There are four types of homes according to Buddha
From TheBuddhism.Net
1) A home where a dead man lives with a dead woman – Both the man and the wife are greedy, immoral & insult the clergy.
2) A home where a dead man lives with an angel – The man is greedy, immoral & insults the clergy, while the wife is virtuous & generous.
3) A home where a god lives with a dead woman – The man is virtuous & generous, while the wife is greedy, immoral & insults the clergy.
4) A home where a god lives with an angel – Both the man and the wife are virtuous & generous.
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Source: http://www.thebuddhism.net/2012/10/19/there-are-four-types-of-homes-according-to-buddha/
Such a short but profound teaching, very apt for modern day relationships. It is a good reminder of what marriage and family are all about. It is an equal partnership where both partners need to play their parts to make the home a real home and not just a beautiful house.
It is also very interesting how the Buddha used the word “dead” to describe one without spirituality. It is a stark reminder that being alive in the truest sense is leading a life of virtue, not living a life in the fast lane.
This is a simple but insightful piece of information and something many modern relationships can learn from.
This is simple yet profound. I don’t think that the first one can be called “home”. A home is where we feel most comfortable, safe and at ease. Living constantly in greed, immorality and insulting people who have dedicated their lives to work for the welfare of others lead us nowhere but a life full of sufferings. A place with people like this can only increase discomfort, insecurity and uneasiness. It is not so bad if you have someone in the house who practices virtuous actions and are generous. At least there is a chance for things to be more balance, in a way.
It is interesting to note here that the Buddha does not condemn nor condone relationships but merely illustrates the tendencies or combinations of two persons within a relationship.
If one were to analyse the four above, it is prevalent that most relationships do fall into one category, perhaps to varying degrees. The thing is, for those of us in a relationship, where do you think you fall under and why?
Wow, this is a very interesting perspective about one’s household.
Just from the description, we know that the Buddha does not encourage a person that is greedy, immoral and insults the clergy.
It is also interesting to know that the Buddha relates a person with such negative thoughts are alike a dead person, which to my interpretation would mean that people with that negative attitude is not living life’s main purpose or living life to the fullest and is like a dead person.
Interesting analogy indeed! But I was just wondering for no.4 why not say “A home where a god lives with a goddess” ??? Okay I am a bit of a feminist here but yeah I like the analogy of how when we are with a partner that do not compliment one another but instead drag one another down, this is not very good. Especially if one is doing Dharma work and the other is not supportive.
If one is supportive of one’s partner who is doing Dharma… the partner who is not doing the Dharma also should rejoice and help support by not giving their partner more worries, problems, or complain and demand… for they too collect virtuous merits by being supportive to their partner that is in Dharma.
Well Joy, because the analogy of the God and angel is because it was given during the time where people are generally regard woman as lower and inferior. In fact, they are still have that kind of regard for woman today in India, hence their high statistics on brutal rape cases. Inequality is deeply embedded in Indian society but with the recent cases may bring about social change.
Anyway, how I would interpret this is the Buddha’s skillful means to push for partnerships with a lower or a spouse that can nurture us spirituality or that we are able to uplift them. How much sway we have on our lovers and spouse would depend on how much we have internalized the Dharma. If we are very religious and going through all the motions but have not put any of the teachings into practice, we would not be able to influence our partners. That’s what rinpoche had always told me.