One of the many occasions that Tsem Rinpoche brought the team and our hard-working Nepali boys out for dinner.

Joy has been a student of His Eminence the 25^th Tsem Rinpoche for over 15 years. Through the years, Joy has witnessed Rinpoche’s compassion and the unconventional methods he uses to benefit others. Some of the short stories she shares will tell interesting miraculous events that Rinpoche will not mention due to his humility. She hopes these stories will serve as an inspiration in your own spiritual journey.

Rinpoche Through My Eyes – Eating Out With Rinpoche

On occasion, Tsem Rinpoche liked to take the Ladrang team out for a meal. The Ladrang is a lama’s private office and household, and on such outings others would often be called to join as well. However, when we went out for meals with Rinpoche, the Ladrang team were trained to never be like a guest. Instead, we automatically transformed into restaurant servers, helping the full-time staff there in serving the food. We even sometimes ensured the efficient running of the kitchen; I remember going into the kitchen a couple of times to help speed things up. Then, before the food was served, we checked if all of the orders were correct and that they were precisely what had been ordered.

I remember an incident when we were with Rinpoche in Bali. After a long day of hard work, we were exhausted and hungry one night. We ended up going to a café for dinner, but the cooks took forever to prepare the food. We waited for over 45 minutes or so, and everyone’s stomachs were growling. So Rinpoche’s personal assistant at the time went into the kitchen and started to help them cook! A few of us remained on standby to help serve the food, and we did what we could to help the café staff prepare everything. They struggled to cook for us because it was just a tiny little café in a village. So we had to put our egos aside and do what was needed to get results. All of this to help and get dinner ready for a group of just over 10 people. It was a sweltering kitchen but was an adrenaline-pumping experience.

Whenever we went out to eat with Rinpoche, it was an exercise in awareness and alertness. When we arrived, we needed to organise the seating. It was best if we arrived before Rinpoche did. Then, we would find and manage appropriate tables for Rinpoche, and whoever else was joining us. Instead of waiting for restaurant staff to be free to come to our table and deliver the menu, we assisted them with that instead. We took orders from the group and always ensured Rinpoche’s food, and drinks came first. Tthis meant speaking with the servers or manager, working together with them to make sure everything was smooth.

When the food was ready, we checked to make sure the order was correct before serving it to the right person. If we were put in charge of serving Rinpoche directly, which is a privilege, we need to do it in the least obstructive way. Why? This is to make sure we did not interrupt or be a disturbance, especially when Rinpoche is in the middle of talking to someone at the table. Because usually Rinpoche is skilfully counselling someone, opening their imprints.

When we are serving Rinpoche and guests, it should always be done without trying to advertise ourselves. We should always be as discrete as possible and not to make a big deal out of it or to show how “good” we were. Instead, we should do it quietly, humbly as this was a way to train us to serve others without any of the Eight Worldly Concerns, which are:

1. to be happy when praised,
2. to be upset when insulted,
3. to be happy when we receive things,
4. to be upset when we don’t receive things,
5. being happy with a good reputation,
6. being upset when we don’t have a good reputation,
7. to be happy when comfortable, and
8. to be unhappy when not comfortable.

It was also a training in guru devotion. In the teachings, it is said that we should never let the guru serve himself but always be ready to help him. However, this also applies not just to the guru but also to others. It’s training to remind us to put others first. It covers everything from beginning to end; the training was about making us more alert towards others’ needs and an opportunity for us to practise the Fifty Verses of Guru Devotion, which is about transform ourselves so that we can eventually truly serve and benefit others. Hence, the training always starts with the Guru.

The great Indian pandit Naropa said, “Before the existence of the lama there was neither buddha nor deity.” He said this because buddhas and meditation deities are emanations, or embodiments, of the guru; that’s why there was neither buddha nor meditation deity before the guru.

The great siddha Tilopa said to the great siddha Naropa, “The great results, blessings and inspiration you get from having fervent respect for your guru is due to your guru, therefore you should have fervent respect for him.”

However, at the beginning of his commentary to the Fifty Verses of Guru Devotion, Je Tsong Khapa said, “The only door for disciples who want to experience great bliss and gain the highest attainments without much effort is the proper cultivation of guru devotion. In order to open this door, I am going to explain the Fifty Verses of Guru Devotion.”

Thus, in all the commentaries by Je Tsong Khapa, everywhere—at the beginning and the end, in the dedication as well as in the introductory verses—he prays to cultivate pure and proper guru devotion.

– Geshe Ngawang Dhargyey, Commentary to the Fifty Verses of Guru Devotion.

Thus going out to eat with Rinpoche, being someone that served others, was a chance to exercise our guru devotion whether we were aware of it or not. In turn, this allowed us to collect merits. That was always Rinpoche’s goal – to find ways to help us generate as much merit as possible in whatever we were doing. But why are merits so significant? Merits help us absorb, understand and apply the Dharma teachings we have heard and studied. Merits also help us sustain our Dharma work. It is like fuel that helps us grow further in our spiritual endeavours.

The practice here was to serve others. What better way to do that than going out to eat with your guru? If we found it hard or were not used to this, that was an excellent way to self-check, to notice how egotistical our minds were. If we just want to be served ourselves, or we expect to be served, or we get upset when we are served badly, it indicates how strong our self-cherishing is. The training was a way to break our sense of entitlement, that “I should be served!”

When we serve others, we put our egos down. It humbles us because now we are the ones doing the serving. We come to understand how it feels to be in this service industry, to do this job, leading us to empathise with others. Just imagine how full-time servers feel standing on their feet for 10-12 hours a day or more. That is why this training is good for us to reflect, develop humility, cut our pride and ego, and treat everyone that serves us with kindness, respect and appreciation. They are human too, just like you and me. Everyone deserves to be treated kindly, no matter who they are. Rinpoche was teaching us how to be better, kinder human beings on so many levels. This was just one method. Many realisations can arise from just the one simple act of serving Rinpoche and others around us.

A glimpse of a rare moment. I managed to capture Pastor Seng Piow in action, serving Rinpoche, in this picture. A few of us, myself included, served the rest of the team. Serving the guru directly is the highest form of service to the Dharma that we can engage in.

These experiences taught me that it is time to get rid of the bad habit of waiting to be served. Instead, they were real-life experiences of Dharma practice geared towards putting others first and reducing our own self-cherishing mind and gigantic egos.

For more interesting information:

• Rinpoche Through My Eyes – Tsem Rinpoche, My Protector
• Rinpoche Through My Eyes – Looking for That Switch!
• Rinpoche Through My Eyes – Taboo Words
• Rinpoche Through My Eyes – Cooking For Rinpoche
• Rinpoche Through My Eyes – Vajra Yogini or Anger?
• Rinpoche Through My Eyes – The Assignment
• Rinpoche Through My Eyes – Change Karma
• Rinpoche Through My Eyes – Creating The Causes
• Rinpoche Through My Eyes – Buddha Images and Imprints
• Rinpoche Through My Eyes – Food and Dharma
• Rinpoche Through My Eyes – Spreading Dharma in Jonker Street
• Rinpoche Through My Eyes – What’s the New News?
• Rinpoche Through My Eyes – Mission Impossible

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