Don’t be a Saint
Dear friends,
I realize there are just some who karmically cannot shift their minds to higher thoughts of enlightenment embarking on it through cultivation of the 8 Verses, 50 Stanzas, Wheel of Sharp Weapons, Bodhicitta or be inspired by the saints. They just think on the level they think. Saints such as the glittering Shantideva, hardworking Naropa, devoted Milarepa or advanced Ghantapa has no inspiration on them at all. I realize their days and nights pass in how to fulfill the 8 Worldly Dharmas and not avert it. I realize all that. But on a practical day to day level to want name, fame, money, respect, praise and power by overriding others wouldn’t work long term either. Or by ignoring the needs of our compatriots or to just blatantly be sneaky with information, control and manipulations cannot be overlooked, ignored or remain undiscovered forever. To lie in our speech day in and day out and think all imbecilic or dense is not practical at all. Even taking advantage of others must be based on some evidence of truth of how we size others up! Eventually we will be found out. We will be found out and then where does that lead us.
To want recognition, name and some power or money is understood but let the ones surrounding us on a daily basis have some too or at least don’t keep using them until you burn your bridges. Don’t treat those around us insignificantly or just as convenient methods to reach our goals. Because those around us will not remain silent and will rise up and speak and expose us. Therefore in the end we gain nothing.
Don’t take advantage of those around us. We can’t be a saint, but don’t be a devil. We can achieve what we want better if we were genuine with the people around us and have a smattering of loyalty, genuine care and agenda-less giving from time to time. Do our work, pay what we owe, never let them chase for loans from us. Money can break couples and even families apart. Never make people chase us for what we owe. If we treat everyone around us like stepping stones, in the end we will be stepped on. Their feelings for us will be stone cold. People are patient and are forgiving, but not permanently if we keep assuming them as just donkeys to be used for our purposes repeatedly. People are not donkeys or stepping stones but something to be treasured, respected and or at least be genuine with. Even donkeys or any animals should not be treated badly. In life, during our youth or middle age or old age, it’s who we loved, who loved us, what love we have in our hearts and the compassion we have that makes us missed, respected and thought kindly of. That is all that matters. Then it’s the final darkness when we close our eyes forever. We are but just specs of light or darkness in the universe. We choose to be which one.
Don’t be a saint and that is fine. Cannot be a saint and that is fine. But at least be human. Being human means to have some civilized respect for others and not just use others for our own selfish purposes. To have some empathy and care on some level. Every action we do or don’t do should not be for selfishly moving ahead of others. Have respect for those around us and don’t use them, abuse them and not care about them. Don’t just see them as objects to be used for you to rise up. What goes up must come down or before you go up, you might never rise as people might not cooperate. Believe in karma or at least cause and effect. Believe in this and temper your minds with it. It goes a long way.
Don’t use people. Be fair. Give and take. Be human as much as you can and at times if you fail at least don’t be a devil. Be open on your faults as people are not blind and forthright in improving because you stand to benefit. Do really improve. Don’t keep apologizing to cover or deceive. Do your share of your allotted work and carry your load. Have some integrity. Integrity and doing work need not be spiritual but the actual stepping stones to what you want to achieve. Being human, courteous, respectful with integrity are timeless qualities for both the ‘godly’ and ‘ungodly’. Achieve our basic human wants or more but with the correct methods. Don’t use or abuse others ever. Remember, everyone needs someone. So better we be nice to some at least. Remember the world is not our oyster, but we are just a blind turtle in the big ocean of samsara.
I myself try to do the above and I do fail, but I rest in the fact I am definitely improving by leaps and bound and will continue to because everyone around me is worth it. I am worth it. Those around me are worth it for sure. I can’t get anywhere without others and that is practical and real.
Tsem Rinpoche
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Dear Rinpoche, I’ve picked this topic as our blog discussion tonight. Ani Chodron, Jun, and Karen were here in the blog chat and I appreciate what they have shared in the chat.
For me, in conclusion – I see it as a compassionate reminder that perfection isn’t required. What matters is sincerity, respect, and empathy. Even small acts of humanity carry more weight than pretending to be holy.
Thank you Rinpoche.
Thank you Rinpoche for this precious teachings. To be ourselves always and a reminder for us not to be a saint. We are not enlightened being after all. Sometimes we don’t realize our own strengths until someone tries to take advantage of our weaknesses. We live just one life, so don’t take advantage of others, make our life more meaningful by doing more dharma work , learn and practice dharma will be the best choice. Everyone needs to learn to respect themselves and stop letting others take advantage of it.
Thanks again with folded hands.
This is a very important lesson for us. We are not enlightened being but that doesn’t mean we can be mean and take advantage towards everyone in chasing of fame, money, success, relationship and etc. We have to be mindful of our intention.
We don’t live alone but in a community. Do not take others for granted. We are to live and support each other. Our every thoughts and action should always concerning everyone and not self centered. Although we are not saint but we can learn to be better everyday.
Thank you Rinpoche for your teaching.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you for sharing this powerful message. No man is an island. In this world , everything is dependent on everything. Nothing is truly on its own especially us.
I have heard a quote saying that if you want success, you have to depend on yourself only. It totally took out the people around us that worked with us out of the equation. To me this is not the right way. No one can achieve big without help or assistance of others. If they think that they are too good and starts to devalue the people around them, they will eventually lose the help and falls down. The reason why they will think in this way because of their ego. Ego makes us selfish people that cherishes only oneself. It blinds us from the reality that the people around us are equally important and worth to be cared for. Ego is the source of our suffering.
Humbly,
Chris chong
Everyone wants some form of success. As success means you have results from your endeavours from the smallest or mundane task to work that could potentially benefit millions. Results is just a yardstick for us to check where we are and are we closer to an ultimate goal(s) of sorts? To have success, we need others help and support, even a clever businessman relies on his staff to help him achieve the next goal he is aiming for. So sharing of success with others, will help others to build themselves with more confidence and sharing is an aspect of emotional generosity, so we must do it with the people we work with.
Thank you Rinpoche for this precious lesson. It is applicable in our spiritual and worldly pursuits. Making use of the people around us to achieve our own selfish goals will only bring us short term success. When those who have been kind to us realize they have been used, we will lose their friendship and respect. It is most important to treasure everyone around us instead of seeing them as something we can use.
Now for all us to escape this cycle of life which we have been so fettered, many of us may yet never have developed the wish to escape. Most, have got so attached to the “good things of this circle of life”, that they do not have the wish to escape its realty, until its too late. This “cycle of life” is how people spin on around, again-and-again living in the impure groups of things, thinking all these make up a normal “suffering-living”, which became an unbroken stream from life to life. I believe that is what chained us to this impure cycle of our life, due to our bad deeds and accumulated Karma. What our Guru advised is perfectly logical,”In the world, we are not our oyster, but we are just a blind turtle in the big ocean of samsara.” We are no saint either, but it’ll insane if we think we are one, with all due respect. Thank you, Rinpoche, for this wake-up call and your precious teaching on how to be a kind, courteous and respectful human being, having a belief in Karma and its cause and effect!
It makes perfect sense that we are not enlightened nor we are expected to act like one, but that doesn’t means that we can act out of selfishness, to use people for our own agenda and show no respect, care, concern etc.
Being a human is being someone who live with a purpose, a purpose that bring goodness into other people’s lives, to create harmony and peace to the already samsaric world.
We cannot live on our own, we need each other in order to live in the world. A successful person rely on everyone to work together in order to achieve the goal together. No one person is stupid or useless per se and they all play an important role in the success whether right or wrong according to our perceptions.
Being grateful made us human, made us who we really are and bring out our innate nature in order for us shine. Take advantages, use people, chase after name, fame, money etc. will only make us otherwise — a life waste living to say the least.
Thank you Rinpoche for this teaching on how we should be as a human being. Even if we are not able to have all the qualities of a saint, at least we are not being a devil to those around us.
Through this article it reminded me that through the constant covering of my own flaws and not forcing myself to face them, I will never be able to improve myself as I will have excuses in my mind to not do so. Through that, I will only be a monster to those that are around me.
However, if we were to push ourselves and force the change in us, we will be able to be better and more perfect. Although that will not make us a saint immediately, yet it will bring us a little bit closer to our ultimate goal of reaching enlightenment.
Thank you Rinpoche for basic knowledge that we should all have yet we constantly get blinded in different ways that make us forget about the importance of the basic human nature.
Dharma is life & life is Dharma . By applying what we learn from Dharma in real life we become better people. We become kinder , wiser, less selfish , less arrogant, less angersome & more compassionate. By the laws of karma all our negative actions will eventually ripen back upon us therefore do not do to others what you do not want others to do to you. Thank you Rinpoche for the advise
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you for this teaching on being yourself and being humble. 🙂 This was really easy to understand and you’ve also shown that we can all do it, whether we are religious or not. Thank you for being so direct an easy for everyone to understand. Thank you for taking your time to write this down for the improvement of everyone who will read this post. _/|\_
Your humble student,
Keng Hwa.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing with us what is the right attitude to be a human, for at least what we can do is not do hurt others and take advantage of others is already a very aspect in life in this world now there is so many who cannot even do that not even talk about the Dharma motivation people nowadays are so selfish very concern about their own need we are the lucky one who has Dharma that remind us about right human attitude .
Rinpoche is so right to tell us that if we cannot be a saint, at least do not be a devil.
In this modern age, everybody has become so pragmatic that everyone is using one another as stepping stones. Those that are being used, felt cheated and closed off from people. Those who are using others to move higher, shut themselves off because of the fear of being made use of.
In the end, the people around them, including themselves, become cold with hearts of stone.
Is this how we want to move forward in time? We should all be loving and compassionate with one another. We should all be patient and help one another. This way, everybody succeeds.
I want to be remembered as a good man when I die. I want the people giving speech at my funeral to remember me as a good man. How we want to be perceived when we die, this will be a good exercise to remember. Funeral speeches about us.
Thank you Rinpoche.
Thank you Rinpoche for another direct and honest post about being human. It is amazing how compassionate Rinpoche is with our neurosis. Rinpoche allows us to work on ourselves a step at a time. We are bound to grow if we take small steps in our dharma practice ON CONDITION IT IS DONE CONSISTENTLY.
I witnesses “weaknesses” of my dharma family arise like those of my very own. What is important is to acknowledge them and work on them together. That is teamwork.
It is true, we are all a bit broken, but lets not focus on the broken parts only. Recognise the values that exist and work on mending the broken parts
I face and work with different people day-in-day-out, and it is inevitable to encounter people who use others to serve their selfish needs/gain. I used to feel very frustrated and bitter whenever I encountered people like this, and allow the deep unfair feeling and dissatisfaction took root in my mind. I would then project this same negative feeling onto people that I meet later on. It felt like a vicious circle of “bad attract bad”.
Therefore, I am reminded by this article that if I am not careful and mindful, I will continue to stay in the state of ignorance. Now that I had come to learn a little bit about dharma and in my attempt to apply some in my daily life, I began to see things differently. Instead of getting angry at these people, I feel sorry for them. And it motivates me to do my share of the work well and not be a burden to others.
Thank you very much, Rinpoche, for sharing words of wisdom for us to ponder on.
Humbly with folded palms,
Stella
As I reread this article, I am very appreciative of Rinpoche’s simple teaching on how to live/function as a human. This is the ethical bottom-line we should accord to people we come across regardless of race, creed, etc. By being honest, sincere and respectful towards others, we can sustain a better and healthier relationship. By constantly putting in practice to be respectful towards other people helps lower our arrogance. Now we no longer just think about ourselves.
Thank you very much Rinpoche for this meaningful teaching.
Humbly with my head to your feet,
Stella
It is unlearn and relearn.
In Samsara, we are made to believe that success is to have our name known, to receive praise, to have people admired. In achieve such status, we evaluate people based on how much values a person can bring to us, relationship is on the basis of the benefits we can GET out of this person. In Dharma, it is however completely opposite. We are taught to think of what benefit we can GIVE to this person. Fame, praise, admiration for ourselves cannot be the motivation for our action.
If we are practising with the aspiration to become enlightened, we need to train our mind to always give without expecting something in return, even if no one notices our ‘good work’. Why? Because at the end of the day, whether we are good or bad, whether we are a failure or success, no one can determine that, it is determined by our karmas. What determines whether it becomes good or bad karma is our motivation.
I find things are easier if we do it with the motivation to give. To give, there’s no mind games involved, we do not have to plot to achieve. Always examine our mind, our motivation so we will act in the correct way.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you again for this wake up call.
It really cuts deep into me and as I reflect back on this article, I am thinking, oh my gosh, I have done this and done that at some point in my life.
I have created a lot of causes for others to suffer and ultimately I have suffered for creating that suffering for others through my selfish actions and in my quest to become a “saint”.
With this wake up call, I am moving on the track to become more mindful, to respect others equally and live the Dharma.
Thank you so much
_/\_
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you for sharing with us Rinpoche’s thoughts on how people in samsara are totally engrossed with the 8 worldly Dharmas when they live their lives. It may have dawned upon them that what they do and how they do things is getting them no where but they cannot think higher or take their life into a higher perspective. Some may not have achieved what they were aiming for and keep on trying this wrong method. Whereas some just do not know to get out of their fixated thinking.
Life is a rat race, we pick and choose what we want to do and who we want to engage with. In doing so, I have learnt that there’s always likes and dislikes. Some choose the path to tread on others to get what they want and in doing so, created many enemies. While others take the better way around by giving others what they need – sharing. I have had a yearning for success, everyone does and sometimes it blinds me to see what others need as well. That’s my downfall but in picking myself up, sharing and caring is the only way to go long term.
like what Rinpoche mentioned here, I don’t wanna leave this world with a bunch of dark memories in other people’s minds about me but instead happy moments which we’ve shared with each other in love and in kindness. Let not our wants and fancies keep us away from the bigger goal in life – happiness. I can have all the secular success in life but if there’s no one to share it with, it becomes meaningless.
It is about being human, about giving others due credit and sharing the same happiness and success we have in life. I have failed sometimes to see the world as a forest jungle and took it as a pearl in the oyster instead, trapping myself in the shell without knowing it.
Thank you Rinpoche for this wake up call. It is most necessary at this point of time to pick myself up from my mistakes and make amends with those whom i have hurt along the way. I don’t want that unhappy memory to linger in anyone’s mind. I definitely do not want to be a hypocrite in sharing Buddha’s teachings but not embodying them.
We each have our own karmas to deal with and it is difficult doing alone. Rinpoche has created a platform of support so that we can heal and transform to become better people with time. I thank Rinpoche again for putting up this post and will revisit often to remind myself to set me back on track.
Dear Pastor Jay Jae,
We are all grateful for this wake up call from Rinpoche, all of us have in one way or another stepped on others and used others for our own personal gains. It is only to what degree and how skilful we may be in hiding our hidden ill agendas.
It is good now for all of us to reflect on our ways we have created such ill will and resistance to us as the result is damage to our Rinpoche’s teachings and stunt the growth of our sacred dharma centre, Kechara.
It is imperative that we find the ways and determination to overcome our ill conduct for the benefit of self and others.
I appreciate your ”confessions” and pray that you will succeed in assisting our Guru and Centre to grow and treasured by many and beneficial to many more to come.
Thank you Rinpoche for this timely reminder that we may not aspire to be saints, but that doesn’t mean we can act in a way as to step on others’ feelings and rights.
Yes, we must remember that we do need someone to love and care for us. But if we show no such love and care for others, how can we expect any love and care from others. Remember, what goes out from us will come back and haunt us!
Show respect for others, be considerate of others’ feelings. Don’t ues and abuse others, as this will drive others away from us.Show care if we want others to show care for us.
Be kind.
That was intense and straightforward. Very thought provoking and deep but fairly simple. Anyone should be able to do this. Do what you can do with people who don’t ever use Dharma… Be a good example and that will be enough perhaps…
Thanks Rinpoche for this valuable teaching that serves as a reminder for us to constantly remind ourself to always learn, unlearn and relearn with our mind. Having people in our mind is the basis to achieve virtue and establish merit and hurting others will never bring happiness.
Thank you Rinpoche for this wonderful teaching. Friends and family members are humans who are karmicly related to us and not objects for us to use to.achieve our material goals. Helping them understanding the Buddha’s teachings and bringing them near the dharma would be so beneficial to them. This post may look normal but it penetrates deep through me. ^_^