Real Love…
It’s great to want love, demand love, get love, expect love and just have it..but what do you do when you get it? Just relax, not do your part and expect the love to be one sided. Yes love is unconditional, but it does not mean one gives unconditionally and the other gets only unconditionally. Love is a state where a person truly cares about you for YOU. And when you get that, you should do everything you can being true to yourself of course to reciprocate. I mean c’mon, everyone wants love and peace and the whole nine yards, but you have to give the same. Don’t just take and feel threatened when ppl get tired of just giving while you return love with unfulfilled commitments and empty words. Be loved and love without conditions but with responsibility.
Love is not just a word you use to threaten ppl into silencing them about your bad habits or unfulfilled promises. Love is what should motivate you to do your part too. Love is only unconditional when you don’t put a condition that it is unconditional. We must do our parts.
~Tsem Rinpoche
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Thank you for your thoughtful sharing. All we really need in life is real love not wealth or material goods. Real love is truly crazy, beautiful and brings so much of happiness, yet it’s one of the most confusing and heartbreaking things in this world.
The reason it is so rare is because it is so misunderstood. We are not perfect but because we love, we speak, we respect, compromise, care, trust and do our best to make others become happier.
Real love should not be taken for granted, as in one keeps giving and the other just keeps taking. Real love should have mutual understanding ,respect, open communication, compromising, Real love is not a one way street thing. Real love is not about one person making all the decisions and expect the other person to accept them ….otherwise this is not real love and respect. Thank you very much Rinpoche for sharing this beautiful advice on how to cultivate real love.?????
Real love should not be taken for granted, as in one keeps giving and the other just keeps taking. Real love should have mutual understanding ,respect, open communication, compromising, Real love is not a one way street thing. Real love is not about one person making all the decisions and expect the other one to accept them ….otherwise this is not true love and respect. Thank you very much Rinpoche for sharing this beautiful advice on how to cultivate true love.?????
Thank you Rinpoche for this teaching. If we want something, we have to put effort into it. Nothing comes without us working hard for it. As a person, we have to be kind. Always be kind to people unconditionally. If it is a kindness or love with the expectation to have something in return, that is not sincere or genuine.
Kindness does not mean giving things to others. It can be as simple as keeping a promise. Or if we are at work, we try to make things easier for our co-workers, don’t make things difficult for them. If we can do more to help others to reduce their burden, do that. This is also an act of kindness.
When we genuinely care for others, they can feel it and this is how we can make people around us happy. Since inflicting pain on others is not what we want to do, let’s start with small gesture to make others happy.
I like this quote from Ven. Tenzin Palmo Jetsunma,
Attachment says, “I love you therefore I want you to make me happy.”
Genuine love says “I love you therefore I want you to be happy.”
Being loved by someone and in love with someone, this should create strength and courage that reinforce the relationship. We are not perfect but because we love, we respect, compromise, care, trust and do our best to make others become better and happier. Most important, we appreciate the love we share together rather than expecting others to supply what we desire.
I agree with Rinpoche that if someone is interested in another person,they have to take initiative to pursue that person. Example, if a man is interested with someone, and not taking much action and just giving hints, and the female keeps responding her love for him for too long, she will definitely say “Bye Bye” for good. There is this saying, it takes two to tango…one hand cannot clap. It takes both sides to make the relationship work. And communication is the key to have mutual and better understanding of each other.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing the meaning of real love ??
TRUE love is the hardest thing to find and once we get it ,its the only thing that matters in our life . Life is a journey for us to discover more of who we really are so that we can evolve to higher forms of expressing love until we can fully love unconditionally.
Non-attachment is a highly beneficial state of mind in all fields of life, and in our relationship with people, with possessions. It’s important to clarify this common misunderstanding and indifference means a lack of interest and sympathy toward a person or object.
(If we develop a good heart, real appreciation, love and compassion for others, our life will improve)…… Dalai Lama
Thank you Rinpoche for this teaching.
“Love is not just a word you use to threaten ppl into silencing them about your bad habits or unfulfilled promises. Love is what should motivate you to do your part too. Love is only unconditional when you don’t put a condition that it is unconditional. We must do our parts.” These are really great words. I wish everyone can adhere to it. For love, even the love for our parents or Guru or partner, should be the motivation for us to be a better person. Love with responsibility!
Love is just a word. You can find it everywhere, people utter it all the time. I’m sure almost everyone has at some point said “I love you” or was told “I love you”. Then what? It’s pretty common these days to hear people say I love you one minute and I hate you the next. Children do it to parents all the time. Between spouses, between friends.
It is futile to look for unconditional love, because it in itself is a condition. It is pointless and meaningless. If you want to believe in love then just do and that’s it. Love how you can and accept love as it is. If you don’t want to believe in love, that’s it too. Don’t dwell on it then and don’t get defensive with people who do. Either way, find peace with what you seek and don’t let a word take control of your life, don’t let it create negative influences in your life.
This is so true, love can be found everywhere from the love towards the family members, people that you respect, friends and relatives, to your partner. With love, it helps us to accept the weaknesses that the other party has, wanting to help them improve themselves from the bottom of your heart. True love is when we are able to speak freely towards a person because we truly want them to change for the better and not for our selfishness.
respected rinpoche
i found your blog this evening through 1 of my friend and im inspired by your quotes and preachings.i am a bhutanese living in bhutan and i am following budhism and i do some realigious prayer and i do belive in it.i do have a strong belive in love and compassionate.it sound stupid to ask question on such isssues but i belive there is no harm in asking such question.is there harm in loving someone and begging for love.is the attachement of love matters.though we know that love and attachement are not permenent we still have attachment towards it.so i would be very greatful if rinpoche could comment on this.with due respect i thank rinpoche for giving this opportunities to express our own views and share with you.thank you very much…………
Lord Buddha said that one should love everyone from one’s heart. Of course its great to have love, but nonetheless, there are many types of love. In today’s society, for most people, love often comes from desires and feelings. Such kind of love is said to be neither permanent nor deep, and seldom remains forever, as feelings change. One should get love based on profoundity – deep intent and far reaching. To have profound love is to have unconditional love, like our Rinpoche said, “And when you get that, you should do everything you can being true to yourself of course to reciorocate”. Love should not be based on desire, but something that comes out of caring for others, like that between parents and children. Commitment, sacrifice, patient, and trust are some main essentials to make a relationship last. As in the wisdom words of the Dalai Lama, “Love and compassion are the most important, most precious, most powerful and most sacred basic elements supporting our life and happiness. They are the most effective and beneficial driving forces for life”.
Dear Riponche, Im a Christian and i wanna thank you for your teachings that really motivates me and help me to move on and getting my life back on track… I just a have a question if you won’t mind why being a hosto or working in a hosto club is considered as a job? they continously hurt people they deceive women by their looks for Money? What kind of people are these? What future lies on these people ? I’m so sorry for questioning you these:-(
Innocent emotion….”When you were a child you found joy in the smallest of things”
Do not blame others but cultivate a spirit of self-help “Do not blame the ship or wind for your inability to progress.. make improvements to your ship fix your helm, learn more about sailing techniques and combine wisdom of those around you”
….Be grateful when things are not going well, when you stumble, or face a barrier that prevents you from going further. It is htn that your eyes will be opened to your flaws and you will be able to correct them?
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