Guest Contributor – Charmaine Phoon
Article submitted by Charmaine Phoon
[TO BE VOTED ON! The article or video with the most number of views by 21 April 2013 will win a Manjushri statue!]
Submitted article for “BLOG COMPETITION: Invite back a Manjushri statue!”
“How both Tsem Rinpoche blog & Dharma influence had turned my wayward ways around.”
Dear Tsem Rinpoche,
First off, I thank you for always being so giving, tolerant, patient & compassionate to everyone including all sentient beings. You have revealed so much knowledge, life lessons and Dharma teachings to me & others in the world through your blog and videos.
My childhood was brimmed with resentment, hurt and jealousy. As my dad’s always abroad for business trips, I’m often left with elder sis and mum. Sis’s the apple of my mum’s eyes, so she always got all the attention whereas for me, I was the wayward child. I remembered vividly as a 16 year old, I had everything and yet I wasn’t happy, and furthermore on a daily basis, I indulged in cigarettes and alcohol starting from Jolly Shandy to Beer to Vodka to Whiskey & to all the hard liquor u can find. But it was never satisfying; it was like a never ending spiralling down path for me. As years of experience with alcoholism, I could never get drunk, never high, just numbing. It made me sleep better.
Every drinking session ends at about 4-5am, by the time I got back home to sleep; I will reek of alcohol & cigarettes. I was actually using alcoholism and smoking as silent ways to end my life abruptly, in fact I used to have absurd thoughts that those who had sudden deaths must have been really lucky. (*shocks)
Furthermore, as my business grew, things worsened, I started meeting new people who loved the exact lifestyle I did too. So we would all go drink and make merry till wee hours.
However things changed around July 2012, I couldn’t sleep, and I would wake up with nightmarish dreams and in cold sweat. I was sleeping only 2 hours a day & to make matters worse, my best friend was admitted into hospital for kidney and liver complications for the month, reason being: she was following my exact lifestyle and I felt that I was the one who caused her to be admitted.
Then I started meeting up with Mark (From MBF) & he introduced me to TsemRinpoche blog and his teachings sometime in August 2012. I started watching Tsem Rinpoche’s intriguing videos on YouTube and reading up more about Dharma teachings and how to transform one’s body, mind and speech. & as I go more in depth, I got to know about Lama Tsongkhapa, he is the embodiment of wisdom, compassion and spirituality. I became less temperamental, calmer, having more awareness & started turning down people who would only want to drink and party. I’m able to sleep soundly now at night after daily Sadhana & my pet dog Fluffy would always lie next to me and listen to the mantras I’m reciting.
Recently in March 2013, Fluffy was severely ill, she’s down with kidney stones, pancreatitis, liver problem, infected lymph nodes etc. & was even suspected to be suffering from Leukaemia and vets were saying it would take a miracle for Fluffy to heal and be healthy again. I was devastated; I was going to lose my best friend of 8 years, I was emotionally crushed. Further which I told Jay Jae about Fluffy’s critical condition, & he immediately helped me to do a Medicine Buddha Puja for Fluffy. I sincerely thank all who prayed for Fluffy during her lengthy stay in hospital. Fluffy is now discharged & she is free of Leukaemia. Even vets told me it was an absolute miracle.
I no longer need to seek solace and refuge in mental habitual delusions, instead I have found a more beneficial way to live my life now & how to benefit others with what I have learnt & imply it into my daily life & conduct.
Long Life to My Guru Tsem Rinpoche
Yours Sincerely: Charmaine
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Dear Charmaine,
Thank you for sharing such a heart felt story with us. Your story is so honest and touching. I’m very glad that you met the Dharma and Rinpoche at the dark times of your life. I am very happy for you that you are able to overcome your inner ‘demons’ and realize that your life is more meaningful than just drinking and smoking which is very harmful to your body. =)
I am also very happy that your Fluffy is well now. Fluffy is super adorable! hehe
May you be blessed by the 3 Jewels always!
Thank you for sharing, Rinpoche! =)
Hi Jessica,
thank u for your well wishes. 🙂 Appreciate it lots.
I wish u all the best + with the pink of health always to u & ur family + loved ones.
“Om Ah Guru Kirti Daza Shasen Dara Kyandi Siddhi Hung Hung”
What people will do and say for publicity is real amazing
Dear Charmaine,
Wonderful sharing. I am glad that Fluffy survived through such a critical time in her life. I totally understand what you said. Not too long ago, my 11 year old dog was paralyzed on all 4 limbs. We sent him to the vet and they said there is really nothing much we can do, plus surgery is totally not possible as the surgery would be on the neck bone… an animal surgeon that is not available in Malaysia. So we hope for the best through medication and did Medicine Puja for him.
Just after 3 days, the vet called me to take him back. He is not totally healed but he can stand! He was still very weak, but compared to the first time I sent him to the vet, he couldn’t even sit… now he can stand.
We must understand that illness obviously comes from karma, but behind karma, there is also spirituality that will help us by several methods. Perhaps by delaying the negative karma from ripening, or even if it does, it will be controlled.
Dear Sarah,
thank you for reading my blog post & the wise comments that you have posted.
Hope all’s well with your furbaby now.
All the best wishes to you and your family. 🙂
Wow Charmaine Phoon, I really enjoyed reading your story and could relate to it a lot because I also had a similar experience as yours as a child growing up. I did not indulge in alcohol to numb the pain though, instead I indulged in designer drugs lol – how glamorous – NOT. I am so happy that you found MBF and so happy that JJ helped you with Fluffy. You are very fortunate to have found such a “real” friend like JJ and I believe this is due to some good merits you have, perhaps collected in a previous life. Well, what mater and is inspiring to see you turn a new leaf and decided to chose a path where there is real “happiness and peace”, the Dharma!
Thank you so much for sharing such a personal story with the world on this blog. I am sure you will inspire many who have also had a similar experience as your good self! I also stopped all my nonsense after meeting Tsem Rinpoche and at that time, there was no YouTube so it was quite amazing getting the teaching live 🙂
Hi Joy,
thank you for your kind words.
& I’m glad & proud of all including you 🙂 who truly reformed after reading and apprehending Rinpoche’s teachings.
“Om Ah Guru Kirti Daza Shasen Dara Kyandi Siddhi Hung Hung”
Thank You for sharing your story with us Charmaine! So glad to know that Rinpoche’s teachings have benefited you so much, i’m so touched by your story. Good to know Fluffy is fully recovered now, she is super cute! May you and Fluffy have good health and long life!
Love, beatrix.
Dear Beatrix,
thank you for your kind words. Appreciate it loads with lots of furry hugs from Fluffy. 🙂
I wish you all the best & let’s all work hard, no matter which part of the world we are based at to benefit others with Rinpoche’s teachings & wise quotes on his blog, face book & twitter.
“Om Ah Guru Kirti Daza Shasen Dara Kyandi Siddhi Hung Hung”
Thanks for sharing Charmaine Phoon, we should always practice more, learn more and do more Dharma that help us to be a better person.
Despite of this, we may share our own experience to help others…
Hi Lim,
thanks for leaving a comment & yes we must all incorporate what we have learnt in Dharma & add them into our daily life, mannerisms & actions. Be very mindful & compassionate towards others is key.
Om Mani Padme Hum _/\_
Fantastic Charmaine! i didnt even know about this story until i read this. I must have missing out quite a bit. I’m happy that you realised how much dharma is benefiting you and many others. Continue to put your energy into MBF. Use what we’ve learnt from Rinpoche’s blog and from JJ and Joshua.
Let’s make it big! 🙂
Thank you Kelvin!~ 😀
& yes, let’s work towards MBF flourishing goals~ 😀
Om Mani Padme Hum _/\_
Dear Charmaine,
When I was reading your post, something was very familiar about it. LOL…
Like you I have spent much time indulging in the wrong ‘happiness’ and thinking that it is right. And the damage that I have caused my family was just so wrong.
Rinpoche and Kechara have made me realized how much time I have wasted in those samsaric activities which brought me more unhappiness than happiness yet I couldn’t care less and continued doing it. Well, nothing is too late so long as we start now.
I am very happy that you have benefitted much from Rinpoche and you are benefiting those in need in return. I am also very happy that Fluffy is alright and well. He is lucky to have your care, love and mantras. May the both of you and your family continue to receive the Blessings from Manjushri. Take care…
Dear Tenzin llhamo,
firstly thank you so much for your well wishes, you’re very kind.
I will keep you & family in my prayers for blessings to be upon you all too.
& yes, it’s never too late to change for the better, as long as we reflect our daily actions & implement Dharma teachings to rid our bad habits, we will make a permanent stop to the mental delusions we used to have & start using our time more wisely on how to benefit others etc.
Do take care too. _/\_
Om Ah Ra Ba Tsa Na Dhi
Charmaine ah Charmaine.
I am happy for you that Tsem Rinpoche blog’s & youtube teaching
benefit a lot for the better’s .
Dear Mark,
i thank you sincerely for introducing me to Rinpoche’s Blog & getting to know other selfless big hearted people from MBF like JJ, Joshua, Cody, Charlie, Alexis, Kelvin, Fiona, Louis, Elsie, Uncle Teo & many more.
& also not forgetting the awesome Kechara team, who live, pray & speak Dharma. Very selfless people.
“Advice for one’s person’s practice, he stopped all misconduct:
May the conqueror Losang’s teachings flourish!”
Dear Charmaine,
What an wonderful testimony you are sharing and I sense such relieve in your words which I myself identify with. Rinpoche’s Dharma is like fresh air that burst through a window nailed shut by ourselves awhile back, during which time we have been breathing the fumes of our own toxicity. I am glad you have found our Guru and I am very glad you have the ever gifted and capable JJ to lead you on a journey that we are all walking.
I wish you great learning in the Dharma and hope that you will become closer and closer to our Guru as the months go by. Good news to know that Fluffy is well. She’s is a cute mumu.
Dear Martin,
thank you so much for your kind words & well wishes.
Let’s all pray for more people to be able to connect with ever selfless Rinpoche & JJ and to actualize what they had been conveying in their teachings all this time & benefiting others with our own improved mind transformation.
“Om Ah Guru Kirti Daza Shasen Dara Kyandi Siddhi Hung Hung”
Dear Charimaine,
It is hard to believe you were such a party animal as described in your article.
I am glad we all found Tsem Rinpoche’s blog which changed our lives for the better.
I am still a monster mom and hence I have monster children. But work is in progress to be a better person. Daryl even tells me that he is here to test and build up my patience and reminds me of the 8 verses of mind transformation! He sure knows how to apply what is taught!
At least Fluffy do not talk back!
I am truly happy and grateful to have met all the wonderful people at Kechara and in Modern Buddhist Fellowship in Singapore.
Cheers..
P.S. I do not need Lord Manjushri to give me wisdom to understand that the kids want a pet.. they can pray all they want. Perhaps you can loan Fluffy for a day and Alysa and Daryl can make believe its their dog. Fluffy will be in safe hands! 😉
Dear Alexis,
i believe ur adorable children will provide the best loving conditions for Fluffy. & that they will provide her with lots of TLC. 😉
Never say never sweetz, one day i think their prayers will be answered and they will get a lovable pet to call their own.(winks) 😀
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Dear Charmaine
Thank you for being so honest and sharing your deepest darkest moments and I am very happy that Rinpoche’s teachings have turned your life around. There are so many people’s whose lives are touched by Rinpoche and there are so many people like you who can be helped by Rinpoche’s unerring wisdom and compassion. I’m happy that Fluffy recovered too, though it is not that prayers can necessarily create miracles all the time (though i have seen A LOT personally) because it is the person/animal’s karma in the end so i am glad Fluffy had the karma to be cured 🙂
All the best to you on your beautiful Dharma journey!
Dear Sharon,
thank you so much for your kind words,
I love reading ur twitter & blog. 🙂
Keep up the great inspirational works everyone at Kechara,
& Dear Rinpoche for leaving a permanent positive imprint in my life.
Om Mani Padme Hum