Kwok Wai & Bonita
Dear friends, I had Kwok Wai and Bonita give a talk last night May 3, 2012 on the “This Is Important To Know” post. I have been given giving teachings for decades. Some absorb, some understand, some partially understand, some apply it to themselves, some get nothing from it. Everyone is different… All is fine, but it is interesting now to have people give a talk on what I have been sharing for years. I will have more members of Kechara give talks to help them and others deepen their understanding. If you have to give a talk, you will prepare… it’s different than just listening I feel.
I chose these two to give a talk on the subject mentioned to get a feel for their understanding. The more you understand, the more you can transform I feel. How much you transform is how much you understand. Likewise how little you understand is how little you transform. Well here is their talk… Do let me know which one do you feel reached you? Which one is helpful to you? Which speaker in your honest opinion grasped the subject? I am not asking you to judge, but to share your opinion only.
Tsem Rinpoche
Note: Bonita has been with me for around 7 years and Kwok Wai has been with Kechara around 3 years.
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Thanks Kok Wai and Bonita sharing! Both of the them are spoke well but personally I more like Kok Wai’s sharing . His sharing was easy to understand and sincere..just based on his own experience from his understanding of “Integrity” in feeding the homeless and work. ! For Bonita, she may be a bit panic, needs more preparation , she can improves over time and by practice.
Thank you Rinpoche for giving us the opportunity to learn and improve!!!
Thank you Kwok Wai and Bonita for sharing to us.
I can easier understand it well by Kwok Wai speech that he is so sincere from heart sharing his experinces integrity.
Kok Wai engaged the audience with his speech from the start.His presentation was natural and not rehearsed.He relate his experiences and commitments he had to fulfill through his work in KSK.
Thank you both for sharing your thoughts.
Thank you Rinpoche for giving us the ooportunity to improve.
It is very nice for Kwok Wai and Bonita to read and present what they think and learn about Rinpoche’s post. Bonita is more intellectual but need more personal experience and as few the people mentioned, to let the teaching touch her heart.
Kwok Wai related the teaching with his experince with Kechara Soup Kitchen which I think it is very good. I hope he can continue it and consistantly be the light for others by applying what he learned to his work and daily life.
I agree with most of the people here. I prefer the talk by Kwok Wai not just because he can speak well, but also apply it in his life, Dharma is for us to apply it and not just learning, then only we can improve. We have to try and fail and try again then fail again, this is a cycle, we are not Buddha nor perfect, but most importantly, we tried.
Kwok Wai and Bonita is good. For me : both of them speak very clear and i understand what they are trying to describe. Thank You Rinpoche, Kwok Wai and Bonita. 🙂
Best Regards: Erickksiow
i like kwok wai sharing with he used his experience to relate to integrity that he talked about, from this we can get a clear message of the meaning of integrity and how it important and how we can apply into our life.
Bonita talk is dry and full with content without example so the audience will not be able to get a message that she want to pass out easily.
However Thanks for your sharing.
My 2 cents:
Kwok Wai has a very good stage presence and he could deliver his speech smoothly because he truly understand what was he was saying. He further supported his own understanding through sharing his own experiences.
Bonita might understand ‘integrity’. But I feel that reading out straight from the papers might make your audience lose interest in whatever that is being delivered. I was having a hard time listening to her and understanding whatever it is that she’s saying.
Personally, I have the worst stage fright and stage presence ever. I have never understood why but after learning Dharma I realize that it is because of my ego.I hope that I can trample my ego with my Dharma knowledge and practices..
Thank you, Rinpoche!
Kwok Wai’s sharing of his understanding of integrity is so much more engaging than Bonita’s for he shared and expressed his inner thoughts before and after on how it affects his work, family and friends.
Thank you Kwok Wai!
After Bonita read the article, she reiterated what was in the article like how she read it. She did not express clearly how it applied to her or her experience.
On the other hand, Kwok Wai just put the article away after reading it and started talking of his experience of how the topic relates to him personally, what he learned and how he will continue to improve on his personal trait related to the article. He almost shed tears when he was sharing his experience and I think his team cheered him there. Well done, Kwok Wai.
Kwok Wai applied his understanding or experience of “Integrity” in feeding the homeless.
Bonita explain all the meaning as in text and more example or experience when speech.
Kwok Wai is able to engage with the audience and relate his personal experience with the topic at hand. With this, the message gets through much easier and I personally have a better understanding of the topic as compared to Bonita’s explanation which is dry and theoretical. When Bonita was explaining each point, I was trying very hard to relate them to myself.
Nonetheless, it is a very good effort from Bonita and Kwok Wai.
Thanks Rinpoche for sharing these, and this is a way how Rinpoche train student to be better, to learn and speak up.
My tears came out when I listened to Kwok Wai, as I have been seeing him involving in KSK. He spoke from his heart, he really walks the talks. I am glad how he has come along. He is the “Wong Si Fu” who every client in KSK respects, he really light up their hearts with hope. I wish Kwok Wai hold integrity tight and go all the way with Dharma.
For Bonita, she might be a bit panic, and what she said yet to relate to what she has done. I hope she can open up and speak more from her heart.
这是一个考验我们平常修行对上师的教导和专化心态的课程。。
谢谢仁波切又给我们上了一堂课。
也给了我一个认真和用心加思考的修行。
如果要做个比较的话呢！当然，Kwok wei 的表达方式是比较有思考，他把开示
用在生活上。。。不过，也得要继续修持。。。然而，Bonita的表达方式是
把重要句子表现出来，不过，我也希望她能够学习到。
其实，这一个开示不只是他们两个，而是我们许许多多佛法修行者对上师的教导认识有多少，
和佛法的证悟。。。。
我愿在此向你们学习。。。。
Thank you to Bonita & Kwok Wai for sharing with us about your personal view & experiences through dharma.
Kwok Wai did fairly on the subject matter by sharing a lot of his personal development / advances gained through his dharma practise with KSK. He is more open-minded & not shy to shares his thought & feeling. Keep it up, Partner ! This is a beginning of new journey for you
On the other note, Bonita is more reserved about her feeling & thought & understanding of the subject matter discussed. She needs to shares more & connect with the audience. May be due to her lack of public speaking experience in her career, hence she could not express very well & nervous may play a part in it too…. but with commitment to improve, I am sure she can do a wonderful presentation in the near future…. Bonita, YOU CAN DO IT !
Thank you Rinpoche this sharing.
Also thanks to Kwok Wai and Bonita speech about integrity.
Sorry to say that Bonita needs more practice on her speech as i think that she is saying back the same thing again and again.
Kwok Wai’s speech was more easier to grasp and understand, he even share his experience with us. I think he always share it with others?
And from his face expression, he seem like gonna wept which i think the speech was from his sincere heart.
Presentation and having good, clear speech do play an important part for a talk to be effective and mind blowing. While most people may not have that skill and it takes a fair amount of practice and time to polish it, what is important to me in regardes to this particular assignment by Rinpoche to Bonita and Kok Wai is the sharing and making it easy for people to understand while being able to benefit from the talk. The whole objective is to teach.
Content wise, I find that Bonita is repeating what was already in the blog post though in her own words, there was nothing new. The idea was to interpret and present her findings of what she learned from this post on integrity so that others can learn as well. Basically, I got nothing out from Bonita’s talk. Meanwhile, Kok Wai’s talk makes it easier to me to understand and see a new light in integrity by giving real life experiences which is relatable to the audience. If we don’t do what we promise to do someone else will be disappointed and may suffer. Perhaps he can end it by reinforcing how we can integrate integrity in our lives. Kind of like tips and pointers.
Rinpoche always gave changes to his student giving talk to the public to share their knowledge to reach out more people. student can share what they had learn from his teaching and from the student experience how they learn and apply this knowledge in their life.
Both dharma brother sister Kwok Wai and Bonita has share their point of view what they had learn. In this case. i feel kwok wai talk share more dharma learning related for his own experience at his job, for his family and dharma. Congrate to Kwok Wai sincere sharing in this video.
Bonita still need to learn more putting now her own fierce to to people. Dharma knowledge is about open your heart sharing not hidding in our own fierce.
Reading out a text is not a good way to grab the attention of the crowd especially and it can be like a turn off in a way lar in fact.
Anyways I felt Bonita was not very prepared, as there do not seem to be a lot of examples it was just probably a reading of the notes that she has made. So i hope she can share again this topic with everyone based on her understanding and with a greater level of preparedness
Kok Wai did share about conditionality and he said most of the time we are conditional. But it was through KSK he felt that if he did not have integrity he would bring disappointment to others. However we all start somewhere and we hope to move from being conditional to unconditionality. There was a section of his explanation that was unclear but I think overall he did well.
I felt that when we read out the article it makes people want to turn off from listening, well that was probably not the right strategy to start off a talk especially the article is quite long. I felt bonita was not very prepared of it and I would have liked to hear more experiential sharing from her. Hope she does it again and this time much better with examples and so forth.
Kwok Wai sharing I could relate much more and his examples were more relational his talk was way much better and I understand much more from his talk. And he was very candid about why he would keep that integrity.
Thank you for Kwok Wai and Bonita’s sharing.
To talk in front of a camera is a camera about Integrity is really not easy, much more difficult to write on a blog post. I think I will be very nervous especially when still lack of the quality or still far on the way.
I prefer sharing or teaching that comes with experience and from there tells me how it could be applied to my life, to make it better. And I personally prefer the way Kwok Wai shares, and Bonita’s sharing is very suitable for those never read the original post and get to know more from there; if with personal reflection & experience, it will be a very good sharing.
I found to learn from a teaching to understand intellectually –
to get all points correctly is the first step, then we have to let the teachings sink in and relate to our experience by contemplating them, reflect to our life, work and other aspects of life. Only then we could share with people some wisdom.
I observed that when we shared only some very good teachings with people, with some kinds of realisation, even though is a very little one, it touched people and they tend to go go to know more about the teachings. Whereas when we only talk ‘bulat bulat’, without digesting the teachings and relate to our own experience, then it remain just as a piece of nice teaching, no one will be touched or benefited from there.
Thank you Rinpoche, for this educational exercise for us to learn, contemplate and share, as well as to Kwok Wai and Bonita for their respective sharings.
I felt the one which reached and resonated with me most was Kwok Wai’s sharing, because it was a sharing that he applied to what he has personally learned and understood, not merely an intellectual sharing of what should be and shouldn’t be done. What Kwok Wai said about the integrity developed as a committee member to Kechara Soup Kitchen, I find it applicable, because it is through this integrity that has gotten KSK to where it is today. How many of us can, week in week out without fail, go for KSK rounds? When I was a volunteer with KSK, as what Kwok Wai shared, I too was conditional in the beginning. If I had nothing to do this Saturday, then I’ll go.. So one must have utmost integrity to make sure that they will turn up for the rounds. The integrity is to the clients, to KSK and more importantly, to yourself.
From Kwok Wai’s sharing, I related that the integrity can be nurtured, fostered and developed through (although something one might think is ‘small’) commitment with KSK. It was nice to hear how he has developed his integrity along the way with KSK, until it became 2nd nature.
From watching this clip, I also find that reading from a piece of paper would not draw or retain attention from your audiences, because you keep breaking the ‘communication’ you have initially drawn from your audience when you keep looking at the paper.
Love,
Carmen
Kwok Wai ‘s responses is real, as he speaks from his experience, and it comes from his heart and it is the walk the talk experiences. It is not the NATO, no action, talk only….I like the parts that he says that he missed five times on the round of KSK, then he has a reliazation, and stop it before it becomes a habit, but he turns it around to be a positive habit with realisation and transform. The customer of KSK has no bound of this life realtoonship with him, and he has no need to keep his integrity but he did. Keeping promises and integrity is not hoping to get something in return, but once you practise it, it is priceless. Integrity is not only keeping promises and job done, but respect, humbleness, consideration for others, punctuality, sincerity is also the key.
Kwok Wai wins this round but, lets not be too harsh on Bonita. Yes, she reads from a script, so does most great leaders of this world. Kwok Wai speaks from the heart and through his experiences and honest recounts. Therefore, he’s easier to relate to.
Bonita on the other hand, is more pre-occupied with wanting to do good thus the technical presentation. The points presented did not strike any notes with me because she is not speaking from her heart. Work hard and try better next time.
I guess when we are given tasks like these, we should not worry too much about presentation, eloquence or how well we look. Speaking honestly and from the heart is a better bet!
Thanks for sharing guys, after i have listened to both of their sharing,i prefer Kwok Wai. He shared his experiences of being a husband and a leader at KSK, he is sincere an totally understand that the importance of integrity.
For my personal experience, to total understanding on Rinpoche’s blog on whatever topics, we need to digest it and do a self examination, but most importantly is transform after reading it. When you are sharing your thoughts to friends or public you will be able to give a talk that people feels your sincerity.
Years is not a matter, is the understanding and devotion to your Guru.
Thank you Kwok Wai and Bonita for sharing your thoughts.
Kwok Wai’s sharing was more easy to be absorbed for me. I felt that Kwok Wai spoke from his heart, and it is very clear that he is very passionate about KSK. He understood what it means to deliver a promise, even more so a simple promise made to a homeless person whom he may not know personally at all.
How many of us would do that? How many of us would deliver a promise without condition or expectation to receive something back?
He understood the importance of integrity to an organisation, how others would view KSK if there was no integrity in KSK workers to their clients, sponsors and volunteers. We can apply this understanding to everything else we do. For people working in charity or non-profit organizations, the duty of care and integrity is higher.
Well done Kwok Wai! I’m happy for you and KSK =D
I personally prefer Kwok Wai’s presentation as he related to his work and what it meant to him be it at work or in life. How he learned so much through experience and understanding. Easier to relate to me as well.
As for Bonita’s presentation, it was not convincing enough that she made the effort to relate to the post. Maybe she should read again and try to understand what it means.
People may get stage fright but that doesn’t mean that we don’t come prepared with notes that we could’ve have study, contemplate and prepare beforehand.
In my opinion, I think Kwok Wai’s part is better as what many have mentioned.
He related to his own experience as a husband, a committee member of Kechara Soup Kitchen and his own concept of “integrity” and commitment that was conditional. I feel he has thought about how this applies to himself and gave relevant examples in his daily life that others can understand.
Bonita needs to work harder in finding relevant examples that others can relate, and perhaps that will help in making her presentation more personal.
I am quite impressed by Kwok Wai’s personal expression and experience with integrity because it showed that he really understood the topic and how he could relate to it. I really found it very empowering to learn that some people can speak from experience!
Bonita on the other hand, talked as if she did not prepare for the talk and was just making up the conclusion as she went. She did not relate to it on a personal level, and there is a distance between her and the topic.
In this talk, Kwok Wai had prepared well and shown a better understanding of what integrity means than Bonita. Bonita had not prepared well. She had not elaborated and explained her understanding of integrity with examples. She can do better if she had shared her own experience of what integrity is.
Kwok Wai is able to apply his understanding of what integrity is in his daily life. What struck me most is that he related integrity to his Kechara Soup Kitchen (KSK) Dharma Work. According to Kwok Wai, integrity is the basis of the relationship between KSK’s clients and KSK. No matter what happens, KSK’s clients know that KSK will be there to deliver the food for them. There is the trust or integrity KSK had developed over the years of its operation. KSK’s clients had a friend (KSK) to depend on at all times.
Kwok Wai had also realized from the teachings that integrity is important in his relationships with his family, friends and etc.
In any case, thank you Kwok Wai and Bonita for your sharing.
Bonita read and did not communicate what she learnt. In that alone fails the topic of integrity. Kok Wai was better in that he related his experience at KSK. However, he can improve by relating his experience in a manner where people listening to him can walk away learning something and not just think “Good for him.”
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Some readers may wonder why Kwok Wai and Bonita are doing this presentation. Its actually another skillful method that Rinpoche is employing for the dharma to penetrate deeper into us hard-headed students.
Tsongkhapa said: “All Dharma should be taken as personal advice.” This is exactly what Rinpoche is doing, to make us apply the teachings to ourselves.
Kwok Wai has done a decent job of it in this talk, it is very clear in the video. Bonita has not, it is also very clear in the video. Whatever the reason for this, there is clearly room for improvement.
I think this recent quote from Rinpoche applies to this situation:
“The best way to develop yourself is when you are challenged with difficulties. Not when everything is easy and at your fingertips.” ~ Tsem Rinpoche
Bonita you will have another chance to speak dharma in front of an audience, and I really hope you will do better next time.
Kwok Wai’s sharing on the subject shows us how well he understands it and he shows result – integrity in life and his dharma work. The way he explained and relate the article using his own personal experience has touched me and i feel he is eager to have a change for better by applying integrity in his life.
This is a good way to make people speak up their mind. It shows how well you can understand thing and how skillful you can relate the subject matter to your own personal experience, so that your talk sounds convincing and not dry.
Between the 2 speakers, I found Kwok Wai’s talk is much better than Bonita’s. Kwok Wai explains to us how he and his “company” apply integrity in their work and life. Because of integrity, KSK grows bigger and bigger. Kwok Wai use real life example and experience to explain to us.
Bonita on the other hand, did not really have any real life example to show. We are not able to relate ‘integrity’ to our lives.
Kwok Wai’s teaching is more benefial as he shows example to us on how to apply integrity, he covers theory and practice.
Kwok Wai and Bonita, thank you for your sharing.
Bonita, I am looking forward to your next sharing, I think I’ll have a lot to learn from you on your next talk. 🙂
Kwok Wai, thank you for your talk, I really could relate to it and it made a lot of sense to me, it resonated in responsibility, care, compassion and… integrity indeed.
Kwok Wai & Bonita already make thier 1st step out to stand in front to talk !
But the important thing is, 有做功课的就会流畅无阻。 亲身经历的，就能以身示众。诚恳的人， 就会得以共鸣！
After listening to both Kwok Wai and Bonita, I feel Kwok Wai was quite honest about what he was before joining KSK. Thanks to the head and the team of KSK for giving him a chance to learn and to understand the importance of integrity.
For Bonita, I think she needs to understand the notes and share more.
Bonita just read out from the text and there’s hardly any interaction with the audience. It could be this is the first time and she had stage fright or was unprepared. I hope after reading all the comments here she will improve the next time and present her talk in a more sincere manner.
As with Kok Wai, he is a natural. He was able to reach out to the audience by sharing his experiences and he spoke from his heart.
It appears to me that Bonita only did a mindless reading. Even her tone does not understanding and passion on the subject – toneless. Perhaps rehearsal and contemplation on the meaning of the writing would have helped her perform better. Need to engage audience through eye contacts.
Kwok Wai enggaged the audiences better through eye contacts and good job in using personal experiences to explain the subject at hand.
This comment is intended to be a constructive feedback.
Rinpoche often explains that the best way we can really understand a teaching is when we begin to see it as a part of our lives and how we can apply it to the situations that we go through. So I liked listening to what Kwok Wai explained because he read and studied the teaching IN RELATIONS to what he is doing and what he needs to do more of in the future, especially with KSK.
I liked that he took the teaching to help him better understand why his current work with KSK is important; and how to make it even better. He took something away from the article and saw how it applied to his own individual practice and path. Good for you Kwok Wai, am very happy to see 🙂 Jia You Jia You for being inspiring and changing the lives of many, now and into the future.
I find this method which Rinpoche has is amazing. Most of us are very worried about losing face. Therefore when we talk about qualities that we do not have, we will be more careful and will “walk the talk”.
The guru will never give up on his students, his role is to make us better and at the end happier. And some of us who has certain “bad” qualities needs to be changed. These are the qualities which pulls us back from being happy in general
Kwok Wai spoke about his experiences which the audience were able to relate to. He seems sincere about about his experience especially with KSK.
I felt that Kwok Wai’s comment on the article was honest and almost raw. I liked how he said (not paraphrased), “I was very selective with whom I kept my promises to – I kept promises to my family coz I didn’t want them to leave me.”
I really like how he then applied the article to his current role at KSK, saying that he realizes that he can’t afford to be selective now because people’s lives depends on it.
I didn’t feel that what Bonita said was genuine or well thought out.
Thank you for sharing =)
I really like how Kwok Wai shared the article through connecting it with his experience in life. It clearly shows that he actually sat down, and did some contemplation then shared it with all of us. Not only did he truly understood what integrity is… but he made the effort to do some intensive study so that he can share it with everyone. I’m sure many people benefitted from his sharing just like how I did.
Thank you Kwok Wai and Bonita for the sharing. Kwok Wai is obviously the more eloquent speaker and as many others have said, his by illustrating his explanation of integrity with his personal involvement with the homeless clients of KSK, he shared an experiential aspect which people could relate to easily.
On the other hand, i felt that Bonita was nervous and hesitant and explained the subject matter in a more theoretical way so it was less easy to relate to.
In the end, this was an exercise in how we contemplate the Dharma and share our learnings from our realisations. I hope Bonita will take the feedback in all the comments on this post constructively and use it to improve her understanding and delivery for the next time.
Thank you again to both of you for taking the time to share on this important topic on Rinpoche’s blog.
I feel that Kok Wai was more opened than Bonita. He expressed his inner thoughts and revealed how conditional his integrity used to be. And how important integrity is for him especially for his work at Kechara Soup Kitchen.
Bonita on the other hand was very dry and not engaging. It was very rehearsed and not authentic.
I think Kwok Wai did a pretty good explanation on integrity. I like it the way he put himself as an example which I was very impressed about it. That mean he accepted his mistake and making an effort to make a better change. As his KSK comm, he’s indeed very committed to the Saturday rounds operations.
Obviously Kwok Wai is a better speaker than Bonita. Hence Bonita, you gotto improve yourself and polish up your speech! Speak louder and be more enthusiastic!
I feel that Kwok Wai studied the text, understood the instructions and what was expected of him when he stood in front of the camera. He applied the teachings to his involvement with KSK and how he understood that if he failed,he would not only be failing himself but the many others who are depending on him.
On the other hand, Bonita was being technical, trying to explain rather than sharing with us how she had/would apply Rinpoche’s teachings as laid out in the text.
Thank you Kwok Wai & Bonita for the sharing.
We can see two different type of presentation. One is sharing while the other one is merely presentation.
Kwok wai is sharing from his heart & his experiences on what he understand from the post. That’s why we can relate to him on his understanding on the subject – Integrity and we can also see what he has learned and how he practised it out. This is very inspiring.
For Bonita, she is mainly sharing from her knowledge or from theory and do not really share from her experiences. Therefore, it didnt reach people and touched people’s heart.
For Dharma sharing, what i learned here is we should share from our heart and relate to our own experience. There is no right or wrong on our sharing but just how much we understand the topic and actualizing it out.
Thank you Rinpoche for your skillful means in developing us spiritually.
I really like this way of teaching, and I was told this is one of the traditions in Gaden where one is trained to learn Buddhism.
It also reminds me of what Pastor Ngeow had been saying all these while: learn a topic, contemplate it and share it with others. The benefit of doing this is so obvious: If we only learn intellectually, it will only become intellectual, but if we contemplate and relate the topic to us, then we can live the Dharma in our daily lives.
Based on that notion, I would say Kok Wai did a FAR BETTER job than Bonita. To me, Kok Wai did do some contemplation on the topic, relate to himself and share what he contemplated with the audience. I would say he definitely learnt something there.
On the other hand, I would say Bonita just explain the topic intellectually but there isn’t much contemplation.
For the benefit of Bonita, I felt she should do it again, with contemplation, and solid points. This will benefit Bonita and the audiences.
I totally agree with DR, anyone can understand, talk and regurgitate Rinpoche’s teaching on Integrity. But the key is, will he/she be able to apply this very important message / lesson in their daily lives. I sincerely hope so…
We all know how well kwok wai can talk… and deliver his points in sweet eloquent words… (Champion talker)
All I have to share is a saying my father has always taught us time and time again.
“TALK LESS, DO MORE”
Thank you both for your sharing!
I’ve to listen to Bonita’s part of explanation twice because unlike Kwok Wai’s, hers seems more like an explanation on the meaning of promise. It is harder for me to grasp her point since it lacked scenario(s) on how keeping promise connects with problems we face daily. Her way of explanation is more conservative, meaning she would rather repeat what Rinpoche has said than to interpret it with her own words. I feel this kind of approach can be encouraging but less convincing. There are, however, still something I’ve learned from her understanding, that is keeping promise requires consistency, determinations, and at times it is ok for us to reach out for help and ask support from others in order to fulfill our promise.
Kwok Wai’s explanation is interpreted with the (or one of the) core values of KSK and on the result of his ownself reflections. He explains on how our minds work before and after understanding the dharma by giving examples on how integrity can be achieve with different motivations. He further explains how consistency can clear obstacles in achieving a goal, especially one that is for the benefit of others. He came to a conclusion that integrity results in a type of priceless bond, which I understand as trust, that can only be obtain through sincerity and consistency. I’ve learned through him more about KSK, in fact Kechara and Rinpoche as a whole, the sets of values and the group of minds behind that gets Kechara where it is today.
From the talk both Kwok Wai and Bonita gave, I appreciated Kwok Wai’s sharing more than Bonita’s.
Kwok Wai’s presented his personal understanding, gave us his own real life examples and how coming in to Kechara and joining KSK changed his mind set on integrity (which was the topic of the talk) which he thought he knew and was conditional. His sharing had more substance.
However, Bonita did not share much but gave only theoretical understanding.
Yes, Kok Wai brought his own experiences of his work and involvement with KSK to bear on the topic of the talk – integrity. His talk being thus more ‘relational’ and ‘grounded’ was hence more interesting and effective.The fact that his clients are the homeless makes his perception of ‘integrity’ so much more dharmic. When you honor your ‘promise’ to deliver food to the homeless come rain or shine,it bespeaks of real compassion, love and care.
Bonita showed a lot of restraint and reserve. Her delivery was not an ‘outpouring’ from the heart. We don’t really know her thoughts and her feelings about the topic of ‘integrity’.
I prefer Kok Wai’s sharing more. He related the teaching with his own experience, this made me feel that the teaching has touched his heart to a certain extent. And the way he shared also made me believe that he actually realized the importance of integrity and wanted a change in himself.
Whereas for Bonita, she’s sharing the facts. I couldn’t really feel her and from her speech, I don’t know whether she actually gained a realization from this teaching. Sorry to say, I could take a notes out of her sharing but it didn’t touch me. Perhaps she was nervous to do a sharing especially when there was a video recording.
However, I believe that both the speakers sure have learned something from the sharing itself. Yes, even a sharing can be a learning process if we really contemplate on that. This is the beauty of Dharma.
Thank you Kwok Wai and Bonita for sharing.
What we have learned and practicing it by injecting into our daily life no matter what we are doing. Everybody have their own strength and weaknesses but we must not use this as an excuse for us not to be improving. We might be able to deliver a beautiful stage play but eventually a play is a play…not a real you…so we must be real and transform.
Well, it is not really a deep subject matter but integral to the Dharma. In fact, I think most of it is common sense but it wouldn’t be easy if we have guilt or we are facing people whom we have disappointed. I do not want to be overly critical about their presentations but what strike me was that both appeared nervous and perhaps unprepared for it. I don’t blame them because I would feel the same if I was in a similar situation.
However, I found Bonita’s presentation to be colder, more awkward and she never had any reference to her own personal shortcomings. (It is impossible that any of us are without shortcomings.) There doesn’t seem to be any reflections from Bonita’s side. If she is going to present something, it would be good to follow what Kwok Wai did and be open and frank about it.
Bonita spoke more to theory what we should do about promises. Kokwai related more to his real life story, how he experienced the situation and how he overcome. To me, both are good in explaining on this articles. I learned from both of us, Kokwai– the important of integrity, how the passion arise. From Bonita, try to keep promise despite any type of promises have made.
hey guys, what a nice way to learn and share your dharma journey, I’m sure your experience and stories will inspire more others, keep it up and hope to hear more stories from you guys!
i like kwok wai dharma talk ans bonita too.who they are before and how they cheng .so we have to cheng our self too.defical but much push our self.tq
Kwok Wai attempted to relate the article to his personal life and work in KSK. Thus, I feel that he has understood the importance of fulfilling one’s promises which is part of building up one’s integrity. Bonita first read the article and then talked about it in a general way but did not relate the content to her life and work and the present state of her mind. Thus, her presentation was more impersonal and not relational.
From the video above, it was evident that Kwok Wai spoke from the heart and shared a very personal experience on how integrity plays an important role in his life. he was close to being emotional at certain points even. What I liked about his sharing was he had used an example of how integrity effects the people around us even though we have no “link” per se to them.
Bonita on the other hand merely regurgitated what was already written. Perhaps she did not understand what was instructed, was lazy, or was ill prepared… whichever the case, she indicated to me the exact example that how integrity hurts us even though we do not mean it out of our habituations or laziness. I hope she sees this post and reads the comments written about her and learn from it. It is not to put her down but to make her see the errors of her ways.
Videos are very unforgiving as they show us our true selves. I remember, in a life long past, while I was still in the international world of advertising… as part of training our presentation skills, we would be filmed and the video would be played back to us so we can see our errors whether it was in the way our body moved, our hand gestures, the words we used repeatedly or the little nuances we do not pick up… it was indeed very revealing!
Thank you Rinpoche for Rinpoche’s most skillful ways of making us see our true selves in the mirror all the time….
Thank you for yet another skillful means from Rinpoche to teach his students. Indeed, the BEST way to learn is to TEACH! Why? Because to be able to teach or give a presentation, we must have good understanding of the subject matter, digest it and then give our opinion and relate to our own experience. This is different from just reading from the text.
A good teacher or speakers is always the former and the audience can tell first their presentation.
Kwok Wai and Bonita’s presentations were example of each type of teachers mentioned above. Well, there is always the first time, I do hope Bonita improves over time and by practice.
I have to say, I much preferred Kwok Wai’s segment over Bonita’s. I like the fact he made it personal, and applied it to his own experiences in Kechara Soup Kitchen. It made me believe that he understood Rinpoche’s teaching on integrity, and that it has made an impact on him. His talk was a little long-winded but that’s what Aunty Kwok Wai is known for! Hehehehe
On Bonita’s part, I felt she hadn’t made an effort to digest the article and apply it to herself, or perhaps she found it difficult to do so. But that defeats the purpose of Buddhist teachings, which is to read, study and then apply. If we cannot or do not apply, then we do not transform…then how can we say we are doing practice, if we’re not applying anything to our practice? 🙂
I hope Bonita is reading the comments here by readers. To listen to others’ comments is a good way to improve.
Bonita didn’t know how to present her speech, could be unprepared, was having stage fright. I think it was both but more so was unprepared. It was dull and dry, reading from a piece of paper without interaction and not speaking to the audience. Audience like to hear testimonials, like Kok Wai’s.
I wonder how Bonita conduct product presentation in whatever she is doing?
When our Lama asks our opinion on what we think of a particular subject matter or ask us to relate how we feel and what we think to an audience, it is not a test and we get a score. It is to gauge our minds and how well we have understood a subject matter so that he can plan the next step of our dharma practice for us. So it is best to always speak from the heart and NOT what we want the audience to hear.
In short, eloquence is not of the essence here but what is the level of comprehension for Bonita and Kwok Wai on this subject on Integrity. I would recommend Bonita to read through many times again what Rinpoche has taught. Then contemplate deeper and give it a more serious thought and digest it. Then request to share her thoughts again as I am sure the audience last night was disappointed with her.
As with Kwok Wai, I hope you will continue to walk the talk.
Bonita’s talk was more of a technical presentation and kind of word perfect but it wasn’t from the heart. It could work in a different situation like in a symposium where the audience are mostly strangers and speaker has to adhere to strict timing.Kwok Wai’s talk strike a chord in me the moment he spoke as he nailed the essential point about integrity.It wasn’t a presentation but one who wish to share the joy and benefit of being sincere and honourable which he had experienced at KSK.
Thank you both for sharing with us. Kwok Wai is very direct, he didn’t use any script but speaks from his heart. His sharing is very brief but straight to the point, he grasped the important essence of the subject matter.
As for Bonita I think she should share more of how she understand the article rather than reading it out. I hope she will do much better for her future project.
Kwok Wai shared with simple experiential example from his work in Kechara Soup Kitchen that even on the surface, his clients do not not have a direct relationship with him it does not matter as it is about his own integrity and consistency in doing his work. Previously, in his business he expected a “return” for everything he did for family, friends and clients but his work in KSK changed that thinking. Through his work he also understand that there need not be any “return” in helping others. He formed a very good habit with KSK replacing his old bad habits.
Bonita did not open up to the audience about her own feelings and experiences. Perhaps she should try again.
Thanks Bonita and Kwok Wai for the sharing.
There is 2 type of presentation or speech by both of them. From my view they all are good to make this speech clear and understand.
Bonita style is like a teacher, when teaching she explain all the meaning as in text. It will be more powerful if add in more example or experience when speech.
Kwok Wai is like a active lecturer, he try to no use or follow the text then relate to his own experience and sharing by many examples. This will let the audience become nearer to our speech and they will feel wish to know what is going next. So Kwok Wai style make the speech or sharing more interesting and attractive.
Kwok Wai understood the teachings, related to his own experiences and shared with the audience.
He realsed his integrity with his business associates and family is conditional while the integrity he keeps with KSK clients is much purer because he does not expect anything in return. His talk will inspire more to get involved with voluntary works.
Bonita did not allow the teachings to touch her heart. She just mouthed what has been taught by Rinpoche. Her sharing will not benefit others.
Bonita just read Rinpoche’s article without comment how it relates to her life. Either she did not understand the article or she did not understand what she should do. I guess I will give her another chance for her to tell us whether she understood the article and retell her tales in relation to the article.
However, Kok Wai did pretty well. He understood the article and recounted his experiences on how it relates to his life. I find him a remarkable young man with great potentials if he follows Rinpoche’s advice. Syabas Kok Wai!
Kwok Wai related how he experience integrity in soup kitchen. What he feel about integrity and how he practice it in soup kitchen. I relate more with Kwok Wai. It convinces me and people how Rinpoche’s teaching has benefited him.
Therefore I should think how Rinpoche’s teaching has benefited me and in what ways it can benefited other people. Thank you Kwok Wai for reminding me! 🙂
After listening to the talks given by Kowk Wai and Bonita, I personally feel that Kwok Wai is a better speaker than Bonita.
Kwok Wai is engaging the audience with his own personal experience as a committee member in KSK in relation to the topic being discussed, by using himself as an example, he created better rapport and resonance with the audience. He has also applied his understanding or experience of “Integrity” in feeding the homeless come rain or shine, and that this weekly activity has become an integral part of his life no matter what. He also shared candidly that he too has slipped a few times.
Bonita has not done much preparation for the talk, she is just reading the article Rinpoche has written and has not really made much application of what she understands in the work she did or is doing.
I think one of the very immportant aspects of giving a talk like this is to be able to be honest, use examples(ourselves) to see when we fail or when we are good in applying the teaching in our lives. How to find antinodes to overcome our failure? A more practical approach will benefit more and aid our learning and applying the esscense of the teaching.
It is true not many of us are natural speakers and will have stage fright, nonetheless, it is OK if we are not good the first time and we learn from each other improve as we go. This type of sharing by students provide a good exchange among oursleves and is also a time for self reflection.
Thank you Kwok Wai and Bonita for the sharing.
Kwok Wai shared his experiences on involvement in Kechara Soup Kitchen, he shared the PROMISES KSK has to keep to the homeless, regardless rains or shines, the points he shared very much relate to his involvement and experiences.
Bonita did not make an effort to digest the article but just read through the article, she was not sharing her experiences and feelings, Bonita was not engaged with the audiences , I did not learn from Bonita about the important points that struck her mind.