Tom Ford explains why he was unhappy
You don’t have to be fashionable or interested in the fashion world to know the brand Gucci. This luxurious and glamorous brand was on the verge of bankruptcy, till a man named Tom Ford stepped in. Gucci is now worth billions due to Tom Ford.
In 1990, Tom Ford joined Gucci and steadily climbed the corporate ladder. 4 years later, he became the creative director of Gucci. This means overseeing everything… conceptualizing and being responsible for all of the designs for the many products at Gucci: male and female clothing, jewelry, perfume etc. He also had to create the company’s image, the store designs and advertising campaigns. So he was involved from the top to the bottom of the company.
During the time he was the creative director at Gucci, Gucci group bought a controlling stake in Yves Saint Laurent or YSL, where he was also appointed as creative director. YSL is another huge fashion brand that is very popular so joining them as their creative director means Tom Ford had undertaken another second huge responsibility.
During his tenure at Gucci (1994-2004), between 1995 and 1996, sales at Gucci increased from $230 million to approximately $3 billion… that’s a 90% increase and Tom Ford helped them to achieve it!!
Born in 1962, Tom Ford studied at New York University (NYU) studying Art History. He later dropped out and became an actor in commercials… he was successful doing commercials but didn’t enjoy it. He then transferred to Parsons School of Design to study architecture.
Upon graduation he called a designer of a mid-price sportswear company, Cathy Hardwick, every single day for one month! Cathy is a Korean-born designer in New York who after 1 month agreed to see him. It was from there where Tom Ford started his career in the fashion industry.
Later on, he moved out of America to Paris. He said, “If I was ever going to become a good designer, I had to leave America. My own culture was inhibiting me. Too much style in America is tacky. Europeans, however, appreciate style.”
Last week, he was interviewed by TalkAsia, CNN. People have been interested in his every move since retiring from Gucci. He said in the interview:
“I went home the day that I resigned from Gucci – my last day. And my calendar was just blank. And I don’t think I anticipated how empty I would feel. And, when you’re used to having a voice in popular culture, how much I would miss that. And I had been fortunate enough to have everything happen to me very early in life. You know, by my mid-30s, I had enough money to live for the rest of my life. I had houses everywhere I wanted them. I had someone that I loved and that I’d lived with for a long time. My family is all still alive. My mother, my father, my sister has three kids that I adore. I had, you know, two dogs, a successful career – I had everything. Yet, I wasn’t actually really happy.
And maybe you have to be fortunate enough to have a very rich material life to understand, really, that materialism doesn’t make you happy. And so, I was having a mid-life crisis. And I put my mid-life crisis on screen. And it – you know, it was a rough seven years. It started when I was about 40, 41. And I don’t think I really pulled myself together until I was about 46. It was a long process. And it was a process that led me to a much more spiritual life, which I realize I had always really possessed. And a spiritual life in an Eastern way as opposed to a Western way.
We’re in China, and so I’m not just saying this because I’m in China. But if I had to pick a religious philosophy that most suited my own or spoke to me, it would Taoism. And the Tao Te Ching is something I travel with, you know. And I try to live my life in a way of being present.”
Tom has since started his own self-named brand, Tom Ford which has been nothing but successful. The interview between him and a CNN interviewer took place in one of his recently opened stores in Shanghai, China. In the interview, he shares about his personal and career growth and struggles.
He has been expanding very quickly in China and remarked, “… I think that a lot of Americans don’t travel enough. I mean, we know this statistically. How many Americans have passports? And Americans are so used to now seeing so many things made in China that come into America, but I don’t know that they really understand what is happening in China. And I really think that all Americans should stand on the bank of the river on the Bund and look across at Pudong and they would get it.”
Take a look at the interview of a man who has been successful because of his passion, his drive and his intense attention to detail.
I like Tom Ford’s directness and honesty. I like it when he says he has everything yet he is not happy or was not happy… that’s when he started to find himself and something deeper… He has found meaning in Eastern thoughts and is a Taoist. It’s a very candid and open interview. Why am I blogging about Tom Ford? Simple, he is honest and says clearly that material gains does not make you happy… that is wisdom… pure wisdom… that is what Buddha says too. Take a look at the short and interesting interview.
I like this short and interesting interview… it’s very candid, open and honest…
Tsem Rinpoche
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https://video.tsemtulku.com/videos/TomFord.mp4
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Thank you Rinpoche for sharing the interview of Tom Ford with us. From the interview, we can learn why he can be so successful and what he has realised from his past experience. His story is pretty inspiring.
There are a few things that strike me:
1. Tom Ford is very successful and the main factor to his success is his attitude. He is very observant and he is a very detail person. Hence he is able to know what people want and need.
2. He is a person with vision. First, he sets a goal of what he wants to achieve and then he works on the details.
3. He is very persistent and never gives up. When he graduated, he brought his portfolio and went to knock on people’s door trying to get a job. He continued to do that until he got the job.
4. He is very confident because he knows what he is doing and he knows what is going on.
Tom Ford has everything that money can buy but he realised the material stuff cannot bring real happiness. He was lost for 5-6 years until he found spirituality. It is from his spiritual pursuit that he finds the real happiness and contentment.
I think it’s great that Tom Ford can be so honest about how he felt and to admit that in spite of all his success, he was unhappy and felt so empty. It must be extremely difficult to be of that level and standing – where everyone has a certain expectation of how you must be and how ‘happy’ you must feel – and still be able to tell the world that no, you aren’t actually happy at all. Well, I guess acknowledging it is the first step to doing something more and it’s very brave for Tom to have done that, to now take that next step onto a spiritual path.
I also that perhaps in a roundabout way, being exposed to such a material world (such as in fashion) can inadvertently be a “good” thing if it makes us realise how empty the world actually is and drives us to find a more spiritual path instead.
This is indeed very inspiring, how many people out there are striving to become rich, trying on every way to get the amount of money they want, because to them, money = happiness, money can be spent in whatever way to buy them happiness.
But they do not realize when they have money, they will never have enough, and due to their unending greed, they will continue to strive for more. Sufferings and unhappiness starts from here, simple reason, how can you be happy when you have not enough?
Tom Ford reaches a level that everyone thought that is the level of happiness, and in fact, he said something else: maybe you have to be fortunate enough to have a very rich material life to understand, really, that materialism doesn’t make you happy.
He has became a real life example of Material wealth not equal to Happiness.
当我重读这遍文章后。。。深深感到Tom Ford 的感受，因为我自己本身也是身处在时尚圈里。几年前的我还未曾遇见仁波切时，虽然自身纵使享受着最佳服装设计师的荣衔，但我始终觉得内心的空虚和渴望。直到五年前有缘遇上仁波切后，这一切己经慢慢的在改变。。。。
也是另一个时尚修行的开始了。
所以，意识到Tom Ford 的情况，尤其他身处在世界时尚圈的最高峰，他要去面对的人事物胜于我几百倍。
可能，我们从事艺术工作者，看来难免都患有一个通病，就是凡事过于执著。
我也经历了事业高潮与低潮，看过无数同行因不够坚持，而选择自动退出或被岁月的洪流淘汰，如今的我，因为有佛法的滋润，对名利得失己经有不同的诠释。我仍然需要它们。因为，上师詹杜固仁波切教会我。。。名利对以前的我，是一种利己的工具，而今，它己转化成利他人的动力了。。。
Tom Ford is one of my favourite people. And for him to say that he has everything materially and is unhappy, really speaks volume. It goes to show that whatever we chase for in this world may not bring us happiness in the end. When he starts to look into himself and develop his spiritually, he is happy and brings meaning to his life. He is also an example of someone who is passion abt life and has time for spirituality.
When one is poor, one thinks that wealth will bring happiness.
However, this is proven not so even from the time of Buddha.
Many who seek deeper meaning in their lives are successful people like Tom. Having reached the worldly goals in their lives, they realised that true happiness is still out of their grasps.
When I was in China, I met people who are well off but feel empty despite material wealth. Kechara Tea House in Shanghai offers a place for spirituality and tranquility. Do visit KTH if you are in Shanghai.
Recently I mentioned that in the Taoism belief it is very lucky for a place of business if it is about 3 steps lower than the surrounding area and then someone retorted that she was surprised that I am a taoist and for once I was dumbfounded and could not reply and thought “I am a buddhist and now what is up with me?”
With reading ST’s explanation I feel more relaxed that I am not a mistaken identity but may even be a whole being with both parts of spiritually intact. What a relief!
I like both ST and Tsem Rinpoche’s comment on this video – valid, direct, open, honest like Tom Ford’s interview.
Tim Ford is highly intelligent, sensitive, fully aware of who he is, what he is capable of and an open mind to OTHER options in life to explore possibilities. He does not cling nor attached to his own success. He knew there were more to fame, ego and possession. He cherished his family alot, respect individuals for who they are and even make them feel good about themself although he can be very critical for being a perfectionist.
I enjoyed watching this relevant video suited to this day and age and thank you for sharing it.
Tom Ford is very handsome.Just like Tsem Rinpoche. 🙂
I just recently cam upon this site, always been facinated with other religons and so far this is my favorite explination of Taoism i found as of yet
Dearest Rinpoche,
I love this Blog post on Tom Ford. I am very glad to be reading this now. It comes at the most opportune time. Some friends have written to me saying how much they love this post as they read it from my Facebook, thanks to Rinpoche’s tag.
As far as I am concerned, the House of Gucci had the most wonderful collection during Tom Ford’s time. After he left, everything went downhill. I do not think Gucci has ever regained that void which Tom Ford left. And style has definitely not been the same without Tom Ford. He truly defines sexy and chic.
I thought I’d share what Rita Wilson wrote about Tom Ford in Time Magazine when Tom Ford was named Time’s Most Influential 100 people in 2011. Rita Wilson is also Tom Hanks’s wife and a close friend to Tom Ford. It gives a lovely intimate insight to the man and not so much the designer that is Tom Ford.
Tom Ford
Fashion and Film Director
By RITA WILSON
Thursday, Apr. 21, 2011
“Thomas Carlyle Ford. Even his given name reflects the elegance with which it would become synonymous. The world knows him as the designer who brought sexy back in the ’90s and has kept it there. I know him as the other Tom (after my husband Mr. Hanks) whose shoulder I can also cry on, who makes me laugh as hard as my main Tom. Tom Ford, 48, the closet comedian, who can keenly copy an expression, person or walk. He Skypes from his bed, on the opposite end of the planet, to check in with me in mine. But this sexy guy is kind and deeply loyal. Friendships are his other art. No flip-flopping. No fly by night. Tom has manners that are rare these days. Handwritten notes are common for the man who wore a three-piece suit every day while directing his visionary first film, A Single Man. Tom might be one of the TIME 100, but to me he is one in a million.”
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this. I always like people who make it on their own with their passion and effort. People who persevere despite all the challenges that they face are the people that I admire the most.
I love when he stated that he detached someone’s appearance from who that person is. We are a collections of appearances based on places and situations how we want other to see/ perceive us. It’s surface as he said. I think this is someone who have gained a lot of wisdom from his observation alone.
Much care
Valentina
It is interesting to know such a successful person, which have almost everything he wants at his mid-30’s and still feel unhappy.
This is a journey of life. If he didn’t reach that level he would not be able to feel the emptiness of real life.
His details of work, passion, setting clear vision and how he find and groom his people to make them realize the vision is so like Rinpoche. Tom Ford mentioned that he loves to build and this is just what I can see in Rinpoche. This is definitely the quality of a successful person.
To be successful in our work we have to go all the way regardless what people says as long as we are at the right path and right motivation. There are always 2 sides if seeing things. Is the matter of which constructive path we choose.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this.
Tom has great attention to details and he has foresight. someone who’s adventurous and daring enough to try new things without fear. Also, the point about some Americans not having passport and they should visit China- many people are ignorant and don’t know how big and different the world is from what they perceive. Tom shares similar characters and point of view with Rinpoche – to have vision, and is very clear on what he wants to do or achieve. Also, he’s aware of his mid-life crisis and also expressed it through directing a movie, from a novel he read. It’s great that he found spirituality and realise that life is more than just gathering material possessions.
Tom’s very talented in the beauty/creative industry, with imprints triggered by his grandmother. His career path is quite smooth because of this. This reminded me of Eric Choong who has a similar background. Although he’s in a material world, he’s a very pragmatic person. I believe he has a good relationship with his family and colleague- this is reflected from what he said in the interview. I feel what he thinks is similar with Rinpoche. To have a vision, to have a group of people to support and realise the vision, and to provide a good environment for these people to do their best to help realise the vision. I feel it’s a bit late for him to find spirituality after mid-life crisis. If he had realise it earlier, he could use his fame to benefit others. Thank you Rinpoche for sharing!!!
wow, for a amazing personality like Tom Ford who has it all in his mid 30’s, which many people been drooling and wanting, he is not happy with every material thing he has. amazingly spirituality in Tao-ism makes his life more happy and keep himself in check. no matter what religion, no matter what belief we are in, spirituality is the final destination of bringing inner happiness to oneself, and bring happiness to others.
Thank you so much for the explanation ST, Now i know more about it 🙂
Very inspiring indeed.I like what Karen comment!! I always believed that no matter how fortunate your life is to find peace and happiness is not easy till you really Been through it yourselve. I love his positive way of living his life. Thank you Rinpoche for sharing, love the video very much 🙂
Seeking the Middle Way in all you do.That is the teaching of all Buddhas.Fame and No Fame.Seek the Middle Way.Profit and Loss.Seek the Middle Way.By this effort.Thus,’The Way’ will be perfected.I guess.kekeke.
Tom Ford said that his perception of beauty doesn’t last forever. This to me, is similar to impermanence in Dharma. It’s better to do something than just talk about it. From a person in the same industry, I admire his courage. It’s surprising to hear from someone like him that materialism doesn’t bring happiness, not many are spiritual, especially for people in his position who’s very successful and in the fashion industry. It proves that it is possible to be spiritual while being in glamorous fashion industry where there are so many fake faces, superficial characters, wicked motivation, etc..Similarly, for me, I’m starting a line of mantra t-shirts, showing that it’s possible to still pursue fashion, although I’m in Dharma.
I learned that you must know clearly what you want and work towards that. Don’t look at the surface, that could be deceiving. Tom Ford was very different after his mid-life crisis, pursuing and doing what he really wants.
When I was first enthroned in Gaden as Rinpoche years back, many were very happy and rejoiced. Even deities who took trance rejoiced they told me. But there were a few people from my old centres in LA/New Jersey and a new friend who wrote me letters/or later I found out they were jealous. I was in shock. I mean the Rinpoche name is not a title, it is what I was born with I guess for lack of a better word. I was recognized by the highest authorities within the Tibetan Monastic system. What shall I do? Don’t be recognized? I mean they recognized me and said it should be done..
Also when I started teaching and more people attended, there were some other people who were not happy and spread rumours. But before I was teaching or became known, they were ‘close’ friends and we had association for years. They became unhappy when I became known and they showed it….yes, they did… I didn’t know who they were till this happened…sorry to say..really sorry… I was also amazed back then…but I wouldn’t be now anymore. So I can relate very much to what Tom Ford is saying…I think people are people everywhere and throughout time. No matter what, we have to just do what we wish to do..as long as it doesn’t hurt others.
I didn’t write this to bad mouth, but just to say it has happened and will happen to many people, and don’t hang on and be in shock too long as I was, but just move on. Do what you want to do and be successful. It doesn’t matter if others are jealous and spread rumours. They don’t feed you. You don’t rely on them. You focus on your goals, and if you fail, get up and try again. Because real failure is letting rumours win. And the best way to silence those jealous types is to be successful. Just do it..forgive them and don’t put more energy into them and do it…..Tsem Rinpoche
Dear everyone, watch tihis interview..no matter who you are, how much you have and even if you have enough money, something is always missing…so what Tom says….also a Korean Lady Cathy gave Tom his first job…interview is interesting. TR
You do what you have to do and you do it all the way. You get it done without quitting and that is how you make a mark in your lives and others. But at the same time he likes and enjoys being alone…me too. I can relate to that. Also when… he became well known, some person was nasty and hostile to him..i had that happen also..at the time I was amazed, but now I know that is how some are..when we do what we do and do it, we make them insecure, scared and remind them of things they wanted and didn’t do I would guess…so much understanding comes with age…
It is said that Taoism is an educational system that teaches us how to relate with Nature and the universe. Buddhism teaches us how to relate to oneself and other sentient beings. To be complete, that is why some Chinese sage combines the practice of Tao with Buddhism. Like these sages, maybe Tom Ford is still looking for the other half of the total system in finding happiness and meaning in life.
Dear ST,
What a beautiful explanation of Taoism. I really like it. And I like very much how you find Buddhism would match very well with Taoism.
Thank you. TR
I, too, really like this explanation of Taoism. Thanks for the reminder 🙂