mind of a very young boy that ended in Gaden, the holy institution of the Second Buddha, Lama Tsongkhapa. There was nothing else Rinpoche desired and he didn’t care about the poor conditions at all. A lot of the time, the monks didn’t have electricity supply and getting water was just as difficult. Often they had to draw water from the ground with manual pumps.

Despite starvation and being poverty-stricken, H.E. Tsem Rinpoche was dedicated to his practice and learning in Gaden Monastery

With food being scarce as well, Rinpoche also lost a lot of weight and yet nothing could diminish the joy in Rinpoche’s heart. He was exactly where he had longed to be and what was more important, Rinpoche was fulfilling a promise he made to his beloved Guru, Zong Rinpoche, even though Zong Rinpoche was no longer there. If ever there was a need to ask what kind of a person, what kind of a monk was Tsem Rinpoche, the answer was there being played out for all to see. Rinpoche was and still is the kind of person who would give up everything, all comforts and leisures, and all the assurances that people desperately seek for all their lives, in order to fulfill a promise. Rinpoche was a monk whose life epitomized the Dharma even before the robes touched his skin. Why else would a man leave behind what would have been a good life to be in a monastery, starving and with no regrets?

Nevertheless, poverty was a very harsh reality and Rinpoche continued to languish under the terrible conditions. After being there for three to four years, Rinpoche was in strife and literally starving. It was around 1991 when Rinpoche remembered what his mother said to him a few years before – that should he needed any help, he was to call Guru Deva in her name. So, in desperation, Rinpoche wrote a letter to Guru Deva Rinpoche and explained his dire situation. Rinpoche requested for Guru Deva Rinpoche’s help to find a sponsor so that he could buy food and supplies, soap and other basics. It was a shot in the dark and Rinpoche had no way of knowing if Guru Deva Rinpoche would respond, if he would or could help, or if the letter would even reach Guru Deva Rinpoche. Rinpoche dared not hope too much.

But about a month later a telegram arrived for Rinpoche, which conveyed this urgent message from Guru Deva:

“Come to Nepal as soon as possible. Immediately. Come now.”

Guru Deva Rinpoche had replied but Rinpoche’s situation was so desperate than the telegram created another predicament. On the one hand, Rinpoche needed help very badly and had to explore every opportunity. Yet he didn’t even have money for the basic necessities, let alone to make his way to Nepal in response to a somewhat cryptic telegram. Lost, Rinpoche consulted his teacher, Lati Rinpoche who was the Abbot Emeritus of Gaden Shartse. Rinpoche requested Lati Rinpoche for divination because Rinpoche had to know if he should go to Nepal, which was going to take a lot of time, effort and money, which he didn’t have.

Lati Rinpoche did the divination with three dice, which returned with a firm result. Years later, Rinpoche would recount Lati Rinpoche’s fateful advice:

“Whatever your obstacle is, whatever your problem is, whatever you’re finding difficult to get to Nepal, forget about it, overcome it, borrow the money. Go to Nepal. It will be very good for you. Good news will come. Don’t miss it.”

In effect, Lati Rinpoche told Rinpoche to go to Nepal at any costs. Rinpoche trusted Lati Rinpoche; to him, the result of Lati Rinpoche’s divination was nothing short of divine clairvoyance. But still Rinpoche didn’t have the money to travel so he went to Kensur Rinpoche Jampa Yeshe, who was Rinpoche’s teacher as well as the Abbot incumbent of the monastery. Rinpoche sought from Kensur Rinpoche permission to leave the monastery and a loan of 5,000 rupees, which was a lot of money at the time. With that Rinpoche went to Nepal.

H.E. Tsem Rinpoche with Kyabje Lati Rinpoche

Guru Deva Rinpoche’s residence was a three- or four-storey house just off the world famous Boudhanath Stupa. Upon arrival, Rinpoche was given a special room by Guru Deva Rinpoche’s assistant Tenzin Drakpa. It had been a few years since Rinpoche met Guru Deva Rinpoche and by that time Rinpoche’s Mongolian had degenerated considerably and his Tibetan was only slightly better. So Rinpoche related his problems to Guru Deva Rinpoche in broken Mongolian and very basic Tibetan but somehow they managed to communicate.

What Guru Deva Rinpoche said to Rinpoche moved him very much. Guru Deva Rinpoche said, “In a few days’ time, I’m going to introduce you to a sponsor. This sponsor, if you act well and behave well, will take care of all your needs, and take care of all your finances and be very good to you. And this sponsor is wealthy and he is one of my sponsors too.”

In that instant, Guru Deva Rinpoche showed himself to be the incredibly generous and selfless lama he was. It was not easy to find a sponsor and yet there was Guru Deva Rinpoche who hardly knew Rinpoche but was willing to give to Rinpoche one of his own. But that was precisely the calibre of lama Guru Deva Rinpoche was. The great three pillars of the Gelug lineage – Gaden, Sera and Drepung Monasteries – managed to re-establish themselves after the 1959 Tibetan exodus, due in no small part to Guru Deva Rinpoche’s contribution and generosity.

Guru Deva Rinpoche gave Rinpoche more information about this sponsor. His name was Lobsang Gyatso and he was a wealthy Tibetan man who also sponsored Guru Deva Rinpoche. Guru Deva Rinpoche had dispatched that urgent telegram because Mr Gyatso was coming to Nepal and Rinpoche could not miss this chance to meet him. But Guru Deva Rinpoche warned that this sponsor was not easily fooled and that Rinpoche would have to work hard impress him.

In the days that followed and whilst waiting for Mr Gyatso to arrive, Rinpoche kept company with Guru Deva Rinpoche and discovered, to Rinpoche’s delight, that this great lama was in fact very humorous. Rinpoche remembers Guru Deva Rinpoche fondly as a lama who “told [me] very interesting stories and he was very direct, very funny, extremely witty and had very funny facial expressions. After he said something he would look at you in such a way that you would just have to burst out laughing. He was so entertaining, very warm, and was just like everyone’s gentle and loving grandfather and at the same time he was a really great lama.” In the years that followed Rinpoche would recall with great affection the time he spent with this exceptional lama but as Rinpoche would soon discover, beyond the kindness and friendship and mentoring of Guru Deva Rinpoche, he would owe Guru Deva Rinpoche much more.

Mr Lobsang Gyatso (right) with His Holiness the 10th Panchen Lama

Anyway, after two or three days, Mr Lobsang Gyatso arrived and on first impression, he was a regular Tibetan man of medium height, with strong features and very penetrating eyes. Guru Deva Rinpoche urged Rinpoche to spend time with Mr Gyatso and for them to become acquainted.

Mr Gyatso asked about Rinpoche’s background and who Rinpoche’s mother was. After surviving years of doubts about his parentage, the uncertainties emerged yet again to prick Rinpoche. Rinpoche answered honestly that he didn’t know. The sponsor asked Rinpoche who his father was, and Rinpoche told Mr Gyatso that he has never met his father and never known his father. Rinpoche could only say, “Honestly Mr Gyatso, I don’t even know what race I am. I don’t know if I am Chinese, Mongolian or Tibetan and I have no idea because nobody will tell me who my parents are.”

And the conversation went on like that. Then Mr Gyatso asked Rinpoche a strange question, “What if you knew who your father was, what would you do?” Rinpoche was taken aback because not only had he not thought of that question before, having accepted he would never know whom his parents truly are, but it was also not common for strangers to ask. But Rinpoche thought about the question and answered from his heart that if Rinpoche was lucky enough to ever know who his real father was, Rinpoche would visit him often, speak to him like a loving son would his father, find reasons to be proud of him and protect the relationship with his father. Mostly, Rinpoche would just love him as Rinpoche’s father. If Rinpoche’s answer was swift and eloquent, it was because that had been the great wish of a boy who grew to become a man and then a monk, and that wish had been played out in Rinpoche’s innermost thoughts for years. Mr Gyatso, in between his cigarettes, considered Rinpoche’s answer carefully and just said, “Ok” and that was that.

After that, Mr Gyatso asked what Rinpoche intended to do and Rinpoche replied, “Well, I intend to go to Gaden to study. And I want to do retreats, and I’m living with a very great lama, you know, and I have a great teacher there. My root teacher has passed away but his student, Kensur Rinpoche is my teacher, and I’m very fortunate.” Mr Gyatso further asked, “What do you want, what do you want now?” to which Rinpoche replied that he needed some sponsorship and assistance to get robes, necessities such as food and medical treatment, and money to travel to attend teachings in Dharamsala and other monasteries.

Mr Gyatso simply said, “Ok. Well, you be a good monk, you study well and I’ll send you money every month.” Hearing that was a great relief to Rinpoche and at the same time Rinpoche felt a deep sense of gratitude towards Mr Gyatso. Although he did not specify how much he was willing to sponsor Rinpoche, in Rinpoche’s mind whatever Mr Gyatso was willing to give would be a great help. Just as he was as a child, Rinpoche was thankful for every little thing that was offered to him.

Mr Lobsang Gyatso (right) with His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama

Over the course of the next few days Rinpoche became more acquainted with Mr Gyatso and learned that he was originally from Golok in the Amdo area of Tibet. Rinpoche also learned that when Mr Gyatso was very young he had journeyed to Trehor where he lived during his adult years. Later Mr Gyatso was a monk from Drepung Monastery and served Trungsar Rinpoche as his assistant. Much later on he began travelling and subsequently disrobed, got married and had a wife, two sons and a daughter. He continued to serve Trungsar Rinpoche as his sponsor. Mr Gyatso also had a school in Taiwan that taught Tibetan language and culture, which resulted in his close relationship with His Holiness the Dalai Lama because the Dalai Lama wanted very much to preserve Tibetan culture.

Around the time when Guru Deva Rinpoche introduced Rinpoche to Mr Gyatso, it was nearing Losar, the Tibetan New Year and Guru Deva Rinpoche’s household was abuzz with activities and preparation. One day Mr Gyatso gave Rinpoche 5,000 rupees as a gift, which was a lot of money at that time. Rinpoche in fact needed the money but felt that he should first use the sponsorship to express his gratitude to the people he had just met and had been kind towards him. Rinpoche spent about 3,000 rupees and bought gifts for Guru Deva Rinpoche, his assistant Tenzin Drakpa and his wife, and also gifts for Mr Lobsang Gyatso. Rinpoche planned to present the gifts to them on New Year’s Day as a surprise. Incidentally while Rinpoche was in Nepal, Kyabje Gangchen Rinpoche was also staying nearby so Rinpoche went to visit his teacher. Rinpoche updated Gangchen Rinpoche about exactly what had happened, and Gangchen Rinpoche was clearly very happy that Rinpoche had found a sponsor.

H.E. Tsem Rinpoche with Kyabje Gangchen Rinpoche

Losar came around and the first thing Rinpoche did that morning was to hurry to Gangchen Rinpoche’s house where he made prostrations and offerings. Rinpoche then returned to Guru Deva Rinpoche’s house, prepared his gifts and proceeded to Guru Deva Rinpoche’s room. There were queues of people waiting to see Guru Deva Rinpoche to receive Losar blessings. Rinpoche remembers the day very distinctively and recalled that Guru Deva Rinpoche was sitting on his throne. Opposite Guru Deva Rinpoche, with his back against the wall, was Rinpoche’s new sponsor Mr Lobsang Gyatso. Rinpoche made three prostrations to Guru Deva Rinpoche, made a mandala offering then presented the simple gifts that he had bought. Rinpoche then stood up to leave, so that Guru Deva Rinpoche could continue with meeting everyone who was queuing up. As Rinpoche was about to leave Guru Deva Rinpoche motioned Rinpoche to sit down, and indicated that he had something to tell Rinpoche.

Sogpu Rinpoche, or Guru Deva Rinpoche

What Guru Deva Rinpoche said that morning had such a great impact that even more than 20 years later, Rinpoche remembers Guru Deva Rinpoche’s words almost verbatim. Guru Deva Rinpoche said, “A long time ago your father was already married, then your father met your mother in Taiwan and they were interested in each other, and they did something in the middle of the night and you were produced.” Guru Deva Rinpoche said those words very gently in Tibetan in his grandfatherly way and told Rinpoche the truth that had eluded Rinpoche all his life – Rinpoche’s father was already married when he met Dewa Nimbo, Rinpoche’s real mother and they conceived Rinpoche. Because Rinpoche’s father was already married, they could not be together and that shattered Rinpoche’s mother who left for America after giving birth to Rinpoche, leaving him behind in Taiwan. To Rinpoche’s mother, the blameless infant was a reminder of his father’s deception and Rinpoche’s very existence became a symbol of Dewa Nimbo’s shame.

Guru Deva Rinpoche told Rinpoche that Rinpoche’s parents had made a mistake which they regretted and instead of harbouring ill will, he should move on with his life. But all of that was just a precursor to what Guru Deva Rinpoche really wanted to say to Rinpoche, which was that the man seated behind Rinpoche against the wall was Rinpoche’s father!

Rinpoche turned around and there was Mr Lobsang Gyatso who a few moments ago were his sponsor and suddenly he was the father Rinpoche had not known until that moment. A barrage of thoughts rammed Rinpoche’s mind and he was immobilized in the shock.

A significant part of Rinpoche was dying to believe the news. Rinpoche had spent an entire childhood right until that moment looking for his father. Yet, another big part of Rinpoche dared not believe, after being told a few times who his parents were only to learn later that they weren’t his real parents. Those short-lived moments of deceptive joy had hurt Rinpoche tremendously and he just couldn’t bring himself to believe it. Rinpoche froze and looked at Guru Deva Rinpoche, who then said to Rinpoche, “Aren’t you going to turn around and say “Losar Tashi Delek” (Happy New Year) to your dad?”

And when Rinpoche turned around and looked at the man who was his father and saw how he was trembling uncontrollably and had tears running down his face, Rinpoche knew that the man he had known as Mr Lobsang Gyatso was his real father as those were tears of a parent for a child. Just like that, the man whose mistake had caused Rinpoche to be an unwanted child, and to be shunned as an embarrassment, and to be moved about without much regard, and forced to grow up in an abusive environment, and whose misdeed had led to countless maltreatment being inflicted upon an innocent child, was before Rinpoche. No one could have blamed Rinpoche if he had shown some anger for over 20 years of pain and yet Rinpoche just got up from his seat, went up to his father and embraced him lovingly. In Rinpoche’s mind he had found his real father after all these years of wondering and hoping and disappointments. As Rinpoche’s father hugged Rinpoche, he said to Rinpoche, “Please forgive me.” In the 20 years, a lot of emotions had welled up and now finally it was a time of release as Rinpoche’s father asked forgiveness for the years that he didn’t take care of Rinpoche. Rinpoche’s father cried and cried but he also didn’t want Rinpoche to see him in that state and after a while he gathered himself and said, “Ok, ok…you go now…”

All this happened before Guru Deva Rinpoche who looked at Rinpoche with a smile on his face and indicated that Rinpoche should leave the room now and that he would see Rinpoche later. As Rinpoche stepped out, Tenzin Drakpa’s wife asked, “Are you happy that you met your father?” Rinpoche said, “Yes” and Rinpoche was truly happy.

Mr Lobsang Gyatso with his family in Taiwan

But it was also a lot of emotions to take in for one day after a lifetime of wondering who Rinpoche’s real parents were. When Rinpoche got to his room, he was finally completely overwhelmed and Rinpoche cried. Rinpoche cried and then washed his face, and cried again and in all the time not really knowing what to think. In his heart he was overjoyed and yet Rinpoche was very afraid that someone was going to come along and take this joy and relief away and tell him that the whole thing had been a mistake or a lie. As a child, Rinpoche was told that he had one set of parents in Taiwan, and that his guardians were his parents. Then later, Rinpoche was told that they were not and he was whisked off to America where suddenly he had another set of parents, but was later yet again told that they were not his real parents. Now, after all the turbulence, finally Rinpoche knew his real father and again, became afraid someone would come along and take that away too. It is difficult to comprehend the fear and anxiety that plagued Rinpoche all his life.

Rinpoche stayed in Guru Deva Rinpoche’s house for another two or three days. In that time Rinpoche and his father talked and ate together. Rinpoche called his father ‘Pa-la’ (Tibetan for father), and Mr Gyatso showed him pictures of his other two sons and his daughter, Rinpoche’s half-brothers and sister. One of Rinpoche’s half-brothers looked exactly like Rinpoche as if they were twins. Later, when this particular brother visited Rinpoche in Gaden, everybody would say to Rinpoche “Hey, your brother’s here.”

H.E. Tsem Rinpoche with his brother, one of Mr Lobsang Gyatso’s sons, Puntsok

Finally after spending a few more precious days with his father, Rinpoche’s father told him that it was time to return to Gaden, saying, “Go back to your studies and be a good monk and don’t waste time here.” Rinpoche’s dad said that he would stay in touch with Rinpoche and that he will go to Gaden to visit, and that he will always take care of Rinpoche. Then he gave Rinpoche another 5,000 rupees, which Rinpoche was thankful for because he could now repay the loan he took from Kensur Rinpoche to travel to Nepal. It had been an eventful time but it was now time for Rinpoche to resume his studies in the monastery. Rinpoche said goodbye to Guru Deva Rinpoche and left.

H.E. Tsem Rinpoche with His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama (centre) and Kensur Rinpoche Jampa Yeshe (right)

A few months after that, Rinpoche was recognized to be an reincarnate lama and received a chakdak (seal of recognition) from the Oracle as well as His Holiness the Dalai Lama’s approval for the Abbot, Kensur Rinpoche Jampa Yeshe to enthrone Rinpoche. As Rinpoche’s father had promised he would, he visited the monastery to see Rinpoche’s living conditions. He also sponsored the entire enthronement ceremony as per tradition – offering of tea and bread to all the monks in the monastery, a set of gifts to the monastery itself and an offering to Phukhang Khangtsen, which was the house Rinpoche belonged to in Gaden. In addition, Rinpoche received from his father enough money to build Tsem Ladrang, a new house for the newly enthroned Rinpoche, which still stands in Gaden today. From then on, Rinpoche’s father took care of his needs every month.

H.E. Tsem Rinpoche on the day of his enthronement, sponsored by his father Lobsang Gyatso

A few months after that, Rinpoche’s brother from Taiwan visited Rinpoche. From him, Rinpoche learned that their family had been looking for Rinpoche for many years and had finally found him. Those words meant very much to Rinpoche; for once in his life, after years of being lied to about his real parentage, those who were really his family had actually been concerned all along for his wellbeing. And to think that the joy and closure Rinpoche experienced came about because of Guru Deva Rinpoche’s kind-heartedness.

It was only because of this very kind and giving lama that a huge void in Rinpoche’s life was finally filled and Rinpoche was able to learn the truth about his parents, his roots and family. Not knowing had been very unsettling for Rinpoche growing up and for the longest time, it seemed like Rinpoche’s existence lacked legitimacy. Now that wound was finally closed. Because of a very generous lama who had sought to connect Rinpoche with Rinpoche’s father even though he did not know Rinpoche very well and was never obligated to Rinpoche in any way, Rinpoche finally had family and a sponsor and with that, Rinpoche was able to alleviate the struggles he had been facing. Throughout all his giving, Guru Deva Rinpoche never once asked for anything in return.

Tsem Rinpoche on enthronment day with Drepung Gomang Hutuktu Telopa Rinpoche of Kalmykia, who is also Tsem Rinpoche’s cousin

Reading Tsem Rinpoche’s account of his experience with Guru Deva Rinpoche, I saw how kind Guru Deva Rinpoche was, and how generous and extremely giving he was, only wanting good things to happen for others. Rinpoche’s story of Guru Deva Rinpoche also spoke clearly of his tremendous guru devotion. When Rinpoche was with this great and kind lama, Guru Deva Rinpoche would speak gently about his beloved teacher Kyabje Trijang Rinpoche and Guru Deva Rinpoche would immediately be in tears at the mere memory of his teacher. Guru Deva Rinpoche would always fold his hands, and his voice would become softer, and he would be very reverential whenever he uttered Trijang Rinpoche’s name.

In the years that followed, Rinpoche would learn from other eminent lamas of Guru Deva Rinpoche’s very high incarnation, his renown for being an emanation of Gyenze (the increase form of Dorje Shugden) and his unwavering devotion to Trijang Rinpoche. Rinpoche learned how Guru Deva Rinpoche had printed thousands upon thousands of rare textbooks for Gaden, Sera and Drepung, and also sponsored huge statues and gatherings for teachings by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and other great teachers. Guru Deva Rinpoche has also taken care of many poor and ordinary monks, as well as the needs of Gaden, Sera, and Drepung. In Tsem Rinpoche’s story we see a great lama in Guru Deva Rinpoche who was extremely learned and kind, and at the same time very devoted to his teacher.

Tsem Ladrang in Gaden Monastery, South India

Still, in Tsem Rinpoche’s opinion no words can fully do justice to all that Guru Deva Rinpoche did in his life and which is beyond the description of mere words. For sure, Guru Deva Rinpoche was an exceptional lama and Rinpoche, like many in the world, owe a debt they feel they can never repay. Such is the magnitude and scale of assistance Guru Deva had offered them.

Kyabje Trijang Rinpoche, the teacher of many great masters in our era, who was also the junior tutor of His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama.

In the subsequent years, Rinpoche met Guru Deva Rinpoche again a few more times. Later, Guru Deva Rinpoche moved to Mongolia and after that, Rinpoche did not see the great lama again. Rinpoche learned that Guru Deva Rinpoche passed away at 100 years old, physically old but his mind very clear and lucid.

What is equally remarkable is how Tsem Rinpoche emerged from a childhood of torment and anguish and instead of becoming bitter and angry, took all the pain he endured and turned them into realizations of everyone’s personal pain. That in turn filled Rinpoche with a great wish to heal everyone’s misery. In a harsh world that naturally cultivates self-preservation and fosters innate distrust and defence mechanisms, Rinpoche somehow turned all his bitter experiences turned into food for his practice, as the scriptures tell us is what Bodhisattvas do. For me, I have read volumes of biographies of high lamas and I cannot recall reading similar stories where a lama has had to overcome so many obstacles and give up so incredibly much to bring the Dharma to the people. Tsem Rinpoche’s story reminds me of a phrase that is often used to describe how we are supposed to be in our Dharma walk – “Like a lotus flower that grows out of the mud and blossoms above the muddy water surface, we can rise above our defilements and sufferings of life”. Tsem Rinpoche has lived his entire life and continues to, in attestation to this wise counsel as if to show everyone, it can be done.

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纪念古鲁迪瓦仁波切

文 / 曹铭光

在尊贵的詹杜固仁波切身边的时光总是充满了乐趣。仁波切会使用各种方式来让我们看清自己的心识，使得那不仅是一个极佳的学习机会，也是一个增进感情和进行性格重塑的时刻。 仁波切总会让这种时刻充满欢乐和笑声。 他常会跟我们分享许多故事，而当他分享自己的个人经历时，仿佛开启了一道神奇的门户，让我们能近距离观察，宛如身历其境地面对仁波切所遭遇过的人、事和境。 仁波切所讲述的众多故事中，我最喜欢的其中一个，就是关于古鲁迪瓦仁波切的故事。

索普仁波切，或称古鲁迪瓦仁波切。

古鲁迪瓦仁波切的故事是一个关于慷慨、无私付出的非一般故事。 这是一个讲述一位伟大的西藏上师如何以慈悲改变我们的上师——詹杜固仁波切的生命的故事。 我们今天有幸遇到詹杜固仁波切，让仁波切成为我们生命中最重要的一个人，古鲁迪瓦仁波切在各方面的巨大贡献功不可没。 然而，这当中还有一段故事，对描述今日作为我们上师的这个人之特质十分重要。 故事讲述了詹杜固仁波切在面对艰苛环境时所表现出来的勇气、力量、温和、希望和慈悲，而多数人若遭遇同样的处境时往往都会崩溃和为自己找寻各种失败的借口，并变得充满怨气和恐惧。 古鲁迪瓦仁波切的故事既是上天的眷顾，也显示了詹杜固仁波切对佛法的爱与信任。到了今天，仁波切这种对佛法的爱与信任已经成为引领许多人远离娑婆的指路明灯。

然而，要了解古鲁迪瓦仁波切的故事，你首先必须知道促使詹杜固仁波切与古鲁迪瓦仁波切相遇的背后原因。

年幼时的詹杜固仁波切就住在台湾。

每当有人问起仁波切他最初的记忆时，仁波切总会说他最早的记忆是当自己还是一个名叫“小牛”的小男孩时，独自走在台湾，或更确切地说是台北的一个街头前往理发时的情景。小牛就读的学校规定每一个学生都要剪平头，所以每当需要理发的时候，小牛当时所以为的父母就会给他一些刚好足够他理发的零钱，让他自己上街理发。事实上，小牛在台湾的“父母”只不过是受雇照顾他的人而已。对他们而言，年幼的仁波切不过只是一项工作，所以他们也仅只会完成雇佣范围内所需完成的工作而已。

我们今天所认识的詹杜固仁波切，这位全球许多人都信赖和依止的上师，曾经以小牛这个没人要的小男孩的身份在台北街头游荡和成长。年幼时期的仁波切没有很多玩具、衣服、爱护与关注。仁波切记得自己小时候最期待的是一位老妇人不定期的到访。这位名叫蒂倩明的妇人每次到访，必会给小牛带来糖果、新衣和玩具，而那也是年幼的仁波切唯一感受到爱与关怀的时刻。仁波切被告知这个妇人是他的外婆，但作为一名小孩，他还不明白这背后的含义。仁波切同样也不知道蒂倩明其实是一位皇后，而他自己也拥有蒙古皇室血统。

尊贵的詹杜固仁波切与蒂倩明。

有一天，蒂倩明到访时告诉仁波切：“我们将到美国去。”她并没有解释他们去美国的原因，也没说明他到那里去的用意。仁波切当时只是一个六岁大的小男孩，对美国完全没概念，也无法有任何打算。然而，由于蒂倩明许多次探望他时都慈悲待他，且给他带来许多欢乐，他们之间已经建立了温馨和密切的关系，所以他也愿意听从蒂倩明的安排。尽管如此，仁波切对自己必须与监护人分开这件事感到难过。他们对他并不好，有些人甚至说他们待他的方式相当残忍，但仁波切却依然把他们当父母看待。仁波切自小就十分珍惜他人所给予的任何一点恩惠，这种特质一直陪伴着他长大，直到他成为一位大家都熟悉的博爱众生、不怀恨和不记怨的人。

蒂倩明带着仁波切乘坐泛美航空班机飞往美国。仁波切在途中睡着了，醒来时已经抵达美国这个全新的地方。就这样，他至此所熟悉的生活、地方、人物都已经成为过去，等待着他的是一个充满未知数的未来。

到了美国，蒂倩明带着仁波切来到一个位于费城的女士家里。这位名叫蒂娃宁波的女士有一位丈夫和两个孩子。蒂倩明告诉仁波切说，这位女士是她女儿，但仁波切当时由于太年幼，并无法将婆婆、蒂娃宁波和自己之间的关系联系起来。对他而言，那是一个全新的地方，一切都很陌生和难以理解，但他并没有喘一口气。第二天，来自新泽西州豪威尔市，一对名叫妲娜和波斯·布珈雅的蒙古夫妇出现了。在毫无预警的情况下，仁波切被告知这对他才认识不久的夫妇其实就是他的亲生父母，而他必须称呼他们为“爸爸”和“妈妈”。

蒂娃宁波（左）与蒂倩明（右）。

尽管这些年来仁波切的生命早已充满了随机和变数，但从一个家庭被送到另一个家庭，从一对父母换成另一对父母的打击，对仁波切而言依然是太大的冲击，他一时之间无法接受，说到：“不，他们并不是我的父母，我不知道他们是什么人。”然而，蒂倩明态度坚决，坚持要小男孩接受他的新家庭，还要他跟自己的新父母打招呼。仁波切不过是一名小男孩，他不认识这些人，对他们也没有丝毫情感，却突然必须认他们为自己的父母，而要开口称呼他们为“爸爸”和“妈妈”也让仁波切感到十分为难。他感到迷失和困惑，同时也十分害怕，但他还是顺从了。

就这样，年幼的仁波切收拾了包袱进入车里，他记得那是一辆大型福特LTD房车，接着就被送往新泽西，一个他即将被一大群陌生人围绕的地方。这个由一对蒙古夫妇和一个女儿组成的家庭，转眼就成了他的新家庭。他们为他取了一个新名字，叫布尔查·布珈雅。这名字取自其新父亲波斯·布珈雅的蒙古名（波斯为蒙古名“布尔查”的西方版本）。在几天内，“小牛”从一个原本说中文的台北小男孩，突然变成了拥有“布尔查”这个外籍名字的蒙古孩子，而他的新父母则突然换成一对说着他完全听不懂的外语的陌生人。这样的一种动荡究竟将对男孩的心理形成什么样的影响，显然不是大家关心的一件事。从那一刻开始，这位名叫布尔查·布珈雅的男孩就必须活在另一个被强加在他身上的现实之中。

儿时的仁波切与布珈雅一家——妲娜与波斯布珈雅，以及女儿莉诗玛。

仁波切在费城遇见的亲切女士蒂娃宁波偶尔会到新泽西州豪威尔市探望他。这名叫布尔查的小男孩总是搞不清楚她是什么人，又为何会探望他。仁波切的外婆蒂倩明也时常前来探望他。蒂娃宁波告诉布尔查说，自己是他的阿姨，而布尔查的外婆蒂倩明则=才是他的母亲。对年幼的仁波切来说，要找出谁才是自己的亲生母亲，不但是一件十分艰难的事，更会他感到十分不安。他的生母究竟是台湾那个照顾他的妇人，还是如同蒂娃宁波所说的是他的外婆，又抑或是蒂倩明坚称为他母亲的这一位他刚认识不久的蒙古女士妲娜·布珈雅。蒂娃宁波究竟是谁？为何每个人都很积极地说另一个人才是他的生母？在这种情况下，每一个人仿佛都有可能是他的母亲，与此同时，他却也没有一个明确的母亲。

妲娜与波斯布珈雅（左）及蒂倩明（右）。

对布尔查来说，这一切都不合理，而他也搞不清究竟谁才是他的亲生母亲。为什么原本应该是他外婆的蒂倩明，实际上却跟所谓的其亲生父母布珈雅夫妇没有任何关系？如果这当中的复杂性令人觉得困惑，我们不妨试想这究竟将对一个亟需在安稳环境下成长的孩子之心灵，具体构成什么样的影响。这一切都十分混淆，围绕在男孩身边的一切，迫使布尔查的生命充斥着谎言和欺骗。然而作为一个毫无反抗能力的小孩，仁波切只能接受成人们告诉他的一切。虽然这使得仁波切心乱如麻，他依然是个乖巧的孩子，假装自己生活在一个正常的环境里。然而，男孩所要面对的创伤远不止此，等待着他的还有更猛烈的冲击。

几年后的某一天，当仁波切已经逐渐习惯了这新环境，以及那些主导和改变其生命的各种情况和变化之后，另一场更具毁灭性的打击却在转角处等着他。那一天，仁波切跟其他孩童在他其中一位名叫察甘的表姐家里玩耍。游戏途中，仁波切跟察甘发生了一些争执，两人拌起嘴来。察甘在愤怒之下，无情地脱口说道：“你不过是个领养回来的孩子，他们（妲娜和波斯·布珈雅）并不是你的家人。”这使得仁波切极为震惊，头脑顿时一片空白。在忍受了多年的纷纷扰扰，终于在乱局中找到一个安稳的家庭后，这个突如其来的消息再一次给仁波切的生命带来重击。仁波切好不容易才开始相信布珈雅夫妇是自己的亲生父母的当儿，又再度被逼面对失去的命运。

身穿红衣者为尊贵的詹杜固仁波切的生母。旁边坐着的是仁波切的表姐卡卡杜敦。

这位后来被认证为仁波切的小男孩当时只不过是10或11岁，然而生命中的太多不确定，不知道自己的父母是谁、不知道该相信些什么、不知道自己的生命中哪一些是事实，哪一些是谎言等，导致他的成长过程变得十分辛苦。察甘表姐的话给他带来巨大的震撼，也对他的心灵造成了伤害，却也让事情变得更加清楚。仁波切想要知道事实真相，但除了一个他很喜欢的杜敦表姐外，其他人都不愿意对他透露太多。他常问卡卡杜敦（卡卡是蒙古人称呼阿姨或年长表姐的方式）：“我们真的是一家人吗？我究竟是谁？”而她则会选择性地向“布尔查”透露一些消息，因为她确实很喜欢这个小男孩，也想要保护他幼小的心灵。

经过察甘表姐事件之后，杜敦表姐终于在某一天温和地向仁波切透露蒂倩明皇后是仁波切的外婆而蒂娃宁波是他亲生母亲的事实。过去让仁波切不解的谜团，如蒂娃宁波为何会探望他和事情为何会如此演变等，终于开始有了一个合理的解释。仁波切虽然知道了真相，但这并不能安抚他得知自己被亲生母亲抛弃的伤痛。

蒂娃宁波不时总会前往探望仁波切，而仁波切尽管早已知道她的真实身份，却必须当作一无所知。蒂娃宁波有时会把仁波切带到她位于费城的家里。仁波切清楚记得那些时光，虽然他依然无法为某些事找到合理的解释，但他总算知道他所喜欢和欣赏的这位女士就是自己的亲生母亲。单凭他眼中这位美丽、聪明、有学问和真实的人的存在本身，就足以让仁波切觉得骄傲和值得，并让他心中充满喜悦。日子一天天过去，仁波切与蒂娃宁波的关系也变得更加亲密。虽然仁波切知道了她的真实身份，他依然继续称呼她为“蒂娃阿姨”。能够跟亲生母亲共度一些珍贵的时光，就已让仁波切心满意足。

尊贵的詹杜固仁波切之生母——蒂娃宁波。

从一个名叫小牛的小男孩长大成年少的布尔查布珈雅的那些年，仁波切对佛法的热爱与日俱增。当同年龄的孩子们还在跟玩具为伍和扮演心目中的英雄时，布尔查就已经对佛法、西藏本尊像、经文及禅修着迷。让人不解的是，仁波切对佛法的热爱仿佛是天生的，从来没有人对他灌输过这种观念或教他这么做。仁波切仿佛很自然地就知道自己要什么。他对佛法的热情和忠诚自小就根深蒂固，即便知道自己必须因此而时常遭受对他另有期待的父母的殴打和斥责，也丝毫无法动摇他追求佛法的信念。这里的矛盾点是，作为一个原本就缺乏关爱，在台北街头游荡的孩子，仁波切当时大可选择一个能满足自己一切需要的舒适家庭，但他唯一想要和渴望的，却只有佛法。

同样无法解释的是许多杰出的西藏佛教上师总会在机缘巧合下走入仁波切的生活，仿佛上天早已为此做出安排。在追求佛法的过程中，仁波切经历了许多煎熬，他的养父母有时会采取极为严苛的手段来阻止他学佛。他们认为仁波切对佛法的热爱，将会对他们为儿子制定的人生计划形成阻碍。许多时候，年幼的仁波切往往会因为参与佛法相关活动而被母亲无情地殴打。无助和不安的生活，加上养父母对他诚心学佛的心愿所进行的暴力阻止，导致仁波切曾多次想要结束自己的生命。最后，仁波切决定放弃他历尽千辛、屡遭遗弃才拥有的唯一安稳家庭，离家出走找寻佛法的新生命。对仁波切而言，哪怕只要能看着殊胜的佛像、念诵神圣的心咒和祈愿文，都远比世俗的一切舒适和欢愉来得更有意义。

詹杜固仁波切生母年幼时与家族世交合影。右边的是仁波切的外婆。

蒂娃宁波和仁波切多年来一直保持联系，彼此之间也进行了多次交流。仁波切得知母亲是一位名叫索普仁波切的伟大蒙古上师之直系弟子，某些群体亲密地称呼索普仁波切为古鲁迪瓦仁波切。西藏人则称他为索普仁波切，意思是蒙古的仁波切，而就像许多蒙古人一样，仁波切的母亲也称他为“古鲁迪瓦仁波切”，意即众神之师，这是蒙古人对他显示高度敬意的称号。仁波切当时完全没想到，这位名叫古鲁迪瓦仁波切的人将对他的生命造成如此巨大的改变。

许多年过去了，仁波切在21或22岁那年前往印第安纳波利斯参加达赖尊者的开示，那也是仁波切的生母蒂娃宁波居住的地方。那时候，这位名叫布尔查·布珈雅的年轻人已经决定出家。由于自己即将启程前往印度，也不知道何时才有机会再度与生母见面，仁波切致电蒂娃宁波要求会面。蒂娃宁波最初答应了，后来不知何故改变初衷。仁波切虽然失望，但他早已习惯面对失望，也接受了她拒绝见面的事实。

然而，蒂娃宁波接着却对仁波切说了一些后来被证实是带有预言意味的话。她说：“你即将到印度和尼泊尔去，那地方相当遥远，你将会很孤单，但若你需要任何帮助和协助，或当你面对任何问题的时候，你可以联络古鲁迪瓦仁波切，并告诉他这是蒂娃宁波的指示。”仁波切当时完全没想到她的这番话将对自己的生活造成如此深重的影响，他只是很高兴母亲会这么说，因为这意味着她关心他，希望他能安全无恙。这是仁波切最后一次跟亲生母亲对话。他随后就启程前往印度，兑现他早前对根本上师宋仁波切许下的承诺，出家为僧。

嘉杰宋仁波切为尊贵的詹杜固仁波切剪发，象征接受仁波切日后将出家为僧的承诺。

在22岁那年，布尔查在至尊第十四世达赖喇嘛面前受戒出家，法名丹增梭巴。那一年是1987年。过后，仁波切前往尼泊尔，抵达那里时，他决定联络母亲的上师古鲁迪瓦仁波切。经过了一番安排，他们终于见了面。仁波切很惊讶这位大师竟然如此和蔼可亲，而且还很幽默。他们以仁波切多年在豪威尔蒙古克尔梅克社区生活时所学习到的蒙古卡尔梅克语交谈。

对仁波切而言，遇见古鲁迪瓦仁波切是一项难得的殊荣，因为这位资深上师不仅是一位极有成就的大师，还曾经有幸在当代最伟大的西藏佛教大师如嘉杰帕绷喀仁波切、嘉杰永津赤江仁波切和嘉杰永津林仁波切座下学习并护持这个传承。此外，古鲁迪瓦仁波切对于在印度重振宗喀巴大师的传承法教上扮演着举足轻重的角色。虽然如此，仁波切除了觉得这是个殊胜的会面外，并不做他想。他不久后就动身前往甘丹寺，准备迎接出家为僧的生活。

位于南印度孟过的甘丹萨济寺。

甘丹寺物质匮乏，仁波切和其他甘丹寺僧人普遍上都面对粮食短缺的问题，他们不只是缺乏米饭、面包，在某些日子，他们甚至完全没有食物充饥。这时候，仁波切只能以一些面粉混着茶来果腹。贫穷已经是个不争的事实。然而，尽管极度贫穷，仁波切却十分快乐。他自小就期待的梦想终于实现了，漫长的旅途在他抵达第二佛宗喀巴大师的神圣学府甘丹寺时总算是抵达了终点站。仁波切再也没想要其他的，对于贫困也毫不在意。许多时候，寺院僧人们不只没有电力供应，水供也同样短缺，他们必须时常用人力把水从地下泵上来。粮食的短缺导致仁波切的身体变得瘦弱，但这并不减少仁波切心中的喜悦，因为他终于抵达了他梦寐以求的地方，而更重要的是，他履行了对挚爱上师宋仁波切的承诺，即便宋仁波切早已圆寂。如果有人问起仁波切的为人，若有人想要知道仁波切是一位什么样的僧人，答案就在这里。仁波切是那种不惜放弃一切，包括舍弃一切的舒适、放弃人们用尽一生来追求的安全感，只为了兑现承诺的人。仁波切是一位在穿上僧袍之前，就已经把佛法融入生命中的僧人。一个人还会为了什么愿意舍弃美好的生活到寺院挨饿而无怨无悔？

再饥饿、再贫困的窘境也无阻尊贵的詹杜固仁波切在甘丹寺用心学习并实修佛法。

话虽如此，贫穷却是一个无法被漠视的残酷事实，仁波切继续在极度艰苦的情况下挣扎。在那里逗留了三到四年之后，仁波切生活极度窘迫，甚至到了必须挨饿的地步。当时是1991年，仁波切突然记起母亲几年前对他说过的话，那就是若他需要任何帮忙，可以用她的名义找古鲁迪瓦仁波切仁波切求助。无计可施之下，仁波切写了一封信给古鲁迪瓦仁波切仁波切，解释他所面对的困境，并请求古鲁迪瓦仁波切仁波切帮他找一位功德主，以便仁波切可以购买食物和肥皂之类的日用品。这只是一个没有把握的尝试，因为仁波切完全不知道古鲁迪瓦仁波切仁波切是否会回复，或是否愿意帮忙，他甚至不敢肯定这封信能否成功抵达古鲁迪瓦仁波切仁波切手中。仁波切对此不敢抱有太多的希望。

然而，一个月后仁波切却收到了来古鲁迪瓦仁波切的一封紧急电报，说：

“尽快启程前来尼泊尔。请马上动身。”

仁波切虽然终于收到了古鲁迪瓦仁波切的回复，但由于他当时的情况十分恶劣，这封电报顿时让他陷入了另一个困境。仁波切一方面亟须帮助，必须想尽办法解决问题，另一方面，他连满足基本需要的钱都没有，更别说要根据一封神秘电报的指示动身前往尼泊尔。在举棋不定之下，仁波切前往征求他的上师之一，甘丹萨济寺前住持拉谛仁波切的意见，并请求他进行占卜。仁波切迫切地想知道自己是否应该前往尼泊尔，因为那将会花费很多时间、精力和金钱，而这一切刚好就是他所缺乏的。

拉谛仁波切用三个骰子进行占卜，结果十分明确。若干年后，每当忆起这件事，仁波切依然记得拉谛仁波切当时给予他的关键性建议：

“无论你遇到什么障碍，遇到什么问题，无论你的尼泊尔之行将会遇到什么难处，都不要理会，要克服它，借钱前往尼泊尔。这将会对你很好。好消息将会出现。别错过。”

实际上，拉谛仁波切要仁波切不惜任何代价前往尼泊尔。仁波切完全信任拉谛仁波切，因为对他而言，拉谛仁波切的占卜无异于他的神通。话虽如此，仁波切还是没有远行的经费，他于是前往拜见了他的另一位上师兼当时的寺院住持堪殊强巴耶喜仁波切，请求堪殊仁波切批准他离开寺院，同时还向堪殊仁波切贷款五千卢比，这在当时可是一笔大数目。有了这一些之后，仁波切立刻动身前往尼泊尔。

尊贵的詹杜固仁波切与嘉杰拉谛仁波切。

古鲁迪瓦仁波切的住所是一栋三四层高的房子，仁波切在古鲁迪瓦仁波切的助理丹增扎巴的带领下来到一个房间。由于距离上一次见古鲁迪瓦仁波切已经相隔了好几年，这时候的仁波切不但蒙古话已经明显退步，藏语的会话能力也好不了多少。但仁波切依然以不纯熟的蒙古语和简单的藏语成功地跟古鲁迪瓦仁波切进行了沟通。

古鲁迪瓦仁波切对仁波切说的一番话，让仁波切十分感动。古鲁迪瓦仁波切说：“过几天，我将会给你介绍一位功德主。如果你的态度和表现良好，这位功德主将会照顾你的所有需要并在金钱上支持你，他也会善待你。这位功德主相当富有，他也是我的功德主之一。”

那一刻，古鲁迪瓦仁波切展示了自己的无私和慷慨。找到一名功德主并不是一件容易的事，然而，对仁波切几乎一无所知的古鲁迪瓦仁波切却愿意把自己的其中一名功德主让给仁波切。这完全显示了像古鲁迪瓦仁波切这样的大师们所具备的特质和风范。西藏格鲁三大寺院－－甘丹寺、色拉寺和哲蚌寺在1959年后之所以能够在国外重建，古鲁迪瓦仁波切的贡献和慷慨可谓居功不小。

后来，仁波切从古鲁迪瓦仁波切口中探悉这位功德主的背景——他名叫洛桑嘉措，是一个富有的藏人，也是古鲁迪瓦仁波切的功德主。早前古鲁迪瓦仁波切之所以给仁波切发紧急电报，是因为嘉措先生即将到尼泊尔来会见自己。虽然古鲁迪瓦仁波切已为仁波切搭桥铺路，但他还是郑重地向仁波切表示这位功德主并不会轻信他人，仁波切必须让这位功德主对自己留下深刻的印象。

接下来的几日中，在等待嘉措先生到来的当儿，仁波切都一直伴随古鲁迪瓦仁波切，更因此而意外地发现，原来这一位伟大的上师是那么的幽默风趣。在仁波切的记忆中，“古鲁迪瓦仁波切会跟我分享非常有趣的故事，他性情直爽，有话直说，说起话来也非常诙谐幽默，甚至七情上面，脸上还会出现搞怪的表情。每次他说完话后，他会看着你，而你也就会被逗得笑开来。他是如此的有趣，如此的温暖，就像每个人和蔼可亲的爷爷，但他同时也确实是一位伟大的上师”。在后来的岁月中，每当仁波切想起这位伟大上师，勾起的都是自己跟这位上师相处的温馨时光的回忆。然而，仁波切当时接下来的经历，让他清楚知道古鲁迪瓦仁波切给予他的不仅仅是仁慈、友谊和指导，他欠下的，是永不能回报的恩惠。

洛桑嘉措先生（右）与至尊十世班禅大师。

两三日后，嘉措先生终于抵达尼泊尔，而他给仁波切的第一印象是：他无异于一般的西藏男人，身高中等，但五官深邃，眼神锐利。那时候古鲁迪瓦仁波切鼓励仁波切与嘉措先生有多点的相处时间，好让他们更加熟悉彼此。

嘉措先生问起仁波切的背景，母亲是谁。面对这样的提问，仁波切多年来为自己亲生父母为何人而生起的困惑和迷失顿时浮现，更再次刺伤他的心。仁波切向嘉措先生坦诚自己不知情。接着仁波切又被问到他的父亲为何人，这时，仁波切唯有告诉嘉措先生自己未曾见过父亲，也不曾知道自己的父亲为何人，他只能说：“坦白说，嘉措先生，我甚至不知道自己的种族。我不知道自己是汉人、蒙古人或是西藏人，我一点头绪都没有，因为没人能告诉我我的父母亲是谁”。

他们之间的谈话也就以此继续进行。突然，嘉措先生向仁波切问了一道奇怪的问题：“如果你知道你的父亲是谁，你会怎么做？”仁波切大吃一惊，因为他不仅不曾想过这个问题（他早已接受自己不会得知亲生父母是谁的事实），而且这个问题还由一个陌生人来问，这不太寻常。最后仁波切还是想了想，然后由衷地说道：“如果我能有幸知道自己的亲生父亲是谁，我会经常探访他，父慈子孝地跟他说说话，会以他为荣，会守护俩人间的父子情，最重要的是，会如爱父亲那样爱他”。这些自仁波切儿时起就已经在他脑海中想像过无数次的场景、自儿时起内心深处最迫切的渴望，使他在回应时是如此的流畅和自然。期间，嘉措先生一边叼着纸烟，一边好奇地听着仁波切的回答，但他只表示自己听到了而不多语。

接着，嘉措先生问及仁波切未来的打算，仁波切说道：“我想到甘丹寺学习，我也想进行闭关。我跟一位非常伟大的上师住一起。在那里，我向一位非常伟大的上师学习。我的根本上师已经圆寂了，但他的弟子堪苏仁波切是我的上师，我非常幸运”。嘉措先生接着问：“你想要什么，现在你需要什么？”于是仁波切道出自己需要金钱资助的愿望，好让自己能购买僧袍、干粮、药物，以及到达兰萨拉及其他寺院出席佛法开示的旅费。

洛桑嘉措先生（右）与至尊第14世达赖尊者。

嘉措先生很快就答应了并说道：“好的，你要当个清净的僧人，要好好学习，每个月我都会给你寄钱”。听到嘉措先生这么说，仁波切除了如释重负，更对嘉措先生充满感恩之心，虽然嘉措先生并没有表明会资助自己多少钱，因为仁波切知道，不管他愿意资助多少，那都是雪中送炭。正如仁波切年幼时一样，无论自己得到的东西多么微小，多么不值得一提，他仍然怀抱感激的心接受一切。

接下去的几日中，仁波切与嘉措先生变得越来越熟悉了。仁波切因此得知嘉措先生的故乡就在西藏安多的“果洛”，但在年幼时便搬迁到泰和（Trehor），随后一直都住在那里。从谈话中仁波切得知嘉措先生曾是哲蚌寺的僧人，也曾侍奉创萨仁波切（Trungsar Rinpoche），但是后来由于他开始周游各地，接着也就跟着还俗、娶妻生子。他有两名儿子及一名女儿。虽然如此，他仍然透过资助金钱的方式继续侍奉创萨仁波切。除此，嘉措先生也在台湾开办了一所教导藏人语文及文化的学校。这所学校获得至尊达赖尊者的关注，除了是因为嘉措先生与达赖尊者颇为亲近，达赖尊者对这所学校的关注也源自他对保存藏人文化的渴望。

尊贵的詹杜固仁波切与嘉杰刚坚仁波切。

古鲁迪瓦仁波切把仁波切引见给嘉措先生的时候，正逢藏历新年将至的日子。当时古鲁迪瓦仁波切的住处正如火如荼地为新年的来临而做准备。一天，嘉措先生赠了仁波切五千卢比，这笔钱在那个时候算得上是可观的数目。虽然仁波切确实急需这笔钱，但他还是觉得自己应该把钱用以向这位刚认识不久的善心人士，以及向一直以来对自己有恩的人表示感激。于是仁波切花了三千卢比给古鲁迪瓦仁波切、古鲁迪瓦仁波切的侍从丹增扎巴及其妻子，以及洛桑嘉措先生买礼物。仁波切早已打算在藏历新年当天给他们送上礼物，当成一个惊喜。碰巧地，仁波切身在那里的时候，嘉杰刚坚仁波切也就住在附近，于是仁波切前去拜见刚坚仁波切，并且把自己以及找到功德主的事告知刚坚仁波切。刚坚仁波切明显地为仁波切感到十分高兴。

很快地就到了藏历新年的那一天。那天早上，仁波切所做的第一件事就是赶往刚坚仁波切的住处行大礼拜及献供养。随后仁波切再返回古鲁迪瓦仁波切的住处准备即将赠送的礼物，然后走进古鲁迪瓦仁波切的房间。当时有许多人排队等待拜见古鲁迪瓦仁波切并接受他的新年加持。仁波切把这一天记得特别清楚——他回想起古鲁迪瓦仁波切就坐在法座上，而坐在古鲁迪瓦仁波切对面、倚靠着一面墙的，就是他的新功德主洛桑嘉措先生。轮到仁波切拜见古鲁迪瓦仁波切时，他向古鲁迪瓦仁波切行了三个礼拜，然后献上曼达拉供养，再把早已准备好的礼物送给古鲁迪瓦仁波切。随后就在仁波切离开之际，古鲁迪瓦仁波切使了个眼色，提示仁波切坐下，自己有话要跟仁波切说。

索普仁波切，或称古鲁迪瓦仁波切。

当天早上古鲁迪瓦仁波切向仁波切所说的每一句话，都深深地震撼了仁波切——即便是二十多年后，仁波切仍然记住当时古鲁迪瓦仁波切所说的近乎每一字句。古鲁迪瓦仁波切让仁波切坐下，然后说道：“很久以前，你的父亲已经成婚了，然后你的父亲在台湾与你的母亲相遇，他俩互生情愫，然后在夜里做了一些事后就有你了”。古鲁迪瓦仁波切用藏文以长辈委婉的口吻，道出了这些几十年来把仁波切蒙在鼓里的真相。换句话说，仁波切的生父亲在遇见仁波切的生母亲蒂娃宁波时已有家室，但他们后来有了仁波切这个儿子。然而，由于仁波切的生父已有家室，他俩无法共结连理。这个真相彻底击垮仁波切的生母，于是她在生了仁波切后就将之抛下，离开台湾前去美国。在仁波切生母的眼中，这个无辜的小生命总会提醒自己，孩子的父亲是如何的不耻，而这小生命本身的存在，就象征着蒂娃宁波的羞耻。

仁波切的父母做了他们都后悔莫及的事，但是与其心怀恨意，古鲁迪瓦仁波切劝告仁波切应该往前看，继续他的人生。古鲁迪瓦仁波切刚刚跟仁波切讲述的故事，其实都是在为他真正想揭晓的真相铺路——坐在仁波切身后、倚靠着墙壁的那个男人，正是仁波切的生父！

仁波切转过身，眼前的洛桑嘉措先生几分钟前还是自己的功德主，瞬间却成了他前一分钟才知晓的父亲。仁波切的思绪突然紊乱得不知从何开始思考，他甚至吓得身体僵硬，不晓得如何反应。

仁波切多么希望这个消息是真的。整个童年时光直到自己人生的前一分钟，他都从未停止找寻自己的父亲。即便仁波切非常希望这个消息是真的，但他也对此尚存怀疑，因为过去他曾好几次被告知自己的父母为何人，可后来却发现事实并非如此。那些过去短暂且带有欺瞒的欢乐时光深深地伤害了仁波切年幼的心灵，他无法敞开心扉让自己完全相信刚刚所听到的消息。仁波切僵住并望着古鲁迪瓦仁波切，古鲁迪瓦仁波切接着说：“你不想转过身，跟你的父亲说声‘罗萨扎希德勒’吗？”

仁波切转过身，望向那个就是他父亲的男人，看着他如何不受自主地颤抖起来，泪水不听使唤地流下……仁波切知道，这个名叫洛桑嘉措的男人就是他的生父，因为那脸庞上的泪水，是父亲因孩子而流下的眼泪。仁波切眼前的这个男人因过去所犯的错，错使一个无辜的孩子成了弃子，饱受羞辱，过着漂泊的日子，甚至被逼在一个充斥暴力的家庭中长大。眼前的这个男人犯下了过错，导致这个无辜的孩子必须经受数不完的虐待。即使仁波切在那个当下为自己累积了二十多年的身心伤痛而展现出丝毫的愤怒，在场也无人能对他加以苛责。然而，仁波切从坐垫上站起，然后走向父亲，最后还把父亲拥入怀里。仁波切心中所想的，是感恩他在那么多年不断的困惑、迷茫、希望及失望后终于找到父亲。在父亲紧紧抱着仁波切的当儿，他向仁波切说：“请原谅我”。在听到父亲向自己请求原谅后，仁波切二十年来所累积的情绪涌上心头，然后在那个当下获得释放。仁波切的父亲不断地哭泣，但他也不愿意让仁波切看到他的这一面，所以他很快地就梳理好自己的情绪，接着向仁波切说：“好了，好了，现在你可以离开了……”

洛桑嘉措先生与其家人于台湾合影。

古鲁迪瓦仁波切目睹这一切的发生。他脸带笑容指示仁波切是时候离开他的房间了，随后自己会再接见仁波切。就在仁波切踏出房门的那一刻，丹增扎巴的妻子问：“看到了自己的父亲，你开心吗？”仁波切给予正面的回应，而仁波切确实为此开心。

在这么多年的寻寻觅觅之后找到自己的父亲，仁波切这一天那么一下子高潮迭起的情绪也是挺累人的。当仁波切回到自己的房间，他终于忍不住完全地释放自己的情绪而哭泣。仁波切一边不断地哭，一边不断地洗脸，那个时候，他不知道该怎么办。一方面他的内心充满喜悦，一方面他却非常害怕有人会夺走这突如其来的喜悦和释怀，告诉他一切都是搞错了，或只是一个谎言。年幼时，仁波切被告知自己的父母就在台湾，照顾他的人，就是自己的父母。随后，仁波切又被告知他们并不是自己的父母，不过一下子又被带到美国，被告知自己的父母就在美国，最后难逃再次被告知自己的亲生父母并非美国养父母的命运。如今，在经过一切动荡之后，自己终于得知亲生父亲为何人，心中难免出现担心快乐突然被夺走的恐惧。缠绕仁波切一生的恐惧和焦虑，是我们一般人所难以理解的。

尊贵的詹杜固仁波切与其兄长，洛桑嘉措先生的其中一名儿子彭措。

经过这件事之后，仁波切又继续在古鲁迪瓦仁波切的家住了两三天。期间仁波切与父亲一同聊天、共餐。仁波切称父亲为“巴拉”，这乃藏语中对父亲的称呼。仁波切的父亲也给仁波切展示他另外两名儿子及一名女儿——即仁波切同父异母的兄弟姐妹——的照片。仁波切其中一名同父异母的哥哥与仁波切极为相似，就如孪生兄弟一样。后来当这名哥哥前去甘丹寺拜访仁波切时，人人都会向仁波切说：“嘿，你的哥哥到了”。

尊贵的詹杜固仁波切与至尊第14世达赖尊者（中），以及堪苏仁波切强巴耶喜（右）。

在与父亲共度几天温馨、珍贵的时光之后，父亲告诉仁波切他该是时候回去甘丹寺了，说道：“回去好好学习，好好当个僧人，不要在这里虚度时间”。父亲说完后表示自己将会与仁波切保持联系，并且会到甘丹寺探望他，更会一直照顾他。他还把五千卢比交到仁波切手中，这笔钱对仁波切来说可是来得正是时候，因为仁波切能偿还自己向堪苏仁波切借来的旅费了。这段时间虽然发生许多事，但仁波切仍然必须回到寺院学习，于是他只好向古鲁迪瓦仁波切道别。

这张相片摄于尊贵的詹杜固仁波切的坐床大典当天。此典礼由其父亲洛桑嘉措赞助。

几个月后，仁波切被认证成一位转世喇嘛，并且从神谕媒那里获得转世认证书，以及至尊达赖尊者的批准，让时任住持堪苏仁波切强巴耶喜为仁波切举办坐床大典。仁波切的父亲未忘自己曾说过的话，他前去甘丹寺探望仁波切，更赞助了整个按照传统仪式进行的坐床大典——赞助全寺僧人酥油茶及面包，以及为寺院及仁波切在甘丹寺所属的布康康村各准备一套供养。除此之外，仁波切的父亲也在寺院的土地范围内给刚进行过坐床大典的仁波切买了一块地，也给了仁波切一笔钱，足以让仁波切建成“詹拉章”。直至今日，这座“詹拉章”依然还在甘丹寺内。从这一次的坐床大典起，仁波切的父亲每个月都给他寄生活费，照顾他的需要。

过了一阵子后，仁波切的哥哥从台湾到来探望自己。仁波切从哥哥的口中得知原来这么多年来，他们都一直在找寻仁波切，现在终于找到了。这些话对仁波切而言有着深远的意义。仁波切清楚知道，他所感受到的喜悦和亲情，其实都源于古鲁迪瓦仁波切的慈悲。

在坐床大典当天，詹杜固仁波切与卡尔梅克族哲蚌果芒寺的呼图克图戴罗仁波切。这名仁波切也是仁波切的表兄弟。

这名慈爱的上师替仁波切找回自己的根、找到了自己的父母，这无疑填补了仁波切心中巨大的空洞。对自己身世的一无所知致使仁波切的整段成长岁月都在不安和不确定感中度过，但现在他终于可以释怀。这名慷慨大爱的上师与仁波切非亲非故，但仁波切却从他那里找到亲情和金钱的资助，自己多年来一直面对的困扰一下子都获得解放。

古鲁迪瓦仁波切从不曾为自己的任何付出要过一次的回报。阅读詹杜固仁波切对古鲁迪瓦仁波切的回忆录让我看到古鲁迪瓦仁波切的仁慈、慷慨及大爱，他一直就这么怀抱一颗单纯希望别人好的悲心。仁波切对古鲁迪瓦仁波切的回忆录也使我们清楚看见古鲁迪瓦仁波切不动的上师依止心。每次仁波切与这名仁慈的上师在一块时，只要古鲁迪瓦仁波切提及其上师嘉杰赤江仁波切，他的语气总是柔和、恭敬；只要一忆念起上师，他眼眶就会不禁泛泪；只要把上师赤江仁波切的名字念出口，他会立即双掌合十，语气柔和，表现得十分恭敬。

位于南印度甘丹寺的詹拉章。

后来，仁波切从其他伟大上师那里得知古鲁迪瓦仁波切的崇高转世身份，以及他对赤江仁波切坚定的依止心。除此，仁波切也得知古鲁迪瓦仁波切的各种善行，例如他如何为甘丹、色拉及哲蚌寺助印数以千计的珍贵课本；他如何为至尊达赖尊者及其他伟大上师捐助大佛像及赞助上师们的公开开示；他又如何在同时照顾无数的贫困人士及僧众，连带照顾甘丹、色拉及哲蚌寺的各种需要。从中我们看到古鲁迪瓦仁波切是何等伟大、无我的上师，他不仅非常博学，还非常仁慈，以及对上师有无比的依止心。

嘉杰赤江仁波切是20世纪的伟大上师，是上师中的上师，更是至尊第14世达赖尊者的副经师。

然而，在詹杜固仁波切的心中，古鲁迪瓦仁波切一生所作出的贡献根本没有任何适合的字眼足以形容一切。他的建树和付出远远超出言语所能形容的范围，而仁波切就像这个世界其他曾受过古鲁迪瓦仁波切恩惠的人一样，将他给过的仁慈永远铭记于心。

在那次跟古鲁迪瓦仁波切告别的几年后，仁波切还是拜见了古鲁迪瓦仁波切好几次。自古鲁迪瓦仁波切后来搬迁到蒙古后，仁波切也就再也没有见到这位慈爱的上师。随后仁波切听闻古鲁迪瓦仁波切在百岁那年圆寂。纵使已达百岁高龄，古鲁迪瓦仁波切的神志极其清醒、意识极度清晰。

同样让我赞叹的是詹杜固仁波切如何从充满阴影、煎熬及伤痛的童年走出来。那些悲痛并没有使仁波切变成苦涩及愤怒的人，他反而还担起了自己所有的苦楚，让这些苦化作对人间疾苦的领悟，直接与间接地帮助自己达成抚平每个人伤痛的心愿。生于这个残酷的世界，人难免不自觉地产生自我保护、对人不信任及筑起心墙、将人拒于千里之外的心理。然而，仁波切的内心却有柔软的坚韧，将所有痛苦的经历用作成就菩萨之道的“养分”。对我而言，我阅读过不少高僧的生平传记，但我没办法记得还有哪一位上师也经历同等的磨难，甚至做出如此多的牺牲，为的就是将佛法带给人们。詹杜固仁波切的生平故事让我记起了一段修行的忠言：像纯洁的莲花一样出淤泥而不染。我们清净的本性必定也能不受生命中的各种烦恼及痛苦所染污。詹杜固仁波切的一生就是这个智慧教诲活生生的一个例子。仁波切的经历仿佛是在告诉世人，慈悲并非遥不可及，反而近在咫尺，因为它就处于我们心中。

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Biography | 生平

Guru Deva Rinpoche is an emanation of one of the 84 Mahasiddhas. In order to benefit countless mother sentient beings, Rinpoche took rebirth in 1909 in Ordos, a city which has many temples in the Hanchen area.

Guru Deva Rinpoche

Since young, Rinpoche was enthroned as a Hutugtu (“Incarnate Saint of the first rank”). At the age of 7, Rinpoche started to give Dharma teachings. Up till the age of 20, Rinpoche studied the Tripitaka (three baskets) and Trisiksa (threefold training) in Ordos, after which Rinpoche travelled to Tibet and studied in Drepung Gomang Monastic University. Under the tutelage of great masters like Kyabje Pabongka Rinpoche, Kyabje Yongzin Trijang Rinpoche, Kyabje Yongzin Ling Rinpoche, Kyabje Khangser Ripoche, and others, Rinpoche mastered the Sutras and Tantras, and adhere to his teachers’ advice to benefit sentient beings throughout his life.

When the Dalai Lama emigrated with the Sangha and lay Tibetans to the land where Lord Buddha was born, Rinpoche helped to rebuild the refugees’ accommodations, the three Great Monastic Universities of Sera, Drepung and Gaden, as well as other monasteries. For example, in Kathmandu, the capital of Nepal, Rinpoche established the first Gelug monastery Gaden Chopel Ling (later renamed Samtenling) near the holy stupa of Boudhanath, which together with Gaden Jamgonling near the holy stupa of Swayambhu, enhance each other’s glory.

Guru Deva Rinpoche with His Holiness the 10th Panchen Lama

When Buddhism was going through revival in Mongolia, Guru Deva Rinpoche generously helped many Mongolian poor and homeless. In 1991, Rinpoche rebuilt the largest monastery in Mongolia, Amarbayasgalant, (Amarbayasgalant Khiid, built in the year 1727 or the 5th year of Chinese Emperor Yongzheng’s reign, known as “Monastery of Tranquil Felicity” in Chinese), re-establishing the ordained community, scripture learning or education, rainy season retreat and so on. This very important monastery of the pure Gelugpa lineage was built as the final resting place for Zanabazar (1635–1723), the first Jebtsundamba Khutuktu, or spiritual head of Tibetan Buddhism in Mongolia. This became the seat of the subsequent Jebtsundamba Khutuktu. Located 137 miles to the northwest of Mongolia’s capital Ulan Bator, the main hall contains the statue of Guru Deva Rinpoche. During the opening ceremony of the monastery in 1992, Bakula Rinpoche and the President of Mongolia also came for the ceremony. In 1996, the monastery was selected as one of the world heritage sites by the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO). Dozens of monks visits Ulan Bator monthly to receive teachings from Rinpoche. In 1936, the number of monks in the monastery totalled more than two thousand.

A life-size statue of Guru Deva Rinpoche in the main temple of Amarbayasgalant Monastery in Mongolia

Guru Deva Rinpoche compiled as well as printed many scriptures throughout his life, and until today, many of the commentaries or writing quoted the books or scriptures that Guru Deva Rinpoche published. The scripture room of Amarbayasgalant Monastery contained not only the Tibetan-Mongolian Kangyur, it also has the Chinese Kangyur. Guru Deva Rinpoche also established the Tsongkhapa Buddhist Society in Taiwan in 1990 where 5 resident monks from Sera Monastery are based to promote Buddhadharma. Guru Deva Rinpoche’s disciples in Taiwan also donated to the rebuilding of Amarbayasgalant and various other monasteries. Guru Deva Rinpoche’s contribution towards the Buddhadharma garnered much respect from the Mongolians, Tibetans, and Indians as Rinpoche’s work benefitted the seven classes of disciples.

生平

古鲁迪瓦仁波切乃印度八十四大成就者之一所化身，为利益无量如母有情，于1909年转世于现今漠南具众多寺庙的伊克昭盟鄂尔多斯(Ordos)汗千(Hanchen)地区。

幼时坐床继任呼图克图化身尊名，7岁即讲经说法，20岁时前于鄂尔多斯研习三藏，修证三学。后入雪域圣地哲绷寺果芒扎仓，并于近代帕绷卡祖师，经师赤江仁波切，林仁波切，康萨仁波切等座下精进研读经续广大法海，此后一生谨遵上师们教诲修证利众。

古鲁迪瓦仁波切于蒙古庆宁寺

后来至尊达赖尊者与僧俗移居至释尊出生地，仁波切协助重建避难住所，三大寺与众多寺院。譬如在尼泊尔首都加德满都的佛教圣地大白塔（BoudhaNath，台湾旅游业称四眼大塔）旁首建尼泊尔第一间格鲁派寺庙－甘丹却林寺，1959年改成桑殿林寺(SamtenLing)，与自生寺(Swayambhu，台湾旅游业称猴子塔) 的色贡寺相辉映。

当蒙古国佛教重振之初，仁波切便帮助众多蒙古穷人与流浪汉，1991年更重建蒙古国最大的寺庙阿玛尔巴雅斯噶兰特寺（Amarbayasgalant Khiid，建于雍正 5年，公元1727年建，汉称庆宁寺），安立僧团，学经，结夏等；此重要清净格鲁派教法寺庙，当年主要是建立做为第一世哲布尊丹巴呼图克图（Rje Btsun Dam Pa）的陵寝，此后为历代哲布尊仁波切的驻锡圣地，其位于蒙古国首都乌兰巴托的西北方 137英里，大殿中供有古鲁迪瓦仁波切等身像，当1992年寺庙开光之时，巴古拉仁波切与蒙古国总统皆亲自莅临。1996年此寺获选为联合国世界文化遗产(UNESCO)。寺内数十位僧众每月分批前往乌兰巴托向仁波切请法，1936年时僧众超过二千人。

古鲁迪瓦仁波切深受蒙藏印地区人民的爱戴

仁波切一生大力收集并印刷藏文经书，至今许多论文引用他所出版之众多书籍。庆宁寺的藏经阁中除了藏蒙大藏经，更包含汉文大藏经。仁波切亦于1990年在台湾创立宗喀巴佛学会，遍竖清净法幢，学会由五位色拉寺僧人常驻宏法。同时台湾弟子捐款重建包括庆宁寺在内许多寺院。古鲁迪瓦仁波切于蒙藏印等各地区广大安立七众，宏扬教证佛法事业，为许多蒙藏印人民所共赞叹。

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Amarbayasgalant Monastery | 庆宁寺

Amarbayasgalant monastery is dedicated to Zanabazar’s main tutelary deity, Maitreya. Unlike Erdene Zuu Monastery, which is an ensemble of temple halls of different styles, Amarbayasgalant shows great stylistic unity. The overriding style is Chinese, with some Mongol and Tibetan influence. The monastery resembles Yongzheng’s own palace Yonghegong in Beijing (converted by his son the QianAmarbayasgalant Monastery (Mongolian: Амарбаясгалант хийд Amurbayasqulangtu keyid) or the “Monastery of Tranquil Felicity”, is one of the three largest Buddhist monastic centers in Mongolia.

The monastery complex is located in the Iven Valley near the Selenge River, at the foot of Mount Büren-Khaan in Baruunbüren sum (district) of Selenge Province in northern Mongolia. The nearest town is Erdenet which is about 60 km to the southwest.

Amarbayasgalant Monastery was established and funded by order of Manchu Yongzheng Emperor (and completed under his successor the Qianlong Emperor) to serve as a final resting place for Zanabazar (1635–1723), the first Jebtsundamba Khutuktu, or spiritual head of Tibetan Buddhism for the Khalkha in Outer Mongolia and a spiritual mentor to both emperors’ ancestor, the Kangxi Emperor.[2] Tradition holds that while searching for an appropriate site to build the monastery, the exploratory group came across two young boys, Amur and Bayasqulangtu, playing on the steppe. They were inspired to build the monastery on that very spot and to name it after the two children, Amur-Bayasqulangtu. More likely, the location was chosen because it stood at the place where the lama’s traveling Da Khuree (his mobile monastery and prime residence) was encamped at the moment of the his death. Construction took place between 1727 and 1736 and Zanabazar’s remains were transferred there in 1779.

Originally consisting of over 40 temples, the monastery was laid out in a symmetrical pattern, with the main buildings succeeding one another along a North-South axis, while the secondary buildings are laid out on parallel sides.

Amarbayasgalant was one of the very few monasteries to have partly escaped destruction during the Stalinist purges of 1937, after which only the buildings of the central section remained. Many of the monks were executed by the country’s Communist regime and the monastery’s artifacts, including thangkas, statues, and manuscripts were looted.

All cultural elements including pastureland, location, settings, sacred sites and temples within the Monastery, burial sites and graves are an entirely authentic testimony to the Buddhist religious and sacred associations of the proposed property. Amarbayasgalant Monastery is the most authentic of the Buddhist monasteries that have been preserved in Mongolia after the 1930s political upheavals. Although, it has been damaged during these political victimization of national and religious culture, 28 temples were survived and protected by the State since 1944. The work of measuring and restoring this monastery began in 1972 with funds provided by UNESCO and private sources. The restorations of the Temple were performed with Monastery’s original materials and design archive photos.

庆宁寺

庆宁寺（蒙古语：Амарбаясгалантхийд Amurbayasqulangtu keyid）阿玛尔巴雅斯嘎朗寺或“宁静幸福寺”是蒙古三大寺院的佛教中心之一。寺庙群位于色愣格河附近的伊芬谷， 蒙古北部色楞格省巴伦布兰苏木区布艾仑- 思汗山的脚下。最近的城镇是额尔登特, 大约西南60公里。

庆宁寺在满清雍正皇帝的资助下建立（在乾隆皇帝的期间完成），作为第一哲布尊丹巴呼图克图，札那巴札尔（1635至1723年）的最后安息之地。哲布尊丹巴呼图克图为外蒙古喀尔喀族的和藏传佛教精神领袖，并为这两个皇帝的祖先康熙皇帝的国师。根据历史，在寻找合适的场地建寺院时，探索组遇见在草原上嬉戏的两个年轻男孩，阿穆尔和巴雅斯胡郎图。他们因而得到启发，在当地建寺院，并以两个男孩的名字命名，阿穆尔-巴雅斯胡郎图。更有可能的解释是，选择该地点是因为该地点为札那巴札尔圆寂时，他的达库伦（Da Khuree，即“帐部、居所”）的所在地。建设在1727和1736年之间进行，而札那巴札尔的遗体于1779年被转移到该处。

庆宁寺主要的本尊是札那巴札尔的本尊，弥勒佛。和额尔德尼召（寺院）不同风格的殿堂相比，庆宁寺的风格比较统一。寺院主要为中国建筑风格，也融入一些蒙藏的凤格。寺院的格式就像雍正帝在北京的宫殿雍和宫（他的儿子乾隆皇帝后来把雍和宫转换成佛教寺院）一样。最初由超过四十多间寺庙所组成，该寺院是一个对称图案的设置，该寺主要的建筑物沿南北轴建立，而辅助的建筑物在两旁平行。

庆宁寺的部分寺院是少数逃脱1937年斯大林“大清洗”的寺院，该寺主要建筑在洗劫过后幸存下来。许多僧侣被共产党政权处死，寺院的文物，其中包括唐卡、佛像、手稿等被洗劫一空。有幸的是，一些法器以及唐卡被僧众隐藏起来，以防止遭没收。

寺院所有的文化元素，包括草原、位置、设置、圣地、寺院内的寺庙、墓地和墓穴是对佛教文化以及与当地圣地关联的证明。庆宁寺是30年代政治动荡之后被保存的蒙古佛教寺院中最正统的寺院。虽然寺院在政治迫害过程中遭到破坏，28座寺庙幸免于难， 自1944年以来，受到国家的保护。修复工程始于1972年，由联合国教科文组织和私人提供的资助资金下进行。寺院的修复采用寺院的原有材料和依照存档照片的原图设计进行。

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