So much Wisdom!!!!!! Read!!!
Dear Friends,
Some people just have everyday penetrative wisdom to make life for everyone around them easier and themselves. I did a blog post called: Dharma work, attitude & TDL and the wonderful comment below was left by Akarshan Pradhan. I must share with you. I thank Akarshan so much for the words.
Tsem Rinpoche
Dharma people are generally more tolerant, forgiving, patient, kind but we should not take advantage of this. The problems you have in your romance, family, kids, husbands, wives, partners, friends, etc. were not created by your Dharma friends, so do not blame them. Do not expect them to be the object of your unhappiness with the situations you created yourself. Do not ask Dharma, your teacher, your friends to solve your problems. You must apply the Dharma and solve your problems. If you are always throwing tantrums, blaming others, complaining and making others uncomfortable, then you will make yourself unwelcome wherever you go. No one deserves to be lonely and sad. So do not create the situations to become lonely. When you do Dharma work, then do your work with a smiling face, good attitude and a disposition that make others happy to have you. That is your training. Training your mind to become something that other people will want you is the challenge worth taking.
From Akarshan Pradhan
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Our dharma is our true calling. The purpose of Dharma is to subdue our mind, to correct the actions of our daily life so that we can benefit others. Learning Dharma and practicing it will guides and holds us away from all suffering and its causes.
Dharma people are generally more tolerant, forgiving, patient, kind but we should not take advantage of this….. totally agree with Akarshan Pradhan.
To attain the cause of ultimate happiness, we have to learn and practice Dharma to transform our actions into Dharma, transform our mind and take whatever responsibilities and not blaming others. Since we are fortunate to have met the Dharma in these degenerate times, it’s extremely important that we do not waste this opportunity.
Thank you Rinpoche for this sharing from Akarshan Pradhan.
Wonderful sharing from Akarshan Pradhan, do agree with him. . Each day, I try to come in with a positive attitude, trying to get better and improving myself. When adopting the right attitude , we could convert a negative stress into a positive one. Our attitude, not our aptitude, will determine our altitude. Whatever happens, take responsibility. Never whine about own problems, never complain, never try to justify oneself that’s so sure. By learning, practicing Dharma and putting it into actions sincerely and happily with a smile that’s so sure.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing Akarshan Pradhan’s words of wisdom for us to ponder.
Dharma practice is the most important thing in life. To make our life meaningful, we have to do meaningful actions. This is the main thing that allows us to generate the energy we need to undertake the long path ahead of us. This is going to be a long, hard journey and we will need to develop many skill. A wonderful thought to be shared. Thank you so much for the sharing.
Dear Rinpoche and Akarshan Pradhan,
After just a few years trying to practice the little Dharma practices that I’ve known, yes, I agree that in doing Dharma work, it’s a place for us to learn more and a place for us to grow our spirituality. It’s a place where we can fail while in the safe hands of our Dharma brothers and sisters. In short, a place for us to take up our responsibility. Just like in a workplace, we are paid to do our job right? How can we take our family problems to our workplace and affect our daily work while being paid? We will be fired!
While having said that, this particular sentence is so true and I can actually relate more to this “Dharma people are generally more tolerant, forgiving, patient, kind but we should not take advantage of this. “ For those who have been in Dharma for so many years, please read this at least thrice ?. Please at least take up some responsibilities and contribute in some ways such as ideas or effort in works, in addition to financial support. For those who have put in effort in works, these type of people are whom I will give my respect more as they walk the talk.
P/s: Looks like I am still far from practicing the 8 Verses of Thought Transformation.
Thank you.
Nice read. I am sure everyone come into Dharma for a reason. This reason has to be very clear in our mind before we decided to be part of this Dharma family. The purpose of doing Dharma work is to bring Dharma to others, help others by giving them hope, hence we mediate and practice Dharma so that we can benefit others. We need to constantly remind ourselves and each other.
Remind ourselves and each other when we see our minds have gone off track. I mean this is very normal. Specially when problems come. Problems is the nature of samsara, no matter we are in Dharma or not, problems exist. We all know blaming others is not a solution to solve the problems. We must make ourselves very clear that we here to contribute and benefit others. But it doesn’t mean we have be cold, avoid or don’t care.
Whenever we have problems, no matter is from dharma work or not, our Dharma family is always there to support, to give comfort and care, to make sure you are not alone. I think this is what a Dharma community meant to be.
I definitely agree with Akarshan Pradhan that all my problems are of my own creation, my karma. Blaming others not only do not solve my problems it leads to collection of more negative karma and hence more problems.
Joining a dharma organization or doing dharma does change anything unless I change our mindset. I cannot ask nor expect the dharma, the guru, the people in dharma to solve any of my problems.
How people treat us is a reflection of how we are. It’s simple logic. Those who has always been kind, generous and compassionate will be received well and taken care of in times of need. Those who throw tantrums, blame others, complaints, cheat, lies will slowly and inevitably find themselves alone. So if we do not want to be in a certain situation then do not create the causes to be in that situation. The choice is in our mind.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing the wisdom from Akarshan Pradhan.
We should take responsibility on our own problem, try our very best to apply and practice the Dharma that we have learnt. Practice makes perfect. We should not take advantage on the kindness of our Guru, Dharma friends and others. Transform and solve our problem by applying Dharma teaching to repay the kindness of our Guru, our Dharma friends and others.
This is so true and really inspiring me. We must always don’t keep blaming and must always with sincerely heart when doing Dharma work.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this meaningful message to us.
We must apply dharma in our daily life. Do not ask Dharma, your teacher, your friends to solve your problems. You must apply the Dharma and solve your problems. Simple yet profound words of wisdom by Akarshan Pradhan. Thank you Rinpoche for sharing.
The responsibility for our own problems, will not fall unto someone else and cannot be solved by someone else. If we create the problem, we can jolly well reverse the problem. Buddhism empowers us to solve our own problems and that is the beauty of it. Not to rely just on the magical or mystical side of Buddhism which exists no doubt but to rely on the teachings which can transform our minds and our destiny.
Before I learn more about Buddhism and life, I thought that by praying to Gods, Buddhas or any higher beings, my problems will go away…haha, come to think about it that’s not logical even without much knowledge about Buddhism…Now I know that only by taking on your own problems you are in control.
There is so much wisdom in the comment by Arkarshan Pradhan!
Actually, whether we are in Dharma work or in circular work, we should not bring our personal problem to our work place. That’s professionalism.
A lot of time, people use to think that people working for Dharma and can be are more tolerate and do not really need to be professional. However, if we can do well outside, we should do even better while doing Dharma work as this is considered spiritual practice to be a better person.
“When you do Dharma work, then do your work with a smiling face, good attitude and a disposition that make others happy to have you.”
Thanks Arkarshan, I will always keep this in mind.
Thanks so much Rinpoche for sharing.
An interesting situation arose just a few days ago in the dharma centre. Two dharma sisters were thrown into a situation of being raised voice at and received complaints from a member of the public, who went hysteria blaming everything that made the person unhappy on others but these two dharma sisters remained calm and dealt with the “uncontrollable” situation immediately with help from other dharma sisters.
Akarshan made a very good point of dharma people who are more tolerant, patient and kind. Thank goodness for dharma which saved us from an “unfavorable” situation.
The Dharma is supposed to transform our mind not transform our circumstances to suit our mindset. If Dharma is meant to be used to solve our problems, then whose problem should Dharma solve when two so-called Dharma practitioners are in conflict with one another? Dharma is meant to be the progressive and yet permanent antidote for the disease we all suffer from, not the feel-good balm used to alleviate the symtoms of that greater disease as a temporary measure…until the symtoms flare up again which they will.
Similarly Dharma people are those dealing with their own disease and learning how to deal and transform themselves. They are not the antidote either, so how can they solve our problems? And even if they somehow managed to solve our problems, the benefit is theirs not ours because we have yet to deal with our own disease.
Actually the logic behind the Dharma is very sound but it seems very foreign to most of us because unknowingly we have spent an entire lifetime practicing the opposite of Dharma. Dharma cannot shift to make us see clearly. We should shift in order to see Dharma clearly and following Akarshan’s advice is a great place to start.
Thank you for sharing this wisdom from Akarshan Pradhan, which echoes what Rinpoche has always told us. We need to take responsibility for our own issues and not burden others. When we point a finger at others, three fingers point back at us. When we take responsibility for our issues, we will find solutions ourselves. The Dharma has already provided us the tools and the answers to most of our issues, it is whether we choose to apply what we have learned or not.
Those who have applied the Dharma and actually put it into practice do not complain and they just get on with it. They listen and try to solve other people’s problems instead of focusing on their own problems and that is what inspires others. They become role models for the Dharma and reflect well on Rinpoche.
Whether our behaviour represents Rinpoche and the Dharma well depends on how we conduct ourselves. Therefore, if we think that how we behave will affect whether other people follow this spiritual path, we should ensure that we become the best possible Dharma people so that others will want to be around us and want to know what is the secret! And best of all, they will want to join your path too and benefit from it.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing with us the wise words of Akarshan Pradhan.
It is simple, straight to the point but yet profound.
It is human nature to go into self denial and it is easier to place the blame on others than to accept the painful truth. We create the situations that we find ourselves in , yet we point our fingers outwards that it’s all someone’s fault! We are sad and lonely because we had ‘chased’ everyone away from us by our own misguided attitude, then instead of searching within ourselves ‘why?’, we become more angry and bitter towards others , and we push everyone even further away. Then it keeps going round and round and round….
When we incorporate the Dharma fully into our lives, be ‘more tolerant, forgiving, patient and kind’ , practice the teachings of Buddha consistently and with conviction and commitment, we change our mindset and our attitude. We become better people.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing Akarshan’s words of wisdom with us.Yes, Akarshan, we should apply the Dharma to solve our problems. Problems come from us, not from others. Blaming others and complaining will just scare people away from us. In the end, we end up lonely and sad.
Yes, we cause our own loneliness. If we don’t want to be lonely, we must buck up and transform ourselves into the kind of person people want to be with. That’s what applying Dharma is all about.
We have a choice: to be lonely and bitter or to be happy and liked by others and always have friends, especially in the Dharma center.
Wow… I’m speechless…
I remember just a few weeks ago, Rinpoche mentioned along these lines of this to a few of us…
We should never throw blame for the problems that we created in the past, and force it onto the people that have so caring towards us in the present. No one can help us in regards to the problems we created, and so we should never trouble or pressure them just because we are unhappy… why make two people unhappy?
When we have Dharma, the whole reason we want to learn Dharma is because we know it brings us much peace… so why should we give unhappiness to others, when we ourselves want happiness? If we truly believe in the law of cause and effect, then that attitude of bringing unhappiness to others does not really equate to Dharma practice… cause resemble results… if we give unhappiness, we get unhappiness… it is not punishment, but the truth.
Thank you for this very well thought out comment, Akarshan. You understood the essence of Rinpoche’s words and for that I’m truly happy for you and others for being able to look in this perspective.
Akarshan Pradhan words is so truth. People came to Dharma center look for solution to solve their problem. Even you had kindly give them advice, after problem had been solve their left the Dharma center.
We has to take responsibility to find out what is our real problem.Lama is always very kind and accepting all kind of request when we asking for help for the spiritual advice. Never throw tantrums to the lama and Dharma brothers and sisters who has kindly helping us when we need help.
Akarshan Pradhan must have attained some realisation through perhaps his own experience for being able to make such a wise comment. It is likened to what Rinpoche has always been advising us.
Most people come to a Dharma center having an idealistic projection of how things should be and that everyone should be “angels” and help them with all their problems. Yes they should for they are meant to be serving others, but let us not forget that they are humans too and not expect everyone to be picture perfect and take advantage of this. The thing is they acknowledge they are not perfect yet, and they have the wisdom and good fortune to be in Dharma and do Dharma work which says a lot more than those who just complain and gossip! Also on the other side of the coin, is for us who do Dharma, if we are doing it with the right attitude, then we can find that we mature more each time and we can tolerate and take on more instead of looking for the light… we start becoming the light. So it is a two way street here.
Wow. Akarshan wrote in such a short and condensed paragraph the essence of taking responsibility. It is all about taking responsibility from whatever is happening in our lives which we feel is negative and unhappiness. Be fortunate that you can still differentiate between what is negative and positive. If you cannot benchmark and kept hearing people’s negativity about you it is time to open our ears to listen more. Treat others like how we treat ourselves. 🙂
It has became our human nature where when we created problem, we hope other people will solve for us, and when it didn’t happen, we put the blames on others, we blame them not solving our problem.
Blaming others will create disharmony between us and the people around, and it also make us become more unhappy. people are often self-centered, we never think that problem arises is from our fault, it is created by us so we have to solve it, they always wanted to get a easy way out…
Before knowing Dharma, we used to believe that faults are created by others, praises are from ourselves. But Dharma teaches us another way round. That’s why Dharma became difficult.
Dharma is like a mirror to us, it show us our most ugliest side, it tell us who we really are. Dharma magnified it so we can see clearly, and hence, we should not avoid from it, we should face it and walk out from this difficult moment.
Dharma is not just for us to feel good, but it is a growing up session, yes, it teaches us how to be an adult, it is sad but it is true, many of us still don’t know how to act like an adult, not being responsible enough to our life and to the the people we love. So, we need Dharma to teach us how to be a human.
Thank you for sharing this. This reminds me also of what Rinpoche has often taught us, which is to think always of how people feel after being around us and working with us? Do they leave our presence feeling more inspired, happy, uplifted? Or do they feel more anxious, frustrated, even angry? It’s painful to think of this and facing the truth can be difficult, but when we do this, then we see how we really are. We see how we frequently bring our problems into the world around us, even when it doesn’t concern anyone in that “world!”
So then we change our actions, and adjust whatever it is we need to, so that we create change in the way people can view us and how we’d like we’d be remembered by. It might start off as being just about our egos – wanting people to think good of us. But we fake it til we make it. Even if we have to fake it for people to feel happy around us, the bottom line is that PEOPLE FEEL HAPPY AROUND US. And soon, we can extend our motivation not just to how we want to be viewed, but about how we want to make the next person feel better.
We come into Dharma to overcome our suffering, so we should leave our problems aside when we do dharma work. Why should our dharma brothers and sisters suffer our sufferings? By really helping others in dharma, we will soon find ourselves changing our mindset to be more understanding and tolerant, kinder and more giving, etc. From this change, we must learn to apply in our own problems. Soon, we will wonder why we fret so much over the problems, which could be solved with a change of mindset. When facing a difficult situation and feeling unhappy/angry, I would either take a step back for better assessment or try viewing the situation differently. Learning dharma is to understand that problems are created by one’s mind and it takes oneself to understand & solve it.
Very profound and truth, no problems can be solved if u don’t help youself.
Incredibly inspiring and true words of wisdom. It is with an honesty that most lack. Dharma or anyone associated with our Dharma path is NOT an ‘object’ to pin a blame on. We came into Dharma with an existing problem much like how we came into this world/life. We have no one or nothing to blame except for ourselves.
The fact that we have the Dharma in this lifetime, we should count our blessings, as it is our lifeline out of our sufferings. It is not to be viewed as suffering but a purification and method to alleviate us from it. So rejoice that you are that turtle who has his neck through that lifebouy in a turbulent ocean!!!
So true, we must apply dharma in our daily life, all the unhappiness, emotions and complains arise from our own mind set. Since we are in dharma, yet create problems for not helping in dharma is a selfish act.
To me, in dharma career not only works but attitude towards others is the key, not to be selective and be flexible can create harmony in team work.
These words by Akarshan are very easy to read and be understood but they perhaps are sentiments derived at after much obvervations and personal experiences.
Hard but true, karma are independent, and we all have to bear the fruits of our own doings. Dharma centres are places where we learn and transform and to become better people and hopefully in the process we can help others to grow as well, both inside and outside of the centre.
Before we can lead others, we need to be strong enough, both mentally and spiritually, otherwise we can easily fall back. This demands for much self-learning and transformation within ourselves.
This is really a precious gem for anyone to be able to meet Dharma. Buddhas’ words cannot be wrong and our mindstream can lead us from one life to the other.
Transformation is certainly not easy as we have been carrying our behaviours and attitudes for aeos, but we all have to have full trust that if we do practice dharma, it is the best gift for our current precious lives, for our Gurus and for our next lives, and hopefully with much great merits we can reborn as human beings again and to learn and practice dharma until we all gain enlightenment for the benefits of many.
We should try as much as possible not to burden others, but to grow within ourselves and make ourselves better people.