Guest Contributor – Sharon Ong
Article submitted by Sharon Ong
Winning article for “A Chance To Bring Home Medicine Buddha — For Free!!”
On June 2011, our world was forever changed. Mum suffered a massive stroke. When we arrived at the Emergency Room, we could not believe what was happening. Our Mum could hardly speak. Her left limbs were paralysed. My heart broke when she did not acknowledge me when I called her. Then, I realised that she could not hear or see me from her left side. Even in this condition, she asked my husband, “Why did you travel so far this late to come here? How’re the kids?”
I did not sleep a wink that night. I was so afraid that she would die. I felt utterly helpless and all I could think of doing was to chant “Om Mani Peme Hung” over and over again by her bedside. I lost count of the rounds of my chanting beads went through my fingers but it helped me stay sane and focused on the task at hand which to pull my family together to help my mum through this.
Somehow, she pulled through. Although she was physically paralysed but her strength and positive spirit were thankfully still intact. She had difficulties in swallowing and when we made jokes about our porridge, she would say that it was yummy and kept eating. It was hard to see our Mum so helpless but it was even harder for her to see her children “camping” in the hospital and tending to her every need. Although her prognosis was grim, she kept herself positive. This rubbed off on all of us. We could only imagine how hard it was for her to go through exhausting physiotherapy sessions but she gamely did all her exercises. Every little progress was a celebration for us.
One of the hardest things for her was to be dependent on us for her bowel movements. It must have been so uncomfortable for her. I have had my fair share of diaper changing but nothing prepared me for diaper changing a stroke patient. During the first few days, Mum patiently endured our clumsy and sometimes disastrous attempts at diaper change. Diaper changes were really exhausting for her but she was more concerned about us getting tired. Many stroke patients would just lie there passively and let their caregiver change them. Not our Mum. She made it easier for us to change her by actively moving her body as much as she was able to.
Just 4 short months after her stroke, my Mum surprised her doctor by walking into his clinic aided by our nurse and a walking stick. Her neurosurgeon told us that she may never walk again or move her left limbs. Her positive spirit and resilience proved him wrong.
It has been about a year and a half as I write this. While my Mum has made tremendous progress given the severity of her stroke, she was recently diagnosed with dementia. It really pains me to see her suffering with each physical and mental faculty slowly but surely deteriorating. I have been finding ways to try to help her ease her sufferings. From making her physically comfortable, cooking her nice food to buying Dharma related books/DVDs. I see that she is keen to learn more about the Dharma but in her current mental capacity, she has difficulty trying to understand and let alone remember even the basics. I have been encouraging her to keep chanting the only mantra that she is able to remember which is “Om Mani Peme Hung”.
I have accepted that it would take a miracle to cure her condition. I am not too sure how but I think that a Medicine Buddha will help bring her some healing. Maybe not to her physical body but to her mind. And to me, the healing of the mind is more important and if my Mum is able to find some inner peace, I am grateful.
My Mum having one of her first physio therapy sessions. Taken in 2011.
My son doing the “soja”, traditional Baba Nyonya Chinese New Year greetings to my Mum and Dad. Taken during the recent Chinese New Year.
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Dear Sharon,
I can relate to this on a deeper level as I’ve been taking care both my grandparents-in-law and my own Dad, especially the part on changing diapers and losing control of their bowel movements. They felt helpless and yet will try their best to make us at ease. It’s their mental strength that kept them alive for as long as they could. However, in your case, I’m glad that you have Buddhism and your mum still. Buddhism wasn’t part of my life, not until after they have passed on.
I’m glad to have known you till now and love your FB updates from time to time. Till then, do take care
Dear Sharon Ong,
It is sad that every minute that’s to come anything could suddenly happen to any of our loved ones.
Though you, I and many other Buddhists out there are not Enlightened yet don’t give up because even though we are not Enlightened yet there Buddha’s like Medicine Buddha who is the healing Buddha to help our loved one who are suffering so painfully
until the point that we just can’t stand it anymore.
I know what is feels like to have one’s mother or grandmother suffering from stroke as my grandmother who has suffered from stroke for 2-3 years and I just cannot explain how much the pain is when I saw my grandmother in the hospital 2 years ago….. for 2 to 3 year it actually seemed ok until about 3 to 4 months ago things started to get worse and she slowly started to get weaker and weaker that finally she came to a point that she was so weak she just passed on peacefully in the early morning of a weekday.
Though it has been 3 to 4 months now I feel very lucky that I had been able to be in the Dharma and able to collect Merits for here so that she can take rebirth in a better place.
To me what you have done during that very difficult time of yours is basically the right thing to be done and I am very happy to know that she is slightly better now as well as she is more inclined to the Dharma now.
Whatever Good Deeds you do now should be dedicated to your mother so that if she were to pass on at any point of time the Merits you dedicated to her would help bring her to a better place.
I agree with you on what you say is that the healing of the mind is much more important not just for her inner peace but also for her to be able to digest and understand the Dharma Teachings more easily.
Congratulations on winning a Medicine Buddha Statue and I hope that with this statue and your prayer your mother will heal swiftly.
With Much Prayers to your Mom
Jutika
Hi, Jutika
Sorry to hear about the loss of your grandma. Physically, my mum may not be improving much at this point but I sincerely hope that she will be spiritually much better now.
It is my fondest wish to collect merits (as much as I can) for my mum and also for the rest of my love ones, alive or otherwise. I pray that your beloved grandma will take a better rebirth.
All my best wishes to you and your family. May your Dharma practice flourish in all your lifetimes. Thank you for your prayers.
Thank you for sharing your mum story and may it be an inspiration for others in same situation.The Medicine Buddha is especially effective for healing purposes,may Medicine Buddha help your mum recovery as soon as possible.May all your family blessed by the 3 jewels !!
Dear June,
Thank you for the good wishes. It is my sincere hope that those who are in similiar situation know that every difficult situation is not all bad as we learn something about life and ourselves. May you and your family be blessed by the Triple Gems.
In life, our obstacle and negative karma will come almost immediately, whether we prepared or not, when it come, it comes right to us, no way to run, no way to avoid, we just have to accept it whether we like it or not.
Despite of what’s happening to your mum, at least now she is getting some Dharma knowledge, although she may be taking baby steps to learn the Dharma, but it is still much better than not having it at all.
Thank you Sharon for your story, may all our prayers reach your mum..
Dear Albert,
Thank you for your prayers. May you be well and happy always!
I am very glad that Sharon, my loving daughter, has developed a strong bondage towards Buddhism. I believe is it partly from the inspiration of John Fam and for that my sincere thanks. I shall print out all these beautiful comments and read them to my dear wife. On behalf of my loving better half E Meng Chui, thank you very much for sparing your time to share your kind and sincere thoughts. May God Bless You All.
Hi, Dad
So sweet of you for calling me your loving daughter. 🙂 Love is a 2-way street. It is easy to be loving towards you and Mummy as the both of you have always shown us much love and care.
I must say that I am so proud of the way you have handled everything. Your patience, compassion and huge love for Mummy is exemplary.
I sincerely hope that you and Mummy will be blessed by this Medicine Buddha with good health, long life and inner peace. I am so glad that you are my Dad in this life time.
Dear Sharon thanks for sharing ur story with us, u bring the best gift (Dharma) for ur mother.
May she always bless by 3 jewels, and may she recover soon…
Dear Lim,
Thank you for your lovely comment. May you and your family be blessed with good health, peace and happiness.
Dear Sharon
I can understand what you went through looking after your mum. I too had to look after my late mum (with the aid of a maid) who spent the last few years of her life bed-ridden.
It is not easy caring for ailing people who are bed-ridden as their dead-weight takes a toll physically on the carer if not properly handled.
May you continue to have the strength (in all ways) to love and care for your mum as always.
Dear Girlie,
Caring for a sick or disabled parent is a huge challenge physically, emotionally and mentally. I am so glad that I met a helpful nursing aide who taught me the techniques of diaper change, bed baths and moving my mum. Without proper techniques, I would have pulled my back out.
Thank you for your wonderful wishes.
Dear Sharon,
Thank you for sharing your story, May your mum bless by Medicine Buddha and get well soon. Your mum is lucky had your care and support to have Buddha prayer to help your mum to recover and also planted dharma seed in her mind.
With prayer,
Pastor Chia
Dear Pastor Chia,
Thank you for your kind words and prayers. I do hope that she will be blessed to find her inner peace and better health.
Dear Sharon,
Thank You for sharing your story. I’m sorry for what had happened to you mother. Your mom is sure a strong and determined lady, I’m very glad to know that your mom is well now. I wish you and your family the best throughout the years! Take care
Love, beatrix.
Dear Beatrix,
Thank you for your kind words and wishes. All the best to you.
Dear Sharon, when I read your post, I couldn’t hep but tear.. You express yourself through words very well.. I really felt your emotions even though im just reading. You’re such a loving daughter..
I wish the best for you and your mother and may everyone be healthy and happy always..
For me, I think one of the best gifts we could give our loved ones would be the gift of Dharma..planting Dharmic seeds/teachings so that they would have the good fortune to meet the Dharma again in their future lives.. Sometimes our loved ones might not be able to accept Dharma right away, but we could plant the seeds now and hope that it will ripen ASAP.. I only wish my parents would be as receptive as Sharon Ong’s mother..
Thank you for sharing, Rinpoche!
Dear Jessica,
Thank you for your kind words and best wishes. I couldnt agree more with you that Dharma is the one of the best gift one could give to our love ones. And sometimes, some people may not be able to accept the Dharma so readily. Although we would like them to accept and start practising right away, they dont or wont or cant. I think that by trying to plant seeds into them and having the patience to lovingly share with them could also be part of our own practice.
I wish you all the best of luck in the world and hope that your parents will find the Dharma soon. Keep trying and praying. I believe that one day, your efforts will bear fruit.:)
I absolutely love the smile of the kid , so bright, I am so happy this young boy will be able to hold his Buddha! Good luck to the whole family! <3
Dear Lini,
And I too love the smile and the person. 🙂 He had the pleasure to hold the Buddha all the way home. Thank you for your kind words.
Thanks Sharon for sharing the story. Your mom is certainly and strong lady and with her strong and caring mind, may she be better every day.
It’s glad to hear that you brought more Dharma to her. It’s very good to plant more Buddha’s seed to people to make them have affinity with Buddha. May your lovely mom be blessed by the Three Jewels, and get really well soon. _/\_
Hi, Jace!
It was great to finally meet you this afternoon. Thank you for taking the time to drop a lovely comment here. Appreciate all your kind wishes.
You have an amazing mum too. May you and your compassionate Mum be forever blessed by the Three Jewels.
Dear Sharon,
Thank you for your story. You do have a wonderful story to share of your mum. I like your mum’s character and resilience. The way she take things is very different from what I have heard of many older and younger people. The way she took her condition speaks to me of a very giving and spiritual person.
I am amazed and inspired and if I ever encounter a condition like her, may I be able to take it on with as much grace and acceptance as she does. I understand that being paralyzed must be a terrifying condition to be in and we do not know when death will come. That’s an even scarier proposition for all of us. So, I understand technically what your mother must be going through and I am just amazed at her strength.
Dear David,
Thank you for your kind words. I totally agree with you. I know of a number of strokees who gave up without even trying. They have this “Please let me die now” attitude. Her resilience spurred me to try all I can to help her get better.
Am glad that she is able to inspire you. She will be thrilled to hear that.:) We are all amazed at her strength and her strength is one of the reasons how she got to where she is today. I wrote this piece to offer some hope to strokees and their caregivers. Medicine and science can some times be wrong. Just like what her doctor told me. “I cant really explain how your mum can recover this fast given how bad her stroke is when she came in. I think there is a higher power at work here.”
Sharon, Thank you for sharing this story; I know it must not be easy for you to write this. I feel your sadness very much for I am also extremely close to my mother too, but the strength and love that you and your family have for her is very evident and she is lucky to have a daughter like you. I am really glad that a Medicine Buddha will be going to her very soon and yes, he will bring lots of blessings to her. And even reciting just Om Mani Peme Hung is very powerful so if she just does that, that is wonderful too.
I wish you all the best healing, love and peace in the world, for you, your mother and your family.
Om mani peme hung!
Hi, Paris
It was both easy and difficult to write this piece. People keep saying that my mum is lucky to have me as a daughter. But I think I am the lucky one for having her as my mum in this life time. I know I have inherited some of her quirks and I sincerely hope that I have inherited some of her wonderful qualities such as strength and selflessness.
Thank you for the lovely wishes. Here’s me wishing you and your family all the blessings of the Triple Gem.
Thank you Sharon for sharing this story. Your mother is a strong lady with a positive attitude and she did not let her sickness dampened her spirits. I am glad that through her illness, she is able to meet the dharma and recite mantra. You winning the Medicine Buddha and inviting to your home will bring tremendous blessings to your mother.
Reciting Medicine Buddha mantra Tayata Om Bekanze Bekanze Maha BeKanze BeKanze Radza Samudgate Soha will purify negative karma and will help us never to be reborn in the lower realms. Even if animals hear this mantra they will never be reborn in the lower realms.
Your mother is blessed to have you and your siblings by her side diligently taking care of her with love at the time when she needed most.
Dear Patsy,
My mother is an exceptional lady. Am so glad to have her as my mum in this life time. Thank you for the brief explanation about the Medicine Buddha. I will be teaching my mum this mantra.
Am blessed to have her as my mum.
Dear Sharon,
Thank, you for sharing a story that I’m sure is very personal to you and your family. My grandmother too have something almost similar to your mother’s condition. Although it is not dementia, but my grandmother suffers from Alzheimer disease that is quite terminal already. As we all know, there is no turning back for diseases such as these (at least based on modern science), but we sure can do all we can do make sure their life is as comfortable as possible and prevent any disease progression.
I would like to congratulate you for winning this price, and celebrate the love you have for your mother. She truly is lucky that in this life, at such a late stage she still managed to meet the Dharma and even manage to recite Om Mani Padme Hung.
Dear Sarah,
Am sorry to hear about your grandmother. Alzheimer’s is not an easy disease to deal with and my prayers go out to you and your family. Hope that all will be well for you and your grandma.
Hi, Sharon. Thank you for sharing this story of your mum. I am touched by the care and consideration she has shown her loved ones and carers, even when she has been so severely handicapped by her stroke. I am equally touched by the way you and your family have enveloped her with the warmth of your love.
She is a gutsy lady and is determined to do what she can to help herself. I am glad that she has ,at least, learned to recite Om Mani Padme Hum. This is a very powerful mantra which I have learned (through an experience with a friend who was dying) brings a lot of calm and healing and peace to the mind. Medicine Buddha and His mantra are also powerful for healing, including inner healing or healing of the mind.May you mum be blessed with a peaceful and calm mind.
Dear Pastor Han Nee,
My mum has given us so much love and care. It was our turn to return the love and care. Am glad we had the opportunity to repay her love and kindness in this life time. Thank you for your wonderful comment and am sure my mum will be happy to read this.
Wow… Sharon thank you for your beautiful sharing about your mother. I am touched by your story of her that even though she has a stroke she does not take advantage of her situation and just be a poor me vegetable. Her character tells me she is a lady with dignity and has a positive attitude. Inspiring how she would do her best to move herself to allow her kids to help her clean.
As her children you guys are doing an excellent job in showing your mother love and compassion at the time she needs it most. I salute you guys for this and I am sure Medicine Buddha will bless her tremendously because of her attitude. Thank you for sharing such a sincere story 🙂
Dear Joy,
I am so grateful for her positive attitude and strength. She made it much easier for us to cope. I hope that if am ever in the same situation, I would be able to be just like her.
It’s easy to show her our love and compassion as she helped instil those values in us.:) Thank you for your lovely comments. Am sure my mum would be happy to read this.
[…] « Sharon Ong BLOG COMPETITION: Invite back a Manjushri statue! […]
It was a mixed feeling for me when I read Sharon’s article. Sad as that a severe stoke hit your mom, and also the pain, suffering and the ordeal that her Mom have to go thru, but happy as Sharon’s mom has come to know about dharma and and learn to chant mantra. She is a very strong lady, and with her condition she tries not to burden her family. She does not lay her suffering on others, in fact she understands, such a big Heart!
When Sharon’s wrote the last paragraph “I have accepted that it would take a miracle to cure her condition. I am not too sure how but I think that a Medicine Buddha will help bring her some healing. Maybe not to her physical body but to her mind. And to me, the healing of the mind is more important and if my Mum is able to find some inner peace, I am grateful.”…..it is such a great realisation and acceptance. Ultimately, our mind will move on when our physical body is gone.
Just being there for your mom physically, prayers, dharma is the greatest and priceless you have given to her.
I salute you, Sharon. Om Mani Padme Hum.
Dear Doreen,
Thank you for your lovely comment about my mum and I couldnt agree more. Her strength and selflessness are 2 things that I hope to be able to emulate.
Om Mani Padme Hum. May you and your family be blessed by the Triple Gems in this life time and many life times to come.
Dear Sharon,
Thank you very much for sharing the difficulty, pain and joy, you and your family went through. It is true, it is really painful to see our loved ones being in pain and being so helpless at the same time. It was not easy for me to take care of my grandma and grandpa at first but I realised that it was the only chance I can ever repay their kindness and love they they showered on me when I was younger. They showed and made me realise that 1 day, I too will be old and have to go through the same thing. I am glad I had the chance to take care of them before their passing. Once again, thank you and I pray that your mum will continue to be better and do encourage to continue doing her prayers. Perhaps you can get her Mantra singing CDs (eg. Medicine Buddha) and play it everyday for her to hear.
Dear tenzin llhamo,
It is wonderful that you had the opportunity to take care of your grandparents and I bet that you did a good job. Am glad that you were able to repay their love and kindness while they were still alive. Thank you for your prayers and suggestions.
Dear Sharon,
I am so sorry to hear about what happened to your dearest mummy. Tears was at the brim of my eyes before half way reading your story. Your mum surely has a lot of positive spirits, and I am happy to hear that her children have been with her during her difficult time.
Reading this very first story in the race of winning Medicine Buddha, I feel that this competition has such a great spirit behind this, at the end of the day, yes, perhaps being able to receive a blessed Medicine Buddha is a great thing, but overall, I feel that it is a nice campaign to bring all different kind of real life stories to the surface, for us to feel and see the pains and the joys surrounding us.
Life is fragile. And I am very thankful that your mummy has so much care and love around her.
Each family has an unique way of interacting. Perhaps a short one hour of telling her story of Buddhas will be beneficial for her. I truly like your idea of asking her to chant ‘Om Mani Padme Hung’.
I wish your mummy well. Do stay strong.
Dear Sheryl,
Thank you for your lovely suggestion and wishes. I am truly grateful that I have such wonderful siblings and Dad. Without them, it would have been extremely hard to cope. You know there is a silver lining behind every dark cloud. This has shown us how much strength we have and together, we can overcome practically anything as a family.
Dear Sharon
Thank you very much for the post. It has given me an opportunity to arise Bodhichitta! How wonderful it is to have gone through it once so that the mind of compassion arises in everyone of us.The mind of loving kindness is what we aspire for. I wish and pray for your MOM to get well soon. At least she knows how to chant a powerful Mantra of Avalokiteshshvara, “OM MANI PADMEY HUNG HRI” the buddha of compassion in sound form, that itself is a great blessing and it has definitely profound healing power! May your MOM recover soon and live happy and healthy life!!!
Dear Samten Lhendup,
Thank you for the kind words and wishes. May you blessed by the Triple Gems.
May Triple Gems Bless and always with your mum. May she free from all suffering, recover and happy. There is a traditional Buddhist Physio Therapy and healing method promote by a group of buddhist volunteers in some local Buddhist organizations. The method focus on activate back body energy flow, acupuncture points, chakras,reflex areas, spine etc. It is very effective healing method that helped lots of people regain their health. I sincerely suggest that u may try to understand n evaluate this method , c whether can ease your mum suffering physically n mentally. U can learn this method n help your mum to do the physio therapy. If u want to know more , i may email u the info to u ( in chinese only).
Dear JJ, Thank you for the wonderful recommendation. As my mum is in Melaka, do you think you would be able to find out if this therapy is available there? Thanks in advance!
I will check for u. BTW, if u stay in Klang Valley got time ,u may try to pay a visit to ( Amitabha Buddha Everday Liberation Buddhist Association ) , in Seri Kembangan , in the Mines waterfront office block. Every Friday , 8pm to 12am , a group of volunteers will do the therapy services for public n teach people over there. i am also one of the volunteer. u can come n learn n teach some family member in melaka to for yr mum. Om Ara Ba Sha Nadhi.
Thank you for sharing your story. Prayers to you, your mother, and your family during this time. _/|\_
Thank you for your prayers. May you and your family be well and happy always.
Dear Sharon,
Thank you for sharing your story. I am sure there are many people out there who have similar experiences caring for their parents who are no longer well. My father has also been ill for a few years and he is scared to death of developing dementia, yet he is not willing to embrace dharma 🙁 but i shall of course keep trying.
At least your mum is open to dharma and can recite one mantra. The best gift we can give our loved ones is the dharma so that we can benefit them on the ultimate level.
All best wishes to you,
Sharon
Hi, Sharon! I did not think that my story would be chosen. 🙂 Sorry to hear about your father. I guess dementia is one of the things that many would fear as we lose control of our mental and physical faculties. I am glad that she is able to recite that one mantra. Now I will try to teach her another one.:) Hope that all will be well for you and your family.