Why are excuses impermanent?
We all have excuses, reasons, justifications and thoughts why we can’t do this and that. We like to sometimes use these excuses and explain to others until we think they think it is valid. They may or may not believe the validity of our reasons, but one thing is for sure, if we believe in our reasons, then we can lose out. We are left behind. No doubt there are people with real genuine reasons, but we have to sift through what is real and what is perceived. Whatever the reasons, the reasons can be changed. Since karma is not fixed, the results can be different if we create new causes. We need to understand that the ‘validity’ behind all reasons are ultimately empty of true, stable permanent reasoning/existence, otherwise there would be no possibility of Buddhahood. Nevermind Buddhahood, if reasons are permanent, then there would be no betterment in the conditions of our daily secular lives. All things seems solid, unchanging and permanent when we sit there and do nothing about it. When we look at our days, it seems nothing much is happening, but when we look back at the past ten or twenty years, plenty of things have happened and changed. We have even aged. Nothing stays the same although its subtle momentary changes occur without being noticed.
Shantideva said that our mindstreams are not restricted to our corporeal forms. The mind is actually free and independent of our bodies or lack of it in the case of formless realms. Since our minds do not get old or young, it remains ‘constant’. Since it is constant without age or without ageing, it can learn, adapt and adjust if we choose. To use excuses such as I am too old, too habituated, or this is how I am used to it, really cuts away any sort of betterment we can offer ourselves and others. As I said, nothing is permanent or solid and all are changing; even the mountains, space and our planet earth constantly. If such ‘solid’ items are changing, why can’t our self-imposed restrictions change if we wish it? Of course everything can be changed. No matter what space we are in now, it can be changed for the better since enlightenment does exist. If we cannot change, then we negate Buddhas and their enlightenment. Buddhas during their pre-Buddha days understood all states of mind are impermanent due to their dependence on impermanent factors. Once the factors changed, the results change. Because of this fundamental understanding which is wisdom, they can work towards enlightenment and became Buddhas. This is the same for us and all sentient beings. How can we take refuge in something (Buddha) which we negate. Of course a Buddha cannot be negated, but the illogic of our thinking is crystal clear.
If our mind gets old, then at birth in this life, our mind should be old, cannot learn and cannot adapt. But we all know children adapt and change the easiest the younger they are. But children are birth products of their previous lives that died old. If that is the case, if most of us died when we were old in our previous lives with habits that were ‘solid’ and firm, then how come in this life we can change at birth and at a young age again? If we died old, we should return old. If we died old, how can we return with a young mind? Not logical. Hence there is no age in our mindstreams. Whether our bodies are old or young, our minds stay the same. True, physiologically we can age and certain aggregates are impaired eg. sight, hearing, etc. but the impairment of our aggregates does not necessarily lead to impairment of the mind which is temporarily related to the body but not a part of it. It’s simple, we should all be born old without the abilities to adapt, learn and grow. Some old people and some young people love saying they are too old/habituated to learn this or that. Then if they should pass away, in their immediate next rebirth, shouldn’t they also be too old to learn? It doesn’t make sense, does it? Since it does not make sense, it leads logically to believe our minds do not age and the mind is timeless without impediments from the body. Since our minds are not too old or too habituated to learn, change and transform, shouldn’t we get right on it before we further miss out more? Before we lose more real friends and spiritual brothers and sisters? Before we lose more opportunities? How liberating if we apply this logic immediately.
A sense of urgency is necessary for change. Urgency is the realization of the true nature of our existence. The true nature of existence is – all is not permanent, and when we hold on to permanence, we suffer and make others suffer. That may seem like a simplistic statement, but think about it deeper and perhaps meditate on changes and how in our lives changes brought on fear, trepidations and resistance in many cases. The fear of changes is not brought on by changes as that is the nature of all phenomena, but our resistance to the ultimate truth – that nothing is permanent. Since nothing is permanent, how can anything impermanent be relied upon to bring PERMANENT HAPPINESS leading to peace of mind? Impermanence cannot bring permanence is the simple truth we need to embrace and act upon. Therefore there would be no true lasting happiness in anything we have trusted since nothing we trusted was permanent. There is no point being depressed about this because again our grasping at a permanent solution to happiness relying on impermanent factors is the culprit. This is our real enemy. The reliance is the enemy. This is the main cause to remain in our confused state of existence that yields the unsure impermanent happiness we grasp. This is the true cause of our existence and also the endless rounds of rebirth we must constantly take without end. (For better/ extended references and meditations, one should always refer to Lam Rim, Tsongkhapa’s writings, and Shantideva.)
Our lack of urgency comes from the lack of knowledge. Not just any knowledge, but knowledge which is wisdom. Wisdom is the mind that can determine actions that lead to long term cessation of fruitless actions and results. Remember, the end is always the beginning, the beginning becomes the end and then it becomes the beginning again and leads to the end again and so on. We shouldn’t limit our spiritual growth or improvements as a human being by blaming it on factors that are changeable. All factors are changeable or at least less difficult if our determination to accomplish it is there. Having wisdom behind the mechanics of change and how we should use impermanence as an inspiration rather than a downer would make all the difference. It would be like instant realization leading to instant betterment of our daily attitudes.
When we wish to accomplish something, it is very important to not complain to others, about others and about our situations. Sympathy is nice, but sympathy can turn to disgust by others towards us if we use it constantly as the reason for failing and not doing something about ourselves. Sympathy is like a heavy loan, we have to pay it back although immediately we enjoy the spending. Not doing something about our situations will estrange more and more people because they run out of sympathy when they know we can do something and we are not doing it.
You see, everyone loves a winner. Everyone despises a loser especially if the loser chooses to be a loser. That is a fact of life whether we like it or not. We can move to ‘greener’ pastures and hope the new set of people’s sympathies will last longer as our skill to elicit sympathy improves, but ultimately we have to believe people are smart and will figure us out even if it takes longer. Then like a nomad, we have to again look for new pastures when sympathies run out. The pastures may not run out, but certainly our time will run out and we lose so much in our moves to newer pastures.
So the best place to change is the place we are in right now. We are familiar and those around us are familiar with us. We don’t have to be on the lookout when we are on familiar ground during our transformation, allowing all our time towards this beautiful metamorphosis. We can change for sure and even inspire others when we embrace what I have shared here. Sympathy can work for or against us depending on how often we use it. So it is better to not use situations to elicit sympathy. Sympathy after all can be used as a weapon of mass self-destruction. Why? With sympathy, we are looking for excuses to stay in our comfort zone which are intrinsically self-damaging, asking others to ‘forgive’ our repetitive ‘mistakes’ which we claim to be mistakes, or forgive our mistakes which were intentional but hidden under the cloak of ‘mistakes’. But if they were truly mistakes, why do we repeat them? Mistakes are done out of ignorance, and once we understand or it has been pointed out to us kindly by others/ourselves, we should stop making mistakes. The end.
Ultimately our minds do not age or become too habituated to ever change. That is illogical. We can change anytime when we realize the timelessness of our minds as explained by the Lord of Yogis, Shantideva. Take refuge in Shantideva’s wisdom which is based on Buddha’s teachings and not the ‘permanence’ of our habits based on wrong views. Our habits whether due to ‘age’ or comfort zones arising from wrong view are all changeable. What a wonderful freedom to realize and act upon this.
Tsem Rinpoche
为何藉口是无常的？
对于我们为何无法完成某件事请，我们每个人都有许多藉口、理由、辩词和想法来为自己开脱。我们有时喜欢向他人解释我们的藉口，直到我们以为他们已经认同了这些理由为止。他们也许相信，也许不信我们的理由，但有一点却是肯定的，如果我们自己也相信了这些理由，那我们就输了。我们就落后于他人了。无可否认，有些人确实拥有真实的理由，但我们必须加以分辨，哪一些是真的理由，哪一些只是认知上的理由。然而，无论是什么理由，都有可能改变。既然因果不是固定不变的，就意味着当我们创造了新的因，就会带来不同的果。我们必须明白，若从究竟的层面上看来，一切原因背后的“真实性”，其实并不具有真实、稳定、恒久的理由/存在，不然我们就不会有成佛的可能性了。姑且不谈成佛这件事，如果一切原因都是永恒不变的，那我们每天的世俗生活也就不会有改进的空间了。如果我们只是坐着，什么都不做，一切事物看起来都会是固定、不变和永恒的。看看我们的生活，似乎并没有发生什么大事，但当我们回顾过去的十年、二十年时，你会发现许多事物都已经发生，也已经改变了，就连我们也已经老了。没有什么是不变的，尽管那也许是一些细微到甚至不被察觉的改变。
寂天菩萨说，我们的心识流并不被我们的肉体形式所局限。心识其实是自由的，独立于我们的肉体，而对于无色界众生来说，则根本没有肉体可言。既然我们的心识并不会变老或变年轻，它就是“稳定”的。既然它是稳定的，没有年龄，也不会老化，那它就能够学习、适应和调适，如果我们选择了那么做。以“我太老了”、“太习惯了”、“我一直都如此”种种作为藉口，只会断送我们为自己和他人改进的机会。诚如我所说，没有什么是永恒不变或始终坚固的，一切都在改变，即便是山丘、空间和地球也一样。既然那么“坚固”的物体都在改变，若我们有心，那些我们加诸在自己身上的限制为什么就不能改变呢？当然，一切都可以改变。既然证悟是存在的，就意味着无论我们身处什么空间，它都能变得更好。若我们不能改变，我们就等于是否定了佛陀及证悟的存在。众佛在成佛之前就已经明白，一切的心境都是无常的，因为他们所依赖的因素是无常的。只要因素改变，结果也会改变。正因为有了这个基础认知，即智慧，他们才能朝向证悟努力，最终成佛。这对于我们和一切众生来说都是一样的。我们怎能向一个自己所否定的对象（佛）寻求皈依呢？当然，佛是无法被否定的，但我们思维当中的非逻辑性却昭然若揭。
如果心识会变老，那么我们这辈子刚出世时，心识早就该已经老化，再无法学习和适应了。然而，我们都知道，越是年幼的儿童，其适应和改变的能力也越强。儿童是他们的前世在老死之后的“产物”。若真如此，假设我们多数人的前世都带着“固定”不变的习性直至老死，为什么在这一世，我们却能在出世之后就改变，且变得年轻呢？如果我们在老年时期才死亡，我们理应投生为老人。如果我们死亡时已经是个老人，又怎可能带着一个年轻的心识回来呢？那并不合理。因此，我们的心识流是没有年龄的。无论我们的身体年轻或年老，我们的心识都始终不变。是的，在生理上，我们确实会变老，某些感官功能如视觉、听觉等都会退化，但这些感官功能的退化，并不一定导致心识的退化。心识只不过暂时与我们的身体有关，却并不是身体的一部分。不然，我们一出世应该就已经老得没有能力去适应、学习和成长了。有些老年人和年轻人常爱说，他们太老了/太习惯了，以至于无法学习新事物。若真如此，当他们死亡后，他们的下一个投生，是不是也应该同样老到无法学习呢？这一点都不合理，对吧？既然这种推论不合理，那么按照逻辑推论，我们的心识并不会老化，它既没有时限，也不受肉体所限制。既然我们不会由于心识过老，或出于习性而无法学习、改变和转化，那我们是不是应该即刻就纠正它，以免错过更多呢？我们是不是应该在失去更多真正的朋友或灵修上的兄弟姐妹前，或在我们失去更多机会之前就纠正它？若我们当下就将这逻辑付诸实践，我们就能得到解放。
改变，需要迫切感。迫切感来自于对存在本质的觉悟。存在的本质即是“一切都是无常的”，若我们紧抓着永恒不放，不仅我们痛苦，我们也会给别人带来痛苦。这看来也许只是简单的一句话，但我们要深入去思考、冥想关于改变这回事；我们要冥想在生命中的许多时刻，那些“改变”所带给我们的恐惧、颤抖和抗拒感。对改变所产生的恐惧，并不源自改变本身，因为改变乃一切现象的本质。这种恐惧其实源自我们对究竟实相——事物的无常本质——的抗拒。既然一切都是无常的，我们又怎可能期待无常的事物能带给我们永恒的快乐，继而带来内心的宁静呢？“无常不可能带来永恒”是一个简单的道理，却是我们必须谨记和遵循的真理。因此，我们过去所信赖的任何事物都无法带来真实持久的快乐，因为那些事物本身并不永恒。我们无需为此感到忧郁，因为同样的，我们企图依赖无常的因素来追寻快乐，并对此紧抓不放，这才是问题的关键。这才是我们真正的敌人。这种依赖本身就是敌人。这是导致我们一直停留在模糊的存在状态当中，继续紧抓着那些不确定兼无常的快乐不放的主因。这是我们存在的真正原因，也是让我们陷于无限轮回转世的原因。（想要更深入地研读或禅修，应时常参考《菩提道次第》、宗喀巴大师和寂天菩萨的著作。）
缺乏迫切感是由于我们缺乏知识。这里指的并非一般的知识，而是智慧。智慧是一种心识，它能决定我们的行为，让我们永久地终结那些无效的行动和成果。记得，结束就是开始，而开始也会走向结束，然后再一次的开始和结束，如此不断地循环重复。我们不应怪罪于那些不断改变的因素，而限制了自己在灵修或人性上的成长。一切的因素都会改变，然而如果我们有心要完成它，情况至少就会变得不那么难。如果我们能以智慧作为改变背后的机制，若我们能视无常为推动力而非泄气的因素，那就会造成很大的差别。就像瞬间的觉悟，能立刻改变我们的生活态度。
当我们想要完成某件事时，我们必须不在他人面前抱怨别人和我们的处境。同情是好的，但如果我们时常以它作为失败或不改善自己的藉口，久而久之，别人对我们的同情也会逐渐变成反感。同情就像是一个巨大的债务，虽然它能供我们暂时挥霍，我们最终还是必须一一奉还。不改善我们的情况，将导致越来越多人疏远我们，因为当他们知道我们有能力却不愿去完成某件事的时候，他们的同情心也将随之消失。
人人都爱成功者。每个人都瞧不起失败者，尤其是当事人自己选择当个失败者的时候。无论我们喜欢与否，这就是人生的现实。我们可以“另谋出路”，并希望随着我们更擅长博取同情心的同时，新一伙人对我们的同情心能更为持久。然而，我们最终还是要相信，人们的眼睛是雪亮的，他们迟早会发现真相。然后，就像游牧民族一样，当他人的同情心耗尽的时候，也就是我们得再“另谋出路”的时候。你或许还会找到“出路”，但肯定的是，我们的时间也会因此而耗尽，而在“另谋出路”的过程中，我们也错失了许多。
因此，做出转变的最佳地点，就是我们现处的地方。我们熟悉这里，身边的人也熟悉我们。在转化的过程中身处熟悉的环境，我们便无需提高警惕，继而才能充分投入于美丽的蜕变当中。若我们能充分把握我在这里跟大家分享的一切，我们必然能改变，甚至还能启发他人。同情心既能帮助我们，也会拖累我们，这全视乎我们使用它的频率有多高。因此，我们最好还是不要利用自己的情境来博取他人的同情心。这些同情心，最终将成为大规模自我毁灭性武器。为什么呢？因为有了这些同情心，我们便会找寻藉口，继续匿身在那具有自我伤害性本质的舒适地带，我们会恳求他人“原谅”那些我们一再犯下的“过失”（我们宣称那是过失），或是恳求他人原谅我们那个以“过失”之名，事实上却是有意犯下的过失。如果那真的是过失，我们为何会一而再，再而三地重犯呢？过失行为乃源自无知，然而，一旦我们意识到自己的错误，抑或他人已好心地指出了我们的错误，那么我们理应停止犯下同样的过错。仅此而已。
我们的心识根本不会老去，也不会出于习气而无法做出改变。这是不合乎逻辑的。若我们能够理解寂天菩萨所讲述的“心识不受时间所影响”，则我们随时都能做出改变。我们应皈依寂天菩萨的智慧，因为这些智慧源自佛陀的教诲，而不是去皈依我们“恒久”且源自邪见的习气。无论我们的习气是“年龄”所致，抑或出自邪见所衍生出的舒适地带，它都是能改变的。若能理解这个道理，并且依法实践，这是何等可贵的自由。
詹仁波切
Cruelty is not an expression of anger but weakness and selfishness. ~Tsem Rinpoche
This is exactly what Lord Buddha said.
~Tsem Rinpoche
There is no perfect timing and there is no time to wait, just do it. ~Tsem Rinpoche
Never sit by and let it happen and keep quiet. Never. ~Tsem Rinpoche
Only a real friend will tell you this or a real enemy… everyone in between take with a pinch of salt. ~Tsem Rinpoche
I’ve been telling everyone this for years. I ‘ve been telling myself this too. So no point hiding anymore, just let all your hangups go and be kind. ~Tsem Rinpoche
Don’t I know this one. I’ve met so many and they really are unique and sometimes fall into these three categories. ~Tsem Rinpoche
This applies to everyone. Our thoughts really do run our lives and sometimes we have to change our thoughts in order to change our lives. ~Tsem Rinpoche
Must stick it through and be loyal. Don’t give up so fast. Because when you give up, you give up on yourself too. ~Tsem Rinpoche
Our subconscious is always listening. Our subconscious forms the conscious. Our conscious acts out in speech and actions. These in turn affect everyone and everything around us. So we must first start without thoughts. If not, our lives will be one endless round of sympathy-seeking selfish egos not achieving anything much and then our time here is over. ~Tsem Rinpoche
Sometimes we have to just let some people go. Letting them go is not that we are not compassionate, it’s that we are not helping them and vice versa at this time. It’s sad to see someone go, but it’s sadder to see ourselves let everyone go instead. ~Tsem Rinpoche
How simple, clear and profound is this truth? If we just remember this daily, we will be better off immediately. ~Tsem Rinpoche
Not being kind because of someone who hurt you is the wrong reason to justify to yourself to be cold, cunning and hurtful. Be kind because it is the message you send to yourself. ~Tsem Rinpoche
Ego is the mind that wishes the best for itself at the expense of everyone else. ~Tsem Rinpoche
Loneliness is not lacking of people around you but being overly selfish at the expense of others also. ~Tsem Rinpoche
I agree with this.. just move on already.. stop waiting for sympathy and comfort. ~Tsem Rinpoche
I believe in this wholeheartedly. You don’t know what a person is going through sometimes. But we shoudn’t always expect and crave kindness, we must give it to get it. ~Tsem Rinpoche
This applies to everyone who feels misunderstood and wants more understanding than they give in results. ~Tsem Rinpoche
How many times have we done that and lived to regret it? Solution, winning isn’t the name of the game so let the other person win, release the anger and think: another mistake is not going to rectify the current problems. Cool down and make good decisions when the anger has dissipated. ~Tsem Rinpoche
I believe this 100%! ~Tsem Rinpoche
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This is true nothing last forever, nothing is permanent. The most beautiful memories is always in short term, therefore we should cherish every moment we have while we still alive! We will never know when our time comes. Life is too short to be too calculative and be angry. So therefore, we should use our time and energy on good things rather on putting on anger that will destroy our mind.
农历新年快到了，是利用这个假期，细读这篇文章所说，不断的反复思考，我们大家的人生会有更可贵的自由。
文章里说到“寂天菩萨说，我们的心识流并不被我们的肉体形式所局限”，它就是“稳定”的。既然它是稳定的，没有年龄，也不会老化，那它就能够学习、适应和调适，那我们也随时都能做出改变。所以说是我们限制自己改变。
文章里也说到改变，需要迫切感。迫切感来自于对存在本质的觉悟。存在的本质即是“一切都是无常的”，而对改变所产生的恐惧是源自我们对究竟实相——事物的无常本质——的抗拒。所以说学佛的其中重要性在于获得智慧看清事物的本质—-无常。
当你不开心，请想想文章里说到“我们企图依赖无常的因素来追寻快乐，并对此紧抓不放，这才是问题的关键。因果不是固定不变的，就意味着当我们创造了新的因，就会带来不同的果，这也意味着所有负面的情绪都能改变的。
你自己必须阅读本文，以便您可以更深入地了解和改变自己，并获得本文中提到更可贵的自由
The paradox is that although we reject uncertainty/change, we have the skills to change and evolve. I believe fear and laziness are primary elements that get in the way. If we want a different outcome, we should change our mentality.
Everything starts somewhere, just remember that there are always ways to make changes.
Start somewhere & be consistent.
Rinpoche has always stressed on the importance of mind transformation, to change our negative thoughts to positive thoughts. He always said: stop making excuses, just do it.
Human beings tend to give excuses. But it’s not all situation can give excuses. Be it in Dharma, or changes in our life. Sometimes, the situation is so solid in front of us that we need to face it without any excuses given. For example, the changes of life, and the changes around us. We can’t run away or hide. Even if we give excuses and escape this time, sonner or later, the same situation will come back to us. Life is short, if not now, when?
After seeing and hearing of so many deaths around me lately, I guess it comes to show that life is impermanence and we should not procrastinate and give excuses to the anything or everything. We should just go all out and do it and make that change.
Process of learning is never ending. Everyday there is something for us to learn and make use of. It’s whether we want to use that knowledge and turn it into something good for us. Giving excuses to why something can’t be done just turn it into a habit of negative thinking. We should always learn and try new ways to improve ourselves.
Excuses change nothing, rather than make excuses for their failures, we learn from each mistake. We always make so many excuses for ourselves in failure we should take full responsibility for ourselves and actions. Life is full of excuses, it is important for us to find a way or solution, to make an effort and determination and not excuses. Reading all these powerful quotes will inspire us to start to take back control of our own power and live with a life with no excuses.
Thank you Rinpoche for this sharing .
The main cause to remain in our confused state of existence that yields the unsure impermanent happiness we grasp. This is the true cause of our existence and also the endless rounds of rebirth we must constantly take without end.An inspiring article and good reminder to all of us. Always push ourselves in whatever we do to benefits others and ourselves. I had learned that don’t give excuses to ourselves and others in order to run away from the problem that we had.
This is the second time I comment on this article. Re-reading it, I found this paragraph especially powerful “Since nothing is permanent, how can anything impermanent be relied upon to bring PERMANENT HAPPINESS leading to peace of mind? ”
This is so true, we think travelling can bring us happiness, but it is not permanent. We think buying new clothes, bags or shoes can bring us happiness, but it is only for a week or two. We think friends can bring us happiness but they might leave us or betray us. We have to realise happiness is a state of mind, not from external factors. Once we have that state of mind where we are constantly at ease, no matter how our external environment or factors change, our mind will remain the same.
To understand impermanence, watch this youtube teaching from Rinpoche on Death. https://youtu.be/V4j5RJfu5X0
This is a very good and powerful write up about not trying to give excuses not to try and do something before trying. We must always think positive and make use of our strong points to do and not focus on our weak points and say we can’t do. If we always think we can’t then we will never grow and improve. Thank you Rinpoche for this great article for people to contemplate on and start to realise we can do something if we want to transform.
If our minds do not age that is such an amazing thing to happen for sentient beings. So every life we are born to, we have reset button for our minds how wonderful! If when we start our new life and we have an aged mind, that would mean we cannot learn and absorb things quickly when we were young. Hence this proves that any person no matter how habituated they are, can reverse their habituations.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you for the teaching in the topic of impermanence.
Many of us always use excuses to escape us from our comfort zone or from our own perspective gain. However, we have to clearly understand and realize that everything is changing.
“Aging” is one of the facts that shows us on impermanence but we never learn from it. Only when our time is near to the cemetery that we realize that many things should have been done but we didn’t do.
So what we learn from “impermanence” is we have to contemplate and realize that the only constant change. Whatever we had done wrong we still have a chance to rectify and there is always a solution for us.
Finally, I would like to use Rinpoche’s quote which gave me a great impact and motivate me keep going and do more to benefit others at the same time embark my spiritual practice. “Never sit by and let it happen and keep quiet. Never.”
Thank you.
Humbly with love and palm folded,
Ng Jesvin
Great Tzem Tulku tx!
找藉口为自己辯护，而不愿去改变，结果却原地踏步!一切都没有改变，才来怨天憂人.这都是大多数人的习気．就如上师所说，不愿改变，是因为怕跳出舒适地带，所以害怕改变，这些都是「心识，造成的，万物都会物换星移，会坏，会空。看了上师的开示才明白唯有心识不会变老也不会变小，但不变，就一切都不可能改变，所以也就是说我若想改善或改变目前的一切不好和坏的更西、就让心去自由，去䆁放，去改变吧！再加以行动．所以再也别以我老了，不行了当藉口，为自己 找一个避风的港湾。1
我之前并没有从这个角度来思考：我们的心，不会随着年岁老化，也不会随着身体的衰退。心，是没有时间限制的。
既然心不会老，很合理的就是－－心就不会因为身体机能的衰退和年龄的增长而失去学习新事物的能力、随着环境做出相对转变的能力。因此，任何关于“我老了学不来了”的藉口，就是藉口而已。
仁波切关于心不老的教诲，让我想起之前有人提及学瑜伽时身体的柔软度不是来自身体，而是心的弱软度。我也刚看到一个关于动物的有趣资料，说鳄鱼是“最不认老”的动物；因为它们不管年纪是不是一大把了，只要有足够的食物下肚就一如既往地如当年年轻力壮时游泳、活动和猎食。所以，鳄鱼只要一生没什么病痛，可以活到112岁。老，是从认老开始。无法改变，也是因为我们内心不想改变、害怕改变。其实我们害怕的是“这世上没有什么事物是永恒不变的”，拒绝接受这真相才是让我们呵身边的人痛苦的根源。
而接受改变，原意去改变，源自于我们认知到没有什么是永恒不变的，包括当下的状况，以及现在拥有的快乐和幸福。所以将我们的快乐下注在不是永恒的事物之上肯定会让我们失望。唯有在我们了解到没有什么是永恒不变这个真理时，我们才可能有要做出改变的迫切感。或许我们会以为这个万物无常的想法很让人沮丧，其实不然。反之，就因为心是不老的，是可以重新学习的，所以任何导致我们无法追赶得上的、不快乐的习气，都是可以改变的，都不会因此让我们一直一直落后和不快乐直到永久。如此一来，万物无常的认知和只要你愿意就可以改变的事实，的确是让我们变得自由起来的原因。
感谢仁波切的教诲。
The connotation excuse is often associated with something negative whereas reason is associated with something positive. Both to me are two sides of the same coin. It’s just a matter of perspective how we want to see things and perspective is only in the eye of the beholder.
The beauty about reasons/excuses being impermanent is that whatever situations or conditions that we perceived to be the reason for us being unable to do something can change and as such what we are unable to do before doesn’t have to remain that way. This wisdom/logic when we embrace it opens us to a world of endless possibilities. “Cannot” will not always stay “cannot”. Similarly “can” will not always stay “can” so when opportunities arise, seize them and make the most out of whatever ideal conditions at the time for this too shall pass.
We know we have the choice to make changes because nothing is permanent. No one is permanently angry at us or like us as a matter of fact as we all function from impermanent perceptions on everything. We are given a chance to change our perception to lift or drag ourselves every single moment. We can choose to apologise or to hide, we can choose to study and improve or choose to stay stagnant and complaint. Either way, we have a choice.
We are making choices constantly from the moment we wake up to sleep – we have to decide what to eat, what to wear, what to do, who to meet, where to eat, shop, park, walk…and the list goes on. Our choices range from big to small, significant to insignificant etc. All these choices determine the results of our choices. So it is important that we make good choices that yield positive results.
We might have made many wrong decisions in life based on our perceptions. Since the choice to make changes are there, we can always do something about it. We can choose to fail; by failing we are telling everyone that we are selfish and we care only for ourselves. When we choose to fail, we are making our loved ones worrying about us, constantly on the look out for us and making things difficult for them. If we truly love someone, we will choose to be successful, to be independent and happy. At the end of the day, we are in charged and we decide who we want to be, what we want for ourselves and people around us.
Very happy that I am able to put my thought here although I’ve visited this post many times before. Many things have changed, including the people around me and especially those in Kechara. I often reminded myself, never judge others, for we do not know what they have gone through. Excuses are not permanent, so do our environment and the situation that we are in now. I also have my excuses, but I try my best not to let excuses to deter me from achieving what I’ve wanted. I prefer to reinforce ‘good’ habituation as karma is scary, so does habituation. There’s no better time than now. Having gone through little hardship, made me appreciate the significance of learning/practicing Dharma more.
“When we wish to accomplish something, it is very important to not complain to others, about others and about our situations. “. Just move on and do it, even the step seems so small.
Thank you Rinpoche.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this wonderful article and those meaningful quotes..I do enjoyed reading it.There is so much to learn from the post.Its really inspiring me to work harder and never give up. A positive attitude and optimistic thinking…that i got to remind myself.
Thanks again Rinpoche for sharing .
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this article.
1. We human are all full of excuses, reasons and justification that we can’t do or don’t want to do. It is our wrong perception and that we want to dwell on to it. We must realise that if change don’t take place then we will never progress and improve.
2. The excuses and reasons are all in our mind. We have the capability to learn new things and challenge. We must realised this and breakthrough our wrong perception and comfort zone.
3. When we realised impermanance, we will have the urgency to change and transform. We will not procastinate. And by improving our negative habit, we will see result.
4. The various quotes above serves a very good reminder for me.
Thank you Rinpoche for always sharing dharma in various methods so we can understand it easily .
Excuses are merely just plain thoughts that can hardly help. Even if excuses do help, the benefits are short lived. Therefore it is extremely important to find your way around things and not make an excuse to escape.
All the quotes carry a very simple message and that message is: Nothing is impossible.
Remember there is always a way around things, so keep searching for the way.
Excuses and reasons, like the rest of the existence, are impermanent. Holding on to reasons to delay doing anything will result in us losing out the window of opportunity of actually do it. Reason cannot be permanent because if it is, then the reason why car was impossible would still be valid now.
While the existence around us are impermanence, our mind is constant. It is constant because it neither age nor become younger. As age does not affect the mind, it is capable of learning new things and changing its habituation.
By understanding the afore-mentioned truth, we should not be hesitant to change for the better. Only by changing ourselves and our wayward thinking logic, we will be able to stop repeating the mistakes that we have been committing for the past many lifetimes.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this teaching to make us understand that we will not have any permanent happiness because of our ignorance, thinking that permanent happiness can be brought about by impermanent factors; such as relationship, friends, wealth, entertainments, etc. The time is now to get out of our comfort zone and change to be better.
Humbly, bowing down,
Stella Cheang
Thank you Lama. My ego is huge and crazy as hell. I wish there could be a final showdown where one of us dies. Too much excuses destroy the soul.
好喜欢这篇博文，因为可以让我们更了解自己的心识是如何的运作：
1. 不要再为自己找藉口或是理由来解释因为自己的自私或惰性而造成的后果。
2. 要学会辨别事情的真伪和重要性。因此我们既需要宗喀巴大师与文殊菩萨的修持法让我们可以得到7种智慧来面对这一切。
3. 因果不是固定不变的。也就是说一切事物不是永恒而会变化无穷。因此，我们要积极的累积功德，希望以此功德抵销以前所累积下来的恶业。
4. 心识是自由的而不受时间所影响。如果我们可以转变心识，将以前不好的恶习改掉，放下自我。如此长久下去，我们的心识将不会受到世俗中呈现的妄想所影响而终究得到解脱。
感谢仁波切的分享。
A lot of people always give reasons to fail which originate from their self-created delusions and projections, when the disciples stay near Rinpoche, their fear will be gradually eradicated with Rinpoche’s skillful means. Rinpoche trained the disciples to first identify where the fear come from, then face it and conquer it. Therefore a disciple who used to give various excuses why they can’t do this and that, usually emerges as a more confident person who can accomplish things, when they stay around Rinpoche long enough and listen to his advice.
Oh now I understand better why Rinpoche always tells us not to justify or make excuses.
On a mundane level, the job we need to accomplish has benefits for others. When we make excuses, we are not able to accomplish that task and so people suffer. If we go a little deeper, when we come across difficult tasks which has benefits for OURSELVES, rarely do we justify why we can’t do it or why we don’t want to try. Why? Because when the beneficiary is ourselves, we care that much more about succeeding; we put in the additional effort, tolerate with additional suffering to accomplish the result that benefits us. So making excuses and giving up when we come across something difficult when the beneficiary is NOT ourselves, is reinforcing our habitually selfish mind.
On an ultimate level, justifying or making excuses reinforces our habitual and deluded thinking that things are permanent and have an inherent nature, because we are saying the situation cannot be changed and the problem we have is insurmountable. When we say ‘no’, we are therefore denying the possibility that things can change – i.e. we deny that we can gain knowledge, improve and get better. How do we know this possibility exists? Proof of that possibility can be derived from examining the course of our own lives. Hence what Rinpoche said: “No matter what space we are in now, it can be changed for the better since enlightenment does exist.”
When we were kids, we didn’t think that it possible for us to do what adults can do. As we grew, we gained knowledge which was acquired through learning, experience, trial and error. So things we previously thought impossible, gradually became possible. So when we say ‘no’ to something now, we are denying it out of our current ability, thinking and understanding. But our ability and thinking (and therefore understanding) can change – ability changes based on experience and learning, and thinking changes based on greater exposure and awareness of other points-of-view and methodology.
Hence saying ‘no’ and making excuses actually has a much bigger impact on our psyche than we’re generally aware of.
What Rinpoche wrote about the agelessness of our minds struck a chord with me. It occurred to me that in fact, if our minds are a continuum, then it should be endless in its capacity to change, retain, improve, grow. Since it is endless in its capacity, why is it when we are born as babies, we have lost all of the learning from our previous lives? How come we haven’t retained anything? We come back over and over again to start at square one. Back in the same infantile body with the same physical limitations, having lost all the knowledge and learning we accumulated in previous lifetimes, but having retained all the imprints (negative and positive) and having to start all over again. What a waste of time. No wonder high lamas and learned beings strive to leave samsara in this lifetime alone, because it’s such a waste of time to be stuck in an endlessly cyclical rebirth.
And of the quotes Rinpoched posted at the bottom, the one that stopped me was “Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening.” I liked it because I find it encourages us to take responsibility for the state of our minds. It also highlights that every moment we converse with our minds is a choice – we can either choose to talk to ourselves to leave positive imprints, or choose to talk to ourselves leaving negative imprints. Whatever it is, the choice is in our hands and those thoughts, as Rinpoce says, manifests in speech and actions.
心识和身体有一种密切的联系， 所产生的识叫“身识”。在身识产生的同时，有一种心所同时生起，这个心所叫受心所。我们通过身识和心所的信息，给我们的经验定位，“这个然我感觉不好/痛/不愉快；或者“这个然我感觉很好/如意/不愉快”。由于凡夫的心识太粗大了，因此我们把身体执为我。但真正分析下来，身心是可以分离的。
心识既然是独立于我们的肉体并且是自由的，那我们应该努力学习、更进一步， 要不然证悟就会非常遥远- 原地跑步是达不到证悟的。 我们不应该继续以藉口无知地”自我催眠“以至于无法接受/学习/适应新事物、环境、概念。
These quotes are so simple and profound, yet that most of us do not bear in mind that these are the simple components in order to make us successful in life. It’s very easy to talk and agree with all these but very seldom we see people actually put it into practice.
My favourite quote would be the one about friends and friendship. As I grow older, I slowly realised that having a lot of friends do not necessarily mean anything. Sometimes having a few who really care and love you is all that matters. My principle is, do not ever backstab others and always stay loyal to one another. If a person can’t even be honest and loyal, how is he/she worthy of respect? I really enjoyed reading the article, it reflects a lot about human psychology and how people operate.
Very powerful logic delivered in such a simple way to grasp. This reasoning is crucial – when factors change, the result/outcome changes as well. This is important to remember. Therefore if things are going well, know that the factors creating this consequence is ever shifting and ‘things going well’ will not last forever unless we understood the impermanence of all phenomena and we are prepared to shift along with them.
Similarly if things are not going well, it is again the factors as they are at that point. Change the factors and we will most certainly change the outcome.
‘Fate’ and ‘Luck’ are therefore our wisdom in affecting changes to the factors.This puts us in control unlike excuses and blame which makes us hapless victims.
In Kechara, one of the key words is ‘transform’ that denotes a mind shift and this is the reason. A mind shift, changes our conditions and outcomes and seeing that most people are unhappy about one thing or another, then there is nothing to lose by shifting.
Fantastic article and teaching that is powerful both in worldly and spiritual applications.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you for another amazing post that is insightful and thought provoking. Of the many teachings and words of wisdom here, these are the few that spoke to me the most:
1) Since karma is not fixed, the results can be different if we create new causes.
2) If we cannot change, then we negate Buddhas and their enlightenment.
3) We shouldn’t limit our spiritual growth or improvements as a human being by blaming it on factors that are changeable. All factors are changeable or at least less difficult if our determination to accomplish it is there.
A great read to revisit from time-to-time to remind us of the true nature of things.
With folded hands.
Thank you Rinpoche for beautiful article.. We spend too much time finding other people to blame, too much energy finding excuses for not being what they are capable of being, and not enough energy putting our-self on the line, growing out of the past, and getting on with their lives.well its time to come out from comfort zone and with no excuses ..
This is another fantastic post and has deep and profound meaning. I think nothing could have reflected the post better than looking at the comments from various people across the several years that this post has been online. I can see many comments from various people that are no longer around anymore despite having praised the teaching, inspired by its profundity and yet, have decided to revert back to old behaviour that leads nowhere. It’s sad and an eye-opener to see how the human mind improves and regress according to what we choose to do. Just thought I point that out here.
Dear Rinpoche
Thank you for the article about excuses is impermanent. I am 100% agree with the article. Not doing work properly and give excuses will only last temporarily but not forever. Sooner or later, people will lose respect from you and nobody will want to work with you. Then, your reputation is ruined.
After your reputation is ruined, there are only two choices: 1. To go away to find another situation; Or 2. Stay and repair your reputation.
My personal opinion is better to put in your best effort. Even though you fail, just try again until you succeed.
Valentina
This blog post is a great reminder for me of how I should stop grasping on what is not permanent. Although I’ve seen so many people back stab you, so many people you love abandons, cheats and in the end leaves you, I did not realise I was still clinging on to this pain each time something bad happens to me and triggers the bad experience I had in the past. This then makes me ‘react’ back in a negative way, giving back the pain I felt to others. Hence I become stuck with the pain, I relive my pain, my past and I limit my mind set on how things are and from here I spiral downwards in the darkness. This is what Rinpoche made me realise I’ve been doing for years. And Rinpoche has kindly worked on me to show me there is definitely another way and the best way to actually start is to contemplate on the fact that nothing really matters once you are dead… so what is really the big fuss in the first place? This helps me catch myself, calm myself and quickly let go before in fuels my anger further.
So in the end I guess Rinpoche showed me that there is a choice and we can choose tonight to go to bed with an angry, unhappy mind or a peaceful, non-attached, happy mind. This same method can be applied in every aspect of our lives even whether or not we choose to be successful or not successful, it is really up to us and if we choose to be successful, we definitely can especially if Rinpoche says so. We just have to stop limiting ourselves and deceptive to ourselves because in the end nobody else suffers except us.
Mankind have been in search of immortality and agelessness since beginning of time. The best they could come up with is anti-wrinkle cream, botox etc.
The elixir of youth and timelessness exists within us all this time: our mind.
So much we are in search for rests within the space of our minds and yet this is the place we do not seek.
Thank you for this short but very powerful article.
Dear Rinpoche,
This post is again revealing the truth. We don’t know how long the situation we are in will last. To create causes for a better situation is the way. No matter how we perceive the situation, positive or negative, it is temporary. And, we have opportunities which when done with the right motivation, will lead us to good results.
To remember the urgency in every situation will help us let go of attachments quicker.
To ask for sympathy is a way to reinforce our shortcomings and not improve. We have learned over the year many things which does not help us. Now, as we know what to do, we must change and adopt better solutions.
Our brain is perfectly equipped for change. Awareness in everything we do is the key to transform and ultimately improve so that in every situation we will do what is necessary instead of loosing out because of fear or whatever we think is hindering us.
Thank You very much for this teaching.
Humbly,
Pastor Antoinette
Thank you Rinpoche for this precious teaching. Many instances we will cover our actions with excuses. Saying that it is too difficult or not able to be achieved without even trying when we know about it. When we are being given a situation, we have to just deal with it. It is a cross road that we have to choose a path. When we create excuses for it, we will loose that opportunity for us to grow and be stronger then before. Only by constantly pushing ourselves and setting a new limit, will we be able to grow.
However, what is sad is that many people so not do that because they do not want to step out of their comfort zones. When we do not make that step, everything before is uncertain. We will loose the chance that is being given to us as well.
Personally, whenever I am given a opportunity and not do it well, I will realise that I lose out after some time. It was because of the fear and laziness that I have that I missed the boat for improvements to happen.
This teaching is very timely for me as I now see how when we contribute things or overcome our fears one by one each time, we will be able to achieve so much more.
This post really reminds me of the Four Noble truths, especially that suffering has its causes. Now some people might ask what does this have to do with the Four Noble Truths, but this post is a deeper explanation of the Noble Truths. When we are studying the Four Noble Truths, many of us only do so on the surface, but never drill down to the meaning and how to apply this in our lives.
In this post Rinpoche explains that we shouldn’t make excuses because they are based on a supposed ‘fixed’ or solid view point. And this ties in with the 2nd of the Noble Truths, that suffering has its causes. This cause in part is impermanence, and our mistaken ability to operate from the perspective that everything is permanent. This is a very powerful teaching, and from own understanding is very liberating.
Some people might find this a revelation that may be somewhat daunting, but this just goes to show how ‘comfortable’ we are in our particular situations, despite how much we know or think that we suffer. This is in fact liberating, because we do not limit what we are capable, and that we can have great success depending on our own persona endeavors. It is through this realisation that our actions based on this to overcome our excuses that is an integral part of the spiritual path.
Aw such cool ladies in the picture who don’t take no for an answer and march to their own drums. At the end of the day you live with yourself nobody goes through our experiences or feelings or emotions. So remember to be kind to yourselves too.
Thank You for the teaching Rinpoche, people often find excuses to cover up their faults/ mistakes but they do not know that it’s actually dragging them down, just like quicksand. Sometimes we can cover up some things with excuses, but what needs to be revealed, needs to be revealed, people will find out in the end. Making excuses to make ourselves look good might bring us a short period of gladness/happiness, but it will not last long, we are either gonna be feeling guilty or people will start to find out the truth. So why don’t face others with the true ‘you’…?
It is true that whatever our excuses are, it is impermanent. We are always able to do so many things despite things that we may have already given an excuse to. Things that are us are constantly changing. When we have improved, it is not right for us to fall back to the previous situation that we may be in, it would only make sense if we continue to improve ourselves. This is so that we can learn even more in our next lives.
Rinpoche recently gave a teaching about the importance of having confidence and belief in ourselves and NOT putting ourselves and our potential down. I thought perhaps this might help readers if I shared it here, as it does relate to this blog post about making excuses, complaining and getting stuck.
Rinpoche had explained that for true Vajrayogini practitioners, the 24 holy dakinis of Vajrayogini’s entourage come to reside within the body of practitioner to bless their energy channels and drops. This also opens up the causes for the practitioner to achieve their same enlightened state, which is of course the same as Vajrayogini’s – a fully enlightened Buddha.
When we put ourselves down, say we cannot or make excuses for not achieving more, then we are directly or indirectly saying that we are not worthy of the 24 dakinis coming to reside within us; it is saying that we cannot be enlightened and we deny our own potential. It is like saying that we have a horrible house, it’s messy, it’s small, it’s inconvenient – would any important person then want to come to visit our home? Not likely. In the same way, when we say that we are worthless, unable to do anything, full of self-loathing, we are saying that we are not worthy vessels of something more, something higher – enlightenment.
On a physical level, when we make these excuses, we allow ourselves to remain lazy, stagnant and within a comfort zone. We say we cannot, so we don’t do it at all. So we stay stuck wherever we are. On a karmic level, we open the causes to be further away from higher attainments and enlightenment. This is logical. If we continuously say we cannot do more, don’t believe in ourselves, refuse to better ourselves etc, that is in direct contradiction to the very nature of the enlightened mind, which is able to do everything! We could just think: would Vajrayogini sit and moan about not being able to do something? Or would she get up and try 108 ways to achieve it? Would Vajrayogini sit around hating herself, feeling incapable, stay stuck and stagnant? No, she probably wouldn’t. So if we’re trying to achieve enlightenment – which is Vajrayogini’s state of mind – then shouldn’t we be aspiring towards being like her now? acting and reacting like her? We don’t become Vajrayogini by a sudden switch of a button. We start becoming her now, in our every action, decision and thought. Practice, til perfect.
I can’t read this motivational stuff, because then I start taking action which annoys a lot of people who would prefer to stay asleep. :3
Dear Rinpoche,
I have recently re-read this post again after I had more internal turmoil as a result of my own stupidity and lack of care and gratitude towards people around me even though they have been extremely kind to me in more ways than one. Somehow i came to this post and I got the answers to the questions that I have been asking myself and at the end of the day all I have to do is to change my attitude like what Rinpoche has shared here and it is what I am in the process of doing. Things have changed and I see people around me differently, instead of keep feeling poor me and that it is the fault of other people hurting me, i realize that they are hurt too and the pain i experience is the same as them and i should not just focus on my own pain but also of theirs as well and do whatever it takes to make things up to them and apologize sincerely and never repeat whatever I have done to hurt them by always remembering how much pain it cost them and how much pain it cost me as well. Not wanting to do something about it in the short term seems to be good but karma does catch up and it does result in unhappiness.
I prostrate humbly to Rinpoche and I submit fully to Rinpoche’s instructions.
Thank you Rinpoche for this profound teaching.I love all those meaningful quotes and they are all very true.
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Not only excuses, but everything is impermanent and changeable as the Buddha has taught. As humans, our limitation is due perhaps to our confused state of mind in hanging on to “impermanent happiness” we grasp at, all the time, because of the lack of true wisdom knowledge. As explained, “wisdom is the mind that can determine actions which lead to long term cessation of fruitless actions and results.” We should strive to use the wisdom to accomplish a mechanism of change to enhance our spiritual growth or improvements, rather than using a lot of excuses to provide failures for ourselves in our everyday life. As impermanence is the hallmark of our life, yes, it should be used as an inspiration rather than a downer to further enhance our spiritual growth towards enlightenment, as the ultimate aim for a permanent and perfect life.
Dearest Rinpoche,
This post here is literally Lamrim 101 watered down so easily for ant dummy like me to understand.
Nothing is permanent, it is only our self grasping it, thinking it’s permanent is what makes us suffer and stay stagnant. Anything new will become old, every beginning has an ending and every ending is a new beginning. There is nothing to be hopeless, helpless about, there is nothing we cannot change. There certainly isn’t anything we cannot learn or relearn…
Life certainly gives us many chances to learn, but the wrong thinking that we have time, it what makes us miss the opportunities and change the course of our results… hence the time is not tomorrow but NOW.
If we can live by this profound teachings, advice, words of wisdom… our lives, actions and daily conduct would certainly be different.
There is so much in this post, that I can and will read it again and again and share it with others.
I love all the quotes! Thank you Rinpoche xj
Dear Rinpoche,
There are so many excuses I use in my life and work. How people treat me, how people behave, how people work, should not be the way I treat people, how I work; or how I react – whether to avoid or to face challenges.
The moment I decided not to avoid, run away from or using negative attitude to face anything or anyone that “make” me feel uncomfortable, immediately the feeling of uncomfortable, irritating or any negative feeling reduce so much. And I feel so much better and harmony inside.
No one blocking me in front of happiness or peace of mind, except me myself. happy or not is always my choice. When I choose to face the things/people that “make” me uncomfortable, not only make myself happier, people around me also happier. It’s so much worth choosing to face my uncomfortable rather than avoidance. With this, I was released from my fear, uneasy and uncomfortable.
Thank you Rinpoche for your teachings.
With folded hands,
Wah Ying
Thanks Rinpoche for the precious teaching and remind.
Life is impermanent, we always know but not contemplate deeply and practice ourself. When others meet some trouble we will always say all this all that is impermanent. But when the trouble come to ourself we will always blame this blame that and forget about “impermanent”.
May our ignorance being cut off quickly and contemplate deeply the word “impermanent” then make it to be our daily practice…
Thank you Rinpoche for the sharing.Your constant reminder are true words of an enlighten one who have seen it and actually re experience it within this life time and glimpse of the pass.Our limitation are due to our selfishness, the restriction we set on our self for our weakness and lack of commitment to perform what is due. In fact we should view impermanence as a second chance to redeem our self as there is still time to change before it is too late.We might not be so fortunate the next time around ,as for this precious human life ,we might not be able to meet up with Dharma the next life.
Thank you Rinpoche for the reminder.
“The mind is actually free and independent of our bodies or lack of it in the case of formless realms.” I still have difficulty grasping this teaching. I really learnt from this article Rinpoche wrote that as we get older we get lazier, and the best excuse we always use to escape any hardwork, responsibility, act and chores we’d always use the common phrase “I am getting too old”. I do not want to be this kind of person as I grow older. Its really inspiring me to work harder and to never give up. Thank you Rinpoche.
Dear Tsem Rinpoche,
Thank you for sharing with all the beautiful quotes and words wisdom. It has bring me benefits and encouragement . Sometimes human tend to be selfish, ego and stubborn. I believe that thingswill change with guidance and encouragement given.
I am trying my very best to change and become better and not to give myself many excuses.
Regards,
Venix
Dear Rinpoche ,
Thank you for this precious teaching, it is so rare for someone to constantly remind you of your true potential when all around you are people who constantly say they can’t do this and they can’t do that. So used to such conditioning that we almost believe that is true , such is the nature of samsara , we follow the masses until we meet one amongst us who is different . And inspired we are .
I think we all know that excuses are impermanent and that all that we experience is a passing phenomena. But what makes us fixated on something or not being able to transform or move on is because of the labels we put on ourselves and also wanting to remain in the comfort zone due to familiarization and laziness.
For example, we fool our minds that we are architects, hence we don’t can’t be good farmers. Or we are mathematicians hence we can’t be athelete. These are self imposed labels we put on ourselves that hinders our growth. Or we think just because one is a nun, they have the potential to benefit others more and we can’t. Labels and wrong projections.
Wanting to remain in the comfort zone is another key reason. The person may not be in a physically comfortable situation yet chooses to remain due to fear of exploring something new to try better ones situation. They end up just complaining and not wanting to change although they verbally express their poor situation. It is due to fear of rejection or failure and simply just too lazy to think out of the box and being comfortable in that familiar situation.
The inspirational quotes will just remain as words made out of alphabets if we choose it to. The same goes for our situation, we can remain in our comfort zone or step out as illustrated in one of the photos above depicting luscious green trees outside the tunnel.
Our failures were created and caused by us setting obstacles to ourselves by setting limits to ourselves saying i cannot, i can’t do this i can’t do that. But in actuality if we went ahead to do it by being determination, persistency and believing in ourselves to do it, we will realise it is not so difficult after all. Due to our laziness and a fixed thinking that we will not be able to complete a particular project is already a failure for me from the start.
Thank you Rinpoche for this teaching. This is so applicable to everyone of us in this world.
Strongly agree that our mind is timeless. We need to learn and change not matter what age, everything surround us is keep on changing but we are not aware it. When look back pass 10 years, a lot of things had changed and we might lost something too.
Really appreciate that Rinpoche keep on remind us. Nothing is permanent including happiness, no more excuse to change it for our better life and also bring happiness to others.
Love all the inspiration quotes!
‘Shantideva said that our mindstreams are not restricted to our corporeal forms. The mind is actually free and independent of our bodies or lack of it in the case of formless realms. Since our minds do not get old or young, it remains ‘constant’. Since it is constant without age or without ageing, it can learn, adapt and adjust if we choose.’ – I have been contemplating on this and found it useful as a reminder not to let physical body limit our potential.
This advice from rinpoche resonates deeply within me. Having not accomplished any of what rinpoche has advised, I find that the following key points have been with me for sometime, even since childhood.
Firstly, about change. When i was just a kid, my mother always told me “god helps those who help themselves”. She wasn’t an overly religious woman, and that was just her way of telling me to work hard and don’t rely on prayers for results (as many locals do). However, to me it meant that if I wanted to accomplish something, I could, as long as I put my mind and effort to it. That stays with me till this day.
Next, about sympathy. From certain experiences in childhood, I always knew that no one gives you respect. You have to earn it. Along that rather difficult journey, I learnt to not care what others thought, and to believe in myself. To succeed without relying on others goodwill or help. And forget about sympathy – nothing comes of it. Only success will gain you respect, if that’s what you want.
Lastly, impermanence. This was a new term I learned only after coming to Kechara. However, as a child, I remember wondering where I would go after I died, and that thought really scared me. i must have been about 5years old. Even then, the idea of impermanence was frightening to me – a person with no belongings or assets, nor even an idea of what ownership meant. It goes to show that grasping to things that are impermanent is really a problem we all have to deal withdrawn no matter which stage we are at in our lives. And the sooner we deal with it the better.
Dear Rinpoche,
What I learnt from this article is that I always give excuses for myself to change, like I’m too tired, I’m too busy, I don’t have enough time… But things keep changing when I give all these excuses, or when I keep waiting for the good timing. The fact is, things come and go and keep changing as this is the truth of existence ,if I just keep waiting or not willing to change, time and things are still going on, no one would wait for me. Even if I resist to change, things around me are still changing. So no point to hold on the emotions and think that everything would be the same when my mood turn better.
Everything in my life are not in my control, except my own emotion and mind. These are what I could control. Whether is for me myself or for others, I should go all the way no matter in what aspect and always put Dharma in my heart with me to go all the way in everything. This is what I could do and control for sure, no one could take it away from me. Ad this is what I look for in my life, something indestructible. Thank you Rinpoche for your teachings.
In another word, if we were to remain in our comfort zone, our habit will become so old that it made us sink further into the bottomless pit. If we do not do something about it while we have this precious human body, these old habits we have will trigger unfavourable results that will lead us toward the lower realms. When we are caught in that situation, we are intellectually disabled, which means we’ll continue to create more unfavourable causes that will pull us further away from making any positive changes.
When we think something is impossible and that we can never achieve it, it is the right moment for us to do the opposite, the only chance we have to clear this habit once and for all, so that we are safe and protected from being harm by it. Think about it, when we do not have the ability to think, we’ll not be able to learn new knowledge and that we’ll continue to do what others are doing. We could just be like a person in a sinking boat, we do everything to cause the boat to sink faster and not knowing what will happen to us.
Laziness in doing anything virtuous is very deeply rooted in most of our mind. It’ll distant us from our virtuous friends, our Gurus, the Three Jewels and Enlightenment; a chance to break the vicious cycle of suffering: suffering from taking rebirth constantly, suffering for not getting what we want, suffering from not being able to be with who we wanted to, suffering to always have to be with those we do not want to, suffering sickness, old age and death, suffering from change.
So what will a wise one do?
Dear Rinpoche
The collections of quote above are the things that have crossed my mind and/ or the conclusion I reached through some contemplation in the past. Surprisingly, my conclusions and the above quotes are pretty consistent with one another. I am not someone who easily believe in things or do things without knowing the reasons. having reach the above conclusions through contemplations made it easier to accept and adopt them.
Going through these contemplation process help me to prioritize what is important, as what I thought was important, things that hurt or made me fear so much in the past have shifted and from that I know that all things are impermanent.. And I am a much happier person today than what I was in the past.
Valentina
“Shantideva said that our mindstreams are not restricted to our corporeal forms. The mind is actually free and independent of our bodies or lack of it in the case of formless realms. Since our minds do not get old or young, it remains ‘constant’. Since it is constant without age or without ageing, it can learn, adapt and adjust if we choose. To use excuses such as I am too old, too habituated, or this is how I am used to it, really cuts away any sort of betterment we can offer ourselves and others.”
我非常喜欢这句话, 牢牢记住这句话到死，我相信我们会越来越好。还有“don’t make a permanent decision for a temporary emotion”，记得不要让情感影响你当作出决定时。
Thank you Rinpoche.
Shantideva’s teaching on our mindstreams is very profound. Everything comes from the mind, and it may go from one life to another life, it is ‘constant’, without age or without aging. So, it can be learn, adapt and adjust.
If we set excuses and the limit for ourselves, we will not be able to improve and benefit others. So, if we want to benefit others, then we should not set the limit for ourselves by saying we cannot.
To change, we need to have a sense of urgency. While to have urgency, we would need to have knowledge and wisdom. “Wisdom is the mind that can determine actions that lead to long term cessation of fruitless actions and results. ” This really need a lot of knowledge to get to this level of wisdom.
May i have the wisdom to see through the sufferings of fruitless actions and have the strength to change for the better and able to benefit more people.
It’never too old to try anything new, it’s never too late to change any habits, if I am looking for a better me, a beneficial me to myself and others. The example of mind not aged with or limited by our body is logic and clear the reasoning. I like it, thank you Rinpoche.
I am glad I am not giving up even though I always weaken in front of challenges. Thanks for my Guru for always sending in inspiration messages to motivate and inspire me.
This is an article that teaches us not to put limitations on ourselves, which in many circumstances limit our transformations.
Many times we create reasons that may or may not be true, and when we validate that reasons, we limit our learning for betterment.
I agree with the latter part of what Rinpoche has said about sympathy. Many of us like to create the situations and hope that people will feel bad about us so that we do not have to do something. Some of them may be valid, but some of them are not. Keep creating excuses not only limit our own growth but also make people start to see the truth inside us – that we are simply lazy. People are smart, we may lie once, twice but after a few times people will feel disgusted, and there are not many green pastures that we can move on.
Our making-use-of-others will turn the sword back towards us. And we lose the relationships. What goes around comes around.
Our failure is often caused by us not believing in ourselves or because we are lazy due to our selfishness. thank you Rinpoche for constantly giving us teachings on the possibility of us becoming successful and setting example for us to follow. With persistency and determination, we will make ours and others’ lives better.
The problem we may seem permanent is because we are focusing just the problem, even a small problem will become big problem, but when we step back from the problem we facing, open up our eyes and look further, we will then realize how small we are to just focus on our little tiny problem here. When we look back few years ago, or few months ago, those things that stop us from moving forward, they has already become history and we do not look at it as is so troubled as that time, so problems and difficulties are not permanent.
We must stop being the listener of our negative mind, we must stop our negative mind from telling us things, because even our motivation is positive, but with a negative mindset, + & – will become negative.
Our mind is the main culprit, they uses our body condition to play with their game, it keep finding excuses to continue to stay in comfort zone, when young, there will be reason no to do things, when grown up, there are other sets of excuses and when we gets old, there is all sorts of reasons. Then when we look back, we will live with regrets and regrets create anger and unhappiness.
Thank you Rinpoche for the teaching.
Rinpoche, thank you so much for your guidance. Very precious.
Reading through this, I find that I have varying degrees of all points written here. I have to take charge of them and make changes before this life runs out and my unchanged thoughts are brought forth to another lifetime of endless unhappiness.
Thank you, Rinpoche.
This is such an profound explanation, teaching and distillation of Shantideva’s wisdom on how the mind operates. It seems that our minds are very quick and prone towards providing us with lots of excuses to fail. I think it expose a lot of excuses I have been telling myself for many years now and how little I have accomplish because of these excuses. I am not old but there are many other limitations that we tell ourselves/myself such as I am too new or that I am not capable of doing more etc.
There are many quotes here but I guess the most important and relevant quote, I would say would be the last one about keeping quiet. I think that’s one of the most important as Malaysians are generally not very vocal about their feelings and thoughts. Hence, many a times, people fail to voice their opinion when it is necessary especially when it means that their reputation or anything else is at stake. So whatever is expressed in public may seem contrived or it could even sound overly diplomatic. I say this not to criticize or to say that I am above it as I am Malaysian too. Therefore, I find myself challenging myself to express particularly in important meetings like the liaison council meetings and so forth. Its not easy but an important training.
Thank you Rinpoche for such lovely and profound quotes.
If excuses weren’t impermanent, we wouldn’t change for the better.
It’s because all states of mind are impermanent, we can change and transform our way to Enlightenment.
Ultimately, our minds are ageless and timeless and not too habituated to ever change. The mind can learn,adapt,and adjust to become who we choose to be.
Such positive thoughts about the power of the mind!I love them.
Pastor Han Nee, ya, i like the way you called it -The Power of Mind. It’s we who set the limit and excuses for things in life. Thanks Rinpoche for the teaching
It is very logic and true that our minds have no limits and it is ageless. It is when we set limitations to ourselves and give excuses after excuses with all the justifications that cause us not to succeed. Our laziness and fear is due to our selfishness and ego. In order for us to excel and achieve positive results we have to break our limited perceptions, push ourselves forth and have a positive mental disposition.
Thank you Rinpoche for the teachings and all the meaningful quotes.
Dear Rinpoche, thank you for such a long post.
I do agree that logically that age is not an excuse for change, nor any excuse is valid for the mind to change at all. It is basically just people who cannot see that it is possible to change even despite the imaginary barriers they have put up for themselves. If these barriers can be broken, they can then change easily and the tool to do this is knowledge and wisdom like what Rinpoche has highlighted.
Thank you Rinpoche for reminding all of us on how and what we should be.
As they said rules are made to be broken. If the barriers have been made to protect now it has become a hindrance because we cannot see what is outside nor inside. The barriers have been built to be very strong over a long period of time. To break the barrier an equal or even more effort is required. There is no easy way to break barrier. Why? It takes time and effort to fashion the tools. Change happen in the process in the journey, it is happening now, not when the barrier comes down or broken.
Thank you Rinpoche.
Yes, it’s very logic that if our mind have age, then we should know everything when we were born. MIND has no limit, and everything is impermanent. That’s what I learn from this post.
We shouldn’t set limit or barrier of what we can do and how much we can do, we should always look forward to explore things out in order to do more for others. Any fear that hold us back, if it arises from our selfish point of view, is our obstacles to receive more Dharma.
We need to develop a good mind, for our future lifes to continue our spiritual journey.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you for this teaching which i shared in this morning’s Kechara Sunday Talk. It is so true that we are just limited with our perceptions of what we can or cannot do. I have many friends who are in their mid forties/early fifties who say that they are too old to do many things. And these are samsaric and commonly acceptable as ‘pleasurable’ activities like going trekking or skiing, let alone doing Dharma work!! I have always thought that these limitations are just limitations we put on ourselves because of our limited perceptions. Rinpoche’s explanation of how our minds are reborn over and over again and that they are actually ageless is logical and easy to understand. Everyone should read this and contemplate how each of us put limitations on ourselves, change our perceptions and take actions to create positive results. I definitely will. Change is up to us – and that is actually so empowering.
Excuses are impermanent because, no matter how much excuses you make, there is always someone to do the same job without excuses! 🙂
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing such important teachings. It has arrived timely for me.
Before I met Rinpoche, I had the impression that Buddhism is pessimistic and the practitioners just “let things be”. This blog post really teaches the world what it really means to be a Buddhist, to be the source to benefit all beings.
Also, I keep saying things are impermanent, yet when I look at the problems I am facing, I thought they are permanent. This post also reminds me that the limitations I put on my own is impermanent and it is up to me to break them and excel.
A lot of people are still hanging to a Past, whether it was a good one of a terrible one. If we experience something terrible and hurtful that happened in the past, we use it as a reason for the way we are now and if we do receive the expected level of sympathy we then get hurt or angry. If the past was a dismal failure, we hang on to that failure and feel inadequate and insecure and use that as alibis why we cannot get results or perform to a certain level now.
Or perhaps we are hanging to past glory days or past success which led to the development of expectations to be treated a certain and when we do receive the same treatment as we did on the past we get upset. Or it could also be a past method we we employed to some degree of success or appearance of success which we are still trying to use although things have changed.
Very likely it is all of the above to varying degrees and we combine them into one toxic brew that we drink every day which explains why we have not moved on and progressed in our development. Whatever it is we, are hanging on to something that is no longer there and was never meant to be there forever. But either we failed to see that or refused to accept it. So we end up in a lot of emotional turmoil and we impose the same on others.
The thing is, we can no longer say we we don’t know what went wrong. The fact is we do, but perhaps we are still expecting external people and conditions to change instead of changing our thoughts (which is probably due to ego, fear and laziness) which changes the way we look at everything in life.
The urgency to change is very real not only at the practical level seeing that every minute we refuse to change we are robbing ourselves because ultimately people give up not because they are unkind but because they too have their own sets of problems to deal with and we might even already become too much of a baggage for them to carry. Also conditions allowing us to change may not be there anymore in the next minute. If we suddenly die before we get a change to create new karma to change our live, it is a horrible thought to know that we will be reborn with the same negative mindset to experience the same mental torture again.
Thank you for this teaching Rinpoche.
Thank you Rinpoche, I reallly enjoyed this writing full of reminders, wisdom, and genuine kindness.
The word “trap” is my favorite analogy Rinpoche used recently, I think. When I look for “traps” it becomes a little clearer of what is NOT a good idea. And for me at least it’s not “trap” in the anxiety/ego sense of “I want my freedom!” but in the sense of “will this trap my mind, make me stupid, make the truth invisible, leave me open to suffering.” The thought of trapping one’s mind actually scares me, and I don’t think that would go away with having a wife and kids, watching TV, golfing, and so forth.
Thank you Rinpoche.
This is truly words of wisdom. With this piece of writing in mind, we must not let our ‘limitations’ stop us from pursuing the truth. Understanding and believing in impermanence is the first step for us to step out of our comfort zone knowing that we will never remain in the same position no matter how comfortable we are. Then it will be much easier for us to accept changes and not resist changes.
This in turn will set our minds free from our self applied limitations. When we can accept changes we will push ourselves out of our ‘limitations’ to try something we have never tried before, something new. When we are able to do so, we are more confident of going further to push our limitations. Slowly but surely then we get rid of this wall and then the limitations will no longer exist.
Benefits are boundless when we achieve the above. We no longer will give lame excuses of why we cannot succeed in tasks given to us no matter how small or big. When given a task especially in our Dharma practice, we will accept it happily no matter how ‘tough’ because we know our limitations we had in the past were merely an illusion. With great effort, determination and integrity we can achieve anything. Like how Rinpoche mentioned, we can achieve the qualities of the Buddhas and Enlightenment, its just a case whether we want to or not.
We make excuses for our own convenience, selfishness and that our needs require to come first. Observing how dharma borthers and sisters work in a project can tell us more than we need to know – they are true to their Guru, practice and themselves.
Some of us struggle through making these excuses. Some of us make them blindly without a single thought of others. This arises from our ignorance for we have not thought of them before us.
May I continue to strive to remind myself not to make any more excuses and just go and act upon it. Thank you, Rinpoche for the teaching and reminder. I love all those very meaningful Quotes and your elaboration of them. I can contemplate on them for they are deep, useful and meaningful and share them.
May, I like what you said. It is so true that everyday we make excuses, looking for reasons and if lucky , we may have a true story of saying: “I CANNOT..” but you know what.. even a true story serve as an excuse for us to stay in our confort zone of not wanting to do more.
Our thought run our lives. That means we are in control. We cannot stop all the excuses that we made but we can reduce it by cutting off 1 excuse a day. Very soon you will realize that those excuses were just our inner fear that served no meaning in our lives. Without those excuses, we will find peacefulness and happiness.