Kids watch parents…
Question asked by Claire S
Rinpoche, I have 3 teenage children who are really growing up way too fast. Children today are exposed to so much information through media, internet, etc. And I know that there is no stopping them, the more I stop them the more intrigue I create in their minds. I feel that starting them on a spiritual path now will instill good foundation in their minds to not go down the path of wrong views. What is the best way to start them in a way that will interest them? Please give me your kind advice. Thank you Rinpoche for your precious time.
Dear Claire S,
Good question. I agree with everything you say. From my experience among the many parents who are my students, many of their children are growing up to do dharma also. The reason is as they were growing up, they observe their parents genuinely doing dharma and transforming. The parents who really practice dharma and transform have tremendous impact on their children. It is beyond a doubt. There are always exceptions but I am saying for the majority.
I am sorry to say, but I also have parents who the children are very difficult and the funny thing is, the parents themselves are difficult people who find it hard to transform or do more in the dharma. Even the parents who do dharma, but have not really transformed, but their dharma is mechanical or at their convenience, it is very hard for them, because they are the ones with children who create problems for them…I am really telling you what I observe so many times over the years…. I noticed very clearly that our children REALLY WATCH WHAT WE DO AND SAY. They may not register everything at the moment, but as they mature, they will digest everything they have seen and put it to use… So if we want our children to become spiritual it is most important we start from ourselves and be excellent examples. From observation of many years, this is a very big key factor. I wish your children will grow up to be beneficial and very spiritual people..that is the best gift from parent to child. If they are spiritual and practice, then even after a parent’s death, they will be ok…and that is what every parent would want for their children to be ok. For them to be ok, the parent must practice dharma sincerely and show transformation….I wish you tremendous luck… Tsem Rinpoche
Please also read this I wrote up about kids and parents here.
Please support us so that we can continue to bring you more Dharma:
If you are in the United States, please note that your offerings and contributions are tax deductible. ~ the tsemrinpoche.com blog team
I definitely believe that what our parents do will affect us in terms of our growing and our characteristics. If it was not that my father has met Rinpoche and introduced my family to Buddhism, I believe the way that I am living now would be very different.
To me, I believe that Buddhism has helped me a lot by keeping my virtues correct. Also with Rinpoche’s guidance, teaching us how to face or rectify the issues that we have.
Many children nowadays are all mirrors of their parents. If their parents are rude and loud, mostly those children are like that towards their peers as well. Children are people who are very easily influenced, both positively or negatively. I believe that we should always guide them and show them our best behavior no matter if we are the child’s parent or elder sibling, as they would look up to us and learn what we do.
大多数的父母都会希望自己的下一代过得衣食无忧，幸福快乐。父母亲都会尽量满足孩子的要求，尤其是外在的需求与物质上的享受。这样爱的方式并不能让孩子们得到最根本的快乐，唯一和最好的方式就是让孩子们学习佛法！佛法能让他们成为更好的人，能够勇敢面对困难，唯有佛法能他们走的更远，过得更快乐！！谢谢Rinpoche的教导，我会明记於心，也会以身做则的成为我的孩子们的典范，让他们能够在佛法的加持下成为能够利益他人的人！！
Who is the immediate person who benefits from when we do good, or practice what is taught?
We our self, our loved ones, friends or enemies around us that are benefited from that.
When we change from a bad temper/impatience person to a better and caring person, we and people around us can feel the shift strongly. We become more happier so do people we love, we care.
To have met my Guru and Dharma, make me a little bit better person that do less harm to myself & people around me; and sending more positive energy to people around me. Thank you my Guru.
Thanks Rinpoche, i will be the example for my girls to follow and guide them.. Children who learn Dharma, they will be OK.. i’ll always keep that in mind.
Both my parents are Buddhists for many years but our family did not fully practise Buddhism as we are quite a ‘modern family’. It is recently I discover my passion in understanding Buddhism and I’ve started to share this with my family again, especially my mum. She has now continue with her daily chantings,which she has stopped for a while. I guess in my case, my parents ‘introduced’ me to Buddhism and the learning continues when i refresh them by sharing my discovery from internet and books. Happy learning to all the parents…
Thankfully I manage to learn the Dharma through Rinpoche teachings… but there’s not a day i don’t wish that if only my parents introduced me to Dharma when i was younger…
If my parents have not taken care of the altar well, cleaning them, make offerings, chant mantras and prayers, i could have forgotten about H.E. Tsem Tulku Rinpoche because the altar was set up by rinpoche’s monk and the kuan yin statue was handpicked by rinpoche many years back. My mum used to tell me rinpoohe loved the kuan yin statue very much but decided to let my parents to invite the statue back home. The kuan yin statue was different from the other statue because the skin is dark in colour and the kuan yin’s face is very serious with both eyes staring at you. One can’t help to feel guilty of doing something wrong when one looks at the kuan yin statue…
If my father had stopped doing water offerings years ago or if my parents had stopped bringing me to attend dharma talk or puja years ago, i would have been lost and perhaps embrace another religion or decided to practice no religion at all.