With Yourself
Dec 21, 2010 | Views: 478
Positive relationships sometimes can be wonderful. But you have to remember you are having a relationship with that person.
That person is the real object of your positive relationship. You don’t use that person to further a unhealthy relationship with yourself.
Tsem Rinpoche
Copyright Disclaimer: Under Section 13 of the Malaysian Copyright Act 1987, allowance is made for “fair dealing” for purposes such as non-profit research, private study, criticism, review or the reporting of current events. The Operator and author(s) of TsemRinpoche.com, a not-for-profit blog, do not claim ownership on the intellectual property rights of the contents, images and/or videos reproduced in this article. Any subsisting intellectual property rights shall belong to the legal owner of the contents, images and/or videos.
Please support us so that we can continue to bring you more Dharma:
If you are in the United States, please note that your offerings and contributions are tax deductible. ~ the tsemrinpoche.com blog team
In a relationship, most important is trust, honesty, respect, royal, happiness and communication. No relationship is perfect , there is always give and take. It can be wonderful and can turn sour at times. To have a unending relationships , both got to be true to oneself. A true relationship is two imperfect people but it cannot be use by one another with agenda.
Thank you Rinpoche for this short sharing and advice for us to ponder.
I agree with that point, we always think that we love the person, but we are just using them to satisfy with ourselves emotionally, as we try to get back from them of what we have lost. In the end it’ll just wear off both parties mentally and the relationship will just go wrong. If we can’t love ourselves how are we suppose to love other person openly? Since everyone is a damaged goods, it’s better not to further damage others and also ourselves. Thank you Rinpoche for this advice.
Short and simple but deep upon examination. I dont think many of us give much thought to why we conduct ourselves the way we do in our relationships. We may think we are in love, we may consider the other person to be our life partner, we may even think that the relationship we are in is helping both parties to be better people. But are we really?
During one of my earliest teachings with Rinpoche, a questions was assked that really made me think much deeper. “WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU DID SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE WITHOUT AGENDA?” and “WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME SOMEONE DID SOMETHING FOR YOU WITHOUT AGENDA?”
Easy question, I thought. “EVERYDAY”
But, then Rinpoche countered my thoughts. Are our actions really without agenda? Or are they done so that we are able to continue our relationship? OR business, money, family etc? Do we really love the other person to do what is best for them, or is what we are doing just best for ourselves?
So this quote, I feel, is a summary of that teaching that Rinpoche gave, and if we think about it enough and practice accordingly, then we are really on the way to a good dharma relationship. That teaching was aptly titled LOVE WITHOUT AGENDA. Watch it here:
PART 1 – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOhDRX4v7A8
PART 2 – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HasMXYZZ6A0
Thank you for all the reminders from Rinpoche to help us to practice the dharma!
Dear Rinpoche,
Seeing Rinpoche’s relationship with ppl is truly inspiring. Rinpoche is able to bring the best out of everyone Rinpoche meets. Being at Kechara House has shown me how important relationships are.
In the past, I never really cared about having any good relationships in my life, I have solely operated on serving my personal needs and goals and i believed i could go through life as an island. This has become a very bad habit.
Although I am still not a wizard at having good relationships, but I have began to operate for the benefit of others. I would not say I have great relationships now, but I feel I relate better with ppl. I realise that Rinpoche has great relationships because Rinpoche is able to know what a person needs and at the perfect time. Rinpoche is clairvoyent with knowing what ppl need, but I feel Rinpoche takes the time and effort to build these relationships because of the love and care Rinpoche has. There were many times i didn’t care when I knew what ppl needed (no, i didnt read their minds, they told me).
Thank you for the great opportunity to practice the dharma and learn from Rinpoche.
With folded hands,
I agree….